Chapter Thirteen

["How's my baby girls? If you'll only let me cross the ocean, then I wouldn't have to deal with missing you two so much…"]

Hindi ko napigilang mapangiti sa kabila ng mga nangyayari ngayon dahil lang sa malambing na boses ni Bien sa kabilang linya. Pinagaan niya bigla ang bigat na nararamdaman ko sa nalalapit na paghaharap ng magulang ko at ni Eve.

I didn't want my daughter to be aware of what was going to happen now so as far as possible, I was taking all the pressure. I would, I would always until I couldn't anymore.

Nagkaroon lang ng maikling break at mayamaya rin ay mag-re-resume na ang meeting. Ang isang oras na meeting na inakala ko ay aabot pala ng ilang oras. Pinag-usapan na namin kanina ang ugat ng problema at sigurado akong pag-uusapan na mamaya ang mga posibleng solusyon.

"We're fine, Bien. I would want you to be here with us but I wouldn't want you to leave your job. It's your dream, Bien…" I bit my lower lip just to stop myself from sounding so needy. Dahil oras na malaman niya kung gaano na siya ka-miss ni Eve, kung gaano ko na rin siya ka-miss ay hindi siya magdadalawang-isip na iwan ang trabaho niya at lumipad patungo rito.

He was just so Bien, our very own Bien.

Hindi ko rin siya masisisi, dahil ito ang pinaka-unang beses na nagkalayo sila ni Eve ng ganito kalayo at katagal.

["Oh, your paradoxical attitude is torturing me. Why would you need to think of two opposite things at the same time?"] He chuckled from the other line, hinting what I deeply wanted but my mind kept on siding on the mature thing, and that was to stop myself from needing him so much.

Hindi ko napigilang matawa na rin. This guy totally knew me, madalas niya akong asarin dahil palaging magkasalungat ang ginagawa ko sa gusto ko talaga. I had always been like this. Na-mi-miss ko na rin iyong mga pang-aasar niyang iyon sa akin, iyong pag-aalaga niya sa amin ni Eve na kung selfish lang talaga ako ay pinilit ko na siyang lumipad dito para sa amin ng anak ko. Makakapaghintay naman kami ni Eve, bukod sa hinding-hindi mawawala sa amin si Bien ay masyado siyang loyal sa totoo lang.

He could date any girl he wanted because we didn't have commitment but he didn't so I knew, he would be forever ours. We could wait, but the boys he was going to produce, I was sure they had waited so long for this, for this opportunity. Ayaw kong magpaka-selfish para lang agawan ang mga batang iyon ng pangarap, at higit sa lahat, si Bien.

Tumuwid ako ng tayo sa harap ng salaming dingding kung nasaan kita ang magandang skyscrapers ng syudad, Montecarlos tower probably competing with those tall buildings. The weather outside was nice, with the absence of clouds that made the clear wide blue skies so pleasing in the eyes.

I meant, Seoul was just a place, at least, we still both had the same sky.

"Don't worry, only my mind thinks that way. My heart only follows one thing at a time…" Ngumuso ako para pigilan ang pagngiti ng malapad dahil sa biglaang pagbabago ng bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. I could run and compete with how it was beating so irregularly fast and loud, but it would still win.

Nakakapagod magpigil ng nararamdaman kay Bien, he deserved to know and to feel how he was being loved and treasured. Hindi ko iyon ipagkakait sa kaniya.

["Yah… yah, Seol-ah, don't do that if you don't want me packing my things here to prepare for a flight to the Philippines."] Seryoso ang boses niya sa kabilang linya.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang mapagtanto ko ang ibig niyang sabihin. Nagsasaya ang puso ko pero mas nangingibabaw ang isinisigaw ng isipan ko. That was what I had learned through the years, that there was a right time when to follow your mind and when to follow your heart. I was a person who was always in between those two.

The situation now called for what my mind was shouting. Sinasabi nitong hindi pa puwede. What was in between us could wait but his duties couldn't.

