LXXVII

Chapter Seventy-seven

Mabilis kong itinali na lang basta ang medyo basa ko pang buhok nang masulyapan ko ang laundry bin na puno ng labahan sa nakabukas na pinto ng banyo. Kung hindi lang ako na-late ng gising ay baka nakuha ko pang mag-blower ng buhok pero dahil past seven na ako nagising ay kailangan kong magmadali kung hindi ay ma-li-late na ako sa work.

Monday na Monday!

I frustratedly shook my head and threw to some part of my mind the image of the dirty clothes on the laundry bin. Dadalhin ko na lang siguro ang mga iyon sa laundromat ko kapag nagka-oras ako. Seriously, why didn't I hear my alarm clock ring?

My face automatically heated up as I vividly remembered how I woke up this morning. Two pair of cold feet tangled together, I was feeling very comfortable because of the hot breath fanning my nape that it was more comfortable than the warm comforter covering us and it was so hard for me to wake up with those pair of strong arms holding me tightly.

"It is Monday." Well, his soft yet raspy bedroom voice as his lips softly nibbled my ear was more effective way to wake me up than my useless alarm clock.

He was on the kitchen, I guessed.

Nang tumayo ako kanina ay bumangon na rin siya. Hindi ko na rin nalaman kung anong ginawa niya dahil sa pagmamadali kong magtungo sa banyo.

I just took my sling bag that I readied from the bed. Chineck ko kung nasa loob na ba ang ID ko, maging ang wallet at phone ko. Ang pouch na pinaglalagyan ng mga cosmetics ko, nang masiguro ko ay lumabas na ako ng kuwarto. Hinanap ko si Jimin sa kabuuan ng sala para magpaalam ngunit tahimik na sala ang nabungaran ko.

With my one-inch peep-toe heel loudly and carelessly hitting the tiled floor, I marched towards the kitchen. Hindi pa man ako nakakarating ay nalanghap ko na agad ang mabangong amoy ng kung anong ulam. And when I finally appeared in the kitchen, I saw him preparing something on the countertop. Bukas ang ilang cupboards at may umuusok sa ibabaw ng stove.

"Jimin," tawag ko sa kaniya para kunin ang pansin niya.

Nag-angat siya ng tingin. His two mesmerising small eyes meeting mine. Ilang araw pa lang na nandito si Jimin sa bahay ko at sa mga araw na iyon, siya palagi ang nagluluto ng pagkain namin. I was once asked myself during those days, would I get used to him maneuvering my kitchen and cooking our meals like a husband did? Kasi ngayong nakikita ko siyang suot ang puting apron na isa lang sa mga stocks na meron ako, ngayong nakikita ko na naman siyang nasa likod ng countertop, abala sa paghahanda at nakatitig sa akin ay parang ayaw ko na lang na matapos itong lahat.

I wanted all this to last till I wanted it. This… this husband and wife setup we had. Hindi man niya naiisip iyon, sa likot ng imahinasyon at pantasya ko, believe me, umabot na ako sa puntong may mga bata na kaming kasama rito sa bahay, those kids calling us 'Mommy and Daddy'.

Just what I would give for that imagination to happen? Just what I would give to turn that imagination into a beautiful reality?

Everything. I would do and give everything.

"You seem late for work so I just packed you a lunch," nakangiting sabi niya. "Don't worry about Esen too 'cause I will take care of her." He added, smiling at me.

I noticed him putting foods that he surely cooked into a white container box. That explained why the cupboards were opened. He must have looked for a container box on where he could put my lunch. Tinakpan na niya ito pagkatapos ay isinilid sa loob ng isang bulaklaking paper bag na hindi ko alam kung saan niya nahalungkat. He then went out of the counter to approach me while holding the paper bag.

"Is that for me?" Hindi ko mapigilang itanong habang nakatitig sa paper bag na hawak niya nang huminto siya sa harap ko. Nasanay akong hindi na nag-bi-breakfast at sa office na ako kumakain ng gatas na may cornflakes. I was contented of that. And now I was afraid… I was afraid I would really get used to all this.

But then, Hanselle, things end. So why don't you enjoy it till it lasts? My inner Goddess arched a brow at me.

"Ne, misseu. Make sure to finish all this," aniyang tumatango.

Ngumuso ako para magpigil ng ngiti dahil sa biglaang pagbibilis ng tibok ng puso ko. This was just so sweet, seriously. Umayos ako ng tayo saka inginuso ang paper bag. "No vegetables?"

He grinned knowingly at me as he shook his head. "Just… just potatoes," he answered and chuckled softly.

