Chapter Sixty-two
["Misseu, we are back in Korea."]
Napangiti ako nang marinig kong muli ang malamyos at malambot na boses ni Jimin matapos ang mahabang panahong hindi namin pag-uusap. Dinampot ko ang maliit na bola sa mesa ko na siyang stress reliever ko. I kicked the floor to twirl my swivel chair as I felt my heart twirling in a turmoil too.
Crap, I missed his voice!
"I know. You've been all over my feeds," sagot kong hindi nawawala ang malapad na ngiti sa mga labi ko.
Bago pa siya tumawag ay alam ko nang nasa Korea na sila galing Japan, tapos na ang concert nila at maraming mga airport photos nila ang nagkalat na sa feeds ko. I was just actually waiting for his call, at hindi naman niya ako binigo.
["Oh, really? My girlfriend is my number one fan,"] aniya mula sa kabilang linya. I could hint the obvious giddiness and boasting through his tone, I could even imagine him grinning widely.
Napanguso ako habang mas humihigpit ang hawak ko sa phone ko dahil alam na alam talaga niya ang bagay na iyon. He should! He should also know how lucky, very lucky I felt because he was mine. "That's right! I needed all the updates about you since we couldn't contact each other," sagot ko habang pinaglalaruan ko ang bolang nasa isang kamay ko.
Nataranta ako kanina nang tumunog ang phone ko at makita ko ang combination ng mga numero niya sa screen, kahit na hinihintay ko talaga ang tawag niya. Matagal kaming hindi nagkausap at matagal na nanahimik ang number niya sa phone ko at pakiramdam ko kanina, nilayasan ako ng sarili ko. He was still very illegal for me and his effects to me was no joke, so he should take it slow.
["I'm sorry for that, misseu. I miss you so much. Can I see you?"] He sounded so desperate as I felt my heart pound even more harder. Kung alam lang niya kung gaano ko rin siya ka-miss, hindi sasapat ang isang buong araw para punan ang pagka-miss ko sa kaniya.
I knew, I was getting even more greedy again. Naisip ko tuloy na baka wala pa siyang pahinga, hindi man halata sa boses niya, alam kong masyadong nakakapagod ang mga ginawa nila sa Japan. I wondered if the first thing he did when they arrived home was to call me.
I silently sighed. Of course I missed him too, like so much. I wanted to see him too very badly but his health came first before my whims and greed. Isa pa, hindi kami puwedeng mag-video chat dito ngayong nasa office ako. Mas gugustuhin ko na lang na isakripisyo ang kagustuhan kong makita at maka-usap siya ng mas matagal pa para lang makapagpahinga siya.
"Nah-uh…" Umiling ako kahit hindi niya nakikita. "I'm at work. I miss you too, Jimin, so much but I think you should rest first," sagot ko sa kaniya at inikot nang muli ang upuan ko paharap sa desktop ko. I put the ball back on its corner as I hardly pursed my lips, restricting myself to tell him how I still wanted to talk to him and see him very badly too.
It always took me so much resistance from Jimin. I badly wanted to see him, even only through the screen but I couldn't afford him to deprive himself a rest he deserved just because of my own greed. I still could endure.
["Don't you miss me, misseu?"] he suddenly asked in a low achy tone. Nagda-drama ba siya? Nagda-drama ba ang 'baby' ko dahil alam na alam niya ang sagot sa tanong niyang iyon?
Mas nahihirapan akong magpigil kapag ganyan siya. Sino bang makakatiis sa kaniya? Probably, not me, not my weak heart for him. Kaya hindi niya dapat ako ginaganyan dahil baka mapa-aga na talaga ang lipad ko pa-Korea.
"Jimin, I do…" Huminto ako, I needed to take a deep breath because crap, Jimin on the other line of the phone wasn't helping my chaotic heart right now. "I miss you so much, but I want you to rest first. Can you do that for me, hm…" I pursed my lips so hard before finally deciding to put down my last card. I knew I was going to regret this but if this was what it would only take, then let's get it on. "Hm baby?" I bit my lower lip real hard until my heart started going even wilder, to the point that I needed to clutch it or else, I would have a heart attack.
