Chapter Twenty-four

Again.

As the last day of the two-day off that their manager had given them, they chose to just crowd in their house and live with it, doing particularly nothing but just purely messing with each other. I kind of felt a bit of sympathy toward them. Hindi ko iyon gustong maramdaman. I just couldn't stop myself from feeling it since I could see how their lives were different from being normal.

If other people were out, going to many attractions here in Seoul. Ito sila, the Bulletproof chose to be imprisoned in their house. Imprisoned was kind of the perfect term kahit pa na sabihin nating wala naman silang choice. Whether they liked it or not, they were not allowed to go out because they were all public figures. Hindi sila puwedeng mamasyal. Ang lungkot lang. They couldn't walk freely outside. They couldn't go to places they liked considering they had something to protect.

"Jungkook-ah! Just let me try it!" I heard Taehyung's loud and deep voice while I silently sat on the couch as JK appeared in front of me running, tailing after him was Taehyung who badly wanted to try what Jungkook had been playing.

"I found this first!" Jungkook said, still running from Taehyung and holding my Polaroid camera tightly as if the latter would be able to take it away from him.

Simula nang dumating kahapon si Taehyung from his Saxophone lesson ay hawak na ni Jungkook ang Polaroid ko at hindi na niya binitawan iyon. It was like he was being amazed of it all over again. Noong una ay hindi siya pinapansin ni Taehyung but when Jungkook told Taehyung that I owned the thing their game started.

Habulan.

Ilang beses ko na ring na-refill iyon dahil halos lahat yata ng makita ni Jungkook ay kinukuhanan niya. I just didn't know where he had been putting all the developed photos. Kahit nang nag-di-dinner kami kagabi ay panay pa rin ang kuha niya ng litrato, tipong egg roll lang na ginawa ni Jin ay hindi niya pinalagpas. Nasaway pa nga siya ni Yoongi na hindi naman niya masyadong pinansin. Take that from the spoiled youngest.

"Jin, when was the last time your laundromat came?" I asked Jin after checking the pileup of unwashed clothes in their laundry basket under the sink. Tambak na rin kasi ang mga labahan ko kaya kailangan ko nang magpa-laundry. There were still dresses on my closet, the ones Jimin brought me but of course, heaven would flip first before I used them.

Nahinto siya sa paghihiwa ng mga sangkap at nilingon ako. He wore a pink apron—with his bulk and broad shoulder—and a pair of pink cooking gloves. He was really practicing a good husband material… sobrang dami niyang kayang gawin dito sa kusina. He was an actual ideal guy, that guy whom so many girls are crushing on.

"We do our laundry, Misseu," simpleng sagot niya na nagpanganga sa akin.

"Seriously?!" I asked, stunned. Mas nakakagulat pa yatang malaman na naglalaba sila gayong dapat na pinagsisilbihan lang sila kaysa ang malaman na hindi naglalaba ang isang tulad ko.

He went back to slicing the ingredients after nodding at me. He was cooking for our lunch. Nalaman kong si Jin lang ang natatanging miyembro na may full access dito sa kusina. Other member could brew coffees here but other than that were Jin's privilege.

"Yes. We have schedule for it. Why?" he asked this time but not looking at me.

I bit my lower lip as I struggled whether to tell him or not about how I didn't do laundry. For a man like him, wasn't it too embarrassing to say if I didn't do laundering? I hadn't even tried. Baka isipin niya napaka-arte ko. Ang dami ko na kasing naipakitang kaartehan sa kanila. Kaartehang hindi naman tumutugma sa isang normal na babaeng katulad ko. But what could I do? That was me. That was how I was. That was how I survived in this cruel world. That was how I was born. Lalo na at hindi naman ako hinayaan ni Mamang na gawin ang mga gawaing bahay dahil may gumagawa naman ng mga iyon para sa amin.

My family was included in the Alta-society, sadly. Mga mayayamang pamilya na madalas magkakasama sa mga gatherings and elite parties. Plus, Montecarlos Industries and Conglomerates, the corporation that my mother owned was partnering with other big corporations, while my father owned a law firm and was catering great and high-end lawyers around the Philippines.

