Chapter Sixty

Mahigpit kong hawak ang kamay ni Jimin habang binubuksan ko ang pinto ng bahay at hawak naman niya ang box ng cake na binili ko para sa kaniya. Mas gusto kong hawakan ang kamay niya. I could buy many cakes if I wanted to but I couldn't afford if Jimin would leave me again.

Not again… I was still very scared.

Kahit nang pumasok kami ay hindi ko pa rin binibitawan ang kamay niya dahil natatakot pa rin akong mawala siya ulit. We both walked directly towards the kitchen. Siya na mismo ang naglapag ng box sa countertop na nasa gitnang bahagi ng kusina.

My house's kitchen wasn't so big, though big enough for someone like me who didn't cook. May magkahiwalay na stove, nasa countertop ang isa at nasa counter kasama ng sink naman ang isa. Ang closet-like refrigerator ay nasa gilid ng sink, above were the cupboards and there was even a mini shelf for wines and beers. May tig-dalawang high stools ang island countertop sa magkabilang gilid at dito ako madalas kumain dahil wala naman akong kasalong kumain sa dining table na nasa labas lang din ng kitchen.

Hinigpitan ko ang hawak sa kamay niya at nang mag-angat ako ng tingin ay nakita kong nakatitig siya sa akin gamit ang mga malalambot na mga mata.

I won't let you go this time, Jimin.

Remember, you were the one who sent them away before, Hanselle. My inner Goddess reminded me which I strongly ignored.

Binuksan ko ang box ng cake gamit ang isang kamay ko habang hindi pa rin binibitawan ang kamay niya at wala akong paki-alam kung isipin man niyang ang weird ko na. Tinakot niya ako ng sobra, hindi niya ako masisisi.

"I bought you a cake," sabi ko habang inaalis ang pagkakatali ng ribbon at hawak pa rin ang kamay niya.

"Hanselle-ssi," mahinang sabi niya, bahagya niyang hinila ang kamay niyang hawak ko saka ko lang napagtantong mahigpit din niyang hawak ang kamay ko na para bang hinding-hindi na nga ulit siya mawawala.

Napahinto ako sa pagbubukas ng box para lingunin siya. Only if my eyes were shameless enough, I could be crying again now because of the sweet and sincere smile on his cherry plump lips. Bakit naman kasi napaka-guwapo niya?

"I will not go anywhere, misseu," aniya na para bang ina-assure ako na hindi siya aalis, na hindi niya ako iiwan. He must have felt how I was holding tightly on him, he must have felt how scared I was to let him go.

Ngumuso ako sa kaniya saka yumuko. I gently let go of his hand as I drew my body near him, softly wrapping my arms around him and giving him a gentle embrace. I would need more than that to get assured… lalo na at hindi pa rin nilulubayan ng takot ang puso ko. He made me feel unimportant when he wasn't contacting me, so now he should take legal action. I had been in between his assurance and my own fear.

Kaya hindi niya ako masisisi.

"I might have scared y-you a lot," aniyang bahagyang nabasag ang boses.

Tumango ako habang nakasandal sa dibdib niya ang pisngi ko, langhap na langhap ko ang bango niya. "You've made me feel miserable," I honestly answered him in a soft whisper.

"Then let me make it up to you, hm," sabi niya. Hinawakan niya ang mga balikat ko at bahagya akong hinila palayo sa kaniya. His sincere eyes pierced within me, showing me assurance again. "Just like I said, we will do whatever you want."

And just like that, we did all the things that pleased me.

My favorite place would always be inside his arms.

Maluwag naman ang couch pero nagsisiksikan kami sa isang gilid, nakasandal ako sa kaniya habang hawak ko ng mahigpit ang mga kamay niyang naka-lock sa may tiyan ko dahil nakayakap siya sa akin mula sa likod at nasa pagitan ako ng mga hita niya. Pinili kasi naming manood ng movie since may mga DVDs naman ako. Sa coffee table na nasa harap namin ay naroon ang cake na binili ko. We also ordered foods and beers.

This wasn't the kind of celebration I wanted but him beside me was more than enough to hope for more grand. Because he, himself, was grandeur.

I bit my lower lip as I felt him gently plant a soft kiss on my nape when the two main characters in the movie kissed. The feel of his soft and a bit damp lips on my sensitive skin sent millions of butterflies in my stomach to go wild… wilder than ever. He was moved, I knew he didn't understand the movie but he was moved. It was just a chick-flick movie that was enough to wake up our sleeping spines.