"Fine, fine, Bien! Gosh, I can't be sweet to you then?!" natatawang sambit ko saka hinigpitan ang hawak ko sa phone ko. "Promise me then that you'll produce an amazing and promising talented boys, hm?"

["I will promise that, Seol. Actually, we are now brainstorming a nice group name for them,"] aniya.

"I'm sure, whatever you come up to, it'll be just as amazing like them. Just do what you think is best for them," sagot ko.

["Arasseo, arasseo. Promise me too that you'll do good there, and tell my little princess to wait for me, that I miss her, that I love her so much… and oh, my giant princess too!"]

"Bien!" natatawang saway ko sa kaniya dahil sa itinawag niya sa akin. Narinig kong humalakhak din siya sa kabilang linya.

Nagtapos sa pagpapalitan ng 'I miss you' at 'I love you' ang pag-uusap namin ni Bien. I couldn't believe we were actually exchanging those words when in fact, before, it was just him who was always giving me those words.

Nakontento naman kami pareho sa mga pangako sa bawat isa na mag-iingat kaming pareho at magiging okay palagi. We still didn't have a label. Pero sa ganitong modernong panahon, ang bawat isa ang assurance namin na may relasyon na nga kaming dapat pangalagaan.

"Let's go…" Tumango si Kuya Haynes na nakatayo malapit sa pinto ng conference room. Tumango ako pabalik at naglakad na palapit sa kaniya.

"Is he coming here?" he asked when I got near him.

Umiling ako. "He wants to but I think, his job's what comes first," sagot ko.

Hindi lingid sa kaalaman ni Kuya Haynes ang papel ni Bien sa buhay namin ni Eve. Hindi rin lingid sa kaalaman niya ang papel namin pareho sa buhay nito. Bien had given us more than a father, more than a husband could give. And I was thankful for that, and my brother.

Siyempre, magkakilala sila. They had met already at some events before, pareho pa nga silang overprotective sa aming dalawa ni Eve at nagkakasundo sila sa bagay na iyon.

Nagpatuloy ang board meeting. Hindi na umabot ng isang oras para sa second half ng meeting. Nagsitayuan na ang lahat nang balingan na ni Mamang ang sekretarya niya para siguruhin dito na nagawa nito ang minutes ng meeting. Kamayan pagkatapos at isa-isa nang nagsipulasan palabas ang lahat.

Kuya Haynes, Holly and I immediately went to our parents. Busy si Mamang sa pakikipag-usap sa isang director nang lapitan namin siya habang si Papang ay nasa likod lang niya.

"Pang…" Kuya Haynes called for my father's attention.

"Oh, Haynes, you should call your wife. Kakain tayo sa labas. Hi girls…" Nginitian kami ni Holly ni Papang matapos yakapin si Kuya.

Holly immediately went to him and hugged him too. Ganoon din ang ginawa ko. Sakto namang tapos na si Mamang sa pakikipag-usap. Pormal na bumati ang kausap niya at nagpaalam rin pagkatapos. Nang makalabas ito ng silid ay nakangising bumaling na sa amin si Mamang.

Mukhang hindi man lang niya pinroblema ang tungkol sa M Transport Liners dahil sa hitsura niya. She hugged us one by one and told us how she had hoped for us to crowd like this again.

"Pang, I've promised Ion to meet later. I've been busy. Kailangan kong bumawi." Holly pouted, very much aware that Papang couldn't resist her. Lalo na at very supportive si Papang sa boyfriend niya.

"Horisse, family comes first—"

"Marion, let her. Alam mo naman galing ang batang iyan sa isang exhibit sa labas ng bansa. I'm sure, she misses Ion." Pinuutol ni Papang si Mamang sabay hapit sa baywang nito at sa mismong harap namin ay hinalikan niya si Mamang sa pisngi.

