Chapter Forty-six

Pinagmasdan ko ang mga Forget-me-nots na nasa puting vase matapos ko itong ilapag sa napili kong spot. I even ordered that beautiful vase only for those group of flowers. Iyon kasi yung bouquet na dala rito ni Jimin noong nakaraang gabi. I included it into my Hannan's Collections. Mga flower vases na may mga blue forget-me-nots na nasa balcony.

It was time for watering.

Ngayon, iniisip ko na naman kung paano nalaman ni Jimin ang obsession ko sa mga bulaklak na ito. He couldn't probably have me investigated. That would be creepy! Hindi naman niya puwedeng tanungin sina Aly since hindi ko naman nabanggit sa mga ito ang pagkahilig ko sa mga bulaklak.

Sa tuwing araw ng day off ko ay kasama sa list of to-dos ko ang pag-chi-check sa mga bulaklak kong ito. Since isang araw sa isang linggo lang naman ako walang pasok, which was Sunday by the way, tuwing linggo lang din kung kamustahin ko ang mga ito.

Pagkatapos kong diligan ang mga bulaklak ko ay naligo na ako dahil sa labas ako kakain ng almusal. Since may malapit namang fast-food chain sa building na ito ay nagsuot na lang ako ng simpleng puting v-neck shirt at denim jumper skirt na umabot sa tuhod ko na tinernuhan ko na lang ng simpleng pares ng Banana Peel flip-flops. Masyado na akong nagugutom para i-blower pa ang basa kong buhok kaya sinuklay ko na lang ito. Matutuyo rin naman ito sa init ng panahon ngayon.

Dala ang isang maliit na jade purse sa kanang kamay ko habang ang kaliwang kamay ko ay ginagamit ko para suklayin ang buhok ko ay nagtungo na ako sa pinto. Nahinto ako sa pagsasara ng pinto ng bahay ko nang makalabas ako at parang gusto ko na lang bumalik ulit sa loob nang may maabutan akong napakaguwapong lalaki sa labas ng bahay ko.

Bakit ba kasi hindi ako nag-blower?! Sana kasi naglagay man lang ako ng kahit na light makeup man lang! And what about my fainting lips?! I bet they lost colour now!

I hardly bit my lower lip as I slowly turned my head to the man who was gorgeously leaning on the wall beside my door, his eyes closed and his prominent angled jaw was such a good sight in his side profile. Hindi niya pa ako napapansin at hindi ko alam kung gugustuhin ko pa bang mapansin niya ako.

Natutulog ba siya? At ano na naman bang ginagawa niya rito?! Akala ko ba nagka-intindihan na kami kagabi? I thought we were done…?

I put both of my hands behind me to hide my left hand inside my right hand because I forgot to remove the ring. Ayaw kong isipin niyang nagustuhan ko ang ginawa niya. Well, I liked the ring but I planned to give it back to him.

I just stood silently, hoping he wouldn't notice me yet because I still wanted to stare at him. How could someone still look good in just a simple black and red stripes shirt tucked in a black tight jeans and a black leather shoes? I noticed his light blonde hair slowly fading, coming back to its real colour. I hoped it would fade fast because I wanted his black hair back.

His Adam's apple protruded proudly because of his posture, it made me gulp hard. Nakasandal ang ulo niya sa dingding at kitang-kita ko ang paglitaw ng ilang mga buhay na ugat sa leeg niya dahil sa pagkakabinat nito. His both hands lamely hung on his both jeans' pockets.

Crap! One photo of this gorgeous man would be enough to make his ARMYs bomb the online world, but of course, I wouldn't give them the benefit that only my eyes deserved!

I smiled idiotically with my heart running again a feast, joining the butterflies down my stomach.

Crap, Jimin. Even without you knowing, even without you doing anything, you can still take me into my insanity. Don't.ever.do.that.to.anyone.else. Even if I'm hurting you, don't ever, please.

Halos mapatalon ako sa sobrang pagkataranta nang unti-unti siyang dumilat at lumingon ng dahan-dahan sa akin. His lonely eyes went deeper my eyes could only see, his eyes told me how he badly wanted me back. I hardly pursed my lips in tension as I nervously brushed my hair with my fingers—the fingers without the ring.

This wasn't good.

