Chapter Seventy-one

Napanganga ako nang makitang inalalabas niya ang dalawang two-wheeler vehicle and one of the alien things for me. Kulay asul ang isa at kulay pink naman ang isa, both again matching our clothes. I felt like he really did plan all this.

"I want to show you what I always do when I'm home," nakangiting sabi sa akin ni Jimin habang inaabot sa akin ang kulay pink na bisikleta na hindi naman kalakihan hindi tulad ng madalas kong napapanood sa mga K-Drama. Nakasabit sa kanang controller nito ang kulay pink ding helmet, I guessed for safety measures.

Seriously, I had never seen bicycles this close, not in exaggeration but bicycles were not a thing for me.

"Then why did you bring two bicycles?" I confusedly asked while still looking at the bicycle, unsure how it worked. Sure, sinasakyan ito ng mga tao pero kahit kailan ay hindi pa ako nakakasakay ng bisikleta, much less ang makakita ng ganito sa malapitan.

"We are riding together," he casually said, sounding as if that was just so possible. Of course, to others, it might! But not when it came to me! Ni hindi niya ako nilingon dahil abala siya sa pagsusuot ng helmet niya

"I can't ride that," I blandly said as I sent the bike a foreign look, holding onto the controller tightly.

Gulat niya akong nilingon na laglag ang panga. Now, he was staring at me ridiculously. Malamang iniisip niya, hindi na makatarungan ang dami ng mga bagay na hindi ko kayang gawin. Spare me this one though. My parents didn't really like us near bicycles before. They didn't want us riding such. Hindi lang ako ang hindi marunong mag-bike, even my sister. I didn't know if my brother didn't learn riding bicycles but the rule also applied to him.

"You can't or you don't know?" taka niyang tanong saka umayos ng tayo hawak naman ang bicycle niya.

Ngumuso ako at pinakatitigan siya. "Both," tapat kong sagot.

His jaw dropped even more with his shoulder. Oh come, on! This shouldn't surprise him anymore when he already knew a lot of things I couldn't do. Baka kapag nalaman niyang wala pa sa kalahati ng listahan ng mga hindi ko kayang gawin ang mga alam niya ay di na niya kayanin.

There were still a lot actually. Kaya't lubos ang gulat ko nang ideklara niyang tuturuan niya ako. We went to the park just neat their house, both of us dragging our bicycles along a luckily, silent and deserted road. Aniya ay madalas raw niyang puntahan ang park ng ganitong oras para lang mag-bike at makalanghap ng sariwang hangin. He said he was too caught up with Seoul's polluted air so he loved as he missed the fresh air of Busan.

Hindi ko alam kung ikalulungkot ko ba iyon o ano. Siyempre, with the status of life he had, he could only go here at night when people were already in their houses and sleeping, when he should enjoy his stay here while the sun was still up with the a lot of people. That was how normal people did it.

Kaya't kahit hindi ko rin gusto ang ideya na mag-ba-bike ako dahil pakiramdam ko susuwayin ko ang mga magulang ko ay pinagbigyan ko si Jimin.

Firstly, he showed me how he did it. Nakadalawang ikot siya sa kabuuan ng park bago siya huminto at itinayo ang bike niya sa isang tabi malapit sa bench na inuupuan ko. He dragged the pink bike right in front me while breathing unevenly but calmly. Kinuha niya ang pink na helmet at banayad na inabot sa akin.

Agad ko itong sinuot. Wala na itong ibang safety gears bukod sa helmet pero sa tingin ko ay sapat naman na ito. Only stupids wouldn't get how easy it was to ride a bike. Mukhang madali lang naman base sa nakita kong ginawa niya.

"Should you try it now?" he asked me, giving me a courageous smile. Masaya akong tumango bilang tugon. Hinayaan niya ako makasakay sa bike. Luckily, abot ng mga paa ko ang sahig kahit na naka-upo na ako. Hindi naman kasi kataasan ang bike at normal lang para sa mga katulad kong hindi naman matangkad. "You should step on the pedals and I will hold you behind," aniya sa likod ko nang naghahanda na ako kaya bahagya akong tumango ulit.

Ganoon nga ang ginawa namin. Sinubukan kong mag-pedal at nasa likod siya hawak ang likod na parte ng bike. Excited akong nag-pedal habang hawak ng mahigpit ang controller. I almost stumbled down at first attempt when the bike turned violently sideways. Na-ibaba ko ang mga paa ko para huminto at nakangangang tinititigan ko ang controller.

