Chapter Seventy-two

Maybe yes, maybe I needed to accept that sometimes, things wouldn't just go the way I wanted them to be… katulad na lang na may mga tao sa buhay kong ito na hindi ko kontrolado, mga pangyayari at emosiyon.

Patunay na roon ang grupo ng mga lalaking nasa mesang ilang metro lang ang layo sa amin. This could be just a total ridiculous coincidence since I didn't hold time and happenings in my life but who was I kidding here? Fate was again up to my now peaceful life. Nakakita na naman ito ng paraan para paglaruan ang buhay ko.

How could I forget that fate loved to play with my life?

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at itinuon na lang ang pansin sa lata ng sodang iniinom ko saka tamad na pinaglaruan. Hindi ko na dapat bini-big deal pa ang tungkol sa presensiya ng LUX ngayon pero hindi ko kasi mapigilang isipin si… Bien. The last time we had met, I wasn't really nice to him.

"Full already?" Jimin asked me when he noticed that I stopped touching my food.

Bumuntong-hininga ako at muling dinampot ang clamp saka ko pinagka-abalahang baliktarin ang ilang karneng nasa electric griller. "Let's just finish this," sagot ko na tinutukoy ang mga natira pang pagkain. Sayang naman kung aalis kami at hindi namin uubusin ang lahat ng ito.

"Okay." Tumango siya at nagpatuloy na rin sa pagkain. So we continued eating silently. Minsan, hindi ko mapigilang mapasulyap sa kinaroroonan ng LUX at palagi kong nahuhuling nakatitig sa akin si Bien. Kung kanina ay sa tingin ko iniisip pa niya kung saan niya ako nakita, ngayon ay paniguradong nakikilala na niya ako.

I could really remember how badly I had treated him the last time we had met but I also couldn't forget how he had coped up with me and even comforted me all through my upset condition.

Nakatalikod si Jimin sa kinaroroonan nila kaya hindi sila nagkakakitaan, at nagpapasalamat ako roon dahil kapag nagkataon, nakikinita ko na ang mga bagay na maaaring tumakbo sa mga isipan ng buong miyembro ng LUX, lalo na ni Bien, gayong may hinala na siya noon pa sa relasyon ko sa BTS.

Inabot sa akin ni Jimin ang basong sinalinan niya ng soda, ang maliit na basong para sa akin nang maubos na namin ang mga pagkain at kahit na busog na busog ako at ayaw ko pang tumayo ay pinilit ko talaga dahil gusto kong maka-alis na rito.

Nang tumayo na kami ay halos maghuramentado ang puso ko nang tumayo rin si Bien at saglit na kinausap ang mga kasama niya sa mesa.

Oh no, you are not…

"Let's go." Ako na mismo ang humawak sa kamay ni Jimin para hilahin na siya palabas.

"Wait!" We both stopped when we heard that.

Napako ako sa kinatatayuan ko habang hawak ng mahigpit ang kamay ni Jimin. Two things bothered me. What if Bien would end up concluding the truth? What if he would end up realising that I was in a relationship with Jimin? And LUX was an idol group rivaling with BTS.

Fine, that was my immature mind talking!

"Jimin-ssi." Bien stood comfortably in front of us as he stared at Jimin before dragging his eyes to look at me.

Siguro ay talagang walang oras ang mga oldies na nandito para manood ng TV dahil wala pa rin nakakakilala sa kanila. And that was the only comforting thing here, of course, bukod sa hawak ko ang kamay ni Jimin.

Bien's eyes fell down on our tangled hands.

"Sunbaenim!" Lumiwanag ang mukha ni Jimin at bahagyang yumuko kay Bien para magbigay-galang. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang maalala kung paanong tinrato ni Jimin noon si Bien nang madatnan nila kaming magkasama noon sa kalsada, ilang buwan na ang nakakalipas.

"Would you like to join us? Have at least one drink," wika ni Bien sabay turo sa mga lalaking kasama niyang nasa mesa nila.

Napayuko ako dahil nakatingin pala silang lahat sa amin at pare-parehong nagtataka ang mga mata. Oh, I knew those men, of course! Sinong hindi makakakilala sa kanila? Em would really scream at my face if I were her, she was a fan of LUX.

Ngumuso ako nang ilipat ni Jimin ang kamay kong hawak niya sa isa niyang kamay, para siya na ang humahawak sa kamay ko. I stayed my head down because I didn't feel comfortable, to be honest.

"Maybe some other time. I'm with my girlfriend," ani Jimin.

