Chapter Sixteen

Natapos ang pakikipag-usap ko kay Mamang. I didn't say anything about what was happening to me right now, I just told her how I was doing and that I was fine to keep her sanity intact. Luckily, she didn't warn me about going here and dragging me back to the Philippines. Only that, she asked me to call constantly which I agreed that calmed her. Of course, kinamusta ko rin sina Papang pati iyong mga kapatid ko.

I had one younger sister and one older brother. I was a middle child, obviously.

"Y-Your mother… w-worried?" Jimin had the chance to ask me after the call with my mother.

I gently put my phone on the table and slowly turned to him. His small eyes stared shyly at me. Bahagya siyang nakayuko na tipong takot na takot makasalubong ang mga mata ko. Nakakatawa lang dahil ganoong-ganoon din ako tumitig sa kaniya. It was like he mirrored me, he equaled the emotions bursting within me. Yumuko ako para iwasan ang magaganda niyang mata na muling humihila sa akin pababa… pababa sa pagkakahulog, kung hindi pa ako hulog sa lagay na ito.

"Yes. I… I've made her worried to d-death," malungkot kong sabi sa kaniya sa nanginginig na tinig habang iniisip na hindi naman siya ganiyan noong una kaming nagkita. He had the most dangerous stare back then in the elevator as if he was all ready to rip me apart.

He slowly took a step towards me, cutting the little distance between us as he slowly raised his head, bravely meeting my eyes. I really didn't have to stretch my arm to reach him because he was just a foot away from me. Ironic when I knew how far of a star he was that even stretching my arms and stepping on a highest place wouldn't do, because he was just out of my league… just as I was out of his league.

We didn't live in the same universe, sad reality.

He stared down at me using those comfortable pair of small eyes since he was inches taller than me. Gone was the shyness and what was left were softness and fondness catered by his small expressive beautiful eyes. It drummed my heart and tickled my stomach again.

"I am s-sorry," mabagal niyang sabi.

I really couldn't blame him for all these or all of them because I wouldn't be here if not of those choices I stupidly chose and if not of those decisions I had bravely made.

Pinilit kong tatagan ang loob ko at buong tapang na tinitigan din pabalik ang mga mata niyang hindi na ata ako hahayaang maka-ahon pa mula sa pinakamalalim na pagkakahulog. I willed my mind to support my heart, longing for the only man it would forever desire.

"Y-Yeah…" Nagawa kong tumawa ng mahina kahit na nagkakagulo na sa loob ko. "So you s-should take good care of me while I'm here," I kidded nervously which I immediately tailed with a more softer chuckle just to lighten the atmosphere—or the feast that starting inside my heart because of our nearness.

He pouted and shyly laughed with me that dragged me to his untouchable world that was impossible for me to conquer before. Nagsasaya ang puso ko kasi iyong lalaking hinahangaan ko lang noon sa telebisyon at sa screen ng laptop at phone ko ay nandito sa harap ko at masayang tumatawa Kasama ko. He was laughing because of something I said.

What was happiest than this moment?

Huminto lang siya nang madako sa mesa ang tingin niya. He hardly bit his lower lip to stop himself from laughing but I could still see the smile that wanted to escape from those pink luscious plump lips, smile that he wished to hide.

I gulped hard. Crap, I couldn't possibly be desiring for those lips! Masyado na akong abuso kung maging ang mga iyon ay papangarapin ko pa gayong sobra-sobra na ang makita siya ngayon ng malapitan!

He shyly scratched the back of his head and he just literally moved my heart when his lower lip escaped from his teeth because of an untamed smile. He touched the softest of my heart when he finally broke into a very wide and sweet smile.

Park JM of Bulletproof was smiling widely at me. Nalaglag ata ang puso ko. He took a double attack on it and now I was smitten.

Kumunot ang noo ko dahil sa ikinikilos niya. I couldn't understand as to why he was acting so shy…? Nalaman ko lang nang dahan-dahang umangat ang kamay niya habang nangingiti pa rin at itinuro ang mesa, kung nasaan ko inilapag ang phone ko.