Moving-on couldn't be done just over night! Paano ko siya mai-aalis sa sistema ko kung lumilitaw siya sa harap ko ng ganito? It was like he was mocking me! Dahil oo, hirap na hirap na nga akong mag-move on kahit na hindi ko siya nakikita, paano pa kaya kung binibigla niya ako ng ganito?

"What are you doing here again?" I asked him, trying to act calm even though my insides were not behaving so well. Ang mga tuhod ko ay nanghihina dahil lang sa lapit niya sa akin.

Umayos siya ng tayo at humakbang ng isang beses para mas mapalapit sa akin. With that one swift move, the air smell changed. I could no longer smell the melon flavor shower gel I just had, I could now smell his nose-pleasuring scent.

Stop torturing me, please.

"To see you," simpleng sagot niya na para bang napaka-obvious ng rasong iyon at tipong wala lang sa kaniya ang paglitaw niya rito sa labas ng bahay ko, na para bang hindi ko siya ipinagtabuyan noong nakaraang gabi.

What is he even doing here?!

I sighed exasperatedly, trying to dismiss the effect he was inflicting me away from my system. Maybe yes, what Jimin wants, Jimin gets. Wala siyang takot sa mga puwedeng mangyari. Ni hindi niya naisip na baka mapahamak siya. He couldn't really go here undisguised because there were lots of CCTV cameras here.

What if someone recognized him? People would surely dig deeper. At ano na lang ang iisipin ng lahat kapag nalaman nilang nasa labas siya ng bahay ko? Well, that was another trouble again I didn't even want to think of.

"And undisguised, really?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko sa kaniya habang iwinawaglit sa isipan ko ang biglaang epekto ng presensiya niya.

He just stared intently at me. Hindi ko talaga alam kung anong tumatakbo sa utak ng lalaking ito. How could he bravely fly here from Korea just… just for me? How could he possibly hold back even after I pushed him away? How could he still appear in front of me with all those risks?

Ganoon ba niya ako kamahal kahit na isinusuko ko na siya? Did I deserve his love? Because he deserved someone from his world, someone, sadly, who would never be me.

"Where are you staying?" tanong kong muli sa kaniya nang mukhang wala siyang balak sumagot. Hindi ko rin alam kung paano siyang nakapasok sa building na ito nang walang nakakapansin sa kaniya.

"Next…" He trailed off, his eyes rolling away from mine.

Pinagtaasan ko siya ng kilay para ituloy niya ang sinasabi niya. "Next?" I urged him.

He scratched the back of his head. "Door," was all he said before I had my mouth gap opened. I never knew if I had neighbors. I never knew if anyone lived next doors, if there were people in other houses. At paanong sa kabilang silid siya nag-i-stay?!

"Nagbibiro ka ba?!" I exclaimed loudly. Gulat na gulat akong napatitig sa katabing pinto ng bahay ko bago bumalik sa kaniya ang mga nanlalaki kong mga mata.

Kumunot ang noo niya, the way his forehead knotted and his brows crossed didn't make him anymore less handsome. Napakaguwapo niya pa rin at hindi ako makapaniwalang nagagawa ko pang isipin iyon kahit na gulat na gulat ako sa nalaman ko. He then quietly yet quickly took another step towards me that made our toes touch. Aatras sana ako kaso hinawakan niya ang mga braso ko para panatilihin ang lapit naming dalawa.

The friction brought by his hot and soft palms on my skin sent shivers to the every bones in my spine. Nahinto ako sa akmang pag-atras habang halos ikabingi ko ang malakas na pintig ng pasaway kong puso dahil lang sa lapit sa akin ng lalaking hinahangad nito.

I stared up at him as he stared down at me. This… this looked familiar. His height towering over mine with our eyes having heavy contacts. He really wasn't short, his friends were just all undeniably tall.

"Kiss her if she spoke Filipino. Namjoon hyung told me that so speak again," aniya habang unti-unting gumuguhit ang mapaglarong ngiti sa mga labi niya matapos ang ilang sandaling paninitig niya sa akin.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Gumaganti na naman ba siya?! Palagi niya itong ginagawa sa tuwing nag-ta-Tagalog ako at napaka-immature lang! I tried to take his hands off my arms but he was way too strong.

Right! He was a man after all.

Ibinalik ko ang tingin ko sa kaniya at binigyan siya ng masamang tingin. "Bitiwan mo nga ako!" inis kong sabi habang sinusubukang muling alisin ang mga kamay niya.