Dahan-dahan akong tumango at kinuha ang paper bag mula sa kaniya, feeling a feast of butterflies in my stomach because of his thoughtfulness and sweetness. Hindi ko na nga gugustuhing matapos pa ito.

Enjoy it till it lasts, I would use all of my privileges I had with Jimin. Days from now, babalik na siyang Korea at magsa-suffer na naman kami pareho sa long distance relationship kaya bago mangyari iyon, bubuo muna ako ng maraming memories kasama siya na pareho naming babaunin.

I wouldn't limit myself anymore.

Before I left, he softly pulled me first for a quick lingering soft kiss as he showered me'take care's and 'I love you's.

That made my day even more.

Sa mga sumunod na araw ay halos pareho lagi ang eksena namin sa bahay. Papasok ako sa opisina dala ang pabaon niyang lunch at maiiwan ko sila ni Esen sa bahay. Pagdating ko ay may dinner na at naghihintay na siya sa akin. We were like living in. Noon, isa ako sa advocates ng against live-in campaigns, because well, that was how school taught us. Pero ngayon, hindi ko masisisi kung bakit may mga couples na pinipiling mag-live-in muna bago magpakasal.

It was a process of knowing your partner before entering the sacred world of marriage. People just didn't want to get committed to a wrong person but I was not saying that I was pushing everyone to do live-in.

I was sure, my parents would freak out if they found out what I was doing nowadays with my boyfriend, whom they still hadn't met. I promised, someday, I would let them meet Jimin.

"Park Eseeen-ssi~!" Pumailanlang sa kabuuan ng sala ang malambot na boses ni Jimin. Natatawang pinanood ko siya habang nilalaro niya si Esen na nasa tiyan niya. He was laying down with his head on my lap here on the couch while I just had my back lean comfortably on the backrest.

Nakabukas ang TV pero hindi kami nanonood. Umi-ere ngayon ang isang news show at kahit noon pa man ay hindi na talaga ako mahilig manood ng mga news.

"She's fond of you," natatawang komento ko dahil halatang-halatang gusto siya ni Esen. Tiningala niya ako habang pinapanatili si Esen sa tiyan niya dahil nagkukulit ang kuting. The cat couldn't help but to wag its tail side by side and jump off from Jimin.

"Of course, I'm her father," he seriously said, his face didn't have any hint of humour as he locked my eyes with him.

Mahinang hinampas ko nga siya sa dibdib. Sa sobrang seryoso ng boses niya ay hindi ko aakalaing nagbibiro lang siya. I just rolled my eyes at him when he put his attention back to the wagging cat on top of his stomach.

"As if she'll know that," I sarcastically answered him, referring to the cat. Like duh? Maiintindihan ba siya ni Esen?

"She does, she can't just talk," sagot niyang pinapanatili pa rin si Esen sa tiyan niya habang hinahaplos niya ang balahibo sa ulo nito.

"Seriously?" I hilariously remarked, lightly tugging at his hair now because I found it good playing with his soft locks.

"Seriously, I wish I got you pregnant, misseu," aniyang walang preno at tipong hindi man lang pinag-isipan ang sinabi kaya napahinto ako sa paglalaro sa buhok niya. Halos mabilaukan rin ako sa bilis niyang magbago ng topic kahit na wala namang laman ang bibig ko at sa lahat ng puwedeng pag-usapan, iyang bagay pa na iyan ang napili niya.

Did he even know how serious that matter was? It cost our whole life! We might now practicing the second part of marriage which was living together but we never did it again. Tama na ang isang beses at masaya naman kami parehong wala iyon. Nararamdaman ko naman kung gaano niya ako nirerespeto sa tuwing magkatabi kami sa kama.

He would cuddle with me, he would pepper me sensual kisses and he would sleep beside me but he never went far from that again. We did it before without protection and there was a big possibility that he got me pregnant but then I was still holding onto that little hope that I didn't… I was still not ready though yes, I would love to carry his child, just not yet.

Itinoon ko na lang ang atensyon ko sa TV kung saan naroon ang balita tungkol sa isang alkadeng in-ambush sa sarili nitong bahay para iwaglit sa isipan ko ang takot na biglang lumukob sa sistema ko. I was not yet ready to get to that stage yet. Without marriage, I wouldn't get pregnant. Masyado pa kaming mga bata at marami pang gustong gawin sa buhay.

Siya, he still had a long way to go with his career. He was very popular now, he was on his peak and he needed to stay that way for the next years. That was while I looked forward to the business proposal of Evah. I wanted it. I had been asking myself as to where should I excel and that opportunity came.