Napa-iwas ako ng tingin. Kay kuya at Holly nadako ang paningin ko. Holly smiled while watching them and Kuya just remained staring, not really making it a big deal. Para bang sanay na sanay na sila sa ganoong eksena. It was just me. It was just me again. Hindi ako sanay dahil hindi naman ako lumaki na kasama sila sa iisang bahay. I had lived alone, independently as I called it and I was now seeing the consequences of my decisions. But then, ngayon pa ba ako manghihinayang? Kailan ba ako nagkaroon ng tamang desisyon?

"What about our dinner tonight? Look, matagal din nating hindi nakasama si Hanselle, ngayon lang tayo ulit nabuo ng ganito. Holly baby, maybe Ion could understand…" Lumambing ang boses ni Mamang nang bumaling siya kay Holly.

Nakita kong napa-iling si Daddy dahil panigurado, nahahati na naman siya sa dalawa at hindi malaman kung sino ang sasang-ayunan sa mga ito. Nang nilingon ko si Holly ay nahuli ko siyang nakatitig sa akin. Ganoon din si Kuya.

Uhh, were they waiting for something I would do?

Ibinalik ko kay Mamang ang tingin ko, sinasaway niya si Papang sa panlalambing nito. They looked happy. Makakaya ko bang palitan ng galit at dismaya ang kasiyahan sa mga mukha nila? Could I afford to ruin this little reunion? Alam ko naman ang sagot e. Why would I need to question myself that if all that mattered now was my daughter?

Questioning myself all over again wouldn't change the fact that I had decided. Ipapakilala ko si Eve sa kanila, ipapakilala ko ang anak ko sa kanila para malaman nilang may apo sila sa akin.

"Ah, Pang, Mang, maybe a dinner at home is more convenient. Para naman maimbitahan din ni Holly si Ion, isa pa, my friends are with me too," sabi ko sa gitna ng paglalambingan ng mga magulang ko. I even saw Kuya Haynes nod at me as if showing me that I was doing the right thing.

"Great! It's still four anyway! Yayayain ko si Ion na sa bahay na mag-dinner pagkahatid niya sa akin! Mang, I'm sure, Ate Hanselle will cook!" tuwang-tuwang sabi ni Holly saka pumulupot sa kanang braso ko.

"Hanselle can only cook an overcooked Carbonara, Holly. Nandoon naman si Evah, I'm sure she's willing to cook us her specialty." Nahimigan ko ng humour ang boses ni Kuya Haynes kaya matalim ko siyang binalingan.

Fine! I did try but cooking wasn't just for me, kitchen would always be a battlefield for me. Kaya nga iniiwasan ko ang kusina sa Eve's dahil kinaiinggitan ko ang galing sa kusina ng mga kitchen staffs namin. And I would always ask myself why I lacked such skill?

"Nasa bahay ang mga kaibigan mo, Hanselle? Why didn't you tell us? I hope you opened the guest room for them," sabat ni Mamang sa banayad na tinig.

"Ate Evah's here in the Philippines? What about Ate Aly and Ate Em?!" gulat ang mga matang tanong ni Holly sa akin.

"They're here," mahina kong sagot at pasimpleng nag-iwas ng tingin para ituon kay Kuya ang mga mata ko.

Bahagya lang siyang yumuko. Ever since, Kuya Haynes had declared that he was with me through this battle. Na hindi niya ako iiwan at mananatili siya sa tabi ko. At may tiwala ako sa kaniya.

Napapayag namin si Mamang na sa bahay na mag-dinner. Mukhang wala naman siyang plano ngayon, nadala lang siya ng kasiyahan kaya't naisipan nilang magyayang kumain sa labas. Being as hospitable as she was, my mother warmly welcomed the visitors. At habang nangyayari ang pagbati nina Mamang at Papang sa mga bisita ay pasimple kong hinanap si Eve. Nang magtama ang mga mata namin ni Evah na binibeso si Holly…

"Sleeping," she mouthed at me, because I couldn't find my daughter.