"I can't understand a thing," aniya nang nangangalahati na kami sa local Romance movie na pinapanood namin.

Of course, I was the one who chose this movie. Tinanong ko nga siya kanina kung anong tingin niya sa mga Filipina Actresses na nasa movie e, he honestly told me that they were beautiful. Sinabi niya ring Filipinas were beautiful, kaya nalaman kong general ang pagkakasabi niya.

Ngumisi ako dahil ngayon lang siya nagreklamo samantalang kanina pa kami nanonood. "But admit it, you're moved," pang-aasar ko sa kaniya dahil sa ginawa niya kanina.

Ngayon pa siya nagreklamo e patapos na kami at ubos na niya ang amoy ng batok ko… hmp!

Girls like third-rate romance movies and I was not an exception. Kagaya ng ibang babae, na-e-excite din ako sa mga kilig scenes sa mga romance movies and I might not feel it, I knew boys have soft sides too. They get moved with this kind of movie too. Hindi porke't lalaki sila ay wala na silang sweet bones sa katawan.

"Because we are watching together," sagot niya saka ko muling naramdaman ang paghalik niya sa akin, sa pagkakataong ito, sa tuktok naman ng ulo ko.

Tumingala ako siya. "You didn't miss me much, did you?" I asked him teasingly.

I remembered how he had managed to get through a week without contacting me when I had been too miserable missing him. He had told me not to go missing from him but he had gone missing from me. He really had to explain everything to me. He needed to make sure his explanation is valid.

Umayos ako ng upo at lalayo sana ako sa kaniya para mas makaharap siya ngunit hinigpitan niya ang yakap sa akin. He even lifted me lightly to fix me on his lap and to hug me properly. This felt familiar and… I was loving this position. I would want to stay like this forever.

"Manager hyung held our phones. It will last till the tour ends…" Simula niya. He stared down at me before continuing. "I cannot contact you even if I really want to. We needed to double prepare for our concerts. Everytime I go up the stage, it was you the only thing in my mind." Lumunok siya nang huminto siya.

Nanatili akong nakatitig sa mga mata niyang seryosong nakatitig din pabalik sa akin. Staring up at those sincere eyes made me want to hold on to him much tighter. This was the greed I shouldn't be feeling. It was scarier than falling deeper in love with him because I didn't know where was this greed would take me, us. I was afraid this greed would take me into wanting more than I could only get.

Nag-angat siya ng kamay at hinayaan ko nang banayad na humaplos sa kanang pisngi ko ang mainit at malambot niyang palad. It was an instinct to close my eyes shortly and held his hand that was softly caressing my cheek. It was soft, the kind of love we had was of a soft and very fragile kind, and I loved every bit of it.

"You were not aware how hard it was to move up the stage missing someone very special…" Pagpapatuloy niya. "I missed you so much, misseu." And he ended up with the most obvious thing, that was what I really wanted to hear from him.

Trusting him, indeed, was the best thing I did.

"Tell me, you are still scared, right?" tanong niya.

Bumuntong-hininga ako nang maalala ko na naman ang mga nangyari noon. Iyong mga panahong kailangang-kailangan ko siya para paniwalain akong hindi pa siya nawawala sa akin, na dinagdagan pa ng takot dahil akala ko galit siya sa akin.

"I thought you were not calling me because you believed all the rumors between Jiro and I," tapat kong sagot. His face immediately hardened upon the mention of Jiro as his hug tightened even more. Nag-iwas siya sa akin ng tingin. Of course, it wouldn't be really easy for him. Kahit naman sa akin. Hindi ako kailanman naging okay sa mga isyu nila ni Sally, kaya maiintindihan ko kung manghihingi man siya sa akin ng eksplenasiyon ngayon kahit na sinabi ko na sa kaniya ang lahat through texts… would it be enough though?

"Is Jiro still bothering you?" he asked, still not looking at me but he voice sounded hard.

I bit my lower lip while looking at his face. Naririnig ko sa isang bahagi ng tainga ko ang boses ni Chelsea habang binabalaan ako sa pagiging tapat kay Jimin. It had been my mistake hiding things from Jimin and I had learned from it. I had to be honest now.

"Jimin, like what I told you in my text, I've fixed the mess in between us. I didn't know he was feeling that way towards me." I honestly told him, hinting that he must have already read my text. Mukhang nakuha na niya kay manager Sejin ang phone niya.