"N-Nothing," utal kong sagot at tumalikod na. I was about to sprint out the kitchen when he softly called me.

"Misseu…"

Lumingon ako. "Yes?"

"What is your real name?" he asked, scratching the back of his head, trying to hide his shy smile.

I chuckled because it took him long enough to ask me that but nevertheless I answered kindly, "It's Hanselle."

"Hanselle-ssi~! Hanselle-ssi…"

Pinandilatan ko si Jin na kanina pa nagha-hum gamit ang pangalan ko. With his getup, pink apron and cooking gloves, he sure was enjoying his cooking. Tinutulungan ko siyang maghanda ng lunch dahil wala naman akong ginagawa.

"Hanselle-ssi~ Hanseeelle-ssiii~!" he teasingly sang with a hint of playfulness. Kinakanta niya ang pangalan ko gamit ang isa sa mga kanta nila.

I sighed as I rolled my eyes. Tinanong niya ba ang pangalan ko para lang pagkatuwaan ng ganyan? At nag-e-enjoy talaga siya ah!

Nang matapos siyang magluto ay tinulungan ko rin siyang maghanda. We then called the boys for the lunch. They happily thanked Jin for preparing the foods. I bet, they could live and survive without their manager. May tagaluto sila at kaya nilang labhan ang mga damit nila. They could hire cleaners to clean their house.

"Hanselle-ssi, have more of the bulgogi," Jin told me half smiling while wriggling his eyebrows.  He was teasing me again! He gently drew near me the bowl of what he called 'bulgogi'. It was a dish of Korean beef with.

Nahinto ang lahat sa pagkain. They all turned to Jin and then to me. Gulat ang mga matang nilang nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin sa amin ni Jin na ngayon ay mukhang patay-malisya lang.

I mentally face palmed. Seriously, Jin?! Parang wala namang nangyaring nagpatuloy lang ang loko sa pagkain, ignoring at all that he just got everyone's attention and just put me in a very awkward situation.

"Noona, is that your name?]" Jungkook broke the deafening silence. Nilingon ko siya na nasa harap ko lang. His pair of doe eyes stared confusedly at me, kitang-kita ang kulay tsokolate niyang mga mata dahil sa panlalalaki ng mga ito.

I didn't understand what he said, seriously, for the nth time!

This time, nasa kaniya naman ang lahat ng atensyon, maging si Jin.  And then suddenly, they all chorused…

"NOONA?!"

Except of course from Jungkook.

Uhh, it was even more, hundred times awkward.

"Are you a noona?" Jimin broke the awkward situation this time. Malambot ang tinig niya at nang nilingon ko siya ay nakatitig siya sa akin gamit ang mga malalamlam niyang singkit na mga mata. Bahagyang naka-awang ang mga labi dahil sa pagtigil sa pagnguya ng pagkaing nasa bibig niya.

They were cussing at me again. Again.

I smiled hesitantly as I felt my cheeks heat up. "English only please," I said in a low voice.

"Are you a noona?" Jimin asked, blinking his pair of small eyes now. Mukhang iyon din ang gustong itanong ng iba pa dahil tumango-tango sila matapos ang katanungang iyon.

Gusto kong isagot na, oo, Noona ako pero para kay Jungkook lang dahil mas matanda ako ng ilang buwan sa bunso nila since I was born in February of 1997 while Jungkook was born in September of 1997.

"I'm…" Pinaglaruan ko ang kanin ko gamit ang kutsarang hawak ko. "I'm twenty now," I spilled very slowly.

They all nodded in unison while Jimin grinned. He playfully licked his lips that leaped my heart. Mayamaya ay yumuko siya habang nangingiti pa rin kaya nang muli siyang mag-angat ng tingin sa akin, ikinulong niya ang mga mata ko sa malalalim at expressive niyang mga mata, not knowing at all that he just locked my heart with it.

Crap! What was that?!

"So that makes me your… oppa." He teased, despite of his mocking tone, his smile didn't hide his shyness, it was overflowing.