Now, Hanselle, shame to yourself! Where did you get that flirtatious confidence?! My inner Goddess teasingly smirked at me.
Mahigpit kong hinawakan ang phone ko saka mariing pumikit dahil damang-dama ko ang epekto ng mga pinaggagawa ko.
God, take me now! Mabilis kong panalangin dahil sa tagal nang pananahimik niya sa kabilang linya. W-Why…? It didn't turn out well? Hindi niya ba nagustuhan? Pero 'di ba… ganoon din naman ang itinatawag niya sa akin minsan? He called me 'baby' too kahit na hindi naman iyon ang endearment namin. We didn't have endearment to be honest, and now, I was embarrassed.
"Ah, Jim—" Babawiin ko na sana ang sinabi ko dahil hiyang-hiya ako sa sarili ko nang magsalita siya.
["C-Can you… can you say it again, baby?"] His soft voice came back with a package, anybody called it bedroom voice. Mukhang ibinulong lang niya iyon dahil sa hina at halos hangin lang ang narinig kong lumabas sa bibig niya.
Nanigas ako sa kinauupuan ko. Now, I was really regretting it. Naiintindihan ko na rin kung bakit siya natahimik kanina. I took him by surprise so he must have felt this way too. I was shook! He shook my insides!
"Jimin, just rest—"
["What is it, baby?"] He teased me in an obvious grinning face. And maybe yes, he felt this way too, he felt flushed.
Okay, for once and for all. Just say it once and be done with it.
"B-Baby… please have a rest." I barely uttered every word. Narinig ko ang mumunti niyang halakhak sa kabilang linya na mas lalong nagpabilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Those soft laughs from him were life, they were my lifeline. Too much to say but I was telling the truth. I could live forever just hearing his soft laughs.
He must have known that!
["De! Arasseo! Arasseo! I will call you later, hm baby. I love you so much,"] he softly said while I could still hint little laughs from his tone.
Tumango-tango ako kahit hindi niya nakikita at bahagyang nagpakawala ng buntong-hininga dahil sa sinabi niya. "I will wait. You should really rest, Jimin. Mahal kita," sagot ko. Alam niya ang mga salitang 'Mahal Kita' dahil bukod sa na-ituro ko na sa kaniya iyon, basic Filipino words lang naman ang mga iyon. Binanggit din nila ang mga salitang iyon noong nag-concert sila rito para sa mga Filipino ARMYs.
["Okay. I will hang up now,"] aniya.
Hindi na ako sumagot. Hinintay ko na lang na tapusin na niya ang tawag at nang marinig ko na ang ended tone ay ibinaba ko na ang phone ko. I immediately cupped my heating face after I put my phone on the table. Mabilis pa rin ang tibok ng puso ko at hindi makasabay ang paghinga ko. I probably wouldn't ever get used of it. Bago sa akin ang mga ganito. The endearments… I often read it in fictions.
Ganito pala ang feeling. So… so heart fluttering.
I slowly brought my hand to my chest and I lightly hit it. I often did this when I couldn't control the bottled feelings in my heart. Pakiramdam ko, kapag ginawa ko iyon, mababawasan ang intensidad na nararamdaman ko sa loob.
"So your boyfriend finally called." Halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang lumitaw si Chelsea sa gilid ko habang nakapameywang. She was looking at me with all her scrutinizing eyes but a teasing smile crept on her nude tinted lips.
Crap, I would really get a heart attack at this rate! Bakit ba siya nanggugulat? Hindi niya alam na kagagaling lang ng puso ko sa isang atake, my heart was still very sensitive and weak.
"Can you be more precised appearing in front of me, Chels?" Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na hininga habang hawak pa rin ang dibdib ko dahil sa gulat sa biglaan niyang paglitaw.
"Ow, mianh!" She grinned at me being insincere of her apology. "Balik na sa Korea ang BTS. Happy ka na?" She teased me even more.
