Chapter Fifteen

"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ROOM?!"

Bago pa ako makapasok sa silid nina Taehyung at Jimin nang makarating kami sa bahay ay narinig ko na ang galit na boses ni Yoongi kaya napahinto ako sa mismong harap ng pinto ng silid. Sobrang lakas ng sigaw niya na dumagundong sa kabuuan ng bahay ang matinis niyang boses. I didn't know he had high-pitched voice.

Unti-unti akong pumihit paharap sa kuwarto niya para lang makita ang galit niyang mukha.

He quickly stomped out of his room, his harsh and heavy steps resounded around the house. Inilibot niya ang mga mata niya na tipong may hinahanap. When his eyes found mine, he marched towards me, very furiously. Pakiramdam ko, sa akin talaga naka-direkta ang galit niya.

Napako ako sa kinatatayuan ko. Ang galit niyang hitsura ay pinakaba ako ng sobra. His pair of small dark eyes stared directly at my frightened soul as I watched him sigh harshly, his shoulders moving up and down.

"Yoongi-ah, why are you shouting?" Jin said from somewhere the house but I couldn't look at him for I was too focused on the raging Yoongi approaching me. Napahinto rin ang iba sa kani-kanilang ginagawa at napatingin sa amin ni Yoongi, ang katahimikan ang siyang nagpatunay noon.

Napapikit ako nang tuluyan nang makalapit si Yoongi sa akin. I quickly slouched my shivering shoulders and waited for what he would do next but nothing came.  Unti-unti kong binuksan ang mga mata ko at nanginginig na nag-angat ng tingin. With my eyes half-opened and my lips hardly pursed, I saw his very serious yet again so lazy eyes staring down at me.

Bumuntong-hininga siya na tipong pigil na pigil na saktan ako. "Don't ever break into my room again," he dangerously told me in tightly pursed lips before turning around and going back to his room while I was left dumbfounded, my heart still drumming in fear and confusion.

Wala… wala akong naintindihan sa mga sinabi niya. What was that about? Bakit ganoon ang mga mata niya? Bakit nakakatakot ang boses niya? Inisip ko kung may nagawa ba akong mali sa kaniya at wala naman.

I had been so behave. Pero bakit parang handa na siyang saktan ako kanina?

"Hyung! You can't go near her and scare her like that!" sigaw ni Jimin sa nakapinid na pinto ng silid ni Yoongi habang dinuduro ito. He then marched towards me afterwards. "Gwaenchanh-a?" he asked, sounded so worried.

I tilted my head as I confusedly thought, why wouldn't I be? Thanked for the basic Korean speaking though. Nevertheless, a concerned Jimin was a lot more better than the raging Yoongi. It always left my heart pounding so hard than it ever was.

Oh, Jimin! Can you stop being illegal?!

I nodded. "Y-Yes," tanging sagot ko sa mahinang tinig.

He deeply sighed and instantly sweet smiled at me. Nilingon niyang muli ang kuwarto ni Yoongi at muli na namang sumigaw, "Hyung! Apologize to her!"

That gained once again a booming laughter from the other members, leaving Jimin pouting his lips and I, biting my lower lip as confusion bathed me.

What? They were laughing at me now?

"Yoongi hates it when someone's touching his things." Paulit-ulit na nagpe-play sa utak ko ang sinabing iyon ni RM.

Maybe, that was the reason why Yoongi got furious a while ago. Malamang ikanagalit niya ang nadatnan niya sa kuwarto niya at ako lang naman ang naiwan dito para maki-alam. I didn't know that having his room clean was a big deal for him.

"You have a habit of torturing yourself. You survived a day without eating," mabagal na wika ni Jin habang nililigpit niya ang mga pagkaing nasa mesa. The foods were all untouched and I suddenly felt sad for them. Sayang naman, hinanda pa naman nila iyon para sa akin.

Just how little the chance that I would get them prepare me foods? Not even a percentage.

"Ah you… you don't really n-need to do that. Let me." I tried to get the tray from him but he shook his head and continued what he was doing. Nahihiyang napabalik ako sa pagkaka-upo sa gilid ng kama ni Jimin.

"You relax there, Misseu," aniya sabay mahinang tumawa, almost inaudible. He could speak English but in a slow pace. Mukhang nangangapa pa rin siya habang si RM ay diretso sa pagsasalita ng English.

Don't mind the other members. They did try hard yet still failing miserably.

"But—" I attempted to speak but he just smiled sweetly at me as if telling me that it was fine, that he could do it alone. Hinayaan ko na lang siya sa gusto niyang mangyari kahit na sa loob-loob ko, hindi ako makapaniwalang nasa harap ko si Kim Seokjin ng BTS at nagliligpit ng mga pagkaing sinayang ko.

