Nothingness

I started living in nothingness,
waking up every morning without will,
walking around every day feeling lifeless, and
smiling without my eyes
for when you left,
in your hands was my world.

♠♠♠

Chapter Thirty-eight

“Seol-ah.”

Gripping tightly at Bien’s arm as if my life literally depended on him, I hardly pursed my lips as I tried so hard to gulp the painful lump down my throat and forced my mind to agree to all this once more. Nasasaktan ako pero alam ko sa sarili kong hinahangad din naman ito ng puso ko, ang utak ko lang talaga ang ayaw magpatalo at nananatiling nakakapit sa natitira pang pagmamahal ko para kay Bien.

Yes, I loved Bien, I decently loved him to the point that I was already hurting us, all of us. That my mind was torturing my heart because it couldn’t afford to mess up and lose Bien though my heart was also stubborn, rooting for the man it had always longed for. I was running away from it, I had been tossing away the fact that in the end, I would still need to choose in between them because it was unfair to keep both.

I couldn’t be anymore greedier again! But it was also hard to choose!

Matigas akong umiling nang maramdaman kong marahang hinawakan ni Bien ang mga kamay kong mahigpit na nakahawak sa braso niya. He was hushing me softly as if careful not to trigger my tears and sobs as I held tightly on him. I saw how pain flashed his eyes when I raised a pleading look at him but he was quick to mask it with a small smile.

“Seol, listen. You need to do this now, do this for Chan.” Nang magtagumpay siyang alisin ang kapit ng mga kamay ko sa braso niya ay agad niyang sinalo ang mukha ko at mariing pinakatitigan ako. Malambot ang boses niya pero damang-dama ko ang bigat noon.

“You said you’ll come with me! You said you’ll be by my side—“

“I’ll only be a distraction for the three of you.” He softly cut me off in an almost begging tone just as a whimper successfully managed to come out from my mouth. Marahas kong hinawi ang mga kamay niya mula sa pagkakahawak sa mga pisngi ko saka ako muling umiling.

Alam ko ang ginagawa niya! He had been trying to give way to Jimin and I wasn’t liking how he was trying to act fine about it! Nasasaktan siya pero masyado siyang mabait!

“I can’t do this without you, Bien! I can’t tell Eve about Jimin alone—“ I whimpered again when he once again cut me off.

“You’re not alone. You’re with the father of your child, Seol. You’ll tell your daughter the truth, together… together, Seol-ah.”

Masakit na nakikita ko sa mga mata niyang nasasaktan siya pero naniniwala siyang tama ang ginagawa niya. He loved me, and he loved my daughter so much that he was willing to give way for someone he thought who deserved the chance more than he did.

I knew that he was already trying to slowly detach himself from us just so my daughter and I would have the chance to be with Jimin.

Wala akong nagawa nang hawakan niya ang kamay ko para dalhin ako sa lugar kung saan niya sinabihan si Jimin na maghintay kasama si Eve. Yes, he did it all for me and Jimin. Ni hindi ko alam kung kailan pa sila nagsimulang mag-usap simula nang dumating siya rito sa Pinas pero sa buong oras na magkasama sila sa iisang lugar, hindi ko sila nakitaan ng kahit na anong hindi magandang tinginan.

I wasn’t saying that they should be growling or whatsoever to each other, I just thought that it wouldn’t be nice having them meet after all that had happened. Jimin was my ex-boyfriend and Bien was my boyfriend, that fact alone was all enough to have thoughts about them not really getting alone with each other.

Mukhang ako lang talaga rito iyong immature na palaging iniisip na lahat ay dapat konektado sa akin o kay Eve, halos lahat sila ay pare-parehong mag-isip. They were all handling everything maturely and here I was, letting my immaturity got the best of me.