Tahimik kong naipanalangin na sana ay umalis na kami rito. Kung nagkakamustahan man sila, sana tapusin na nila. I didn't know if I could last longer here with those pairs of hawk eyes staring at us. I didn't even want to imagine all the possibilities running on their minds, just because Jimin and I were hand in hand.

"Oh, hi Miss! Nice meeting you again." A long, white and beautiful hand then appeared in front of me.

Mabilis akong nag-angat ng tingin kay Bien para lang makita ang mga labi niyang nakabinat sa isang maliit ng ngiti saka ko muling sinulyapan ang kamay niya. I hardly bit my lower lip as I felt even more uncomfortable. How could I accept his hand and say that it was really nice meeting him again if I felt otherwise? It was uncomfortable!

Humigpit ang hawak ko sa braso ni Jimin bago ako dahan-dahang umatras saka bahagyang nagkubli sa likod niya para iiwas ang awkward kong imahe mula kay Bien. I watched as Bien's face slowly changed. His small smile fell, mouth went ajar as he stared at me, wide eyed.

Bahagya naman akong nilingon ni Jimin at nang mag-angat ako sa kaniya ng tingin ay sinalubong ako ng malalambot niyang mga mata na naging dahilan ng pagbilis ng tibok ng puso ko. The comfortable feeling brought by his soft eyes washed away the uncomfortable havoc within me.

He scooted me closer to him and I let his arm snake around my waist, his chest felt too hard yet very welcoming to sulk in as he raised an innocent yet confused gaze at the stunned guy in front of us. Hindi ako makatingin ng maayos kay Bien, so I only looked at him through my peripheral vision.

"Hey Bien, what's taking you so long?!" Someone from their table shouted. I might know them by names and by faces but it would take long enough for me to recognize their voices.

"So next time, Jimin-ssi. Nice seeing you here,"

From my peripheral vision, I saw Bien smile warmly at us before lending an arm towards Jimin Seeing that Bien was a bit older compare to Jimin and their group had been on run before BTS had ever started operating, Jimin gave his respect to his senior. He accepted his hand, shook it before bowing lightly. Humarap din si Jimin sa mga lalaking nasa mesa para yumuko at magbigay-galang.

Isang sulyap pa ang ibinigay sa akin ni Bien bago siya bumalik sa mesa nila. And with that swift and quick eye contact with him, I took my chance to give him an apologetic look as I mentally said…

Let's not see each other again.

"Bien is a good friend," ani Jimin habang inililiko niya sa parking lot ng pamilyar na gusali ang sasakyan. Hindi pa man ako nakakabawi sa kabiglaan sa sinabi niya ay naguguluhan na ako sa mga nangyayari.

Bakit kami nandito sa Bighit building?

"Jimin, why are we here?" I ridiculously asked him while he was turning the engine off. Nakalimutan ko tuloy ang isasagot ko sa sinabi niya pero hinayaan ko na iyon dahil hindi iyon ang mahalaga ngayon.

Nilingon niya ako. Seryoso ang mga mata at puno ng determinasyon, kaya kumalabog ang dibdib ko para sa mga posibleng bagay na tumatakbo sa isipan niya ngayon.

"We will put an end to everything, Hanselle-ssi. People should know the truth," aniya sa desididong tinig.

Unti-unting nalaglag ang panga ko nang mapagtanto ang kung anumang binabalak niyang gawin, at dahil sa gulat ay pinanood ko lang siya nang inabot niya ang travelling bag na dala namin mula sa backseat. He fished out some stuff from the bag. Mask, cap, shades and a bigger jacket than what I was wearing.

Hindi ko maintindihan. Okay naman ako sa setup namin. Oo, madalas akong naaapektuhan sa mga isyu sa pagitan nila ni Sally na mga wala namang katotoohanan pero nagagawa ko namang tiisin ang lahat ng iyon.

This… what he was planning to do was not good.

Malungkot ko siyang pinagmasdan nang tahimik at banayad niyang isinusuot sa akin ang mask at cap na inilabas niya. I was seeing if I could still change his mind with my sad face but to no avail, he was really serious.

"Wear this," aniya sa mahinang tinig sabay abot sa akin ng jacket.

"Jimin," tawag ko sa kaniya sa mahina ring boses.

"Please, misseu." He pleaded with his glassy circles and hoarse voice. Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang suotin ang jacket na ibinigay niya. Ang huli niyang inabot sa akin ay ang black shades.