"He must have known his place by now. How dare he mess with my girl?" he said in gritting teeth and dark angry eyes. Masama ang tingin niya sa walang kamuwang-muwang na TV. Hinaplos ko ang mga braso niyang nakapalibot sa akin para pakalmahin siya. Mas nagsumiksik pa ako sa kaniya dahil ayaw kong isipin pa niya ang tungkol doon.

Isa pa, hindi bagay sa kaniya ang magkaroon ng itim na aura, yes, he sometimes did when dancing but I personally knew him as a soft man, it scared me if he had a dark aura. He was scary.

"Let's just forget everything. You're with me now, that's what matters, okay?" mabini kong sabi. Unti-unti siyang tumango at muling humarap sa akin. His face still looked gravely though. Inangat ko ang kamay ko para haplusin ang mukha niya at natutuwa akong agad na lumambot ito dahil sa haplos ko. "I love you, okay?" I assured him.

"I love you too," he answered, nodding curtly as he licked his lower lip that banged my insides, all over again.

Yes, Jimin, and it's more than enough.

Hindi ako mapakali habang hinihintay si Jimin na lumabas ng kuwarto ko, pinaglalaruan ko ang dulo ng manggas ng suot kong sweater na halos tumakip na sa mga kamay ko habang tumitingkayad na parang masisilip ko siya sa loob. Nang bumukas ang pinto at iniluwa siya ay abot-abot ang pagtatahip ng dibdib ko dahil sa antisipasiyon at excitement. And as he finally appeared right in front of my eyes from behind the door, he was already wearing the perfect match of the sweater I was wearing.

He proudly smiled at me seeing that we had matching clothes that leaped my weak heart. Hindi nga ako nagkamaling saktong-sakto sa kaniya ang damit, bukod sa nakuha ko ang tamang size niya ay sobrang guwapo niya talaga.  The sweater complemented very well the colour of his denim knee shorts, since kulay beige ito at army brown ang kulay ng sweater.

"Ah… ah, so this is it for?" he grinned, his eyes were missing with the way he was stretching his lips sideward. I smiled sweetly at him as I nodded continuously, feeling so happy about our matching clothes. Feel na feel ko kasi talaga ang pagiging girlfriend niya.

Nagbihis siya sa kuwarto ko habang sa guest room ko na lang piniling magbihis dahil balak ko siyang sorpresahin, hindi niya alam na couple sweaters ang sweater na iyon.

Naglakad ako palapit sa kaniya. I then held the sleeves of his both arms and slightly spread them apart as if presenting his beauty to me. "It suits you!" I said giddily, even jumping lightly in excitement.

One random thing achieved, we were both wearing a matching sweaters like normal couples do. This was not just a coincidence not like how those fans were tagging Sally and Jimin with those coincidental matchups. This was real.

Ours was real.

"Let's take a picture!" I excitedly nudged at him, almost skipping at my feet.

"Hm, baby," aniyang sumasang-ayon na nagpatigil sa akin.

Napatitig ako sa kaniya habang naka-awang ang mga labi ko dahil napaka-careless niya. Tinawag na naman niya akong baby! The first one was when we were talking in the phone. How could he carelessly call me that when my heart wasn't behaving well because of it?! He should bare in mind that I only had a weak heart for him!

Siya na ang naglabas ng phone para pangkuha ng picture namin. Mula sa likod ko ay ipinalibot niya sa balikat ko ang braso niya at pinihit ako palapit sa kaniya bago niya marahang ipinatong sa isang balikat ko ang baba niya.

"Here we gooo," aniya sa malapit sa tainga ko, lumikha pa ng nakakatawang tunog sa huling salita. He then stretched his hand upward holding his phone. "Smile, baby," dagdag niya pa.

Nakangiting tumitig ako sa repleksiyon naming nasa screen ng phone niya at hindi na binigyang pansin ang itinawag niya sa akin. My hands softly held his arm that was around my neck as I tilted my head a little, bumping softly to him. He counted from one to three before he clicked the button just as we got our first photo together with our matching sweaters.

Another random thing achieved.

We then captured many photos together, at tawa lang kami ng tawa sa mga pictures na nakukuha namin. Sinabi niyang i-se-send niya ang mga iyon sa akin para mayroon din akong kopya.