Masama bang protektahan iyong puso ko sa taong may kakayahang durugin ito ulit? Masama bang gawin ko ang lahat para hindi mawala sa akin iyong taong sigurado akong hindi-hindi kailanman magagawang saktan ako? Masama bang kahit na si Jimin ang mahal ko, si Bien ang piliin ko kasi sa kaniya, siguradong hindi kami masasaktan pareho ni Eve? Masama ba iyon?

Paulit-ulit kong sinusubukang bawiin mula kay Bien ang kamay ko habang patungo kami sa isang parte ng mansiyon pero kahit na anong subok ko ay mahigpit niyang hawak ang kamay ko, walang balak na pakawalan ako. Sinubukan ko ring gamitin ang isang kamao ko para pagsusuntukin siya pero hindi siya natinag.

I never thought about Bien’s physical strength until now, he was slender but the strength he had to easily pull me and manhandle me was not a joke.

He wasn’t even exerting extra effort on pulling me!

“Bien!” I whined at him, seeing that we were already entering a deeper part of the mansion. Lumampas na kami sa teahouse ni Mamang at patungo na kami sa likod ng mansiyon kung saan may mga nagtataasang puno at paniguradong walang tao.

I didn’t know how Bien and Jimin knew about this part of the mansion when I myself hadn’t even stepped foot on this part ever since. O sadyang marami nang nagbago sa Ursula Mansion simula noong bata pa ako. Ni hindi nga ako lumalabas ng bahay noon kaya imposibleng makarating din ako rito.

My heart just hammered painfully when we finally reached the destination he was dragging me to. It was the the forest-like place at the back of the mansion, the ground was matted with freshly green Bermuda grasses, and tall and leafy trees were roofing the place from the hot rays of the high sun above.

The place was beautiful, baka nga kahit si Holly at Kuya Haynes ay hindi maiisip na may ganito kagandang lugar sa likod ng mansiyon pero hindi iyon ang dahilan ng pagwawala ng puso ko.

I hated to admit this but seeing Jimin and Eve casually sitting on the grass, giggling over what they were both talking about was a view so beautiful and endearing for my watery eyes. It was a scenery that softly warmed my heart and unbelievably cleared all the stigmas my mind had been going through. It suddenly and shortly brought me to the beautiful reality my heart had been seeking to ever since time immemorial.

Right in front of me, right before my eyes, very vivid and picturesque… was a beautiful reality.

“You can make her even happier than that, Seol… you just have to do the right thing.” Narinig ko ang malambot ngunit basag na boses ni Bien sa likod ko pero masyadong masarap titigan ang senaryong nakikita ko kaya hindi ko magawang lumingon. “I’ll let you do the right thing, even though it hurts.”

What he said next struck my heart but my mind was too busy, finally opening up for what they had been trying to make me see.

Hindi na niya kailangan pang kaladkarin ako palapit dahil kusang humakbang ang mga paa ko palapit sa kinaroroonan ng mga ito hanggang sa parehong mag-angat ng tingin sa akin sila Jimin at Eve dahil sa anino kong parehong nagbigay lilim sa kanila mula sa iilang mga sinag ng araw na tumatagos sa mga dahon ng punong kinaroroonan nila.

Heart clenching and mind warming, I immediately kneeled down when Eve instantly stood up and threw herself to me for a tight hug. Her innocence was dripping as she was so oblivious of what was about to come. She sweetly peppered me kisses while still giggling over what she was talking about with her father just now.

Her sweet smell that had the evidence of her father instantly soothed my nose, the softness of her little body felt so good against my skin.

“Mommy! Jimin oppa brought me here! He let me play! He said we’d wait for you here!” Matinis ang boses niya nang magsalita siya malapit sa tainga ko pero mas niyakap ko lang siya ng mahigpit, ang mga mata ko ay dahan-dahang dumako kay Jimin na nanatiling naka-upo pero nakatitig sa amin ni Eve.