Baka roon, baka sa business, mag-excel na ako. Hopefully.

"I see, you don't want it," he uttered in a low and sad voice. Bigla siyang bumangon kaya't nalaglag mula sa kandungan niya si Esen. The small ball of fur jumped off to the ground from him.

Dumuko ako para pulutin si Esen saka ko agad na hinaplos ang batok nito habang inilalagay ito sa kandungan ko. My heart suddenly turned into a turmoil of uncertainty upon hearing his lost voice, he sounded hurt. And I would never want to make him sad.

It's not that I don't want it, Jimin. You just don't know how I imagined that thing with you. You don't know how I always dream of having kids with you but it's a dream for the future, not now.

We still needed to wait for the right time.

First weekend of December, I had to call my laundromat because it had been weeks already since the laundry bin got overloaded. Wala nang maisuot si Jimin na damit dahil kaunti lang naman ang damit na dala niya, dadalawang pares lang at kaunti lang din ang mga damit niyang naka-stock sa bahay nila.

Mabuti na lang at malinis na ang damit na naiwan dito ni Jimin matapos ang birthday niya noon dahil nilabhan iyon ni manang Bing. Iyon ang gagamitin niya ngayong araw ngunit sa mga susunod na araw ay wala na siyang magagamit.

Na-ihagis ko ang phone ko sa kama matapos kong maka-usap ang isa sa mga staffs ng Asmara Laundry Shop na located lang din dito sa building. The staff told me that they were not accepting laundries for now because they were still full-packed. They recommended me their outside branch which, unfortunately, wasn't really near the building.

Ngayon, pinagsisisihan ko na kung bakit hindi ko hinayaan si Mamang na kuhanan ako ng washing machine noon. It could be of help at times like this since I didn't know how to wash clothes.

Sinulyapan ko muna si Jimin na mahimbing na natutulog sa kama, natatakpan ng comforter ang hubad niyang pang-itaas bago ko sinulyapan ang digital clock sa bedside table. Mag-aalas-sais pa lang ng umaga. Gumising talaga ako ng maaga para lang maihatid ang mga labahan sa fifteenth floor kung nasaan ang mga establishments ng building na ito.

Now, I didn't have any other choice but to push my acting wife duty into the next level. I guessed, I could do it. I had never done washing clothes but I was sure, it was easy. It needed to be easy.

"Ouch!" daing ko nang pabagsak akong napa-upo sa tiled floor ng banyo matapos kong madulas habang pinipiga ang isang maong na pantalon ni Jimin. My mouth instantly gaped as bubbles from the basin splashed all over my face.

Madulas ang tiled flood na tinatapakan ng mga paa ko kaya pagtayo ko ay muli akong bumagsak sa pagkaka-upo. And with quite force, it hurt my bottom. My legs were spread wide, in between was the basin with clothes under the cloud of bubbles. I endured the sudden pain that stung the lower part of my stomach as I tightly clutched to the hard and rough cloth.

Hinagis ko pabalik sa palanggana ang halos ilang minuto ko ring kinusot na pantalon dahil sa inis. I then tried to stand again but due to the slippery tiled floor, I again fell, butt first and my legs spread even more wider. Basang-basa na ang tank-top at shorts na suot ko at sticky na ang pakiramdam ko dahil sa sabon.

Ngumiwi ako sa sakit, both my butt and my stomach ached, kaya napahawak ako sa tiyan ko. Hindi pa rin kasi ako kumakain kaya baka nagrereklamo na ang tiyan ko.

I never thought manual washing of clothes could be this difficult! Paanong nagagawa ito ni manang Bing noon?! Kukuha na talaga ako ng washing machine para hindi na rin mahirapan si manang Bing kapag naglalaba siya.

This was what I would get after trying to wash clothes. I needed to do this because Jimin ran out of clean clothes to wear already. We could shop for his clothes, sure, but I wanted to do this. This just made me feel more like his wife.

Sinabi ko nang hindi ko na lilimitahan ng sarili ko sa relasyon namin ni Jimin.

Nginisihan ko ang mga damit na isa-isa nang naka-hanger sa drier standee na nasa labas ng back door kung saan tumatama ang sikat ng araw. I felt proud of myself after having to get this difficult task done. Pakiramdam ko, pasado na ako, pasado na ako para maging asawa ni Jimin.

I could already wash his clothes.

But you can't cook, you can't clean the house and you can't do any other many things. My inner Goddess smirked at me.