Crap, why he had to be this strong?

He only smiled at me, a victorious, devilish not so shy smile. One moment, I was trying to take his hands off my arms. Akala ko ay nagtagumpay na ako dahil inalis na niya pero ginawa lang pala niya iyon para hawakan ang magkabilang pisngi ko at… at mariing akong halikan.

He lightly pushed me, leading me to have my back harshly leaning on my house's door as he softly pressed his lips deeper against my already parted lips because of shock and unpreparedness. Ang maiinit niyang mga palad ay pinapainit na ngayon hindi lang ang magkabilang pisngi kong hawak niya kung hindi maging ang buong sistema ko.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Too late to close my lips because his lips now moved its way to mine. The feel of his soft lips numbed my system. My heart feasted as it poisoned my now misleading mind. Dahil maging ito, nagugustuhan na rin ang ginagawa niya.

Marahang gumalaw ang mga labi niya para palalimin pa ang halik. His tongue immediately found its way inside my hot cavern and quickly explored my mouth, demanding for response.

I tried to push him but he only gripped both of my hands and quickly brought them around his neck, just before he gently draped his arms around my waist. Mas inilapit niya pa ang katawan niya sa katawan ko, idinidiin ako sa pinto ng bahay kong sinasandalan ko. I gasped in between the kiss when his lips sucked my lower lip in a very smooth but tempting manner, as if teasing me. Nagsitayuan ang mga balahibo ko sa batok habang damang-dama ng mga labi ko ang basa at malalambot niyang mga labi.

I… I had never had this kind of kiss. I had never had this intimacy before and we had never kissed like this. Gusto ko na lang na buksang muli ang pinto, hilain siya papasok at hayaan siyang gawin ang lahat sa akin.

"I missed your smell, everything about you." He shortly let go of my lips that made me moan in protest, chuckling as he gave his lips to me again, deepening the kiss even more.

Pinanghihinaan ako ng mga tuhod dahil sa ginagawa niya sa akin at kung hindi lang sa mga braso kong ipinulupot niya sa leeg niya ay baka bumagsak na ako. Crap, what was I thinking?! Kahit nang marahang kagatin niya ang pang-ibabang labi ko ay wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang mapapikit at sabunutan siya.

If only he knew what was running on my mind right now!

"Jimin…" I shamelessly uttered, lost in the pleasure he was giving me. Naramdaman ko ang pagngisi niya sa gitna ng halik.

"Should I let you go?" he teasingly asked, whispering, lips nibbling my still swollen ones from the kiss, sending more temptation to my spine.

Dumilat ako at ako na mismo ang humalik sa kaniya sabay iling, humigpit ang kapit ng mga daliri ko sa buhok niya at kusa nang gumalaw ang mga labi ko para ibalik ang parehong intensidad ng mga halik niya.

Not now, Jimin! Not now that you already injected me some feeling that made me want you more!

He chuckled against my lips and in my greatest frustration, his lips disappeared from my lips. Muntik na akong mapamura nang makita ko ang pang-asar ngunit kontento at matagumpay niyang ngisi.

Crap! What did I… I do?

Nahihiyang napayuko ako nang bumuhos sa akin ang lahat. Did I just let him kiss me or it was better to say that, did I just let myself be drowned by his kisses?! After what I told him the other last night? After pushing him away? That was stupid! So embarrassing!

"I will not let you go as you wish, misseu," he said, still grinning triumphantly, his eyes missing with how his lips stretched. And I couldn't deny that the spark shading his circles screamed happiness. It was hard not to get swayed, when my heart was just so soft for him.

"Kailan ko sinabi iyon?!" I screamed at him. Kumunot ang noo niya. In my surprise, he again stole a quick kiss from me. "Crap, Jimin! Will you stop it?" sigaw kong muli sa kaniya para sawayin siya.

He just shook his head, still freaking grinning as if he had won against me. Pakiramdam ko umatras na ang gutom ko dahil sa mga pinaggagawa sa akin ng lalaking ito.

"Hm. Are you out to eat?" he asked nonchalantly, his hand casually slipped inside his pants' pockets while licking his lips.