I smiled genuinely at her, remembering Jimin. Tumango-tango ako. "More than happy."
Kinakabahan ako habang hinintay ko ang desisyon ni Miss Alecia. Nag-submit kasi ako sa kaniya ng leave form, vacation leave at that. Hindi ako sigurado kung papayagan niya ako.
Seven months ago, I had gone missing from work without a proper notice at all and it could still affect my requests. Kaya sobrang thankful ko nang pagbalik namin ni Chelsea from grabbing our lunch, I saw my approved leave form, signed by Miss Alecia and Director Maglaya. Effective ang vacation leave form ko next next week, sa eksaktong araw ng lipad namin ni Holly pa-Korea, since third week ng November magaganap ang fan meeting.
"So you will really go?" tanong sa akin ni Chelsea habang naka-upo siya sa passenger's seat ng kotse ko at maingat akong nag-da-drive.
My brother had once again asked me to drive his girlfriend to his firm. May branch ang firm nina Papang at Kuya Haynes sa Manila ngunit sa Valenzuela pa rin ang main branch since doon na-itayo ang pinaka-unang Ursula Law Firm. Si Papang ang nasa Valenzuela branch at si Kuya Haynes naman ang nasa Manila.
Nilingon ko siya nang saglit at agad din ibinalik sa daan ang tingin dahil kailangan kong magdoble ingat sa pagmamaneho. My brother would never let me live if something bad happened to Chelsea inside my car. I could still hear his faint reminder to me to drive safely.
"Yes. I can't take down my sister's whims," I answered Chelsea, focusing my eyes on the road. "Plus, my mother personally asked me this."
"Are you sure you just don't want to grab this chance to meet your boyfriend?" she rhetorically asked, tone sounded skeptical.
Humigpit ang hawak ko sa manibela at pinigilan ang sariling lingunin siya. Alam ni Mamang na may boyfriend ako at hindi iyon naging madali para sa kaniya. I didn't tell her that my boyfriend was an idol, that my boyfriend was one of BTS that she knew as just a group that my sister had been crazy for.
"I miss him, Chels. Can't I see him?" I knew I sounded desperate but I had endured enough, couldn't I get my reward? Hindi naman siguro masamang gamiting excuse ang kapatid ko para makita si Jimin, 'di ba? It was not as if it would harm my sister. It was not as if I would be benefiting alone… fine, I sounded very, very desperate.
"You know what, I'm starting to see how complicated the life you've gotten into. Be easy on yourself, Hanselle. You don't have to fool even yourself. Of course, you can see him. Do what pleases you," ani Chels saka niya hinawakan ang braso ko at bahagyang hinaplos.
Right after I agreed to go to Korea for my sister, I started fooling everyone even myself that I would be going because my mother asked me, because my sister wanted it, but no, I knew to myself that I couldn't just let this opportunity slip out of me. I wanted to see Jimin. I wanted to be with him again. Couldn't I?
"I'll go for him." I declared with a soft smile. Umani ako ng proud na ngiti mula sa kaniya. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang magbalik-tanaw sa mga nangyari noon.
It was her, it was us who really made all this possible. If it wasn't because of our crazy escapades back then, if it wasn't because of our adventurous and crazy escapades before then I wouldn't meet Jimin. We wouldn't be talking things like these.
Nalaman kong hindi ito ang unang pagkakataong nakatungtong si Chelsea sa firm ni Kuya Haynes. My brother's employees and co-lawyers already knew her, and as always, Chelsea got along with everyone. Well as for me, they knew me of course, but there wasn't a single conversation or even an interaction between me and Kuya's employees and co-lawyers happened ever since this firm was built.
They were so aloof of me… or was I just making them aloof? I didn't know really. Sabi ko nga, hindi ko ugaling mang-approach agad, unless you approach me first.
"Pinasasakit ng mga prosecutors ang ulo ko." Narinig kong sabi ni Kuya Haynes habang nasa likod niya si Chelsea at hinihilot ang sentido niya.