I seriously needed to get used to seeing each of them. Mahirap na palagi na lang akong kakabahan sa tuwing isa sa kanila ang kaharap ko, it was tiring to be honest.

"Anyway, sorry for leaving you here yesterday. Our manager called us for a sudden meeting…" aniya sa gitna ng pagpapatong ng dalawang tray sa pinakadulong tray.

I felt his hesitation to continue what he was saying. Ngumiti ako para ipakita sa kaniyang naiintindihan ko. Not that they were obliged to say to me whatever they did or wherever they went. Naiintindihan ko rin na ginagawa nila ang lahat para maisa-ayos ang gulo for the benefit of both sides.

That was why I was here. For them, this was the best solution though for me, I found this really weird. Hindi ba't mas mabuti kung magsasalita na ang isa sa amin at bibigyang linaw na ang lahat? Once and for all? People just needed answers, we had the answers so why prolonged it?

"I hope you are doing okay here…" Again, his hesitant was so obvious.

"Just barely kicking though," I kidded that I tailed with a chuckle.

He stopped for awhile then turned his head to me. He stared at me for a second before exploding into a very feminine but high-pitched laugh. Nakatakip ang isang kamay niya sa bibig niya at ang isang kamay ay hawak ang tray. No doubt why he was the mother of the group, his actions screamed femininity.

He laughed to his heart's contents, making me feel comfortable all over again.

It was so refreshing to have at least one member to laugh with. Jin wasn't so far to the Jin I often saw on their video clips. The feminine side he always had that he couldn't really hide. Really, ang guwapo-guwapo niya sa totoo lang, sa kanilang lahat, si Jin iyong mature iyong kaguwapuhan. Mahihiya ang salitang cute sa kaniya.

Huminto lang kami sa pagtawa nang biglang bumukas ang pinto at iniluwa si Jimin. Blood immediately rushed to my face and boiled up to degree Celsius when I saw him walking nonchalantly inside the room towards his closet.

Mabilis akong nag-iwas ng tingin. How could he show up with only his…? And in front of me?!

"Yah you idiot! You can't walk around anymore with only your pants on!" malakas na sigaw ni Jin kay Jimin na hindi ko naintindihan.

Malakas kong kinagat ang pang-ibabang labi ko na wala akong paki-alam kung magdudugo man ito at magkakasugat. It was just so hot in here so suddenly. May nagpahina yata ng air-conditioner. I clutched the chest side of the sweater I was wearing and used it to fan myself. It helped a little, just a little because I could still feel my face being grilled.

"O-oh, mianhaeyo!" Narinig kong putol-putol na sabi ni Jimin bago ako makarinig ng malalakas at mabibilis na yapak palayo maging ang pagsasara ng pinto. Just then, the room heated down.

Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na buntong-hininga. Madalas kong makita si Jimin na sumasayaw at ipinapakita ang ipinagmamalaki niyang packs of toned abs, pero iba pa rin talaga kapag hindi na sa screen lang. Just… just how did his body tone and improve like that?

Mukhang napansin ni Jin ang paghihirap kong iyon dahil narinig ko siyang tumawa ng mahina. Umangat ang tingin ko sa kaniya at muling uminit ang pisngi ko dahil sa ngisi niya.

"I'm sorry for that. We are not just used of a girl around the house," aniyang umaabot ang ngiti hanggang sa dulo ng mga mata niya. Nagpaalam na siya pagkatapos dala ang mga tray at aniya ay magluluto pa siya ng almusal kaya hinayaan ko na siyang muli akong iwan mag-isa sa loob ng kuwarto.

Right, they would be having late breakfast since it was past ten already.

Since when did I ever dream of sharing a table with BTS?

Ah, maybe since I had started being a fan of them. I had always dreamed of going to one of their high-touch in Manila and seeing them face to face, talking to them and giving gifts to them or at least, seeing them perform on stage at their concert.

Pinagmasdan ko ang mga bowl na nasa harap ko na may iba't ibang klase ng putahe kasama na ang bowl ng kanin ko. Also the chopsticks beside the bowl of rice. Hindi ko mapigilang bumuntong-hininga dahil sa dami ng mga naiisip kong adjustment na kailangan kong gawin kung magpapatuloy pa ako rito. And damn, I was literally seeing sea of bowls on the table and leaves, leaves and leaves!