"Wala ka na roon!" inis kong sabi. My reflexes immediately kicked in when I saw him leaning over me again, so I put my hands on my mouth. This jerk! He was kissing me every chance he got! Pinanlakihan ko siya ng mga mata. Nang masiguro kong wala na siyang balak halikan akong muli ay inalis ko na ang kamay ko sa bibig ko. "Don't do that again!" I scowled at him.

"Mwo?" he asked, still grinning. Uh, he was enjoying this! Kung hindi lang sana ako nadala sa halik niya kanina! Pero sinong niloko ko? Palagi akong nawawala sa sarili ko pagdating sa kaniya, what more he was kissing me?!

"Kissing me! We're in a hallway, Jimin. And there are… there are cameras!" paputol-putol kong sabi dahil nasa labi na naman niya ang mapaglarong ngiti na iyon.

He nonchalantly shrugged as if not taking seriously what I just told him. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at hinila ako patungo sa harap ng pinto ng kabilang silid, huli na para pumiglas pa ako.

"Let's eat. They are already waiting for us," he casually told me as if he was not puzzling my mind at all.

"What…?" The remaining words left only as a thought in my mind when he input a combination and opened the door.

He pulled me in then. Nagpaubaya ako. My mind was so busy recollecting its thoughts. Naintindihan ko lang ang lahat nang marating namin ang sala.

Six messy boys scattered everywhere as familiarity dawned into me... no, it was more than just familiarity. Nostalgia.

"NOONA!~" Si Jungkook ang unang nakapansin sa amin. He was eating a chocolate chips that he quickly threw to the table in front of them upon seeing us. Mula sa pagkaka-upo sa long couch ay agad siyang tumayo at tumakbo palapit sa amin. And even before I could speak, I was already inside his tight hug. "Noona! Bogoshiposeo!~" he told me cheerfully.

Ang ibang miyembro ay lumapit na rin sa amin. Taehyung excitedly square smiled at me, not hiding his obvious giddiness. Kaya't nang pakawalan ako ni Jungkook ay agad niya akong dinamba ng yakap, habang pinapaliguan ako ng kung ano-anong salita sa linggwaheng Korean. He almost choked me if only Jimin didn't pull him away from me, frowning, he stepped back from me.

Nang pinakawalan ako ni Taehyung ay susunod sanang yayakap sa akin si J-Hope ngunit hinila siya ni Jin palayo para ang huli muna ang yayakap sa akin.

"Yah, hyung!" J-Hope groaned in annoyance. I even saw him frown but when he met my eyes, he quickly smiled widely which I happily gave back.

"I missed you, Hanselle-ssi," Jin told me while hugging me softly.

Wala akong masabi. I was too stunned, seeing them again this near. Them, materializing in front of me like this. I thought, I couldn't really escape fate. Dahil hahanap at hahanap talaga ito ng paraan para guluhin ang buhay ko.

Just when I thought, I already put a period on the chapter of my life where BTS were left behind, I was wrong. Maybe, this wasn't a story where I was the lead character. Maybe, this was someone's story and I was just a mere supporting character who should just go with the flow.

Pinakawalan ako ni Jin habang ginugulo ang buhok ko kaya pabiro kong hinawi ang kamay niya na ikinatawa niya. Again, from behind, I saw J-Hope smiling excitedly as if ready to hug me. Kaya hindi ko na hinintay pang mawala si Jin sa harap ko. I was about to go near J-Hope when I felt someone pull me and lock me inside a tight hug.

"Yah, yah, Joon! Me first!" J-Hope scowled in almost a tantrum.

Natawa ako nang makilala ko si RM pero ibinalik ko rin naman ang yakap niya, katulad ng mga nauna ay ang bango rin niya at mahigpit din ang yakap.

"Maybe we should really paint our group name on your forehead so people won't try to steal you away from us," ani RM sa malalim na tinig habang marahang tinatapik ang likod ko.

Nakita kong nagsitanguan ang lahat sa sinabi niya bilang pangsang-ayon. Inisip ko kung bakit niya iyon sinabi pero agad ko rin namang napagtanto nang bumulong siya sa akin, "Jiro-ssi."

That was a month ago but they were still at it?

Nang pinakawalan niya ako ay wala sariling napahawak ako sa noo ko, takot na baka totoohanin nila iyon. Saka pa lang nagkaroon si J-Hope nang pagkakataong yakapin ako. Pinupog niya ako ng halik sa noo at biningi ako ng matinis niyang boses pero natawa pa rin ako.