Sa terrace sa second floor nadako ang mga mata ko. Mula rito sa sala ay hindi nakikita ang mga pinto ng mga silid sa itaas pero siguradong nasa kuwarto na siya.

"Ate Em! Omg, let's have a selfie! Alam mo bang crush na crush ka ng mga katrabaho ko? Kahit ang editorial manager namin ay ikaw ang desktop wallpaper!" I heard my sister say to Em with utmost giddiness.

Bumuntong-hininga ako saka ko inilayo sa teresa ang paningin ko at itinoon sa masayang batian ng mga magulang ko at mga kaibigan ko. This was the very first time my parents personally met my friends. Kilala nila ang mga ito dahil bukod sa madalas kong ikuwento ang tungkol sa mga ito ay interesado rin ang mga magulang ko noon sa ideya ng pagkakasangkot ko sa isang business.

"That what I'm saying. We don't need to convince her to study business 'cause she has the blood of it," said Papang when I finally told them about Eve's since we were planning to have a branch extension here in the Philippines.

Two years after the first establishment of the main branch, we had decided to build a new branch. Masyadong mang mabilis dahil dalawang taon pa lang ang Eve's ngunit masyadong risk taker ang big boss ng Eve's lalo na at ang pag-unlad ng Eve's ang mas concern ni Evah, money wasn't actually a hindrance…

"Would you want Montecarlos to invest in your business, Hanse—"

"Oh no, Mang! The reason why it took me this long to say this. Ayaw ko pong manghimasok kayo o ang Montecarlos. Please, I'm not alone with this. I have my friends. Just trust me, okay?" Pinutol ko ang sinasabi ni Mamang dahil inasahan ko nang sasabihin niya iyan.

Of course, kailan ba nila ako pinagkatiwalaan ng buo? They couldn't just trust me enough.

Sobrang saya nila noong mga panahong iyon.

"Did you have a tour around the house already?" tanong ni Mamang sa mga kaibigan ko. Si Papang ay nasulyapan kong pasimpleng hinila si Kuya Haynes patungo sa hallway pa-kitchen. Mag-uusap ang mga iyon ng tungkol sa business panigurado o sa kung anumang kasong hawak nila ngayon.

"Ah, yes. The house is big and nice. I like the ambiance at the tea house near the garden, I hope we can have a tea-party there one of these days," nakangiting sagot ni Evah. Napapagitnaan siya nina Aly at ni Em na kababalik lang mula sa pakikipagkamustahan sa kapatid ko.

I smiled when Evah turned to me and sweet smiled at me. Of course, magugustuhan ni Evah ang tea house sa garden dahil bukod sa sariwa ang hanging doon at maganda ang tanawin dahil sa ilang forget-me-nots na nakatanim roon at ilan pang mga bulaklak, mahilig din siya sa mga tahimik na ambiance habang nag-ti-tea… so Evah style.

"Oh sure, hija, feel at home and enjoy your stay here." My mother smiled widely because someone admired her favorite spot here in the house.

Forget-me-nots flowers were my contribution on the garden but she loved to plant different flowers too. Siya rin ang nag-introduce sa akin ng forget-me-nots noon.

Nang magpaalam si Mamang na aakyat muna sa kuwarto para magpahinga ay napansin ko agad ang pagbabago ng atmospera sa pagitan naming magkakaibigan na kahit ang masigla at matinis na boses ni Holly ay nawawalan ng silbi.

"Crap, Ion's looking for me already! I'll leave you first, okay? Enjoy!" Tumalilis paalis si Holly nang tumunog ang phone niya. Nakalimutan niyang may lakad sila ng boyfriend niya dahil nadala siya ng pakikipag-usap sa mga kaibigan ko.