"Really? You're not afraid I might post anything on social media?" tanong ko sa kaniya sa nang-aasar na tono.

"I know you will not do it," he confidently answered and kiddingly pinched my nose. He trusted me too much.

Alas-onse na ng gabi pero gising pa rin kaming dalawa dahil hindi pa natatapos ang selebrasiyon namin. We were just talking about random things… another random thing achieved. Naisip din naming manuod ulit ng movie, only this time, it was a Hollywood movie. I could give consideration to him since he couldn't understand Filipino.

Inabot ko mula sa mesa ang baso kong sinalinan ko ng beer. I was about to drink it when he stopped my hand.

Dahan-dahan niyang kinuha mula sa kamay ko ang baso. "You should stop drinking now. You have drunk a lot," umiiling na sabi niya sabay halik sa noo ko bago niya ininom ang beer na dapat ay sa akin.

Napanguso ako. "But I want to stay up all night," sagot ko sa kaniya dahil gusto kong kasama siyang tapusin ang araw na ito. This would be a really long night, I was even afraid that a night wouldn't be enough for me.

I was greedy, remember?

"Alcohol will not help you stay awake," natatawang sabi niya.

"You don't know what alcohol can do to me, Jimin," sabi ko.

Mas nagigising ang diwa ko at mas nahihirapan akong matulog kapag lasing ako at sa mga oras na ito, kailangan kong manatiling gising. I didn't want to waste any single second that I could spend with him because sooner, he would have to leave again.

"The more you need to stop drinking." He put the glass back on the table. Dinampot niya ang isang coke in can at inilapag sa kandungan ko. "That's better."

Nang ilang minuto na lang at sasapit na ang alas-dose, sinindihan ko na ang kandila ng cake. Simpleng 'Happy Birthday' lang ang ipinalagay kong message. I was really wishing him a happy birthday. Kinantahan ko siya ng happy birthday song habang pumapalakpak at nakangiti lang siya habang pinapanood ako.

"You should make a wish!" I told him.

He then nodded before he closed his eyes for a minute and after that, he held my hand. "Let's blow the candle together," he said, lightly clutching my hand. So we blew the candle together.

I playfully stuck my finger on the icing at the side of the round cake and evilly spread it on his face while he was busy taking the candle away from the cake. Gulat na napatitig siya sa akin pero nang ma-realize niya ang ginawa ko ay ngumisi siya, isang mapaglarong ngisi. Ginaya niya ang ginawa ko ngunit aabutin pa lang sana niya ako ay tumakbo na ako palayo sa kaniya.

"Yah!" he shouted. Nanlalaki ang mga mata niya. "You wanna play, huh?" He made a face at me so I playfully stuck my tongue out at him.

"You look cute!" pang-aasar ko sa kaniya dahil sa puting icing na nasa mukha niya. I quickly ran towards the kitchen when I saw him run after me. Nagulat pa ako nang paglingon ko ay malapit na niya akong maabutan.

They were right, men's thighs are faster than girls'.

"Come here, misseu!" He told me in a wide grin while showing me the amount of icing on his finger.

Natatawang umiling ako habang hinihingal dahil sa ginawa kong biglaang pagtakbo kanina samantalang mukhang hindi man lang siya hiningal. "No." I heaved a deep sigh while smiling, watching his moves closely. Napapagitnaan namin ang island counter.

Akala ko ay sapat na ang layo namin pareho kaya nang tumakbo siya pa-ikot sa counter para abutan ako ay mabilis din akong tumakbo ngunit hindi pa man ako nakakalabas ng counter ay may matitigas ng mga braso ang pumulupot sa baywang ko bago malakas na tumama ang likod ko sa malapad niyang dibdib. Both of our laughter resounded around the corners of the kitchen.

"Got you!" bulong niya sa tainga ko habang yakap ako ng mahigpit mula sa likod para hindi na ako makatakas.

"Jimin!" I screamed because of the tingling sensation it brought me. He lightly turned me around and gently made me lean on the counter, his body pressing hardly on mine and making sure there was no escape for me anymore.

He then grinned playfully at me. "Now, let me have my revenge," aniya saka hawi ng ilang hibla ng buhok kong humaharang sa pisngi ko gamit ang isang kamay niya at mukhang seryosong gaganti nga siya.