"My p-picture…" he just simply said, still acting so shy, finally having the chance to hide his shy eyes from my not so forgivable ones.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang mapagtanto ko ang ibig niyang sabihin at ang dahilan kung bakit mukhang hiyang-hiya siya. Instinctively, I hurriedly took my phone from the table and checked it. Pakiramdam ko halos lahat ng dugo ko sa katawan ay nagtungo na sa mukha ko, reaching one-hundred degree Celsius and it would explode. I clutched my phone near my chest as I firmly closed my eyes in humiliation.

JUST WHY DID I FORGET TO CHANGE MY WALLPAPER?! It was his freaking picture with his shining fluffy pink hair! Just a recent photo of him!

I loved making his pictures as the wallpaper of my phone. I didn't usually do this pero kasi natutuwa akong nakikita ang picture niya.

"I-It's okay for me…" In the middle of my humiliation, he managed to say those words.

Of course, it's fine for you since you're not the one who's humiliated! Crap, Jimin! Why you of all people?! Puwede namang iyong ibang members na lang…

Oy Hanselle, baka nakakalimutan mo? Kuwarto at kama niya ang gamit mo! My inner Goddess smirked at me.

Oh crap! And what if he checked my files too? Puro videos nila ang nasa gallery ko! Hindi lang iyon, may isang buong album si Jimin sa files ko na puro pictures niya ang laman!

AND AGAIN, WHY DIDN'T I PUT A PASSCODE COMBINATION?!

I didn't like putting passcode on my phone since ako lang naman ang humahawak nitong phone ko at madalas ay hindi ko natatandaan ang passcode and that must change! That must really change!

Hindi ako nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya dahil sa sobrang pag-iinit ng mukha ko dulot ng kahihiyan. And there was no way I would shamelessly show my face to him again after this! I would rather be buried deep down the ground!

"Misseu…?" He nudged innocently at me. Umatras ako habang nananatiling nakapikit. I couldn't watch him looking at my shameless face!

Oh please, Jimin. Makisama ka naman. I can't really show my face to you or even see your face. Wala akong mukhang maihaharap sa'yo!

I slightly opened my eyes only to see those cute toes peeking from his blue house slippers. Dead end! Even his toes were worth falling for. So precious! Yakap-yakap ko pa rin ang kamay kong hawak ang phone ko sa takot na muli niyang makita iyon. Kumalabog ang dibdib ko nang makita kong humahakbang palapit sa akin ang mga paa niya.

W-What was he planning to do?!

Sinabayan ko ng dahan-dahang hakbang paatras ang bawat hakbang niya palapit. I only stopped when I felt both of his hands softly holding both of my arms. Humakbang pa siya ng isang beses bago siya huminto. I could really smell the mixture of sweet manly fragrance and a minty scent mixing on him.

My heart beat wildly at the contact of his hot and soft palm above my skin, as if wanting to get noticed when truthfully, I had been aching because of it.

"I will take good care of you… I promise. People will need to crash me first before they could even lay a hand on you," he said in Korean language before I felt something soft and slightly damp land on my forehead before he left, leaving me stunned and literally dumbfounded.

He disappeared in front of me, not knowing that he just started a turmoil inside my heart. It again ached my heart for the painful impossibility in between us.

Hinalikan niya ako. Hinalikan ako ni Jimin. And I guessed… I was slowly losing my sanity. At iyon ang dahilan kung bakit wala pa ring hinto sa mabilis na pagpintig ang puso ko. Ilang oras na ang nakalipas matapos ang pangyayaring iyon sa kusina pero hindi pa rin kumakalma ang puso.

I absentmindedly clutched my chest. It was beating at its best and it hurt. Sa sobrang bilis ay nasasaktan na ako. This wasn't healthy. Kahit ang puso ko ay alam kung ano ang makakasama para rito.

My heart was feasting but it was hurting at the same time.

I just sat on the edge of the bed still thinking about what happened in the kitchen earlier. Bakit niya ako hinalikan sa noo? At ano iyong sinabi niya? Sigurado akong hindi niya ako minura. My hand slowly went to my forehead to softly caress the part where he kissed me.

