Chapter Thirteen

"OUCH!" daing ko matapos akong mauntog sa pinto at bumagsak sa sahig. Napasapo ako sa noo kong tinamaan ng pinto. That hurt.

Sa sobrang engganyo ko sa panonood sa naghahabulang Jimin at J-Hope ay hindi ko na napansing may paparating pala. And who could that be?

I saw a pair of Pikachu house slippers in front of me. Sinundan ng mga mata ko ang mahahabang binting iyon pataas para matukoy kung sino ang nagmamay-ari ng mga paang iyon. In front of me, Taehyung's shocked face stared down at me. Nang magtama ang mga mata namin ay napakagat-labi siya at tipong nahihiyang napakamot sa ulo… or was he just guilty?

"Gwaenchanh-a?" he asked awkwardly. I could understand basic Korean thanks to K-Drama, they had influenced me. Really good, obviously.

I needed to check first if I didn't get a lump. Marahang hinaplos ko ang noo ko, the part where it was mostly hit. Luckily, wala naman akong nakakapang kakaiba. Malapad pa rin naman ang noo ko at pantay.

Tumango ako habang yumuyuko bilang sagot. I was about to get up when I saw a big hand right before my eyes. Muling napa-angat ang tingin ko sa kaniya at nakita kong naka-iwas siya ng tingin habang nagkakamot ng ulo. A small smile escaped my lips.

He was just so adorable. Kahit na itago niya pa sa akin kung gaano siya ka-sweet na tao na siyang totoo niyang pagkatao, lalabas at lalabas pa rin ito. Because Kim Taehyung of Bulletproof was really a sweet person. A sweet, charming and cute for life kind of person.

I slowly raised my right hand and accepted his lending hand. Uminit ang pisngi ko nang magdikit ang mga palad namin. My sister would really get jealous since she was more of a BTS fan than me. And here I was, Kim Taehyung was holding my hand.

Matatawag ko ng luckiest fan ang sarili ko, minus all the issue of course, dahil hindi pa rin ako napapalagay sa lahat ng mga issue na kinakasangkutan ko.

He gently pulled me up afterwards. Mabilis ko rin namang binawi ang kamay ko mula sa pagkakahawak niya dahil sa hiya.

"Thanks," mahinang sabi ko sa kaniya habang umaatras ng bahagya. Hindi siya sumagot ngunit nahuli ko siyang kinakagat ang pang-ibabang labi niya na parang pinipigilan ito sa… pagngiti?

Oh come on, Hanselle! Bakit ka naman ngingitian ni Taehyung? Baka nakakalimutan mo, ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit sila nagkakaproblema ngayon? And don't you dare forget that he was just acting so mean to you since you crossed path with them! So stop imagining! My inner Goddess scolded me, pulling me out my hopeless trance.

Tinanguan niya ako habang nagkakamot siya ng ulo at pumasok na sa loob ng kuwarto. Nang umalis siya ay napansin kong bukas na ang pinto at nakatingin na ang iba pang miyembro ng BTS sa akin. Naka-akbay si J-Hope kay Jimin habang pareho silang gulat na nakatingin sa akin. Mukhang na-istorbo ko rin sina Jungkook at Jin sa paglalaro, maging si RM at si Yoongi na walang paki-alam ay nasa akin na rin ang atensyon.

Uh, kapag nakatingin sila ng ganyan sa akin, pakiramdam ko ay nilalamon na ako ng lupa. Nag-iinit ang mga pisngi ko at gusto ko na lang magtago but at the same time, I couldn't move.

Umalis si Jimin sa pagkaka-akbay ni J-Hope at lumapit sa akin na nagpakabang muli sa akin. His worried eyes looked so thoughtful, once again dragging me into the deepest fall than I already was. Pero siyempre, hindi ko puwedeng isipin iyon. I was not a hypocrite. I was not assuming. I didn't want to…

Nakita ba nilang lahat ang nangyari? Nakakahiya! Gusto kong tumakbo patungo sa kama at magtago sa ilalim ng comforter dahil pakiramdam ko, mauupos ako ngayon na parang isang kandila dahil sa kahihiyan!