"Misseu! Bogoshiposeo!~" He was still very hyper. Nakakahawa ang pagiging hyper niya na nagagawa niyang pasiglahin ang emosiyonal kong estado.

I was very emotional with the excitement and happiness they were showing me now.

Ang pinakahuling yumakap sa akin ay si Yoongi. I could feel his hesitation but he still did. He hugged me softly as if he was afraid he would hurt me. Pinatawad ko na si Yoongi sa mga ginawa niya sa akin noon, sa sobrang daming nangyari, hindi ko na naisip pa iyon.

People commit mistakes so people should forgive. Isa pa, nag-sorry na siya noon sa akin.

Matapos ang simpleng reunion na iyon ay dinala nila akong lahat sa dining area kung nasaan ang mesang puno ng pagkain niluto raw nina Jin at Jungkook kaninang umaga pa kaya kanina pa humihingi ng paumanhin sa akin si Jin dahil malamig na ang mga niluto niya.

"It took you so long to bring her here," RM told Jimin as we occupied the seats.

Hindi na ako masyadong nagugulat at nagtataka sa tuwing nag-uusap sila dahil nasanay na ako. Sinanay nila ako.

Si Jimin ang na-upo sa kanan ko at si Taehyung ang na-uwing na-upo sa kaliwa ko matapos nilang mga rock-paper-scissor ni Jungkook. Sa harap namin ay sina J-Hope, Yoongi at Jungkook, accordingly while RM and Jin both occupied the opposite edges of the table.

Jimin scratched the back of his head and just smiled shyly at RM while glancing occasionally at me. Just then, we started eating while they were all so talkative telling me how they had done when I left before.

"They actually looked good together, I mean, you're all both from the same world so I think, they suit each other…" I acted nonchalant as I shrugged my shoulder as if what I said didn't affect me at all when they asked me why I suddenly left. I noticed how they exchanged looks with each other while Jimin remained looking at me as if he could read what was in my mind, or as if he was trying to read what was in my mind.

Nag-iwas na lang ako ng tingin at nagpatuloy na sa pagkain. Ayaw ko sanang sirain ang breakfast na ito pero hindi ko rin naman kasi inaasahang ngayon nila piniling pag-usapan ang tungkol doon. Deep inside me, I knew to myself how it was still affecting me but of course, I wouldn't show them that.

Ito iyong parte ng nakaraan na dapat ay matagal nang naayos.

"I mean, the reason why you left our house," ani RM na nagpatigil sa akin.

I raised my gaze at him only to find him biting his lips while staring at Yoongi who was now glaring at him. RM looked hesitant too but his members were all looking curiously at me, waiting for every spit of words from my mouth to finally clear everything that happened before.

Bumuntong-hininga ako para kumuha ng lakas na ilahad sa kanila ang side ko. I needed to at least say something about it, I needed to give them an answer.

"'Cause of Jimin and Sally," I honestly answered as I again shortly glanced at Jimin. I caught him gap his mouth open upon hearing what I said. Narinig ko rin ang singhap ng iba pa kaya ngumuso ako. Hindi ako makapaniwalang hindi nila alam iyon. "You didn't know? You manager went to your house when the news about Sally and Jimin broke. We kind of talked about it. He told me that everything was fixed already and the news was real…" Yumuko ako at itinoon na lang sa pinggan kong may ilang cubes ng egg roll para itago sa kanilang na-apektuhan pa rin ako.

Though I would admit, that was very immature. Umalis ako ng walang pasabi. I was under their care and they must have felt very irresponsible upon knowing that I was gone. Pero nawalan ako ng mukhang ihaharap sa kanila noon lalo na at akala ko, they had betrayed me.

"But they're not real," komento ni Jin matapos akong magsalita.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya ngunit mula sa gilid ng mga mata ko ay nakikita kong nakatitig pa rin sa akin si Jimin. Nakakatawang isipin na kung kailan tinanggap ko na sa sarili kong hindi na sila puwede sa mundo ko ay saka naman nangyayari ito.

Partly my fault, I knew. I was a coward before to open this issue up. Kasalanan ko, alam ko. I just didn't know that I would have to push them away, I had been very carefree, thinking it was possible to have Jimin forever.