"I think you should call us oppa," RM said when we finished eating.

I helplessly slouched in my seat. They all stared intently at me. Para akong criminal na iniimbestigahan sa loob ng recording room. They really like to put me into an awkward situation like this and they didn't even know that!

"Uh…" I uttered. Pinigilan ko ang pagkagat ko sa ibabang labi ko kaya nauwi ito sa pagpu-purse. I didn't like giving and calling names to people actually. I had known them by their names and there was no way I would change that.

At saka, 'oppa' was kind of malicious for me. Well, kahit naman noon pa, kapag may ibang fan girls na tumatawag sa mga idols na 'oppa', iba ang dating sa akin. Ginagamit kasi ang 'oppa' ng mga babaeng kapatid at mga girlfriends. And I was not their sister. At mas lalong hindi girlfriend.

I wished!

Dumako kay Taehyung ang tingin ko na kanina pa tahimik. He was pouting at me. Para bang sinasabi niyang hindi niya inaasahan ito. Alam ko na noon pa na mas matanda sa akin si Tan at lahat sila maliban lang kay Jungkook pero gustong-gusto ko kung paano ako tratuhin ni Taehyung. He was like a little brother for me.

"You are the new baby of the group," ani Jin sa pinaka-casual na tono na para bang normal lang iyong sinabi niya.

Nanlalaki ang mga mata ko saka pinaglipat-lipat ang tingin sa kanilang lahat. B-Baby? My hand automatically fisted in ball under the table as my heart started to pound hard and quick. I mentally laughed, a sarcastic one.

Till how far would fate go just to play with my life? This was more than just a twist. Hindi lang yata ang mundo ko ang gustong paikutin ng tadhana kung hindi ako mismo. I felt nauseous all of a sudden.

"Baby girl!" J-Hope beamed, his lips were forming a big shape of heart from how they way he was smiling while his pair of small eyes were missing.

"And I'm the baby boy!" Jungkook enthusiastically added.

All members glared at him, including me. He confusedly knotted his forehead as if asking what he did wrong this time.

"You're turning twenty-one this September, Jungkook-ah. You're no longer a kid," RM told Jungkook, still glaring at him.

Totoo pa lang may Korean age silang sinusunod. Originally, nineteen pa lang si Jungkook ngayon at magtu-turn twenty this September, that was why I was a noona for him. I had just turned twenty last month, February. Hindi kasi ako inabot ng K-12 Educational System sa Pilipinas kaya nineteen ako grumaduate ng college.

Mas matanda ako kay Jungkook ng ilang buwan. So supposedly, nineteen pa lang si Jungkook talaga, that was if they were following the normal age cycle, but since Korean age cycle nga ang sinusunod nila. Twenty na si Jungkook ngayon at magtu-turn twenty one na sa darating na September.

Ngumuso si Jungkook saka ako binalingan. He was the youngest after all. Kumbaga siya ang baby of the group though it wasn't obvious because of his physical appearance pero bata pa talaga si Jungkook. He only had a body of a man and a mind of a kid.

At sinong may sabing may balak akong agawin sa kaniya ang trono niyang iyon? Wala akong balak na mas laliman pa ang relasyon ko sa kanila. I didn't want to get hurt in the end because just like what I always reminded myself, this wasn't permanent. All of this had ending.

"A-Ah… uh, I think I prefer calling you the way I used to," I said after I gave Jungkook a small smile.

They all groaned in protest at me but I just shrugged my shoulder. I was avoiding deeper interaction with them but I couldn't expect them to cooperate. Hindi ako sigurado kung totoo man lahat ng mga ipinapakita nilang ito. Nevertheless, I was happy. Being in my shoes is what all fans would be hoping for.

Nang mawala ang usapan namin tungkol sa kagustuhan nilang tawagin ko silang 'oppa' na hindi naman nila napagtagumpayan ay nagpaalam silang lahat sa akin—not that they needed to though—na mayroon silang English class ngayon.