Pambihira. Kanina lang ay iginiit niya kay Mamang na dito sa bahay mag-di-dinner dahil may lakad sila ni Ion. Holly was now a freelance Photographer and she was a layout artist in a magazine company. And well, a shareholder of Montecarlos. Nakilala niya ang boyfriend niyang si Ion sa mismong kumpanyang pinagtatrabahuan niya dahil isa itong photographer doon, I even heard from her that her boyfriend was the son of the CEO.

Na-meet na namin ito dahil bago mag-decide si Holly na sagutin ito ay ipinakilala niya muna ito sa amin. I could still remember how my father and my brother had grilled the poor guy before finally realizing and accepting that their princess Holly wasn't stupid to choose a thug.

Mabait kasi si Ion at ramdam namin ang sincerity nito kay Holly.

"Hanselle, I just hope whatever happens, Chan won't get affected—"

"Em, she's involved. As much as we all want to protect her from all this, we know that it's inevitable. She's actually the point of all these," putol ni Evah kay Em.

"I feel bad for my baby," malungkot na sabi ni Aly.

Gusto kong maiyak. They just loved my daughter so much. I knew that even after everything, that whatever might happen, these people would always be there for my daughter.

"I'm doing this for her. How can I give her the world, if I couldn't even give her my family?" saad ko.

Suminghot si Em at agad na yumakap kay Evah. That was normal. Pregnant women tend to be really over emotional. Lalo na at napapansin kong extra attached siya kay Eve nitong mga nakaraang araw. Hindi na rin ako masusurpresa kung si Eve ang pinaglilihian niya.

Si Aly ang tumayo at lumapit sa akin para hawakan ang kamay ko. She smiled sadly at me that gave me another bits of courage.

"Matatangap nila si Chan. No one can resist her, you know that. She's an angel."

Of course, Of course my daughter was lovable. She deserved all the love she could get in this world.

Nagpasalamat ako sa kanila na nandito sila, na kahit hindi masyadong maayos ang estado ng pagkakaibigan namin ngayon, nandito pa rin sila at hindi ako iniiwan.

Lumabas si Papang at Kuya Haynes mula sa kitchen na nagtatawanan at nang mapansin nila kami ay agad silang nagtungo sa amin. Nagpaalam si Kuya na aakyatin ang mag-ina niya kaya naiwan si Papang na kinakamusta ang mga kaibigan ko.

"So, who's the boss? I'm thinking of investing—"

"Pang!" natatawang saway ko dahil nahuhulaan ko na ang tinatakbo ng utak niya ngayon.

Business. Business. Business. Hindi nga ba't noon pa lang ay gusto na niyang makilala ang mga kaibigan ko dahil tuwang-tuwa siya sa mga ito sa paghimok sa aking makisali sa negosyo?

"Why? My law firm needs a cateri—"

"Pang, I know what you're trying to do." Umirap ako dahil halata namang sinusubukan niya kung bibigay ako sa indirect niyang paraan ng pagbibigay ng tulong dahil alam niyang hindi ako papayag.

"Well, I just thought you're opened for investors…" Nagkibit-balikat si Papang.

"Actually, tumatanggap po kami ng investors. We can talk it out po over dinner," sabat ni Evah na ikinalaglag ng panga ko. Nang nilingon ko si Papang ay malapad itong nakangisi at amaze na nakatingin kay Evah.

Bakit ko nga ba nakalimutang may sapi ng kung sinong business enthusiast at advocate ang babaeng ito? Of course, hindi niya iyan tatanggihan, not for the money but for the chance of getting known, for a more better development. Puwede ngang maging mag-business partner sina Papang at Evah, pareho ang takbo ng mga utak.

"Good! That's good! How I wish Hanselle thinks the way you think too, hija…" my father giddily told Evah that the latter just happily nodded.

Nasa kalagitnaan kami ng pag-uusap nang makarinig kami ng mumunting mga yapak mula sa grand staircase na nasa gilid lang ng living room. My heart immediately sank down my stomach when I saw my daughter walking down, blinking in confusion as she roamed her eyes around us.

"Mommy…" she uttered softly when she found my eyes.