Mariin kong ipinikit ang isa kong mata dahil nakikita ko nang ipapahid niya sa pisngi ko ang icing na nasa daliri niya. Pagbibigyan ko siyang makaganti tutal ako naman ang nag-umpisa. "Just don't spread it long." I warned him, peeking at him thought my one eye opened.

"Okay." Nagkibit-balikat siya. He slowly brought his finger near my face as if teasing me while still grinning playfully at me. He was probably enjoying this. Ang buong akala ko ay sa pisngi ko niya ipapahid ang icing katulad ng ginawa ko sa kaniya kaya nanlalaki ang mga mata ko nang maramdaman ko ang malamig na icing sa mga labi ko.

"Perfect," he commented that gaped my mouth open, he then took the chance to instantly delve his sinful lips onto my not so prepared ones. He thoroughly cleaned my lips using his lips, tasting every part of it until I could no longer taste the sweet icing because I could again taste the familiar sweetness of his lips.

My sweet cotton candy.

I felt his arms slowly wrap around my middle as his body pushed me lightly, keeping me press hard on the countertop. Thanks to his tight hold, for keeping me still on my ground. Nang maramdaman kong gumagalaw na ang mga labi niya ay kusa na ring kumilos ang mga labi ko. My lips were giving him the same intensity his lips brought.

He was kissing me thoroughly, his soft lips were sucking my lips and it was helplessly sending me to my insanity… deepest insanity.

My hands hardly clutched to the chest part of his sweater for support, for strength. Naramdaman ko ang panghihina ng mga tuhod ko na dulot ng sensasyon ng mga halik niya. The dampness of his lips was creating little licking sound against my lips. Pinapahina noon ang mga binti ko. He must have felt it too because his hands went down my waist. He held my waist and lifted me up so I could sit on top of the counter since I couldn't stand properly anymore. He placed himself in between my legs while still keeping the intense and intimate contact of our lips.

Our heads seemed to know the perfect angle to deepen the kiss more, our nose touching sensually, being acquainted with each other as our eyes drunkenly staring back at each other, not wanting to lose contact too.

Jimin never failed to make me feel the first kiss all over again. I felt like we were sharing our first kiss when this wasn't actually our first.

He lightly pulled away that almost took my sanity away. Bakit siya huminto?! I still wanted his lips! I still wanted more! Nalalasing na napatitig sa ako sa mga mata niya bago bumaba ang tingin ko sa basa at naka-awang niyang pulam-pulang mga labi.

I still wanted more…

"Would you still want to stay up all night?" he asked vaguely.

Napagtanto ko lang ang tanong niyang iyon nang maramdaman ko ang mainit niyang palad na banayad na humahaplos sa balat ng tiyan ko sa loob ng sweater ko. Nanlalaki ang mata ko at ramdam na ramdam ko ang biglaang pag-iinit ng mga pisngi ko. I almost got dragged! At siya rin!

I told you, you shouldn't be asking me questions like that 'cause you don't know how weak I am when it comes to living temptations like you! Sigaw ng isang bahagi ng isip ko, the righteous one.

Hinawakan ko ang mga balikat niya at bahagyang itinulak siya palayo sa akin. Our faces were now levelling since I was sitting on the countertop. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya dahil hindi ko mai-di-deny na muntik ko na ngang makalimutan ang lahat kanina dahil masyadong nakakalasing ang mga halik niya. I was not… yet ready for it. I knew we were both an adult now but I didn't think we should do it already.

There was a time for it. At hindi ngayon iyon.

"We'll stay up all night as planned." I came up with the most hardest decision, I didn't know how it became the hardest though. Siguro dahil mahirap talagang pigilan ang mga hormones namin, lalo na at tukso talaga ang lalaking ito.

He sweetly smiled while slowly nodding his head before he softly held the sides of my head. Hinila niya ang ulo ko para patakan ng isang matagal at malalim na halik ang noo ko. Now, I feel protected and very treasured.

"We should stop from here then," aniya kaya ako naman ang tumango pero ninakawan ko pa ulit siya ng mabilis na halik sa labi na ikinagulat niya. "Hanselle-ssi," banta niya.

"Fine, fine! Put me down now," natatawang sabi ko habang tumatango at humahawak sa mga balikat niya. Naiiling na lang siya at binuhat na ako pababa ng counter.

Bumalik kami sa sala na parang walang nangyari. We continued pigletting on all those foods we ordered but he didn't let me drink again. We continued watching Hollywood movies while he was holding me tightly on that part of the couch. Only if we could stay like this longer.