When our eyes met, the smile that was stretched in his lips slowly vanished as he bravely held my gaze, no plans on backing down. Marahan akong kumurap para putulin ang titigan namin saka ko marahang itinulak si Eve palayo sa akin. I gently fixed stray strands in her face as I smiled sweetly at her.

I tried to hard to focus my mind on my daughter and not on the memories of what had happened between us that one night. I was trying so hard to act that it was nothing, that it wasn't affecting me and it was so hard!

“Mahal ko, could you be a big girl for a while and understand everything Mommy’s going to say to you?” I carefully told my daughter, holding her arms and lightly pulling her to sit back on the grass as I also sat in front of her. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Jimin twitch in his seat but he remained silent, his stares still lacerating through my system.

I didn't even want to know what he was thinking.

When my daughter cutely yet innocently nodded her head at me, I bravely dared to turn my head back only to see Bien’s back already walking back to the mansion. It hurt me to see him as if walking away from us but then, he was right. I needed to do the right thing for Eve. Bumuntong-hininga ako saka muling ibinalik sa harap ang tingin ko.

Eve had her head raised at me as if waiting for what I would tell her while Jimin was still silently staring, also waiting for it. I didn’t know if Bien had already told him why he was told to bring Eve here but from the way he stared at me, it seemed like he was clueless.

Gathering courage and strength, I once again let our eyes meet. He flinched a bit at the sudden eye contact as my heart flicked painfully, seeing again the eyes of the only man I never thought I would only love this greatest. Ni hindi ko alam kung bakit kahit na ilang beses na niya akong sinaktan ay tumitibok pa rin para sa kaniya ang puso ko.

I believed that what we had back then was great and almost perfect, but it couldn’t be the reason why my heart was still stupidly holding on to him… there must be something more.

“You can choose, I’ll tell her or you’ll tell her?” I lowly told him, finally surrendering to the way he was softly staring at me.

Bahagya munang kumunot ang noo niya sa pagtataka bago unti-unting nanlaki ang mga mata, umawang ang mga labi niya kaya sunod-sunod akong tumango sa kaniya. Pakiramdam ko, ngayon ko lang naramdaman iyong pagod sa lahat. Gusto ko na lang na matapos na ito, gusto ko na lang na bumalik na lang ulit sa dati iyong lahat. Hindi na ako gagawa ng mga maling desisyon.

Turn back time and I would seriously right my mistakes. Hindi ko na ipagkakait kay Jimin ang makilala si Eve, kahit na hindi na siya sa akin, handa akong bigyan siya ng pagkakataong makasama ang anak niya para lang hindi na kami mahulog sa ganito.

“If it feels so hard for you, then I can—“

Natigil ako sa pagsasalita nang mabilis pa sa kidlat na tumayo siya saka kinarga ang batang walang ka-ide-ideya sa gagawin niya. He happily and repeatedly tossed the kid up in the air while smiling widely at her. Sa kada-sasaluhin niya ang bata ay hinahalikan niya sa labi kaya agad din nakabawi sa bigla sa Eve saka humagikhik sa ginagawa ng Daddy niya.

They did that for a minute before Jimin happily carried Eve in his arms and went back to sit in front of me, they were both breathing harshly but sharing the same big happy smile.

“Jimin oppa, that was fun! Do it again, do it again, again!” masayang sabi ni Eve, hinihila ang manggas ng suot ni Jimin habang naka-upo siya sa kandungan ng Daddy niya.

“I will, if you call me Appa!”

Nalaglag ang panga ko at halos mapa-facepalm ako dahil sa biglaan niyang pagkakasabi noon. I gave him the chance to tell it to Eve because I was still looking for the right words to tell his daughter, I had just thought that maybe he already had words in his mind. Hindi ko naman alam na sa ganoong paraan niya balak sabihin iyon.

Bakit ba umasa pa akong may matinong bagay pang tumatakbo sa isipan niya?