"English class?" takang tanong ko matapos iyon sabihin sa akin ni RM habang inaayos ko ang mga labahin kong dadalhin ko sa laundry shop mamaya. Isasama ko na rin ang mga labahan nila.

"Yes, we've been attending an English class. Actually, I'm glad that they're now willing to learn English when I was having a hard time convincing them before," sagot niya.

Sometimes, you just had to check your heart if it was still intact with your body. Sa lagay ko kasi, pakiramdam ko, nakikita kong nagtatalon ang puso ko sa tuwa sa harap ko. They might not tell me, I was having a hunch as to why they were all learning English now.

And could I really let myself indulge into this beautiful dream when I knew, in time, I would have to wake up and live in the actual reality?

Ngumiwi ako. Crap, ngayon pa talaga ito mangyayari? Dito pa talaga?! I slowly clutched the lower part of my stomach. I thought, I was having dysmenorrhoea. Nararamdaman ko na ang pamimigat ng puson ko kaninang hapon pero hindi ko ito pinansin dahil naging abala din ako sa mga labahin ko. Bakit ko ba nakalimutang buwanan ang dating nito?

I had extras so putting safety wasn't a problem.

Nilingon ko ang bedside table. From the pink round clock, I saw the little hand striking in between numbers 8 and 9. Nalaman kong dumating na ito kaninang nagsa-shower ako. So hassle! Bumaluktot ako sa kama dahil sa pag-usbong na naman ng sakit. Pang-asar talaga itong dysmenorrhoea na ito e. Nandiyang mawawala siya tapos sobrang sakit naman pagbumalik.

Gosh, why did girls need to suffer this kind of pain?!

I remembered my mother giving me pills to take when I was having dysmenorrhoea. Effective iyon dahil nawawala ang sakit. I couldn't follow the sleep method since I couldn't sleep due to so much pain. Pumikit ako at mas lalo pang pinisil ang puson ko.

Oh my, Mang!

Gusto kong maiyak sa sobrang sakit. My toes stiffened as my abdomen painfully cramped again. Kahit na air-conditioned ang buong kuwarto ay ramdam na ramdam ko ang malalamig na pawis na namumuo sa noo ko.

Seconds later, I found myself silently sobbing. Nakapikit ako pero basang-basa ang pisngi ko ng mga luha. I could only call for my mother in this kind of situation. Kahit noong mga panahong nag-aaral pa ako at nasa dorm na ako, when this kind of situation occurred, I would only press my mother's number and she was already taking good care of me.

Minsan nga naisip ko, siguro hindi iyong pills yung remedy ko kung hindi iyong comfort ni Mamang. Iyong palagay ang loob ko na kahit sobrang sakit, nandiyan siya sa tabi tapos hawak iyong kamay ko.

"M-Mang…" A sob managed to escape my mouth. Agad kong tinakpan ang bibig ko para hindi na muling makalikha ng ingay. My sobs left in my mouth.

I… I hope my mother's here. I silently wished.

I again cried when the pain struck again. Basa na ng pinaghalong pawis at luha ang puting unan ko and I could only care less because it freaking hurt!

A knock on the door startled me.

"Misseu?" I heard Jimin's voice from the outside.

Dumating sila kanina galing sa English class nila bago ang dinner. I really wanted to hear his voice but not when I was like this. Not when I was hating being a woman because of the pain.

Imbis na sumagot ay hinila ko pataas ang comforter at itinaklob sa sarili ko. Mas lalo pa ako ng bumaluktot. God, take this pain away please. I can't handle this!

"Misseu? Sleeping?" Narinig kong muli ang boses ni Jimin kasabay nang muli kong paghikbi. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko dahil sa lakas ng hikbing namutawi sa bibig ko. My hand immediately flew to my mouth and held it tight.

Oh no, no, no!

"Misseu…?" Jimin asked from behind the door before I heard the doorknob being squeezed.

I stiffened. Crap… he couldn't see me like this. I didn't want them to see me in pain! But the more I wanted to move and get up, my body wouldn't just cooperate and my lower abdomen would just hurt more.

He then opened the door.