Up until now, I could still feel the softness of his lips on my forehead. I could still feel his hot breath fanned on my forehead. Even his palms that touched my arms.

Bakit?! Bakit nga kasi niya ako hinalikan sa noo?! I wouldn't believe it if he would say that he was starting to care for me because we both knew that wouldn't ever happen, there was just no way. Alam namin pareho kung bakit kami nandito sa sitwasyong ito. And if I knew, they were all too eager to send me away just to bring their lives back on their right tracks.

Kaya hindi ko maintindihan!

"Misseu."

The track of my mind stopped when I heard that baritone voice. I immediately took my hand away from my forehead as I raised a gaze. Sa harap ko, nakatayo si Taehyung habang hawak sa magkabilang kamay ang dalawang klase ng buttoned down polo na nasa hanger. Isang plain white at isang black and red checkered. And since I had got branded clothes in my wardrobe, I recognized the clothes' brand.

They were Gucci. His favorite clothing brand.

He stared innocently at me, shortly stealing the chaos from my system brought by his best friend. His brown messy hair directed everywhere and his eyes were so deep yet so soft while staring back at me.

Kunot-noong nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya dahil wala pa rin siyang sinasabi at napaka-out of the blue na marinig ko siyang tawagin akong 'miss'. Okay na ba kami? I meant, he didn't like me, right?

He shyly pouted at my lack of reaction. Tumingin siya sa akin gamit ang mga mapupungay na mga mata habang pumipikit-pikit. Oh my, my heart was a soft enthusiast of cute stuff! And he was just so cute! Imbis na magsalita ay ipinakita niya sa akin ang mga damit na hawak niya. By that, I understood what he wanted. Gusto niyang pumili ako sa dalawa.

Hindi ko napigilan ang mga labi ko sa pagngiti habang naaalala ko kung gaano kalayo ang loob niya sa akin noong una naming pagkikita.

Gusto ba niyang ako ang pumili ng isusuot niya? He would seriously let me? For real? He wouldn't pick a fight? For real?

"Misseu," muli niyang tawag sa akin dahil sa tagal ko lang na nakatitig sa kaniya.

"I… I l-like the white one for you since I think it will make you look neat but then I p-prefer you wear the one that would make you feel comfortable," sagot ko sa kaniyang itinuro ang puting polo habang iniiwas sa kaniya ang tingin ko. This guy was just too handsome, like what people say, his face was too ethereal and very out of the world. I would strongly attest.

Nakangiti siyang tumango at lakad-talon na nagtungo sa banyo. Paglabas niya ay suot na niya ang siyang gusto kong isuot niya. Gaya ng inaasahan, bagay na bagay sa kaniya. Lahat naman ata ng isuot ng lalaking ito ay babagay sa kaniya. Nakangiti pa rin siya paglabas ng banyo. He quickly went in front of me and happily showed himself.

Nahawa tuloy ako ng rectangular smile niya. I chuckled carefree. "See? You look so handsome!" I told him, matter-of-factly, totally forgetting the awkwardness.

Mas lumapad ang ngiti niya. "Kumawo," sagot niya.

That touched my heart.

Si Taehyung ang pinakamalayo ang loob sa akin noong unang beses kaming magkita. He was always throwing harsh words to me before, and who would have thought that he would be smiling like this at me? It was like taming an aloof tiger.

Or was he just a cat pretending to be a tiger? Well, he was Kim Taehyung, maybe a little weird but very charming!

For a famous boy group worldwide, they sure had plenty of times to be just idling here in their house. Hindi ba ay puno dapat ang schedule nila at wala na dapat silang oras pa para manood ng TV habang nag-iinuman?

Seriously, BTS?! Hindi na ako magtataka kung isang araw sumugod na lang bigla rito ang manager niyo at pagdadakdakan kayo.

Sa sala nila, naka-upo ako sa long couch na nakaharap sa TV at tahimik na nanonood nang dumating si J-Hope at naupo sa tabi ko. He was talking to me crazily with his incorrect English grammar, unaware of the uncomfortable ambiance he had made me feel when RM came holding a stuffed toy and sat on my left side while busy with his phone, adding up to the awkward atmosphere.