Mariin akong pumikit nang pumuno ang katahimikan sa pagitan naming tatlo at nang dumilat ako ay tinapunan ko si Jimin ng masamang tingin. Sa hitsura niya, parang hindi niya rin inaasahang masasabi niya iyon.

“I… I just got carried away.” His soft voice came out low as he slowly bowed his head, his ears were obviously turning red.

Si Eve na nasa kandungan niya ay nagtatakang nagpalit-lipat ng tingin sa amin ng Daddy niya at masyadong inosente ang hitsura niya para malaman ko ang kung anong tumatakbo na sa isip niya.

Marahas akong nagpakawala ng malalim na buntong-hininga saka akmang aagawin si Eve mula sa kaniya nang mabilis siyang umiling at mas niyakap ng mahigpit si Eve. I clenched my teeth and glared darkly at him even more.

“Jimin, give her to me and I’ll properly tell her the truth,” inis kong sabi pero umiling siya ulit.

“No… I w-will tell her—“

“You’re my Appa?”

Pakiramdam ko naglaglag ang puso ko nang marinig ko ang mahina at inosenteng boses ni Eve habang tinitingala ang Daddy niya na ngayon ay nakatitig na sa kaniya. I let my hands fall on my lap as I watched them both stare at each other, probably their eyes reflecting both of their faces because they had such strong resemblance.

That right there was my child and her father. What a beautiful reality though if Jimin was mine.

Hindi ko rin inaasahang ganoon kadaling ma-pi-pick up ni Eve ang gusto naming sabihin sa kaniya.

“You’re my Appa?” Inulit ni Eve ang tanong niya sa linggwaheng komportable siya saka muling hinila ang manggas ni Jimin na para bang gusto na niyang marinig ang sagot.

Softly fixing her in his lap, Jimin carefully turned his daughter so she was facing him as he gently cradled her small face in his palms before slowly bumping his forehead to hers.

Nakita ko kung paano siya mariing pumikit bago siya dahan-dahang tumango. “Yes, my love. I’m your Appa.”

Maybe I had expected differently. Inaasahan ko kasing hindi magiging maganda ang reaksiyon ni Eve oras na malaman niya ang totoo pero naisip ko ring bata pa siya, wala pa sa isip niya iyong mga paghihirap namin dahil wala sa tabi namin ang Daddy, bata pa siya kaya natural na matuwa siya sa nalaman niya.

Bilang bata, ang malaman niyang may Daddy siya ang pinakamahalaga para sa kaniya.

I painfully watched as she instantly moved up to hug her father, her pair of white small arms wrapping around her father’s neck just as she was safely gripped by her father’s arms, and she showered his face with her butterfly kisses while continuously uttering “Appa!”.

The happiness I was seeing from her, that was what I had long ago deprived her. She wasn’t looking for a father, but she needed her father.

She, indeed, needed Jimin in her life.

“Yes, yes, I’m your Appa! I’m your Appa!”

Parang nagpapaligsahan ang mga boses nila dahil sa sayang parehong pumupuno sa mga boses nila, sumabay pa ang nag-iingay kong puso, kahit na nasasaktan, nagawa rin nitong makisaya sa kanila.

Could someone lead me the way into the beautiful reality right in front of me? I wanted the right path.

After having Eve know the truth about her father, I had made it a mission to bring my parents and Jimin into the same room so I could formally introduce him as my daughter’s father. Hindi naging madali iyon dahil pagkatapos ng pinaka-highlight ng event ay kasama pa rin ng mga magulang ko ang mga Lotivios, kahit na habang kumakain na ang lahat.

Magkakasama ang mga Montecarlos sa iisang mesa, sina Tito Brian at ang pamilya niya ay nasa iisang mesa rin samantalang magkakasama pa rin sa iisang table ang BTS at si Evah. Bien and I chose a different table from them but I failed to drag my daughter with us because she had been glued to her father ever since we came back to the mansion. Kasama namin ni Bien si Aly sa table namin.