Ever since I had got separated from my parents, I had never had anyone to share a table with in any hour of the meals. I would eat alone in some fast-food chain looking so lonely and isolated, or I would skip dinner occasionally for some reasons. So yes, aside from sharing a table with BTS, I kind of felt strange with this setup.

"She's not eating." Narinig kong bulong ni J-Hope sa kalagitnaan ng tahimik na hapag. Naka-upo siya sa tabi ni RM na katabi ko lang. They had been exchanging looks and I really felt out of place since the meal had started.

"Hyung! Ask her if she wants to eat!" Sinundan naman ito ni Jungkook na nasa harap ko, kanina pa siya actually nang-aagaw ng pagkain ng mas nakakatanda sa kaniya. He had lined up with Jimin, Taehyung and Yoongi in front of us… us, I meant J-Hope, RM, Jin and I.

They had started eating minutes ago. Pero ako, nanatili pa rin akong nakatitig sa mga pagkaing nasa mesa.

Right now, hindi ako nag-iinarte pero hindi kasi talaga ako kumakain ng gulay. That was the first problem I got since I sat here with them. Pangawala, I didn't know how to use chopsticks. K-Drama didn't influence me well with that thing. Lastly, how could I eat if I still couldn't digest the idea of me, here and sharing a table with them?

Just how lucky I was to be sitting here in this table with BTS? Lots of fans would be willing to exchange fates with me. So tell me, who would still have an appetite in this situation?

"She didn't eat yesterday. Hyung, she needs to eat!" Jimin cutely nagged at RM. Binitiwan niya ang mga chopsticks niya at nakangusong tumitig sa akin.

I gaped confusedly at him. Uh, ano na naman bang ginawa ko? He really couldn't stare at me like that after what he had done in his room an hour ago. Hindi pa rin bumabalik ang estado ng puso ko so he must lie-low.

"Fine, Jimin-ssi. Stop acting like her worried boyfriend," sagot ni RM at bumaling sa akin. Bago ko pa lingunin si RM ay nasulyapan ko pa ang panlalaki ng mga mata ni Jimin habang dahan-dahang dinadampot ang chopsticks niya. I even heard Taehyung snicker soundly.

"Miss, you still haven't touched your food," RM softly told me, still addressing me 'miss' since I hadn't yet told them my name and I didn't think they were even interested.

Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko gaya ng madalas kong gawin sa tuwing naiipit ako sa awkward na sitwasyon. Napansin pala niyang hindi pa ako kumakain. I was now stuck again between two opposite things. Telling the truth or constructing a lie.

Kaya ko ba talagang sabihin sa kanilang napakadami kong kaartehan sa katawan kaya hindi ko magawang kumain? Or should I just lie about how full I was since it was half true dahil kumain naman na ako kanina sa convenient store kanina?

"We saw her embracing foods at the side of the road earlier, I'm sure she's full," Yoongi said in the middle of the silence, didn't even bother to raise his head.

Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong bumaling sa kaniya dahil may kasalanan pa ako sa kaniya ngunit mula sa gilid ng mga mata ko ay nakikita kong nagpatuloy lang siya sa pagkain. Sa kanilang lahat, sa tingin ko ay si Yoongi iyong tipo ng taong hindi mo gugustuhing galitin. I just felt like he would only stray further if you didn't get his good side.

But was he cussing at me again? Hays, nai-stress na talaga ako. I couldn't understand any of their talks!

"But it was just a rice cake! She needs to eat since she didn't eat anything yesterday." Jimin still sounded so worried. Ayaw kong mag-isip ng kung ano pero dahil sadyang punong-puno ng ilusyon ang isipan ko, naga-assume tuloy akong baka para sa akin ang tono niyang iyon. I promised, the next time we would crowd like this, I would surely bring my phone for a translation.

"Tumigil ka, Hanselle. Ang pangarapin si JM ay wala sa listahan ngayon," mahinang bulong ng isip ko.

"Then convince her," Yoongi rudely told Jimin, as if picking a fight, finally raising his head and staring at darkly at Jimin.

"Yah, yah. Stop it. You can't fight in the middle of the meal." Finally, Jin interrupted causing the other members to second the motion.  Tumang-tango si J-Hope habang si Jungkook ay inabot ang braso ni Yoongi at marahang tinapik, ang bibig ay puno ng pagkain. Jimin just pursed his lips while Taehyung was just observing everything.

I was proud of myself for still having my sanity intact in the middle of these people. Wala talaga akong naiintindihan sa kanilang lahat. Hindi na ako magtataka kung isang araw, maging sarili ko ay hindi ko na rin maintindihan.

Tumayo si Jin matapos matahimik ng mesa kaya halos lahat kami ay napatingin sa kaniya. "I can cook egg rolls for you, can you wait?" he softly asked me.

Nanlalaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya. He couldn't be!

He just smiled considerately at me. "I will be back in a minute." And he left to the kitchen, leaving me speechless and the other members, confused.

Siya lang ang naka-intindi sa kaartehan ko.

Sinabi ko na, being their personal maid was way much better than being suspected as a girlfriend of any of them. Aaminin kong pinangarap kong maging girlfriend ni Jimin, but this was different. We were not really in a relationship and we would never be. There was just no way.

Hanggang pangarap na lang iyon.

Hindi ako napigilan ni RM nang paki-alaman ko ang mga hugasin dito sa kusina. Aniya ay mayroong cleaner na darating para maglinis dito, but I couldn't wait for that cleaner when I could do it myself.

Nang pinupunasan ko na ang mga natapos kong hugasin ay nakarinig ako ng yapak papasok ng kusina kaya agad akong lumingon para makita kung sino ito.

"Misseu…" The new comer hesitantly called me in a soft voice.

Pinagmasdan ko ang pink fluffy haired guy ng grupong BTS. Unti-unti nang nagpi-fade ang kulay ng buhok niya. I wondered what hair color would it be next?

"Your hand phone," he told me as he slowly stretched his arm to me. Sa kamay niya ay naroon ang phone kong tumutunog at umiilaw.

Agad kong ibinaba ang basahang hawak ko at dahan-dahang inabot ang phone ko, kahit na sa loob-loob ko ay nagkakagulo na dahil kaharap ko na naman siya. Masasanay pa ba ako?

Halos mabitawan ko ang phone ko nang makita kong si Mamang ang tumatawag, iyong kaba ko dahil sa presensiya ni Jimin ay napalitan ng kabang para kay Mamang. I had been ignoring calls, only if Jimin didn't see my phone.

My mind battled whether I should answer the call or not. Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko kay Mamang. I was sure, she was worrying about me. Ako lang ang hindi nakabalik sa Manila. I knew a lot of bad things must be running on her mind right now.

My mother could be the best of the best moms but she could also be the paranoid of the paranoids. At kapag hindi ko naman sinagot itong tawag niya, baka lumipad papuntang Korea iyon at kaladkarin ako pabalik ng Pinas. That was the biggest trouble I could have.

And who said I still entertained problems? I was still freaking loaded!

So weighing the best choice, I swiped my phone and put it near my ear.

["HANNAN SELESTINE! OH MY! I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU, 'NAK! BAKIT NGAYON MO LANG SINAGOT?"]

Napangiwi ako at bahagyang inilayo sa tainga ko ang phone ko. Mabuti na lang at hindi naka-handsfree itong call dahil nakakahiya kay Jimin, lalo na at titig na titig siya sa akin at mukhang gustong malaman kung ano ang mga pag-uusapan namin ng kausap ko.

"Mang, calm down," banayad kong sabi sa kabilang linya sabay iwas ng mga mata mula kay Jimin. I could hear heavy breaths from the other line and before I knew it, my mother was already crying silently and it was breaking my heart. "M-Mang…" tawag ko sa mahinang tinig para patahanin siya.

["How can you ask me to calm down if I don't know at where part of Korea my daughter is? Kung alam ko lang na ganito, sana hindi na kita pinayagang sa Manila mag-aral ng kolehiyo."] Mamang cried even more. At ang lalim lang talaga ng pinaghugutan niya. Matagal na naming isyu ang kagustuhan kong mag-aral sa Manila noon, at matagal na kaming tapos doon.

That was ages ago! Naka-graduate na ako, nakapagtrabaho't lahat-lahat at naroon pa rin pala siya sa pahinang iyon ng buhay ko!

"Mang, please. I know you're worried about me but please, rest assured that I'm now a big girl and I can handle myself," sagot ko kay Mamang para pakalmahin siya.

["How are you? You should be back in the Philippines by now. Hindi alam ng kumpanyang pinagtatrabahuan mo kung nasaan ka. Hindi ka raw nila kasamang nag-board sa eroplano. Hanselle, are you trying to abandon your job you worked hard for?"] Mamang told me in both a scolding and worried tone.

Mariin akong pumikit dahil hindi naiintindihan ni Mamang. If given a choice, I would really choose the easy way to go back to the Philippines pero hindi ko rin naman puwedeng sabihin kay Mamang na-stuck ako ngayon sa isyu rito sa Korea. When I opened my eyes, I was met by those two gorgeous small eyes looking at me softly. Just like that, I found my greatest comfort I had been looking for.

Jimin's pair of beautiful yet worried eyes.