"Are you still handling the assault case? Akala ko ba madadaan iyon sa aregluhan?" kunot-noong tanong ni Chelsea.
Naka-upo lang ako sa couch sa loob ng office ni Kuya habang umiinom ng melon juice na pinatimpla pa ni Kuya sa secretary niya. Sinabi ko namang okay lang ako sa kahit na ano pero ipinilit niya pa rin, well, my brother knew that I liked melon juices.
May kaso pa lang hawak si Kuya ngayon. I didn't really know the rules and turns of laws, pero mukhang problemadong-problemado si Kuya. Iyon din malamang ang dahilan kaya wala na siyang time para sunduin si Chelsea.
"That was before. The prosecutors have to butt in since the victim is still in not good condition. Nasa hospital pa rin ito. Kung mas bubuti lang ang kalagayan niya, baka puwedeng humingi na lang ng tawad ang kliyente ko at ma-uwi sa pagbabayad na lang ng damages," problemadong sabi ni kuya.
"And if not?" Chelsea asked, she sounded really interested when I was getting sick just hearing all those cases I would never understand.
"My client will be sentenced years in prison, but of course, I'm not defending him only to get that verdict. Tsk, he should really get better. He should get better before the judge gives his verdict."
"He'll get better, Haynes. Don't worry."
Hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti, seeing how compatible they were with each other. I was not saying this because Chelsea was my friend and I hadn't met Kuya's previous girlfriends, but laws were beyond Chelsea's interest. She wouldn't listen to my brother with this sickening stuff if she didn't love him. Of course she did and that was why she was coping up with him.
Hindi pa ipinapakilala ni Kuya si Chelsea kina Mamang at Papang. I hoped he would introduce her to the family soon. I was sure, my family would love her too. My throat congested at that thought. My family would surely love Chelsea, they would accept her easily. But what if I introduced to them my boyfriend?
There was a fine line between my brother introducing Chelsea as his girlfriend to the family and I, introducing Jimin as my boyfriend to the family. Both entirely different cases but I would take time. I would give myself time as well as my family. I understood that Jimin wasn't just anyone I could easily introduce to my family.
He was an idol.
Matapos akong magpahinga saglit sa office ni Kuya ay agad na rin akong umalis. May lakad pa raw silang dalawa after Kuya's work. They both bided me goodbye. Nang lumabas ako ng office ni Kuya ay agad kong naramdaman ang kakaibang katahimikan. Nakayuko lang ako habang naglalakad patungo sa elevator dahil sa mga matang damang-dama kong nakatuon sa akin.
"She's really so reserved. Nakaka-intimidate super!" Hindi nakalagpas sa pandinig ko ang bulong na iyon. It came from a girl base on the pitch of the voice.
"Ano ka ba! Ganyan din naman si Attorney! It runs in the blood!"
"Sabagay, tama ka. Miss Hanselle is the girl version of Attorney."
"Just what you expect from rich people. They're well-mannered."
"Hindi naman lahat."
"Tingin niyo, may papasa kayang lalaki kay Miss Hanselle? I can't even look at her!"
I bit my lower lip as I silently prayed for the elevator to arrive faster. Hindi ako comfortable kapag pinag-uusapan ako. This wasn't the first time this happened. Ganito sa tuwing nagagawi ako rito sa firm ni Kuya. Pakiramdam ko tuloy napaka-outcasted ko. Para bang nakapaskil sa pagmumukha ko kung gaano ako ka-aloof kaya hindi sila lumalapit sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung mukha ko ba ang mali, ang pagkilos ko o ang buong pagkatao ko?
Seriously, did I look scary?
Unfortunately, since naipit ako sa traffic palabas ng Manila, alas-otso na ako nakarating sa bahay. Agad akong tumawag kay Mamang para ipaalam na approved na ang vacation leave ko. She was glad I agreed to go with my sister.