Naintindihan ko siya dahil halata namang may iniiwasan siya. Among all of us, it was her who was still very mad at the BTS. Hindi nga maganda kung pagsasamahin sila sa iisang mesa, though kanina ko pa nahuhuli si Taehyung na lumilingon sa gawi namin.

My cousins from both sides also made their own crowd. Mas nagkakasundo sila sa totoo lang.

Nasabi ko na rin kay Bien ang mga nangyari kanina sa pagitan namin nina Jimin at Eve. He was more than happy and I hated him for that. What about himself? Noon ay hindi pumapayag si Eve na malayo sa kaniya, pero ngayon ay nandoon ang bata sa Daddy niya. What about Bien? What about Bien in my daughter’s life? I seriously didn’t know.

“I knew you could do it. You can do everything for Chan.” His small yet genuine smile was what made this even harder for me.

“I plan to introduce him to my parents too, Bien.”

“You should.” Tumango siya.

Kaya nang makita kong tumayo si Mamang at naglakad papasok sa mansiyon ay mabilis din akong tumayo para habulin siya. Nasa loob na kami nang maabutan ko siya. Surprised, my mother turned to me and softly caressed my back as I harshly breathed beside her.

“What’s wrong?” she softly asked me. Bahagya niya pang binalingan ang labas bago niya ako hinawakan sa braso at marahang isinabay sa paglalakad niya. “You shouldn’t run like that, sana tinawag mo ako. May kailangan ka ba?”

I wasn’t afraid about what my parents could possibly say about Jimin if they met him, I just felt odd that I would be introducing him to them as my child's father. Parang hindi kasi magandang tingnan. Isa pa, alam kong marami silang tanong na ibabato sa akin, handa na ba ako sa mga iyon? Hindi ko rin alam basta ang alam ko, kailangan kong tapusin na ang paghihirap ko.

Bahala na kung anong mangyayari pagkatapos.

“Can I talk with you and Papang? Alone? I mean, I have something to tell you…”

Matapos kong magawang mapa-upo si Mamang at Papang sa couch sa living room ay sandali akong nagpaalam sa kanila para naman puntahan sina Jimin at Eve. Walang tao sa sala dahil nasa garden silang lahat kung saan mismo nagaganap ang event kaya puwede kaming mag-usap doon. Hindi na rin naman naging mahirap na dalhin sina Jimin at Eve sa loob ng mansiyon dahil nasabi ko na kay Jimin kanina pa ang plano ko.

He was happy over it though he never said anything. Niri-respeto pa rin niya ang mga desisiyon ko at pinipiling manahimik dahil alam niyang iyon lang ang maitutulong niya.

“I don’t have a girlfriend, my love.”

“But I saw you with her. She’s pretty…”

“Yes. She is, but she's not my girlfriend.”

Hindi ko maiwasang marinig ang pinag-uusapan nina Eve at Jimin habang naglalakad kami patungo sa living room. Nag-uusap sila kanina lang ng tungkol sa mga cartoons na napanood na ni Eve kaya hindi ko alam kung paanong napadpad sila sa ganoong usapan. I also suddenly wished that I couldn’t understand them but crap, I could!

Alam kong wala sila ni Sally pero tama ba namang pag-usapan nila iyon ni Eve? Ang bata-bata pa ng anak niya para sa mga ganoong bagay.

“Mommy’s prettier though…”

Halos mabuwal ako sa paglalakad nang marinig ko ang sinabi ni Eve. I stopped walking to turn around and stare at the both of them. Sinalubong ako ng dalawang pares ng magkahawig na mga mata, parehong takang nakatitig sa akin. My daughter’s pair of small eyes blinking confusedly at me while Jimin’s confused small eyes were mixed with firmness.

Bumuntong-hininga ako. Turning again in embarrassment, I continued walking as I felt them follow behind me.

“Yes, you take after her.”

“Really? I got her eyes then?”