He was trying to protect me even in the middle of all this. That it was okay for him to get hurt just to protect me. He would go through the ordeal of fighting for me, being my shield even if it meant, he had to get hurt. And again, I had to ask this for the second time, just what did I do to deserve this man, to deserve him?

"Jimin, this isn't good…" I told him in a quivering lips as what was going to happen poured over me, waking me up to a reality that both awaited us.

Marahang hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at bahagyang hinaplos habang binibigyan ako ng matapang na tingin. How could he really look at me like that when he was about to stain his dreams, his career?

"You don't have to do anything, misseu. Let me handle everything," matapang niyang sabi. Damang-dama ko ang tigas sa bawat salitang pinakawalan niya na para bang desidido na siya. And I knew right there and then that I couldn't do anything to stop him from doing this. Para bang matagal na niyang pinag-isipan ito at sigurado siyang maganda ang kahihinatnan ng lahat.

He then opened the door in his side and went out of the car with only his clothes earlier, not enough to disguise his star-studded existence. Nagulat ako nang kalalabas pa lang niya ay dinumog na siya ng napakaraming tao na may dalang mga camera. Namilog ang mga mata ko dahil sa mga reporters na bigla na lang lumitaw sa kung saan.

Ganoon ba kaagaw pansin si Jimin o sadyang may mga reporters lang na pakalat-kalat dito at nagbabakasakali sa ilang scoop?

Na-tense ako habang pinapanood si Jimin na pinalilibutan ng maraming reporters pero pinipilit niya pa ring maka-ikot sa pinto ng front seat kung nasaan ako. At alam kong oras na buksan ni Jimin ang pinto ay mag-iiba na ang takbo ng lahat, kaya't agad kong pinindot ang button para mai-lock ang mga pinto.

No, I couldn't be seen with Jimin. I couldn't get out of this car if I wished to save Jimin and his career. Hindi ko siya mapapayagang i-risk ang lahat ng mayroon siya para lang sa akin. What if this wouldn't turn out well? He could lose everything… everything he had.

Nang marating niya ang pinto ay binuksan niya ito bago ko nakita ang pagkunot ng noo niya dahil malamang sa pagtataka kung bakit naka-lock. I could also see reporters talking to him but he was ignoring them.

Just go, Jimin.

Pinipilit niya pa ring buksan ang pinto habang sinusibukan akong aninagin. The soft taps he was making on the glass window was corresponding with the every beat of my chaotic heart. I knew, he couldn't see me from the outside since tinted ang salamin ng bintana. He was slightly tapping the window and when I lip-read his mouth saying… 'please', I gave in. I just had to…

My heart gave into his confidence and plans for us. I opened the door with my heart drumming with fear but I couldn't fail him. He seemed so ready for this. Bibiguin ko ba siya? Sinabi niyang hayaan ko siyang gawin ang lahat, ibig sabihin, kailangan ko lang magtiwala. I just needed to trust him. And I would.

He slowly pulled the door opened just as my heart wielded louder beats than ever. Agad niyang nahanap ang kamay ko para alalayan akong bumaba, saka pa lang nabigyang buhay sa pandinig ko ang mga boses ng mga tao. Flashes of cameras blinded us. Sounds of clicks invaded my ear. But above all, the feeling of protection that Jimin had provided me was overpowering all of those.

He just held my hand and I felt like no one could hurt me, not this people, not even the world.

Saglit na gulat lang ang ipinakita ng mga tao bago nila kami muling binato ng mga tanong na hindi ko maintindihan. Cameras were shoved our way too and so the wave of people. Jimin held the hood of my jacket and softly hooked it around my head, covering my face. He gently put his arms around me as he covered me with his body, against the people, against the cameras.

Singhapan muli ang narinig ko dahil sa ginawa niyang iyon, at nakakatakot isipin ang mga posibleng mga bagay na tumatakbo na ngayon ay mga isipan ng mga taong ito, mga taong hindi magdadalawang isip na isulat ang lahat ng nakikita nila para pagpiyestahan ng mga netizens.

We walked towards the building, swarmed and crowded by a lot of people trying to meddle with our life. Mabuti na lang at may mga lalaki ang biglang lumitaw at agad na hinawi ang mga reporters sa daraanan namin. Staffs malamang ng Bighit ang mga ito lalo na at madali nilang nakilala si Jimin dahil hindi naman siya naka-disguise.

We managed to get inside the building, that was after the reporters had got more photos of us that would surely bomb the showbiz industry. Nagtungo kami sa elevator at dinala kami nito sa nineteenth floor, as usual. Paglabas namin ay agad kaming dumiretso sa isang silid. It was so familiar to me though I had only been here once.