Napasimangot ako saka humalukipkip, glaring at nothing in particular. We could get a maid for that, I didn't need to think about if for now, what was important was I finished washing his clothes. Tinapos ko na lang ang ginagawa kong pagsasampay saka naligo na rin ako tutal ay basang-basa naman ako at nanlalagkit ang pakiramdam ko dahil sa sabon.

Hinubad ko ang mga damit na suot ko sa loob ng banyo sa labas ng shower maging ang mga underwear ko. I rolled them into a ball to throw them shoot to the now empty laundry bin just near the door just as my breathing started hitching when I noticed the doorknob moving before it slowly pushed open.

"Misseu…?"

Revealing a half-awake Jimin, still scrunching his eyes innocently. He must still be sleeping for he was still very clueless of the situation he just got the two of us into. And I was still very stunned that I couldn't move or even find something that could cover my naked body from his half-awake vision. But when I thought, his eyes finally adjusted from sleep, his small blinking eyes stared at my shocked face down my body before his circles jutting out just as his mouth slowly gaped, finally realizing the awkward situation.

Lots of questions started lining up in my mind. Firstly, why did I forget to lock the door? Pangalawa, bakit hindi siya kumatok? Bakit hindi ko chineck muna kung gising na siya? Bakit? At panghuli, bakit hindi ako makagalaw?!

"I-I-I am s-sorry!" He exclaimed, taking his eyes off me and looking anywhere the bathroom but me. Bago pa man ako makakilos ay dali-dali na siyang pumihit patalikod at lumabas ng banyo. The loud bang of the closing door startled my still fazed and stunned being. That made me even more speechless and unmoving.

Hiyang-hiya ako paglabas ng kuwarto pagkatapos kong magbihis at mag-ayos. Dahil sa nangyari ay nahirapan akong piliin ang kung anong isusuot ko. In the end, na-settle ako sa isang white and green horizontal stripes sweater at itim na sweatpants. Nilugay ko lang ang buhok kong kakatapos ko lang i-blower.

He kept on saying sorry about what happened while we were eating the breakfast he made. I could hint guilt through his eyes. Dapat lang na ma-guilty siya! Alam kong nakita na niya ang mga nakita niya kanina pero… pero! Pero nakakahiya pa rin! Nahihiya ako!

"I should have knocked first." He sounded so apologetic.

Ngumuso ako saka dahan-dahang tumango. "Did… did you see e-everything?" Pumikit ako ng mariin dahil sa sarili kong tanong. Kung kahihiyan lang din naman ang pag-uusapan, ubos na ubos na ako! I had been too shameful in front of him.

"Sorry. I could not take it away from my mind," he honestly answered.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "Park Jimin!" I gasped as I glared at him. I felt blood rush to my cheeks and it was heating up, probably already sending my face to crimson. Iniisip ko pa lang kung anong imahe ang nasa utak niya ay nagwawala na ang puso ko sa loob ko.

Why would he?

He just grinned at me with those sparkling eyes, giving me a lot of hints about how dirty his mind now and continued eating his food, not minding at all the humiliation in me. He couldn't probably be keeping that scene in his mind, could he?! He was just a pervert!

"Hey!" tawag ko kay Jimin pagkatapos kong bumaba ng treadmill. Dinampot ko ang mint coloured towel na nasa gilid ko dahil sa nakita kong mga butil ng pawis na lumalandas sa noo niya. He was done running on the treadmill first and was just sitting silently but still sweating hard. Nakatitig siya sa kung saan kaya't hindi niya pa ako napapansin.

Sinundan ko ng tingin ang direksyon ng mga mata niya. Kumunot ang noo ko nang makita ang grupo ng ilang mga lalaki na nagtatawanan habang nakatitig sa amin, sa direksyon namin ni Jimin.

Nang ibinalik ko ang tingin ko kay Jimin ay masama na ang tingin niya sa mga ito. It was like he was ready to pick a fight any moment. At bago pa man niya gawin iyon ng walang dahilan, marahang ipinunas ko na ang bimpo sa noo niya. He jumped a bit, surprised at my sudden appearance. Nilingon niya ako ng naka-awang ang mga labi. His eyes fell at the sight of me as his breathing hitched.

"Are you alright?" I asked him, now drying the sweat from his neck.

Dahan-dahan siyang tumango habang tinititigan ang suot ko. "If you are done then we should go," mariin niyang wika saka tumayo na at hinawakan ang kamay ko. Isang pasada pang muli sa suot ko na nakapagpabuntong-hininga sa kaniya samantalang nagtatakang pinanood ko lang siya.

Bigla yata siyang nawalan ng gana?