“Hm, I think you got my eyes though you got her beauty.”

Pursing my lips tightly, my jaw almost hurt as I tried to restrict a smile from appearing from my lips. Ang bilis lang talaga nilang napalapit sa isa’t isa. It seemed unfair to me but then, if it was for my daughter’s happiness then I could get it off the hook.

Maybe that was what Bien had been trying to make me see.

Agad din namang bumalik ang kabang nararamdaman ko kanina para sa mga mangyayari ngayon nang tuluyan na kaming makarating sa living room. Naabutan naming nag-uusap ang mga magulang ko, masinsinan silang nag-uusap kaya hindi pa nila kami napapansin.

I took the chance to turn around and check for Jimin and Eve. Jimin was already staring at the couple on the couch. Seryoso ang mga mata niya at pinid na pinid ang mga labi. It was funny how it took us long to come to this point. Noong kami pa ay parati kong iniisip kung paano ko siya ma-ipapakilala sa mga magulang ko… hindi ko naman inaakalang mangyayari pa rin iyon.

Sa ibang pagkakataon nga lang. Hindi ko siya ipapakilala bilang boyfriend ko, kung hindi bilang Daddy ng anak ko.

I simply threw a small smile on his way before softly getting my parents’ attention by low-key clearing my throat. Sabay silang lumingon sa akin bago tumagos ang mga tingin nila sa likod ko. I slowly walked towards the couch they were sitting on, lightly tilting my head back to see if Jimin followed.

Wala silang sinabi nang makita nila si Jimin, sa halip ay tahimik nilang pinanood nang maupo si Jimin sa single couch na nasa gilid ng mahabang couch. The idol properly fixed his daughter on his lap as the kid just held tightly on him, still not wanting to let go.

I mentally wished that by that, my parents had already picked up what I wanted to tell them but I knew, they would still need words from me. I seriously didn’t know where and how to start, and I was just trying to go as how this would go for me.

“Mang, Pang…” I started upon having myself sit on the other single couch, across the couch Jimin was sitting on. Humarap ako sa mga magulang ko saka banayad na tumitig sa kanila. They both stared at me, waiting for what I would say next though I could see through their eyes that they already had an idea. “He’s Eve’s father.”

With my heart drumming in nervousness, I slowly brought my eyes down and let it land on the floor. My heart wasn’t taking another heavy confrontation but I needed this done. I would openly accept my parents’ response over this, whatever it might be—good or bad.

“Hanselle, we don’t want to get involved with your—“

“No, Marion. Gusto kong marinig mula sa lalaking iyan kung nasaan siya noong mga panahong mag-isang pinalaki ni Hanselle ang apo ko.”

Nag-angat ako ng tingin. Papang was staring sternly at Jimin who was softly staring back while Mamang just gave me a sigh. Tumango ako saka ibinuka ang bibig ko para magpaliwanag nang muling magsalita si Papang, mas mariin at mas malalim na ngayon ang tono ng boses.

“Don’t speak, Hanselle. Hindi ikaw ang magpapaliwanag, ang lalaking ito dapat.”

Muli akong tumahimik at hinayaan na lang si Papang na siyang kumausap kay Jimin. Naiitindihan ko kung galit siya, hindi na rin lingid sa kanila ang mga pinagdaanan ko noon sa Seoul. Mabuti nga at wala rito si Kuya Haynes at abala siya sa okasiyon dahil hindi ko maipapangakong magiging maganda kung magkikita silang muli ni Jimin.

All the while Papang was interrogating the father of my child, asking him questions myself had always been wanting to ask him, Mamang and I were just silent, listening as every fragment of his truth was softly yet sincerely coming out from his mouth.

He didn’t specifically answer my father the same thing I heard from Sally but it was all the same, the manipulation he had gone through and still enduring until now, the pretend relationship just to save me and his plans upon ending the contract with Bighit together with their disbandment… all of those, he bravely revealed to my parents as he safely cradled in his arms our daughter.