What the heck…? I thought it was easy!

"You should take control of it, misseu. And only look ahead of you."

Naramdaman ko ang boses ni Jimin sa likod ko na nagpaalala sa aking hindi niya ako hahayaang matumba kaya tumango ako at muling sinubukan, following his advice. I stepped on the pedals again and took control of the holder. Paminsan-minsan ay na-ililiko ko ng sobra sa magkabilang gilid ang controller pero mukhang kailangan ko atang bigyan ng limit ang lakas na ibinibigay ko sa pagliko. Naka-isang ikot kami nang huminto kami pareho. Agad kong ibinaba ang mga paa ko sa sahig at agad na nilingon si Jimin.

A proud smile pasted on his plump lips as his eyes went missing again. Kaya napangiti rin ako ng sobrang lapad, feeling very overwhelmed and satisfied. I had never felt this way before. It was like I succeeded reaching something I so liked to achieve.

"Can you do it without me?" tanong niya mayamaya.

Saglit akong napa-isip pero tumango rin kalaunan nang mapagtantong sa tingin ko ay kaya ko naman na. "I'll try," I saidconfidently. Naghanda na ako ngunit binigyan ko muna siya ng isang sulyap bago ko tapakan ang mga pedal. His encouraging look gave me confident and I had never been this confident in my entire life. Pakiramdam ko tuloy, kaya kong gawin lahat.

Just because he looked at me like that!

I focused on looking ahead and controlling the controller while continue working on the pedals, as he said. Ganoon lang hanggang sa maka-abot akong muli sa kaniya. Hindi naman masyadong mabilis ang pagpapatakbo ko since kakatuto ko pa lang naman. Sinalubong niya ako saka niya hinawakan ang controller para mahinto ang bike. Agad ko namang ibinaba ang mga paa ko saka malapad siyang nginitian.

"I did it!" hindi makapaniwalang sabi ko sa kaniya. Malakas ang tibok ng puso ko dahil sa pinaghalong saya at pagiging proud sa sarili ko. I didn't know why my parents didn't want us to ride a bike but I could say, there was nothing wrong about it.

"Of course! You really can really do it in the first place!" proud na sabi ni Jimin saka ngumiti rin ng malapad sa akin. Hinawakan niya ang parte ng helmet na nasa baba ko para itaas ang mukha ko at tinaniman niya ng mabilis na halik ang mga labi ko.

I smiled wider. That just gave me more confident and satisfaction. "Go get your bike. Let's have a match!" I challenged him that he willingly accepted, so we had a race but then, since he was a pro at this, of course he won!

Huminto lang kami pareho nang makaramdam kami pareho ng gutom at pagod, we were very hyper and very loud to be honest, I was afraid we had woken up the other residents. Kinailangan niyang magtungo sa malapit na convenient store para bumili ng makakain namin at tahimik ko naman siyang hinintay. Alas-diyes na sa wrist watch na suot kong set pa ang oras sa Philippines time, so probably, alas-onse na rito.

Seemed like we really had fun tonight. Gusto ko pang gumawa ng mga random things kasama si Jimin, I would put up with anything for as long as he was with me. Be it simple, grand or anything.

Tahimik kaming kumain nang dumating siya habang naka-upo sa isa sa mga bench sa park. Ang mga bicycles na ginamit namin ay nakatayo sa gilid namin. I understood why we were still not going home. He wanted to spend every second with me since tomorrow, I would be leaving for Philippines.

Ngayon pinagsisisihan ko tuloy kung bakit mas pinili ko pang sorpresahin siya gayong mas mabuti sana kung ang mga araw na nilagi namin dito bago ang fan meeting ay inilaan ko na lang sana sa kaniya. But then, it all happened. Might as well spend our remaining times together.

"Hanselle-ssi…" tawag niya sa kalagitnaan ng tahimik naming pagkain. His voice was low yet very soft. Nilingon ko siya habang sumisipsip ako sa binili niyang pineapple juice para sa akin. "About what happened last night…" He spilled, his voice now was filled with hesitation and fear.