Naalimpungatan ako dahil sa pakiramdam na lumulutang ako, this felt like 'déjà vu'. The same familiar scent I often had in my dreams was now invading my nose again, the pair of strong arms holding me protectively and the hard but warm chest I had always loved to clutched on. Kung noon ay takot na takot akong dumilat dahil ayaw kong iwan ang panaginip kong iyon… Now, I could just freely open my eyes and make that dream my reality.

Unti-unti kong idinilat ang mga mata ko habang damang-dama ko ang mga brasong mahigpit akong hawak para hindi ako malaglag. I sweetly smiled as I saw Jimin staring down at me, fondness was very vivid through those dark circles he possessed.

"I thought you would stay up all night?" he asked teasingly.

"Did I fall asleep?" tanong ko pabalik sa paos na tinig dahil malamang sa tulog.

Tumango siya at inayos ang pagkakabuhat sa akin. Nalaman kong nasa loob na kami ng kuwarto ko. He then chuckled softly that vibrated through his firm chest against my left palm. The scent, the pair of strong arms and the vibration in my dreams, it were all his.

It had always been Jimin. Though I doubt if they were just really a dream.

"Did I wake you up?" tanong din niya pabalik sa pabulong na tono.

Tinapik ko muna ang dibdib niya para sabihing ibaba na niya ako dahil narating na namin ang kama ko. He softly put me down my bed. Naupo siya sa gilid ng kama ko pagkatapos.

"It was you, right? You were always carrying me whenever I fell asleep before," sabi ko sa kaniya nang maalala ko ang dalawang pagkakataon kung saan binubuhat niya ako kapag nakakatulog ako.

The first time was when we were at the Bighit building, I had fallen asleep so he had carried me to sleep in a silent room and the second one was when we were at the house, he had carried me while I was sleeping to bring me to Hoseok and Jungkook's room since Taehyung was sleeping in my room, in my bed to be specific, beside me.

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko saka marahang hinaplos, nakaka-antok ang lambot ng haplos niya pero pinanatili kong gising ang sarili ko. He then nodded with a little smile on his lips to answer my question. Noon pa lang pala, hindi lang siya basta panaginip, noon pa lang ay reyalidad ko na siya.

"You should get back to sleep," aniya.

Nilingon ko ang orasang nasa bedside table na nasa likod niya lang. Nakita kong nasa kalagitnaan ng mga numerong 2 at 3 ang pinakamaliit na kamay ng orasan. Ibig sabihin, tapos na ang birthday niya.

I turned to him sadly. "You'll stay with me, right?" I asked him but I knew, I was just trying to change what was going to happen now. I knew I couldn't stop him.

Malungkot rin niya akong tinitigan na para bang hirap na hirap siyang sagutin ang tanong ko, dahil pareho naming alam na tapos na. He softly caressed my hand while sadly holding my gaze. Pinaglaruan niya ang singsing na nandoon, iyong singsing na binigay niya sa akin noon. It was hurting me to see pain through his eyes, but what could I do?

Nasasaktan din ako. Kung puwede ko lang hinging muli ang araw na ito para makasama ko pa siya ng matagal e, pero hindi puwede. Hinihintay siya ng maraming tao. His fans, his management and his friends the most.

"I promise to stay until you fall asleep." He assured me. Marahang hinila niya ang kumot ko at itinakip sa mga hita ko hanggang baywang ko dahil nananatili pa rin akong naka-upo. He then softly tapped my pillow. "Lie down…"

"Can I just see you go?" untag ko, umaasang papayag siya kahit na alam ko sa sarili kong mas masasaktan lang ako.

"Misseu, it will be hard for the both of us." Umiling siya. He gently cupped my face as he leaned closer. Hinalikan niya ako, mariin at malalim at nang pinakawalan niya ako ay agad na sumampa siya sa kama. He lay down beside me. He again tapped my pillow, wanting me to lie beside him so that I could sleep and he could peacefully go. "Let's sleep together then," aniya saka banayad na hinila ang kamay ko para mapahiga ako sa tabi niya. He pulled me to his body, making me feel his fast beating heart against my back as he cuddled me with his arms strongly wrapped around me.

I sighed heavily. Hours from now, he would be gone again. He needed to go back to Japan since they still had days left for their concert there. He just came here for me and I needed to be contented of that. This greed of mine needed a break.