"Are you hungry?" Jimin softly asked. Huminto siya sa doorway ng kuwarto at banayad na tumitig sa akin.

I bit my lower lip nervously. Kailangan ko na yata parating magdala ng voice Google translate sa tuwing makikipag-usap ako sa kanila. I could talk with RM and Jin since they could speak English well but how about the others? I was sure they did speak but in a very worst way.

"She can't understand you, moron!" Yoongi said in the middle of the deafening silence.

Mas dumiin pa ang pagkagat ko sa ibabang labi ko nang marinig ko ang boses niya. Hindi naman siguro niya ako minumura no? I would suggest they carry voice Google translate too for a better communication between us.

Jimin chuckled as he tilted his head as if acknowledging whatever Yoongi had said. Tumango-tango siya na parang may napagtanto. He looked at me again and smiled, his eyes were smiling too. I thought, he just stole my heart. Ah no, he just reminded me that he owned my heart. It was in his hands since then that was why he was illegal.

He was a thief.

"Hungry?" was all he said after committing a crime towards me.

I just stared at him, blinking in both confusion and salvation. Maililigtas ko pa ba ang sarili ko sa malalim na pagkahulog sa kaniya gayong ganito siya sa harap ko ngayon? He had just committed a crime as he was illegal himself. Ang buo niyang pagkatao ay napakadelikado. He could kill a heart and could ruin a mind. Matagal na niyang ginawa iyon sa akin. And I couldn't just sue him for that!

Nanatili akong nakatitig lang sa kaniya, so lost of words to say for I was very nervous of his near perimeter presence. I could feel my hairs on my nape building a battalion, sending me goosebumps.

"You haven't eaten anything. Aren't you hungry?" Tumayo si RM at lumapit sa amin dahil mukhang hindi na niya natiis ang napaka-slow signal na komunikasyon sa pagitan namin ni Jimin. Sumilip siya sa likod ko at nagpakawala ng malalim na buntong-hininga. Bumagsak sa mga mata ko ang disappointed niyang mga mata. Nakita niya malamang ang mga untouched tray sa mesa.

Being in despair was more I was. Sino ba namang makukuha pang lumamon sa gitna ng mga pangyayari? Hindi naman ako ganoon ka-insensitive.

"Maybe she wants some meats. I can cook for her," Jin offered indirectly, standing up from his seat.

Mabilis akong umiling. That stopped him from walking towards somewhere. Nilingon niya akong muli. The stares I was getting doubled. Pakiramdam ko, mas tutok sila sa akin ngayon o kung sa ano man ang sasabihin ko.

I needed to say this. I wouldn't just stay inside this room and let them resolve all the issues. Gusto ko nang maka-alis dito.

I sighed deeply. "I… let me clear everything to the people," I said in a stern but low voice. I pursed my lips after seeing their stoic faces as if they didn't agree with what I said.

RM stared at me sadly. "Miss, it's not that easy. People will see you. They will start meddling with your private life and they will start invading you privacy. You won't be fine after that," maikling pagsa-summary ni June sa mga posibleng mangyari.

Paulit-ulit akong umiling dahil hindi sapat na rason iyon para ikulong nila ako rito! Kidnapping ito! Hindi ko na matatagalan pang manatili rito! Isa pa, may buhay ako sa Pinas, may trabaho ako at may pamilya!

"Everything isn't easy for me now. I'm not very fine now so what's the difference?" I deadpanned. I gained a gasp from them, making it even more hard for me. Mariin akong pumikit. I just wanted things to end. Ang buong akala ko, noong hindi nila ako binalikan sa mirror room nila noon, akala ko tapos na lahat. Akala ko iyon na ang huli.

I had just hardly convinced myself to let go, to stop gripping same as to stop hoping, but again and again and again, I couldn't stop myself from asking… why was I freaking here with them again?!

"Missue…" I heard Jimin softly utter from behind RM. Sobrang hina ngunit sobrang lambot sa pandinig ng boses niya.

