i miss them 😢

SPECIAL CHAPTER

I had always known that Bien might be gone from my life, he might choose not to have to do anything with me anymore, I knew for sure, he wouldn't choose to be gone from my daughter's life. Kung ako ang pipiliin, hindi ko rin naman gustong tuluyan na siyang umalis sa buhay ko pero sa lahat ng mga nagawa ko sa kaniya, ang hayaan siyang lumayo na lang ang tanging magagawa ko para sa kaniya.

Hindi ko ipagdadamot sa kaniya ang mag-move on dahil siya ang tumulong sa akin noon para maka-move on kay Jimin. He was there, he was beside me so it was easy for me. Aaminin ko rin na masyado akong naging makasarili. It was so hard for me to let him go before because I was afraid to lose him, I was afraid to lose someone without the guarantee of Jimin.

I had used Bien as a filler because I didn't have Jimin. Naging masyado rin akong kampante noon. While pushing Jimin away, I knew, with keeping Bien with me, I had hurt them both. I had hurt Bien by holding onto him when clearly, it was still Jimin. I had hurt Jimin by pushing him away when clearly, I still loved him so much.

It also wasn't easy and good to reflect and have those realization knock on me. I was mad at myself for hurting those two precious men just because I was both a coward and an immature.

I would understand if Bien would choose not to ever twist his life with me again or with my daughter so it seriously surprised me seeing him now happily talking with my daughter.

Smiling warmly, I silently watched from a fair and decent thread of distance as Bien and Eve sat across each other on a table inside the shop while the latter was speaking something, her pair of small eyes was twinkling in happiness and excitement as the man stared longingly at her. Nakakatawa ring isipin na noon ay hanggang baywang lang ni Bien si Eve pero ngayon ay hanggang dibdib na niya. It also pained me thinking about all the faint tantrums and loud cries of Eve when she was looking for Bien when she was still a kid.

Sa mga lumipas na panahon ay hindi naging madali para kay Eve na sanayin ang sarili niyang wala si Bien. The first years were easy because she was occupied by her father's attention all to her but when she had gotten used to it already, she had started asking me about Bien, about why the kind man wasn't visiting her anymore. Her young and innocent mind was too hard to handle before, she couldn't be educated with anything but Bien's comeback.

Ilang beses naming sinubukang kontakin noon ni Jimin si Bien para lang maka-usap siya pero nagpalit na yata siya ng number. We had asked him from his friends but none of them had known his whereabouts. It had gone like that for a long time, long years, along with a growing Eve until she had fully understood that her Tito Bien had his own life and that he had also needed to find where he should be happy.

"Uncle Key and Uncle Sean once visited me at school, Mommy, and they told me Tito Bien might come to me one day..."

She had somehow learned how to wait till Bien came to her himself. Alam kong umaasa siyang magkikita pa sila ni Bien, at kung mangyayari man iyon, sana ay masaya na si Bien.

I had to deeply utter a deep sigh when I felt my heart clench upon seeing Bien raise his hands to cup my daughter's face. Eve just giggled happily on her seat. She was already in her first year in highschool, still so pretty with her long curly hair and fair complexion. Her pair of small eyes was missing for every stretch of her plump lips and her cheekbones were showing.

She, indeed, had grown into a very beautiful and charming lady. Manang-mana sa Daddy niya, she even got her father's vocal talent. Madalas ay kantahan ang bonding nilang dalawa na palagi akong napag-iiwanan dahil hindi ako makasabay.

Nakakatuwa ring kahit na ang laki na ng pinagbago nilang dalawa, lalo na si Eve, ay nakikilala pa rin nila ang isa't isa. My daughter really had a sharp memory, how else could her young mind manage to preserve Bien's face features and still recognize him even after all those years? Ito malamang ang unang beses nilang pagkikita pagkatapos ng mga taong iyon!

Hindi ko na napigilang ang panunubig ng mga mata ko nang tumayo si Eve para yakapin si Bien. Nang tumawag sa akin si Eve kanina na dito ko siya sunduin ay hindi na ako nagtaka dahil madalas naman kaming lumalabas pagkagaling niya sa school. I would fetch her and we would stop by at some café so we would eat. Her father would be at the Bighit building working.

She really did know how to surprise me...

I just remained standing near the entrance, not sure if walking towards them and showing myself would be a good idea. It had been almost seven years since I had last seen Bien, since we had last seen each other. We didn't even have the proper parting, he had just left and no word or news about him anymore. Sure, I didn't know what to even say to him if I showed myself to them.

Tuluyan na akong naiyak nang mula sa kung saan ay may lumapit sa kanila. I had been hoping for Bien's happiness, I had been hoping for him to find someone who was more than worth of his love and all of him, I had been hoping for him to find his beautiful reality that he had failed to see from me and now that I was watching him converse happily and lovingly at the new arrived beautiful lady holding a very small baby girl in her other hand, I knew my wish had been granted.

Pinanood ko nang hinalikan ni Bien ang babae saka siya dumuko para buhatin ang bata. He also peppered the kid's face with his kisses before once again turning to look at my daughter who stood stunned also watching everything unfold in front of her eyes. Hindi ko alam kung anong pinag-uusapan nila pero mukhang ipinapakilala ni Bien ang mga bagong dating kay Eve.

Slowly, a sweet smile appeared into my daughter's lips before giving the kid a friendly wave. Bilang sagot ay kumaway rin ang bata na nagpatawa sa kanilang tatlo. It was such a very beautiful reality taking place right in front of my eyes, and I couldn't help but admire. I couldn't help but admire... and thank God for it.

I was happy I had let Bien go, because our realities weren't tangled with each other, our realities were tangled with other people who deserved us more than we did into each other's lives. Hindi ako para kay Bien kasi para ako kay Jimin. Hindi para sa akin si Bien kasi para siya sa ibang babae.

Kung ipinilit namin ni Bien ang sa amin noon, hindi iyon magiging ganito kaganda.

"Mommy! Mommy, here!"

Too late to hide, when meeting my daughter's happy smile, I smiled back and decided to once again meet Bien after a long time. As Bien turned to look at me, my heart swelled in joy and comfort when he gave me a familiar comforting smile... indicating how we were both could be into each other's life, finally.

No hard feelings anymore.