Medyo na-gi-guilty ako kasi alam kong iniisip ni Mamang na para lang kay Holly kaya ako pumayag. Not that I could actually tell her half of the reason was that I wanted to see my boyfriend that I hadn't seen for weeks. And I knew, oras na malaman ni Kuya mula kay Mamang na may boyfriend ako, alam kong malalaman ni Kuya kung sino. And that was the last thing I wanted to think of right now. Sariwa pa rin sa isipan ko kung paanong hinusgaan kaagad ni Kuya si Jimin.
I wouldn't let him do it again.
Mamang once again reminded me not to eat fast-food chain meals. Sinabi rin niyang baka bukas ay dumating na rito iyong kasambahay na tinutukoy niya. It was Manang Bing so it was fine. Highschool pa lang ako ay kasama na namin si Manang Bing.
Kung sana nasa bahay pa si Manang Aurora, siya ang kukunin ko. She was my nanny when I was a child. Kaso pagtungtong ko nang college ay umalis siya due to some personal matters. My mother had to let her go without consulting me since she knew I wouldn't let my nanny go. I was in Manila back then and was busy studying. Ngayon, hindi ko alam kung nasaan na siya. If we would ever meet again, I would thank her for helping my mother take care of me.
Naka-receive ako ng message galing kay Jimin matapos akong maligo at makapagbihis. I just slipped into my pair of mint pajamas plus just let my hair hanging wet.
From: 010******13
Misseu.
Skype.
I love you.
I happily tossed my phone somewhere the bed and went quickly to my study table. I excitedly pulled the chair and sat giddily, I couldn't wait to see him already. Binuksan ko ang laptop ko at agad na nag-log in sa Skype. In just a minute, tumatawag na si Jimin.
I immediately fixed my still wet hair, just combed them all to my back since hindi na ako nag-blower dahil sa excitement. Sinulyapan ko muna ang mukha ko sa pabilog na salamin sa tabi ng table lamp. When I thought I was all set, I accepted his call.
Halos mahigit ko ang hininga ko nang lumitaw siya sa screen at agad kong napansin ang background niya. All pastel pink and right behind him was the crowd of very familiar stuffed toys. I could even see the familiar pink bedside table that was full of pink stuff. I thought… I thought they already changed the interior of the room? But why was I seeing my old pink room?
["Did I surprise you?"]
Napatitig ako sa lalaking may nahihiyang ngiti sa mga labi habang nakatingin ng diretso sa mga mata ko, sa likod ng screen. He was wearing a pajama top that had horizontal lines everywhere, iyon lang ang nakikita ko mula sa side niya. Magulo ang… kumunot ang noo ko nang makita ang buong niya.
"When did you change your hair in black?" I confusedly asked as I noticed his shiny black hair. It was perfectly parted in the middle so his smooth forehead was showing. I had always loved his black hair but he couldn't just do this disrespect to me! His new hairstyle only made him more illegal for me!
Para bang alam na alam niya ang hidden desire ko sa itim niyang buhok kaya ginagawa niya sa akin ito.
He handsomely brushed his hair up like he always did and it made my heart leap, like he always affected me. Lalo na nang mas lumapad ang pinipigilan niyang ngiti sa mga labi niya at maging ang mga mata ay nagningning sa saya.
["Right after we arrived,"] sagot niya.
Nawala ang ngiti ko sa isinagot niya at napasimangot ako. "I told you to rest—"
["Don't worry, misseu. It was already in black when I called you earlier."] Mabilis niyang pinutol ang sinasabi ko.
I sighed in relief. I believed that after their fan meeting, they would be having a big break before they prepared for their next comeback. They deserved it, after of all the hard works for months.
"I took a rest, jeongmal. I could hear your voice in my mind reminding me to rest. It was sweet so I did," pagpapatuloy niya habang paulit-ulit niyang sinusuklay ang buhok niya gamit ang mga daliri niya.
Ngumuso ako. "That's a relief. Maybe I should always remind you, hm?" I said with a sweet smile.
"I'll be glad. I want to hear your sweet reminders, always," aniyang mas lumalapad pa ang ngiti. "Ah!" bigla niyang sabi na parang may naalala. From the screen, his face gleamed. Ngumuso siya sa sakin habang itinuturo ang buhok niya.