My eyes then went past through RM's shoulder only to see Jimin's pair of small yet so mesmerizing eyes. So beautiful, his eyes were the perfect reflection of what he was feeling, of his emotion, and I was hurting to see sadness in those beautiful eyes.

Hindi dapat ganoon. Those eyes didn't deserve stigmas. Those eyes deserved only good things. Just like how beautiful they were.

Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko para mapigilan ang panginginig nito dahil sa hikbing namumuo sa lalamunan ko pero hindi ko nagawang pigilan ang panunubig ng mga mata ko. Crap, I had been crying all day and my eyes and throat had been hurting too!

I stared at them apologetically as I turned around and rushed back to the room, I even walked past Taehyung who happened to be just standing behind me. I closed the door harshly as soon as I went in.

They couldn't understand me! Kasi wala naman sila sa kinatatayuan ko. They didn't know how hard it was to be in a situation where I couldn't decipher what was real and what was not anymore. They weren't in this situation where I was struggling to find the escape from this surreal reality! I was freaking confused!

And above all, I was terrified, I was terrified to get close with them because I knew, all of these weren't permanent. I was scared I might get used to all these! And what hurt the most than letting go of the things, people rather that I loved?

I laughed softly as a thought crossed my mind. Nakakatawa lang na nagiging comfort ko ang kuwartong ito sa lahat ng mga nangyayari ngayon. This room had been my comfort zone since they had brought me here. Paano na lang ako kung wala ang kuwartong ito? Then there was no place I could run to, place I could hide into and a corner I could sulk into inside this BTS's den.

Let me cry a river first.

I didn't know exactly how long did I stay thinking and sitting on Jimin's bed because when I went outside the room, with a lot of courage I had built up, I noticed that I was all alone again. Well, kung walang Yoongi na lilitaw ulit.

Past twelve midnight as the clock said.

Of course, I was still thinking of leaving this place to retrieve my simple life but I also came to realize that I couldn't do that in the middle of this chaos I was trapped into. I would need first to find a way out of this mess and the rest would fall into their right places. That was what I had been thinking while sitting on that comfort zone of mine, and I was so proud of myself because of that.

Jimin brought again an another tray of snacks so I thought they would be out for the whole night. How thoughtful of them to even think about my meal? Tatlong tray na ang nasa mesa at lahat ay pare-parehong hindi pa nagagalaw, maliban na lang sa wala ng lamang baso ng tubig.

Napangiwi ako nang mapagmasdan ang buong sala. Anong klaseng bagyo naman ang dumaan dito… o sige, buhawi na lang. Why did I need to question myself that anyway?

Malamang hindi sanay maglinis ang mga iyon. They were like different Kings of this messy castle. At isa pa, possible ring nagha-hire sila ng personal cleaners para maglinis dito o baka naman may mga cleaners sila na itinalaga mismo ng BH Entertainment para sa kanila.

Tss. Those dorks had the golds offered for them. How lucky. Pero sabagay, BTS deserved all the glories and pleasures they were getting since they really worked hard for it and were working hard for it.

Umiling ako at bumalik sa kuwarto. I looked for something I could use to band my hair. Nakakita ako sa mesa ni Jimin ng isang black band bracelet at ginamit ko iyon para itali ang buhok ko, I hoped he wouldn't mind, ang ibang buhok ko ay nagsisilaglagan dahil hindi kayang sakupin ng panali dala na rin ng ka-ikli-an.

Lumabas ako pagkatapos at hinanap ang storage room, sure where those cleaning materials could be found. There were lots of doors around the house. Iba pa roon ang mga kuwarto nila. They occupied four rooms for their bedrooms, and I wondered what the other rooms were for. Namangha ako nang makita ang mga kagamitang panglinis sa loob ng isang cleaning closet. Tss, mukhang bago lahat at hindi pa nadadapuan ng kahit na isang alikabok man lang.

Hm, let's get them in good use.