"That's not what your manager told me. I really thought Sally and Jimin were in a relationship and that I was ruining it. And you didn't tell me about the cover-up," sagot ko. I tried so hard to sound calm. Tapos na ito. Malinaw na sa aking inilabas lang ang tungkol kina Sally at Jimin para matigil na ang issue sa amin. Tanggap ko na iyon. They didn't betray me. They didn't fool me. They just kept it from me. I understood it then.

I was just stupid and hurt.

"I don't like Sally," Jimin said in a low voice that pulled me to turn to him. Malungkot ang mga mata niyang nakatitig pabalik sa akin habang bahagyang naka-awang ang mapupulang mga labi.

Yes, you don't like Sally. Ilang beses mo na iyong pinatunayan sa akin. Wala ka rito ngayon kung gusto mo siya. You wouldn't look so sad right now if you like her… I know, Jimin. I know how much you love me.

Pero kasi hindi ganito ang pagmamahal na pinangarap ko. Yes, masaya akong nakilala ko sila, at mas sasaya ako kung mananatili sila sa buhay ko pero iyong pagmamahalan namin ni Jimin? Iyon ang sisira sa kanila. And I only hoped for them to succeed on the path they were walking now and not ruin them.

"But you look good together," I told him not blinking because I wanted to see the sincerity filling his eyes for every words he spilled.

"You are my girlfriend, not her," he firmly said. Ang mga mata niya ay unti-unting tumatalim samantalang mariin nang nakapinid ang mga labi niya. He looked too done at convincing me. I couldn't even look away from him because his sharp stares were stilling my eyes on him.

This guy was very unbelievable. Si Kang Sally na ang pinag-uusapan dito. Maganda, talented at sexy. How could he not like her? She was like every man's ideal girl.

"She's your on-cam girlfriend, Jimin," pagpupumilit ko pa rin. Hindi ako nag-iiwas ng tingin sa kaniya dahil gusto kong makita sa mga mata niya kung paano pinapatunayan ng mga iyon ang mga sinasabi niya.

"But I love you." His voice softened as his eyes fell.

Bumuka ang bibig ko para muling magsalita ngunit agad kong napagtanto ang sinabi niya kaya nanlalaki ang mga matang sinulyapan ko ang mga kaibigan niya para lang makitang nakanganga silang nakatitig sa amin.

I glared at Jimin again. "Stop it," saway ko sa kaniya at padabog na dinampot muli ang kutsara't tinidor ko para mag-umpisang kumain.

No one seemed to break the awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere because they were still processing everything. Bumalik lang ang magaang atmospera nang magbigay si Jin ng isang old dad joke na sila lang ang naka-intindi at si Jimin lang ang natawa. That I silently thanked Jin for.

Nalaman kong noong gabing lumitaw si Jimin sa bahay ko, iyon din ang araw na lumipad sila pa-Pinas. Since I was too oblivious of this residences, hindi ko alam na binibenta pala ng dating nakatira rito ang bahay na ito, and it happened that they bought it. It was just in time and in place, since they really needed a place just near my place. At ang pagkakataon nga naman, never failed to favor its favorite characters, dahil sobrang lapit nga ng napili nilang lugar.

Just a door away from my house.

Jin really cooked this morning because they wanted to have a breakfast with me. Kanina pa raw sila gising. They were all wondering why it took Jimin too long to bring me here. It wasn't my fault. Hindi naman kasi siya kumatok sa bahay ko para sabihing naghihintay pala ang mga kaibigan niya. And he even molested me back there!

I even smiled secretly earlier when I saw a prepared spoon and fork beside my plate. Hindi ko napigilang matuwa kasi naalala pala nilang hindi ako marunong gumamit ng chopsticks. Ang buong akala ko, tuluyan na nila akong kalilimutan matapos ang lahat. Kasi… kasi sino ba naman ako?

At hindi ko rin napigilang kagatin ang pang-ibabang labi ko nang makita ko ang mga nakahanda kanina. No spicy foods, no vegetables and no noodles. Halos lahat ng nakahain ay iyong mga madalas kong kainin noong nasa bahay pa ako ng BTS.

Crap, why fate was doing this to me?! This just made it even more harder for me to move on!