I could see him twitching uncomfortably in his seat but he wasn’t showing fear, it was like he had been long ready for this kind of confrontation. Nakisama pa si Eve na nanahimik lang sa kandungan niya, nakikinig pero alam kong hindi pa kayang i-adopt ng utak niya ang mga naririnig niya. At sa tuwing sasagot si Jimin kay Papang ay tatapunan muna niya ako ng isang sulyap na nagiging sanhi ng pagbilis ng tibok ng puso ko.

It was seriously tiring to question my heart as to why it was still loving the same man, because I thought, it never stopped, it never stopped loving Jimin.

“Pictures? What exactly were those? I can sue them for that!” galit na sabi ni Papang pero nanatiling kalmado si Jimin nang humantong sila sa mga pictures kong hawak ng SMT.

The same thing Jimin had said to me that night.

“No need, Sir. I have already brought charges against those people. The case is currently under special investigation. I have people in Korea to handle that,” sagot ni Jimin na nagpalaglag ng panga ko pero nang sinubukan kong hulihin ang mga mata niya ay hindi man lang siya sumulyap sa akin.

“No, I’ll send some of my people there to see deeper into the case. I’ll seriously charge them every possible offense for ruining my daughter’s life!”

“Then I will inform my people about that. It’s actually a very private investigation since SMT is a big and popular agency, I just don’t like any names being dragged.”

Mabilis akong lumingon kay Mamang saka umiling dahil alam kong walang makikinig sa akin. Hindi na kailangang gawing mas komplikado ang lahat. Ayaw ko ng kaso-kaso! Gulo lang iyon! Isa pa, tapos naman na iyong mga nangyari noon, safe na ako, safe na kami ni Eve, hindi na kailangan pang kasuhan ang naging puno’t dulo ng lahat kasi wala namang magbabago.

“Pang, you don’t need—“ Natigilan ako nang matalim akong tinitigan ni Papang. He never did that so I was taken a back.

“Not this time, Hanselle. Masyado yata akong naging maluwag sa’yo. How could you not tell us about all this? Dapat noong umpisa pa lang nagsabi ka na! I could've taken you out of Korea and sued all those people that dragged you into such issues! They ruined your life!”

Kung wala lang si Mamang sa tabi ni Papang ay baka tuluyan na siyang sumabog kaya kahit na hindi ko gustong humantong kami sa kasuhan, nanahimik na lang ako at hinayaan silang mag-usap ni Jimin. They weren’t still very situated with each other but they found a same plan so they were talking, agreeing to the same thing that involved me as if they had known each other.

Magkaibang approach ang naipakita ni Papang kay Bien at Jimin pero nakikita kong handa siyang magbukas ng chance para sa mga ito.

Habang inilalahad ni Jimin ang ilang improvements sa kasong hindi ko alam na pinagkaka-abalahan pala niya ay hinayaan kong sumakit ang utak ko sa bawat mga kataga at salitang pinag-uusapan nila na tungkol sa batas na kahit kailan ay hindi ko talaga maiintindihan. Si Mamang ay lumipat na sa tabi ko para aluin ako kaya kahit papaano ay nakalma ako.

“You’ll be charged of breach of contract, and you’ll be a whistleblower. How fine is that for you?” Kumunot ang noo ni Papang habang nakatitig kay Jimin.

“I’m aware about that. My lawyer had me briefed about possible backlash but it’s fine for as long I have those people put behind bars.”

Pulling my mother into a tight hug, I let my emotions once again get into me as I cried in her shoulder, finally resting my mind and my heart at peace because it was already too tiring. Sana lang hindi na nila mas palakihin pa ito, at kung balak nilang ipagpatuloy ang imbestigasyong sinasabi nila, sana lang hindi na ito lumabas pa sa media.

I just seriously wanted a peaceful life, away from all the troubles that made me go through all these too in the first place.