Halos maubo ako sa sinabi niya kung hindi ko lang na-isara agad ang bibig ko, mahigpit kong kinagat ang straw kasabay rin ng paghihigpit ng hawak ko sa inumin ko. Hindi naman sa kinakalimutan ko na ang mga nangyari kagabi. Siyempre, hindi puwede iyon, pero ayaw ko na lang muna isipin ang tungkol doon lalo na at naiisip ko kung gaano kalaki at kahalagang bagay ang nawala sa akin.

Though, I was not regretting everything.

Oh, please, be used of my paradoxical personality! I didn't regret it because I did it with the man I loved. I did it with him, with Jimin. Isa pa, sex is now a normal thing to couples, though I really found it awkward to talk about.

"If I only hold the time, I am going to marry you," seryoso niyang sabi habang seryosong nakatitig sa akin. His eyes were both a reflection of sincerity and fondness.

Mas dumiin ang pagkakakagat ko ng straw dahil nilulunod ako hindi lang ng mga mata niya kung hindi maging ng mga sinasabi niya. We couldn't be talking about marriage right? That was just too serious, that was just too intense… that was just a too heavy and sensitive topic.

"But we know that the timing is not right. We are still young so I can only promise you love, for now."

I felt my heart stop working or it was just beating so fast that I felt numb, I couldn't feel anything. Ni hindi ko alam ang isasagot sa kaniya. I had heard of his promises and he had never failed with them. So I knew, he was serious with this one but why was it that I was hurting?

Did too much love hurt? Did I already reach the greatest? Kung ito na iyon, then why was it so painful? Or was it just too much to handle? Or maybe, did we cross a line we shouldn't cross?

Naramdaman ko ang hinlalaking daliri niyang banayad na humahaplos sa pisngi ko. Was it really possible to feel a greatest love this young? Kasi kung ito na nga talaga, kahit na gaano pa kabata ang puso ko para sa lahat ng ito, kung ito na nga talaga, gaya nga ng sabi ko noon, kakayanin ko. Because I only wanted to feel the greatest love with him.

"I will take full responsibility of you not because we did it. I will take responsibility of you 'cause I love you and because we both wanted what happened," madamdamin niyang sinabi na para bang gusto niyang ipahatid sa akin na hindi mali ang ginawa namin at damang-dama kong hindi ako nag-iisa. That he was with me all through this.

They said, you only take responsibility over the wrong things you've done but then no… I would contradict, because you take responsibility for all the things you've willingly done.

Paulit-ulit akong tumango sa kaniya kahit na sobra-sobra nang sumasakit ang dibdib ko at walang tigil ang paglandas ng mga luha galing sa mga mata ko. I would endure, my heart would endure for the greatest love. For him.

"We'll do it together, Jimin. You can't take the responsibility alone. We both wanted it, we both made it happen, we will take responsibility together," I firmly said in a hoarse voice.

And maybe, as a witness to that pledge, little drops of rain slowly wet us.

Bumalik kami sa bahay na parehong basang-basa. Kahit na naka-jacket kami pareho at naka-helmet ay basang-basa pa rin kami dahil sa biglaang pagbagsak ng malakas na ulan. Tahimik ang buong kabahayan so I assumed his parents were already sleeping. His brother too and maybe all the maids. It was already midnight so it really was.

"Come here," ani Jimin pagkalabas ko ng banyo.

Pina-una ko na siyang maligo dahil ayaw kong magkasakit siya, ganoon din ang naisip niya kaya't sinabi niyang mauna na ako. Nagpilitan pa kami, kung hindi niya lang sinabi na puwede naman daw siyang maligo sa kabilang kuwarto ay hindi niya ako mapipilit na pumasok sa banyo.

Paglabas ko ay naka-upo na siya sa kama, his black hair was a bit damp and he already was wearing a white shirt and a black boxer. That was not his usual sleep clothes so I had to raise a brow at him.

"Come here, I will blower your hair," aniya sabay angat ng hair blower na ngayon ko lang napansing hawak niya.

Hindi ko na pinansin ang suot niya at nagtungo ako sa gilid ng kama, sa harap niya saka naupo. I let him blower my hair. Napapapikit ako sa tuwing banayad na dumadampi ang kamay niya sa batok ko at sa anit ko tuwing sinusuklay niya gamit ang kamay niya ang buhok ko.

"How do you like my hair long? Should I color it?" tanong ko sa kaniya sa gitna ng katahimikan at ang tanging maririnig lang ay ang ingay ng blower.