Kumalabog ang dibdib ko nang may maramdaman akong mainit na kamay ang humahaplos sa kamay kong nakapatong sa hita ko sa ilalim ng mesa. Nilingon ko si Jimin para lang makitang nakatitig siya sa akin. His eyes were so soft, staring at me. His lips were stretched in a sweet smile, revealing his white teeth.

And when would I ever get over this man? Was there even an instance for me? Lalo na at hindi pa rin pinapakalma ng sinabi niya kanina ang pagwawala na naman ng puso ko. How could he bluntly say those words in front of his friends?!

Nakakahiya!

"Noona, look I made you heart shaped egg," Jungkook happily told me as he showed me a cute heart shaped egg.

Tumango si Jin. "Yeah. He disturbed me while I was cooking earlier saying he wanted to cook something for you and ended up with only that," he explained, smiling adorably at the youngest.

"Thanks, Kook." I told Jungkook, smiling a bit. From under the table, binawi ko ang kamay ko mula kay Jimin. Kinuha ko ang niluto ni Jungkook at isinalin sa plato ko.

I could say, they all didn't change. At nalulungkot ako kasi kailangan ko silang alisin sa buhay ko. I wanted them all in my life but just like Jimin, they all couldn't be. Kasi komplikado. Because everything was still the same. They were still out of my league as I was to them.

Habang kumakain kami ay si Taehyung pa rin ang pinakamaingay. He would still tell silly things and do weird things. Jungkook would put foods on my plate nonstop. Hindi naman siguro niya balak patabain ako, 'no? Yoongi still was the most silent. He would only eat and listen and smile. Jin would throw old dad jokes that only them could understand. Si J-Hope ay maingay rin kagaya ni Taehyung, nagkakasundo nga sila e. RM would sometimes speak. Jimin did nothing but to stare at me, not minding his noisy friends while eating.

Seriously, Jimin?!

Nang matapos kumain ay gaya ng dati, sila ang naghuhugas ng mga pinagkainan nila. Jimin took my plate and washed it for me. Kahit na sinabi ko na sa kaniyang kaya kong gawin iyon ay kinuha niya pa rin. In the end, isinama na lang ako nina Jungkook at Taehyung sa sala at pinalibutan. Iniwan lang nila ako nang itinaboy sila ni RM dahil hindi pa sila naliligo… uh, hindi naman halata.

Mukha naman kasi silang mga presko.

RM sat beside me, he just came out from one of the rooms all fresh and properly dressed. Kakatapos niya lang maligo. He was already wearing a simple white sleeveless shirt and a brown sweatpants plus flip-flops.

Wow, they were very comfortable and casual here, who would even think they were famous idols?

"Sorry for that, Hanselle-ssi. They're so immature," ani RM.

Umiling ako. "It's fine, Joon. I'm glad that nothing changed. You're all still the same boys I know," sagot ko.

"We're still your boys." He then smiled showing me his cute dimple on his left cheek.

Ngumuso ako dahil naamoy ko ang mabango niyang amoy since katatapos niya lang maligo. Amoy vanilla ang shower gel na ginamit niya.

"Right. And I can't believe I missed you!" Hindi ko napigilang umirap.

"Of course, you do!" He exclaimed that I just laughed off.

Mayamaya, lumitaw na ang iba pa na pare-parehong fresh from the bath. Kaya pala, they were planning a show for me. Balak pala nilang ipakita sa akin ang kanilang new composed choreography. Anila ay para raw iyon sa comeback nila.

"Yah, Hobi hyung!" saway ni Namjoon kay Hoseok nang magkamali ito habang sumasaway sila sa harap ko, with their loud synchronized counting and formations.

Nagkamot si Hoseok saka apologetic na nilingon ang mga kagrupo niya since siya ang nasa unahan. "Miahn," aniya.

I didn't know if he was just teasing his other members, he was like the dancing machine of the group. How could he have mistakes?

Muli silang bumalik sa pagsayaw habang sabay-sabay rin silang nagbibilang. They would repeat their choreography from the start every time one of them would have a mistake and I would only laugh silently while watching them. Nakasampung ulit yata sila bago nila matapos ang sayaw nila sa harap ko. I clapped the moment they ended their choreography. Para kahit papaano ay hindi naman nila maisip na marami silang mali.

Nagtatalon si Taehyung pati si Jungkook sa saya.

No wonder they were the maknaes of the group.