Nararamdaman ko ang maiinit at banayad niyang hininga sa leeg ko. Tumagilid ako ng higa para makaharap ko siya. Ang mga maliliit at singkit niyang mga mata ang sumalubong sa akin, kumikislap ang mga iyon habang malambot na nakatitig pabalik sa akin.

Hinawakan ko ang pisngi niya at marahang hinaplos. "Let's sleep together." I told him. Ikatutuwa ko kung matutulog siya ngayon ng matagal. He needed it for their concert later tonight. Lalo na at alam kong wala na silang pahinga.

If I could only make him sleep for long. Pero hindi puwede kasi kailangan niyang lumilad pabalik ng Japan.

"Jimin." tawag ko sa kaniya.

"Hm?" tanong niya habang nakapikit. Ang buong akala ko ay natutulog na siya dahil sa tagal ng katahimikang sa pagitan namin kanina at napakakalmado pa ng mga paghinga niya.

"Your English speaking is improving," sabi ko dahil napapansin ko ang improvement sa pag-iingles niya kanina habang nag-se-celebrate kami. Pahinto-hinto pa rin pero hindi na kasing bagal noon. Apat na buwan din kaming hindi nagkasama at halos isang buwan kaming hindi nagkausap.

"We hired a personal English tutor specialized in pronunciation," sagot niyang nakapikit pa rin. Tumango-tango ako kahit hindi niya nakikita, nabubusog naman ang mga mata ko ng kaguwapuhan niya.

"Jimin," muli kong tawag sa kaniya.

"Hm?" He groaned this time, eyes were still closed. Hindi pa rin siya tulog!

Inangat ko ang kamay ko para haplusin ang mga mata niya, ang itim na itim niyang mga pilik-mata maging ang mga kilay niya. Really, God was good for giving me one of His most beautiful and greatest creation. Hinding-hindi ko Siya bibiguin dahil hinding-hindi ko sasaktan si Jimin.

"You'll do well later, right?" saad ko na ngayon ay ang ilong naman niya ang pinapasadahan ko ng haplos. Natigilan lang ako nang may gumuhit na ngiti sa mga labi niya, napatitig tuloy ako sa mga labi niya. Nang-aakit ba siya?

"Of course. You boyfriend is a professional performer," mayabang niyang sagot ngunit hindi pa rin dumidilat. Ngumuso ako kahit hindi pa rin niya nakikita at ipinagpatuloy ang paghaplos sa ilang bahagi ng mukha niya. He was boasting when he was all but a shy man… shy illegal man.

"Jimin…" I again called him just as my fingers insensitively caressed his soft lips.

"Stop buying time, misseu. You should sleep now," natatawang sabi niya. Hinuli niya ang kamay kong humahaplos na ngayon sa malalambot niyang mga labi at hinila niya ako para itago ang mukha ko sa dibdib niya, marahan niyang ipinatong ang braso ko sa baywang niya saka mas niyakap ako ng mahigpit.

He did it because he wanted me to sleep… so that he could peacefully go. His natural sweet and minty scent pleasured my nose as I sulked deeper his chest, wrapping my arms around him too as I felt my eyes becoming heavy. I was just trying to stay awake when I was already very sleepy.

"I love you so much, Hanselle-ssi." The last thing I heard from him and I was already being consumed by sleep.

I woke up with the direct sunlight striking right through my closed eyes. Agad na nagising ang buong diwa ko nang mabilis na bumuhos sa akin ang kamalayan ng mga nangyari kagabi.

My eyes immediately landed on my side, at halos panghinaan ako ng loob nang makita ang bakanteng tabi ko pero gusot ang kumot na sensyales na may taong nanggaling doon. Bumangon ako habang unti-unti kong nararamdaman ang agad na pagka-miss kay Jimin.

He was gone. Umalis na siya. And he really chose the easiest way for us… easiest yet the saddest. I would want to see him go but I would hate it too.

Kinuha ko ang unang ginamit niya at mahigpit na niyakap. "Have a safe trip, Jimin," bulong ko. Amoy na amoy ko ang natural at pamilyar niyang bango na humahalo sa natural na amoy ng unan ko. Ang daya talaga ng lalaking iyon, nag-iwan pa talaga siya ng bakas para pahirapan ako.

Na-mi-miss ko tuloy siya agad! But I couldn't also deny that I loved it. I loved his smell on my bed!

Crap, I would love it if I had his smell all over my house!