I started cleaning the messy living room. Winalis ko ang buong sala bago ako mag-vacuum. I threw all the mess I saw from the table. Bahala na silang maghanap sa basurahan kung may naitapon man akong mahalagang bagay na pag-aari nila. These could be their payment for bringing me here. They would have to cope with me. I didn't do house chores but I just couldn't take a messy place. Masakit sa mata ang makalat na mesa at maduming sahig.

Nang matapos ako sa sala ay binisita ko ang bawat kuwarto. I knew I was going overboard but who cares? BTS needed a little lecture. At saka hindi naman siguro masamang uuwi silang malinis na bahay ang dadatnan nila. They should be grateful actually.

Lalo na si Jimin. That man… that illegal man… that illegal man of my life. My illegal man.

After checking the neat room of J-Hope and Jungkook and doing a little cleaning in RM's and Jin's room, and I had also visited a luxurious band room which was by the way so beautiful, doon malamang sila nagpa-practice kumanta. Mayroon rin silang gym room… and I could only imagine them all working out there. I frowned as I saw Yoongi's room as the last room to clean. Sa tingin ko, si J-Hope at Yoongi dapat ang roommate para naman nai-impluwensyahan si Yoongi ng pagiging neat freak ni J-Hope.

Both J-Hope and Jungkook had this neat freak attitude so it was not fair to let them share a room. That was imbalance.

There were crumpled papers littering around Yoongi's room. I guessed, being a composer required this kind of room.

Messy, Yoongi. Messy…

Unang mapapansin ang single gray sheeted bed in the middle of the room, just across the door. May bedside table sa gilid nito at isang standing lamp naman sa kabilang gilid. Isang pinto sa gilid pa na sa tingin ko ay siyang pinto ng banyo.

The room was a combination of black and gray, kind of mature looking and very intimidating than the ocean blue room of Jimin and Taehyung's. Pero sa bagay, mas matanda naman kasi si Yoongi kaysa roon sa dalawa. Ang nag-iisang study table sa isang sulok ng silid ay puno ng kung anu-anong klase ng notebooks. Pens and pencils were stuck in a long glass. Nakabukas pa ang study lamp, and there was a folded laptop near the lamp.

I walked towards the table and piled the notebooks properly in one place. Napansin ko ang isang bukas na notebook kung saan may mga salitang nakasulat sa Hangul. Maybe he was composing. I closed the notebook and topped it on the others. I first switched off the lamp before letting my curiosity delved into me. Umupo ako sa upuan at binuksan ang laptop. I bit my lower lip as I waited for it to load…

I crossed my fingers as I whispered silently: Sana walang password. And seemed like the heaven was with me dahil lumiwanag ito sa last site na naiwan ni Yoongi.

Kumunot ang noo ko.

Google translate?

My fingers went to the mouse touch and maneuvered the courser, my upper teeth groping my lower lip in tension. Invasion of privacy itong ginagawa ko but I couldn't help it, curious ako. I visited the Google translate history.

"You are not planning to escape, ah?" — English.

너 탈출하지 않을거야, 아?

And beside the English words were Hangul alphabets above it was the language 'Korean'.

Same goes with these sentences…

'You wait for them. They pick up your stuff in the airport.' and 'Go back to your room.'

Naalala kong ito yung mga eksaktong salitang sinabi sa akin ni Yoongi kanina nang mahuli niya akong nagbabalak na tumakas. So he must have taken his time and effort to search for this only to be able to talk to me, for me to understand him.

Nag-init ang mga pisngi ko. Was I worth of his efforts? I couldn't imagine a Yoongi struggling to search these things for a stranger… a fan like me. Isa pa, he didn't seem to be the caring type, he loved to ignore everything and didn't give a damn. That was him.

On the other hand, I weirdly find him sweet and cute. A no care Yoongi with so much effort. He was like a paradox like me. When all I wanted was to be with them yet I really wanted to go and leave.

I was a paradox who had every reason but deprived of choices and he was a paradox in nature, because I was seeing him doing this with no external motives at all. He was just doing this without him knowing that he was actually doing it.

How cute!