Being surrounded by two of the BTS members, acting comfortably around me wasn't making me all sane.

Nag-away pa silang dalawa dahil pinipilit ni J-Hope na tingnan ang phone ni RM pero ayaw ng huli. Napapangiwi ako dahil pinagigitnaan nila ako pareho.

Not long ago when Jungkook came and sat on the single couch adjacent to our right. May dala siyang malaking chocolate chips na agad niyang inilagay sa mesa. J-Hope took some from it and tossed it all in his mouth. Rinig na rinig ko ang maingay niyang pagnguya.

Uh, now, dumagdag pa si Jungkook.

Naisip kong tumayo at umalis para bumalik sa kuwarto ngunit bago ko pa man magawa iyon ay binalingan na ako ni Jungkook.

"You want…?" he asked me, blinking his pair of chocolate bunny eyes while motioning the food on the table. Puno ang bibig niya ng pagkain pero ewan ko ba, ikina-guwapo niya pa iyon. For sure, if I took a photo of him right now and sent it to my sister, Holly, she would seriously freak out.

"S-Sure," sagot ko pero hindi ako kumuha at nagpatuloy na lang sa panonood kahit wala naman akong naiintindihan sa mga pinagsasabi ng mga bida sa telebisyon. Nawala na ang pagkakataon kong maka-alis dahil nahiya na ako.

Kumuha si RM sa dalang pagkain ni Jungkook habang busy pa rin siya sa phone niya samantalang nagsimula nang mag-usap sina Jungkook at J-Hope.

Don't ask me if how did I manage to act fine around them when deep inside me, I could feel my insides running a whole arcade, because I really didn't know. I just tried to cope up despite of the roller coaster ride I was feeling within me.

We all turned to Yoongi's room when the door bursted open. Iniluwa noon ang humihikab pang si Yoongi, halatang walang ibang ginawa kung hindi ang matulog lang. I felt even more worst, I felt like puking. Huwag naman sana siyang dumagdag pa rito.

"You have been sleeping again!" J-Hope loudly said, obviously speaking to the newcomer.

"What's our schedule for today?" Yoongi said, his pair of lazy eyes instantly finding mine. Mabilis siyang nag-iwas ng tingin ngunit nakita ko pa ang paglunok niya.

"Movie watching," Jungkook answered this time.

Yoongi scoffed out of the blue and sat on the single couch across Jungkook's seat, the single couch adjacent to our left and nearer to me. Tahimik din siyang nanood.

Yeah right, it's fine, Hanselle. Hayaan mong murahin ka lang nila ng murahin. Hindi mo naman naiintindihan e. Inosente ka. My inner Goddess told me.

Crap! Nang-aasar ba siya?! Bakit naman sa tabi ko pa siya naupo?! It wasn't comfortable!

Ngunit imbis na pansinin pa ang pag-aalburoto ng mga lamang-loob ko ay pinilit ko na lang talagang makisabay dahil wala naman akong magagawa. Akala ko ay tuluyan nang mapapalagay ang loob ko sa kanila… but it was not for long when Jimin appeared from the main door, holding a bag of something.

Agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin. Insanely, naalala ko na naman iyong ginawa niya sa kusina kanina. I couldn't help but feel my face heat up again. I slouched on the couch, hiding behind J-Hope's back from Jimin's sight.

That man! Alam kong pag-aari niya ang puso ko pero huwag naman sana niya akong binibigla ng ganoon!

Natuwa ang ibang miyembro nang malaman ang dala niya. He brought bottles of soju. Nagsisigawan sila and by the looks of it, they were praising Jimin for that. Pinagkaitan ba ang mga ito ng alak? At saka, paano nakabili si Jimin ng soju? Masama kung makikita siya ng mga tao!

Sumiksik si Jimin sa single couch na inuupuan ni Jungkook, nagkasya sila dahil malaki naman iyon at hindi naman sila malalaking tao. Just then, Taehyung appeared from J-Hope and Jungkook's room. He innocently looked around at nang mahanap niya ang mga mata ko ay matamis siyang ngumiti.