"I love it just however you do it. I love it even if it's still short," sagot niya.

Hindi rin ako nagpapakulay ng buhok. Isa rin iyon sa hindi gusto ni Mamang. She just always pampered my hair. Ideya niya ang maiksing style ng buhok ko noon. Hindi naman masyadong itim ang buhok ko. It had little shades of brown. Natural iyon. My sister had short hair too, and well, natural Brazilian since she was a sophisticated and fashionable bratinella.

"Why did you change your hair color then?" tanong ko nang maalala naman ang buhok niya. Though, naiisip ko nang maaaring para ito sa susunod na comeback nila pero gusto ko pa ring marinig iyon mula sa kaniya. Lalo na at ang black hair niya ang pinaka-favorite ko sa lahat.

"For our next comeback. It has to be black for the concept," sagot niya.

Tama nga ako. So Taehyung's gray hair and Yoongi's blue hair were for their comeback too?

"Why black?" tanong ko pa rin. Puwede kaya niya akong i-spoil ng tungkol sa comeback nila? I doubted it. It had to be confidential so I understood.

"Our new theme is about loving yourself. We want to show people how we do it. It's black since I want it real. It's my natural hair color," sagot niyang ngayon ay banayad na sinusuklay ang buhok ko.

Unti-unti akong napatango. Ni hindi man lang siya nagdalawang-isip na sabihin sa akin. So ibig sabihin, ang mga buhok nina Taehyung at Yoongi ay pansamantala lang? Or they really decided to have those colors for their comeback since personal choice naman yata.

"I love it. I've always loved your black hair. I've always wished for you to bring it back," nangingiti kong sabi dahil matagal ko ngang hiniling na sana ibalik na niya ang itim niyang buhok. Nahinto siyang bigla sa pag-bo-blower ng buhok ko. Lumilipad tuloy sa mukha ko ang ilang hibla galing sa likod na hinahangin ng naka-steady na blower. "Jimin!" natatawang sabi ko nang makain ko ang ilang hibla ng buhok ko.

"Miahn!" He apologized and continued drying my hair. "You just stunned me, misseu. Why would you say that suddenly?"

Nagkibit-balikat ako habang nangingiti. "It's true. You're handsome with any hair color but I really like it when it's black…" Ngumuso ako bago magpatuloy, "You look hot," dagdag ko sabay pigil ng tawa at dahil nasa likod ko siya at hindi niya ako nakikita.

Muli na naman siyang napahinto. When I thought, I was in control of the situation, I just found myself being pinned down the bed with him on top of me, staring at me intently. I could feel his body heavily pressed against mine.

"Say that again." He challenged in his stern voice.

"W-What…?" I hardly pursed my lips as I just barely uttered that. Sa lapit naming dalawa, mahahalikan na niya ako. And we weren't really in a nice position. Things could be triggered and before that happened, I needed him to get off me before… before things got out of hand. And I was serious.

"Say that again, that…" He looked at me, troubled.

Mariin akong umiling. "Get off me." I told him, ignoring the heat and the insects he brought my insides.

"I look what?" Nanliit ang mga mata niya.

Oh, Jimin! Stop tempting me!

"Cute?" I stared at him, grinning. Nakangangang napatitig siya sa akin at nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang umikot siya pahiga sa tabi ko. Agad akong bumangon at matalim siyang tinitigan. "Stop triggering something!" saway ko sa kaniya.

He looked at me, confused. Pa-inosente pa! We were just in deep trouble awhile ago!

"You should stop saying things," natatawang sabi niya at bumangon na rin. Kinuha niya ang blower na naiwan sa isang parte ng kama. Niligpit niya iyon dahil tapos na rin naman naming gamitin. Bumalik siya sa kama at humiga, iyon ay matapos niya ako hilahin pahiga rin. Naka-unan ako sa braso niya at nakasiksik sa kaniya.

It was funny how I could smell the scent of the shower gel I just used when we used different bathrooms. O baka kagaya sa bahay ay pare-pareho rin sila ng shower gel na ginagamit?

Inamoy niya ang buhok ko. "I love your natural scent but I love it more when you smell like mine," bulong niya sa paos niya tinig.

Hinampas ko ang dibdib niya at bahagyang lumayo sa kaniya. Sa mismong ulunan ako umunan para hindi ko na ulit maramdaman ang init na pinaramdam niya sa akin kanina. The same heat he had me burning into last night.