Long table, chairs lined up at each sides and a white projection board in front. There were people already occupying those seats, all heads turned when we showed up. Naroon ang buong BTS at namukhaan ko ang kanilang manager na naka-upo sa pinakadulong upuan.

My system froze at the sight of his intimidating presence. The man had always been intimidating for me. Nanunuyo ang lalamunan ko habang ibinababa ko ang tingin ko mula sa kaniya dahil hindi ko kayang titigan ng matagal ang mukha niya. Kahit nang binati ni Jimin ang mga taong nadatnan namin ay wala pa rin sa kaniya ang atensyon ko kung hindi nasa kanilang manager pa rin. Kahit nang yumuko si Jimin at kahit nang sumagot ang kanilang manager at nagsalita sa salitang Korean. Kahit nang bumati rin ang ibang miyembro ng BTS.

I just wanted be buried deep down the ground because of the stares I was getting from their manager. Gusto ko na lang na magkubli sa likod ni Jimin at huwag nang lumabas, pero kung gagawin ko iyon, para ko na ring iniwan si Jimin habang ipinaglalaban niya ang kung anong mayroon kami.

The coldness of my system melted away when I felt his soft hand on my cold and stiff one, softly gripping mine as he lightly dragged me towards the vacant seats, just across his co-members and beside where manager Sejin was seated.

Muli niyang pinaramdam sa akin iyong tapang na kahit anumang mangyari, kakayanin namin pareho dahil sabay kaming lumalaban, at na kahit na gaano man kahirap, hindi niya ako bibitawan, na kailangan ko lang din kumapit ng mahigpit. We would endure, and we would survive. We would.

Tahimik lang ako nang magsimulang magsalita si manager Sejin. I remained silent. Wala akong maintindihan sa mga sinasabi niya pero kinakabahan ako dahil sa bigat at lalim ng boses niya.

"We are not restricting you from being in a relationship. We didn't have a rule that you are not allowed to have a girlfriend," mariing wika ni manager Sejin. His eyes were directed to us, to Jimin, shooting fear to my system all over again.

Gustuhin ko mang titigan ang mga mata niya ay masyadong matalim ang mga iyon. Nanatiling tahimik ang ibang BTS, ramdam kong tensiyonado rin sila sa mga nangyayari. I suddenly felt guilty for they were being held here too because of us.

"But we don't tolerate your reckless actions."

Naguluhan ako nang sabay-sabay na sumulyap sina Namjoon kay Jimin ng may pagtataka. It was like, just like me, the were just as clueless. At ang tanging mga taong nagkakaintindihan lang sa loob ng silid na ito ay sina Jimin at manager Sejin.

Sana lang hindi pinapagalitan ni manager Sejin si Jimin kahit na pakiramdam ko, iyon talaga ang nangyayari.

"I am deeply sorry for the commotion that happened a while ago," Jimin then said in a formal manner. Sinalubong niya ang mga mata ni manager Sejin at walang takot na tumitig. Sa sobrang kaba ko ay hindi pa nakatulong nang makita kong eksasperadong nagpakawala ng buntong-hininga ang manager nila. He then harshly combed his hair with his fingers and stared problematically at us, Jimin and me.

Nanigas ako sa kinauupuan ko. Gusto kong gumalaw para magtago sa likod ni Jimin pero masyadong malakas ang pressure ng mga titig ni niya na pinapanatili ako nitong hindi makagalaw. Tensely, I played with my fingers under the table and all I could do was to avoid his stares. Yumuko ako saka mariing kinagat ang pang-ibabang labi ko.

Ito iyong pakiramdam na nasa court ako bilang akusado at hindi ko alam kung anong kasalanan ko, pero inaamin kong guilty ako.

"That is not the big problem, Park Jimin. The problem here is how can you stop the media from thinking that you cheated on Sally!" Halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang magtaas ng boses si manager Sejin ngunit nanatili akong nakayuko.

I just hoped he was not shouting at Jimin when I knew, he was. At nakaka-inis lang dahil wala akong maintindihan. I knew I would be hurt to hear bad mouths from him to Jimin but I wouldn't forgive him if he was really badmouthing my boyfriend.

Naiintindihan ko ring manager siya ng BTS at may karapatan siyang magalit dahil sa nangyari sa labas ng Bighit building kanina pero hindi ko gugustuhing malaman pa kung ano ang mga pinagsasabi niya ngayon.