I thought for a while, I heard Angels singing beside my ear.

He walked towards us and joined us.

"Yah! You can sit beside Namjoon!" saway ni J-Hope kay Taehyung nang magpumilit itong sumiksik sa pagitan namin kaya bahagya akong umusog. Though, it wasn't enough. Dahil nasa pagitan nina J-Hope at RM ang mas maluwag na espasyo.

"Yah Hobi hyung, you can just move a little," Taehyung said pouting. Walang nagawa si J-Hope kung hindi ang umurong at hayaang maka-upo si Taehyung. Taehyung then smiled widely at me as he took a fistful from the chip on the table before stuffing it all in his mouth.

And to complete the BTS, Jin went out from the kitchen, wearing a pink apron and looking so messily hot. I meant, he was sweaty all over, don't get me wrong because I was still not over the half-naked Jimin.

"Lunch is ready!" sigaw niya at bahagya pa siyang nagulat nang makitang lahat kami ay nasa sala.

"Hey hyung, come here! Jiminie bought beers," J-Hope said.

And so, that was how we went to this setup, no, that was how I got stuck in this setup.

Nakaka-ilang bote na silang lahat pero mukhang mga maayos pa naman sila. Inalok ako kanina ni RM na mainom pero mukhang pinagdadamutan ako ng tatlo dahil sabay-sabay pa nilang sinaway si RM.

Taehyung, Yoongi and Jimin.

Isang baso lang naman e!

Kanina pa rin sila nag-uusap at mukhang ako lang yata ang nanonood. Nag-eenjoy kasi ako sa flow ng story kahit na hindi ko naiintindihan ang conversation. At feeling ko magkaka-stiff neck na ako dahil sa kanina ko pang pag-iwas na lumingon man lang sa direksyon nina Jimin.

I couldn't look at him! Nahihiya ako! Sinong hindi?! Hindi pa nga ako nakakabawi sa pagkapahiya ko sa pagkakita niya sa larawan niyang nasa wallpaper ko, which was by the way binago ko na, ay dinagdagan pa niya ng mas nakakahiya.

Bakit ba kasi niya ako hinalikan? Sa noo!

"Misseu!" Nagulat ako ng tawagin ako ni Taehyung. He was holding a piece of chip near my mouth.

I stared at him, blinking. "W-wha—" As I was just opening my mouth, he quick stuffed the chip into my mouth. He then smiled widely again, his boxy smile waving triumph.

Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang nguyain ang pagkaing nasa bibig ko.

"Yah!" Jimin shouted that startled me but I remained hiding behind Taehyung now since siya na ang katabi ko.

"Mwo?" Taehyung asked him innocently.

"Tss!" Jimin hissed. Padabog siyang tumayo at naglakad patungo sa kuwarto nila ni Taehyung, na kuwarto ko muna sa ngayon.

J-Hope then bursted out laughing na sinabayan nina RM at Jin. Si Taehyung ay nagtatakang pinanood lang ang mga kuya niyang nagtatawanan habang si Jungkook ay, well focus pa rin sa mga pagkain.

Nilingon ko si Yoongi para lang mag-iwas ng tingin nang makita kong nakatitig siya sa akin. What? Hindi pa rin ba niya ako napapatawad?

"I'm sorry if Jimin is acting that way. He's just thinking that anyone's stealing what he thinks is his," natatawang sabi sa akin ni RM, may multo pa rin ng ngiti ang mga labi dahilan para lumitaw ang malalim niyang biloy sa kaliwang pisngi niya.

Napa-isip ako dahil doon. Why would Jimin get mad at Taehyung? As if I was his possession—wait, WHAT?!

Nilingon ko si RM at kinindatan niya lang ako. Bumalik sa dati ang atmospera nang magbukas pa si J-Hope ng isang bote ng Soju. While I was left trying to calm my feasting heart as I turned to the closed door of Jimin and Taehyung's room where Jimin ran to.

Should I go after him?