"Let's go," aniya sa mariing tono pa rin.

Nagtataka man ay tahimik na nagpahila ako sa kaniya. Madadaanan namin ang mga lalaking tinititigan niya kanina palabas ng gym since nasa malapit sa exit ang kinaroroonan ng mga ito. Pinakatitigan ko ang mga lalaki. They were still looking at us, as if watching our every move.

I suddenly thought if these men were somewhat aware about K-Pop, baka namumukhaan nila si Jimin lalo na at hindi naman siya naka-disguise. Plus, I fished somewhere in my mind if I knew them since I didn't often go here but this was the first time I saw them.

A whistle blew us as we passed by those guys.

"Jimin!" I screamed when he instantly disappeared from beside me, his hand was gone from my hold. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang sinugod niya ang mga lalaki. He pulled one of the guys by the collar, his biceps flexing due to his restrained anger since he was just wearing a black tank-top. Halos mapunit ang suot na itim ring sando ng lalaki dahil sa paghila niya rito.

"Oh shit, dude! Wala akong ginagawa!" The poor man said to Jimin as he held his hand up. Ang ibang mga lalaki ay lumapit na pero hindi naman gumagawa ng paraan para paghiwalayin ang dalawa.

I glared at them before I marched towards Jimin. Were they freaking waiting for a fight?! Hinawakan ko ang braso ni Jimin at buong lakas siyang hiniwalay sa lalaki.

"Jim—" I stopped myself before I could even blurt out his name. "What are you doing?" singhal ko saka mariing hinawakan ang mga braso niya dahil sa hitsura niya, mukhang susugod siya ulit kapag binitiwan ko siya.

"They have been lusting over you, misseu," mahina ngunit may diin niyang sabi.

I gasped loudly, feeling my heart tighten. Nararamdaman ko sa mga palad ko ang paninigas ng mga muscles sa braso niya senyales kung paano siya nagpipigil ng galit. As I looked down at his hands, he was keeping them in a tight closed fist. I seriously hadn't seen him this angry before. At ayaw ko nang makita pa ang mga magagawa niya. I wouldn't take it if I saw him engage in a nonsense fight and get himself hurt.

It would hurt me.

"Pasensiya na kayo." Sa pigil na inis ay kalmadong binalingan ko ang lalaking hawak ni Jimin kanina at humingi ng tawad.

Tumango lang ang lalaki habang inaayos ang suot, at habang iniisip ko kung totoo ba ang sinabi ni Jimin. How these guys would even dare? I meant, I really didn't know how to handle situations like that but of course, I would feel very offended if they were really looking at me like what Jimin had said. And very annoyed.

"Let's go," pigil-inis kong sabi at hinila na siya palabas.

Habang nasa elevator kami ay wala kaming imikan. Nakahalukipkip lang ako habang tinititigan ang repleksiyon niya sa salamin. Nasa likod ko siya at matamang nakatitig sa akin. Nang bumukas ang elevator sa floor ng unit namin ay inunahan ko na siyang lumabas. Hindi ko na rin hinintay pa siya nang buksan ko ang pinto ng bahay.

I… I just didn't want what he did back there.

Immediately, Esen, that was waiting at the back of door ran passed me. Hindi makapaniwalang nilingon ko siya. She was already nuzzling her head against Jimin's feet who was now closing the door.

Umirap ako. Magsama kayo ng tatay mo! Palibhasa kayo lagi ang magkasama kaya mas close kayo!

"Misseu," tawag sa akin Jimin mayamaya. Pabalya ko siyang nilingon at nakita kong buhat na niya si Esen na ngayon ay nakatitig sa akin. Those pair of blue eyes of Esen slowly calmed my system and melted my anger. "I'm sorry. I could not just let them lusting over my you, misseu," paghingi niya ng tawad sa mahina at sobrang lambot na tinig.

Bumuntong-hininga ako. My heart immediately calmed even with only his shy and sincere eyes, why did it have to add Esen's blue eyes?! Pakiramdam ko rin ay dinuduyan ako ng lambot ng boses niya at napaka-unfair lang dahil galit ako.

Things could have gone wrong earlier!

"Just don't do it again. We don't know if there are people who know about you around. I can't let your identity get revealed here." Lumapit ako sa kaniya. "And what if those guys started a fight with you? It would be more devastating for me to see you get hurt, Jimin," dagdag ko. I gently cupped his face while he was staring down at me as I slowly tiptoed and softly pecked his inviting pink plump lips just to pamper my now aching but cheering heart.

God, he just didn't know how I would do anything for him.

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