"Huh?" takang tanong ko dahil hindi ko siya maintindihan.
"I noticed your hair got longer. It is beautiful," pagbabalik niya ng compliment sa akin. I wondered if he was just giving back the compliment since I complimented him a while ago. I had never had my hair longer, below my shoulder so I was new to this hairstyle. I didn't know if I looked good for others.
I consciously held the tips of my hair and hid them all on my back. "I used to have short hair. I just tried letting it grow longer." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya dahil hindi na naman kinakaya ng puso ko ang mga paninitig niya. Umabot na sa kalagitnaan ng likod ko ang buhok ko, hindi perfect straight ang buhok ko, medyo wavy ito sa dulo at itim na itim ang kulay.
Tumango-tango siya. "It suits you, misseu." He smiled sweetly, flattering me with his compliment. He was really good at making my stomach fill with wild butterflies.
"You're not just teasing me?" tanong ko dahil siya pa lang pumapansin nito. At saka, baka sinabi niya lang iyon dahil girlfriend niya ako.
He quickly shook his head, still smiling so sweet at me. "You look beautiful in everything. You didn't know?" sabi niya sa tonong hindi makapaniwala sabay kagat sa pang-ibabang labi niya
Binitiwan ko ang buhok ko at umupo ng diretso. Sa lagay na ito, baka tuluyan na akong magbago ng hairstyle. He was just so good with compliments. I smiled giving back the same sweet smile.
"I just knew it, just now," sagot ko na ikinalaki ng mga mata niya. Pinigilan ko ang mapangiti ng mas malapad dahil sobrang cute niya.
"Yah… yah, every man will be willing to steal my place in your life because you're beautiful but I won't let them. You are more than just a pretty face, Hanselle-ssi," he said thoughtfully.
Muntik pa akong malaglag sa upuan ko nang dilaan niya ang pang-ibabang labi niya habang nagsasalita kanina. Mabuti na lang at nakapatong ang mga braso ko sa mesa. Sa kaniya talaga nanggaling iyon. I would say the same to him. Maraming babae ang handang agawin ang lugar ko sa buhay niya… my position in his life was more in a threat actually.
"Stop flattering me, Jimin. My heart is in a very chaotic turmoil now merely because of your appearance," sabi ko saka ako pabirong umirap sa kaniya. Nahuli ko siyang ngumingisi na naman, he again brushed his hair up while licking his lips. Nang-aakit ba siya?!
Agad na napadako ang kamay ko sa parte ng dibdib ko. I clutched to the part of my heart, afraid it might leap out of my ribcage. Pinanlakihan ko siya ng mga mata dahil sa pinaggagawa niya.
"Mwo? I'm not doing anything!" He denied, ducking his lips and acting so innocent.
Umiling-iling ako. "Just stay still and don't do anything. Crap, you will be the end of my weak heart, Jimin!" I told him. Ang mokong hindi pa rin tumitigil sa kakangisi! Mukhang tuwang-tuwa pa!
"You already captured my heart, misseu, so I think we are just quits." He shrugged his shoulders as he leaned on the stuffed toys behind him, calmly.
I recognized the stuffed toys I named myself. Sa dami nila, hindi ko na sila lahat nabigyan ng pangalan. There was that one big white teddy bear, worth of a hug actually, that I liked the most. I named him, well I considered him as a male, El Handor. At iyon mismo ang nasa likod niya.
"Anyway, what are you doing in there?" I asked as I again noticed the room he was into. Ang buong akala ko talaga ay binago na nila ang silid na iyon. Hindi ko inaasahang pinapanatili pa rin nilang ganoon ang kuwartong naiwan ko. I wondered if they were still keeping my stuff… my personal stuff.
Inilibot niya ang paningin niya sa paligid niya bago siya muling humarap sa akin.
"I want to be here. It makes me feel like I am with you," sagot niya.
"You're actually leaning on my favorite stuff toy, Jimin. I feel bad for El Handor."
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top