"Manager hyung, what happened? Why are we really called here for?" Mukhang hindi na napigilan ni Namjoon na manahimik na lang. Nang nag-angat ako ng tingin ay nakita kong nagtatanong ang mga matang nagpapalipat-lipat ang tingin niya kay manager Sejin at Jimin. The others just remained silent but they all looked confused and very curious.

What could manager Sejin and Jimin were talking about then?

"I want to stop pretending that I have a relationship with Sally. I can't afford to fraud the people anymore. And I want to introduce the girl I truly love," banayad ngunit mariing wika ni Jimin. Kumalabog ang puso ko nang lumingon siya sa akin, na para bang sa ikalawang pagkakataon, gusto niyang ipakita sa akin kung gaano siya kadesidido na ipaglaban ang kung anong mayroon kami.

For awhile, I thought we were alone in this room, not until I heard manager Sejin sighing loudly in defeat and his friends snickering and teasing voices.

"And I hope you give me that chance. We started from being true to ourselves. That's what you've always taught us. That's the foundation of BTS. I really hope you understand," muling sabi ni Jimin na agad sinang-ayunan ng mga kagrupo niya.

Nakita ko pa ang bahagyang pagpalakpak ni Jungkook at ang sunod-sunod na pagtango ni Taehyung. Jin and Namjoon were nodding curtly too. Hoseok was smiling proudly at Jimin and Yoongi was just giving us a small smile. After getting those response from his co-members, Jimin slowly stood up. Nginitian niya muna ang kanilang manager bago siya unti-unting yumuko rito. His body bending forward in a complimentary angle.

That was how you show your respect to someone, that was how you ask forgiveness to someone, in a sincere manner.

Sinulyapan ko si manager Sejin at napaka-aga pa para magsaya pero hindi ko mapigilan ang puso ko sa pagsasaya nang makita siyang unti-unting tumango habang gumuguhit sa mga labi niya ang isang pinipigil na ngiti. I didn't understand any of their talks, but that nod and smile from their manager meant something good, I knew. Lalo na nang nagsitayuan sina Namjoon at nilapitan si Jimin para bigyan ng yakap.

"It is wrong to force you to pretend being in a relationship with Sally. I'm sorry," manager Sejin said smiling as he watched his BTS. The boys he trained, the boys he watched grew in front of his eyes and the boys he taught so many good things to use in life.

I knew, because I had been walking with them.

Nang dumako sa akin ang mga mata ni manager Sejin ay saka ko pa lang muling naramdamang ang kabang hatid ng presensiya niya na kahit nginitian niya ako ay hindi ko magawang ngumiti pabalik.

"Nice meeting you again, Miss," aniya saka siya tumayo.  It had been months also, hindi pa maganda ang huli naming pagkikita. Iyon iyong araw naglayas ako sa bahay ng BTSA dahil sa balita tungkol kay Sally at Jimin.

Halos iilag ko ang sarili ko mula sa kaniya nang maglahad siya ng kamay sa akin. He was on the edge of the table and just an arm away from us. Matagal kong tinitigan ang kamay niya habang nilalamon na naman ako ng intimidasyon.

"It's okay, Hanselle-ssi. He's harmless," natatawang sabi ni Namjoon.

Nang nilingon ko sila ay pare-pareho silang amused na nakatingin sa akin. Babawiin na sana ni manager Sejin ang kamay niya nang mabilis akong tumayo at inangat ang kamay ko para tanggapin ang kamay niya.

"Same h-here," I answered and nervously shook his hand. Sana lang hindi niya naramdaman ang panginginig ng kamay ko. Pagkatapos ay naramdaman ko ang marahang pag-ikot ng braso ni Jimin sa baywang ako habang hinihila ako palapit sa kaniya. And in front of his co-members and his manager, he kissed me on top of my head, making me blush crimson.

"My girlfriend is so pretty," he whispered while half-hugging me softly. I lightly hit his chest for making me blush all over again.

"I'll be calling for a conference. You all don't have to be there. It's your break so just enjoy it but Jimin, you might get a sudden call from the President, I want you to be ready," ani manager Sejin at muli silang nag-usap sa Korean language na ayaw ko nang pakinggan pa dahil sumasakit na ang ulo ko.

Nang lumabas kami ng Bighit building ay sa lobby pa lang sinalubong na kami ng napakaraming reporters. BTS shielded me from the cameras and from the people until we reached their service van.

I was sure, I would be again in Korean news, tabloids and televisions. But I didn't mind because this time, it was for real.