"You should behave. No extra activities while sleeping," I warned him which he just submissively nodded, though he pulled me again towards him as he wrapped his one arm around me. With his hot breath fanning my neck, his heavy arm guarding my body and his cold feet brushing against mine, I got drowned into a deep and peaceful slumber.

"Ippi-yah." Malungkot na tinawag ng nanay ni Jimin si Ippi dahil mukhang ayaw nitong paalisin si Jimin. The dog had been snuggled against Jimin's feet

"Jigs! Come here and get Ippi!" malakas na sabi ni Tita Celine—she told me to call her that—bago lumabas mula sa bahay ang kapatid ni Jimin. Dumiretso si Jigs sa asong nasa mga paa pa rin ni Jimin. Dinampot niya ito at marahang kinarga. He then stared at Jimin who was just beside me before his eyes darted to me, looking darkly at me.

Nag-iwas agad ako ng tingin. Kung may pagkakaiba man si Jimin sa kapatid niya, iyon ay mas mukha itong seryoso. He always stared intensely and very deeply. Animo ay laging galit sa kaharap gayong si Jimin ay napakalambot makitungo.

"You should take care! Make sure to come back here soon! Someday, we'll visit Philippines for your family!" magiliw na sabi ni Tita Celine na hindi ko na tinutulan pa, sa halip ay nakangiting tumango na lang ako.

Nagpaalam din sa amin ang tatay ni Jimin sa wikang Korean na hindi ko naman naintindihan at pagkatapos ay hiniyaan na nila kaming makaalis.

That was it. That was it for meeting his family and staying at their house.

Almost lunch na nang makabalik kami Seoul kaya nagpasya kaming kumain muna. Gaya kahapon, pinili niya ang isang hindi kalakihang restaurant at medyo tago ang lokasyon para sa seguridad namin pareho. This time, sa isang barbecue restaurant kami napadpad. I was happy thinking we would be grilling some meats like I often saw in dramas. Though masyadong inappropriate ang beer sa ganitong oras kaya nakontento na lang kami sa soda.

Tinatanggihan ko siya tuwing susubuan niya ako ng lettuce na may lamang grilled meat at ilang gulay. Ang akala niya siguro ay hindi ko nakita ang paglalagay niya ng mga gulay rito. Lettuce was a bit fine but not the other vegetable slices!

"That's a lot of vegetables." Tumanggi ako.

"Lettuce. It's healthy," aniya sa pag-asang tatanggapin ko iyon pero umiling lang ako at tinusok ng tinidor ang piraso ng karne sa griller na luto na. Hinipan ko muna ito bago isinubo. He just sighed at that. Gusto talaga niya akong pakainin ng gulay. He was serious about it.

"When will you learn to eat vegetables?" he asked, again in a crossed brows, putting meats on that lettuce leaf and some other vegetables. Para bang napakalaking problema para sa kaniya ang hindi ko pagkain ng gulay.

"Maybe, never?" I answered, teasing him, but it was meant. Matalim niya akong tiningnan na nginisian ko lang. Isinubo niya ng buo ang ginawa niyang pagkain at padabog na nginuya.

Oh, your fans would be happy to see you eating that much!

Ni hindi alam ng mga taong nandito ngayon na ang nakakasabay nilang kumain sa restaurant na ito ay si Park Jimin ng BTS.

Nilibot ko ang tingin sa paligid. Most of the customers here were oldies, some were solo flights and some were just in mid-forties. Nadako ang tingin ko sa isang mesa kung nasaan ang grupo ng ilang kalalakihang, sa unang tingin ay iisipin kong mga estudyante lang. They were quite a few since they occupied that long table.

Unti-unti akong napapanganga habang unti-unti ring rumirehistro sa utak ko kung sino ang mga lalaking iyon, lalo na nang madako ang mga mata ko sa isa sa mga ito at nakatingin na ito sa akin. He must be surprised to see me here or he was just confused as to why I was familiar to him. Mas gusto ko na lang ang huli.

I just hoped he didn't remember me! Oh please! Bakit naman kailangan pang ipasok si Bien at ang buong LUX sa buhay ko ngayon? O baka naman nagkataon lang ito at hindi ko na dapat pang bigyan ng kahulugan?

Should I pretend I didn't recognize him?