Chapter Fifty-one

"What? You're sending us away?" Si Namjoon ang unang nag-react matapos kong sabihin ang kahapon ko pang gustong sabihin sa kanila.

Mariin kong pinisil ang dulo ng daliri ng mga kamay ko na nasa likod ko dahil sa hindi magandang timpla ng mukha ni Namjoon, senyales na hindi siya pleased sa gusto kong mangyari. I then hardly dragged my sight to the person beside him.

Jimin stared at me with his jaw dropped and mouth opened, and obviously like Namjoon, he didn't look pleased too.

Bumuntong-hininga ako habang tumititig sa guwapo niyang mukha. Siguradong mami-miss ko siya pero makaka-survive naman siguro kaming dalawa kahit na malayo kami sa isa't isa. May mga social applications naman kung saan puwede kaming mag-usap. We could still communicate even just through social apps. We could talk through video calls and check on each other through chats.

"But Hanselle-ssi, we still want to stay here," Namjoon softly told me that brought my attention back to him. Agad siyang sinang-ayunan ng iba na mas nagpahirap pang lalo ng sitwasyon. They all nodded in unison. Si Taehyung ay nakanguso habang nakatitig sa akin habang naka-upo sa pinakadulo ng couch. I didn't even know if he understood everything I said.

Jimin remained stunned while staring deeply at me. Natatakot ako sa nababasa ko sa mga mata niya. I didn't even know how he would take this. I wanted him to stay, I wanted them all to stay but that would compromise their careers.

ARMYs needed them more than I did.

"We still want to be with you!" Hoseok lightly whined at the single couch he was sitting in just across the single couch where Yoongi was. He even stomped his feet against the tiled floor to show his protest.

Gusto kong matuwa. Gusto kong sabihin na gusto ko ring nasa tabi ko lang sila. Gusto kong manatili sila rito pero kasi, career na nila ang nakasalalay rito. I needed to accept that being Jimin's girlfriend, it required me to worry about their careers too. Just like I said, I wouldn't be of a hindrance to their careers instead, a help. I would support them still.

"Noona, can't we stay a little longer?" Jungkook sadly asked me, his lips stretching downward for a cute frown.

Nasa tabi siya ni Jin na malungkot ring nakatitig sa akin. I now thanked Yoongi's silence because I didn't know how would I take it if they all would say something about this, though Jin was throwing me a sad look, I was also glad that he wasn't saying anything.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit nila ako pinahihirapan ng ganito. Of course, I would want them all to stay longer! I would want them to never leave my side! But this wasn't something that needed my opinion or even what I wanted to happen! This wasn't about what I like!

"Hanselle-ssi, do we bother you?" Jin finally asked in a gloomy face. Something tugged painfully at my heart because of his question and his sad expression.

Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa kanilang lahat para lang makita ang mga malulungkot nilang mga mukha. Iyon ba ang iniisip nila? No! They didn't get it! Kahit kailan ay hinding-hindi sila magiging bother sa akin. I just didn't want them abandoning their careers they worked hard for, for the past years just because they wanted to stay here and be with me! That was ridiculous!

Sobra na ba silang na-a-attach sa akin? That was supposed to be a good thing but why did I feel like I was actually taking them away from their careers? Odd!

I exasperatedly brought my hands up to let my fingers brush away the stress from my hairs. Paano ko ba ipa-iintindi sa kanilang kailangan na nilang bumalik sa Seoul? A lot of opportunities awaited for them there, a lot of people also!

"No! It isn't like—" Naputol ang sinasabi ko nang biglang tumayo si Jimin at walang sabi-sabing naglakad paalis ng living room.

He disappeared to one of the rooms as I just stared at that door, my mouth hanging opened and my heart choking my throat. I sighed even more exasperatedly because of the sting in my chest as I sadly turned to look at the people left in front of me. This was harder than to be torn between two decisions. The choice was now lent for me but the hardest part was, it wasn't favoring me.

"Guys, you've never been a bother to me. I'd like you all to stay by my side but I can't let you abandon your career. You need to go back for your fans and for yourselves." I exasperatedly told them in a low voice, getting tired about this all of a sudden.

Naiisip ko si Jimin sa loob ng silid na iyon. The last thing I would want to happen was to upset him. He was just too precious for me that it would also hurt me making him sad.

Pinanood ko silang magpalitan ng mga tingin hanggang sa magtanguan sina Namjoon at Jin sa isa't isa.

Namjoon then turned softly to me. "Hanselle-ssi, don't worry now, I understand you. You better follow Jimin," nakangiting sabi niya kasabay ng sunod-sunod na tango mula sa iba. Somehow, that made me breathe calmly. Lalo na at si Namjoon ang nagsabi noon.

"I understand her too." Sumunod ang malalim na boses ni Yoongi na sa wakas ay nagsalita na rin. Though I just hoped what he said wasn't offending.

"Nado!" Taehyung's so ever enthusiastic voice. He was square smiling widely at me showing me his prefect set of whites. Kaya kahit hindi ko sila naintindihan ni Yoongi, pakiramdam ko, hindi naman masama ang mga sinabi nila.

Nakita ko ang sabay na pagbubuntong-hininga nina Hoseok at Jungkook. I stared at them waiting for their remarks, if there was. Ngumuso ako habang kumukurap dahil mukhang wala na silang sasabihin pa, ang mga ngiti nila ay sapat na para mapanatag ako. Before I left, they all nodded synchronously.

"Let's talk again later! Okay? Okay?!" agad kong sabi na hindi na masyadong inaasahan ang sagot nila ngunit bago ako tumakbo patungo sa pintong pinasukan ni Jimin ay narinig ko pa silang sumang-ayon sa sinabi ko.

Mag-uusap kaming lahat mamaya pero sa ngayon, kailangan ko munang asikasuhin ang mahal ko. I didn't want a sad Jimin, I didn't want him mad at me too. Maiintindihan ko kung nagtatampo siya dahil natural lang iyon pero sana pakinggan din niya ang mga sasabihin ko.

Para sa kanila ito, para sa kaniya.

I stood in front of the closed door as I contemplated quickly what should I do with the huffing precious guy inside. I sure didn't know how to comfort anyone and I also didn't know how to pamper! Pero dahil si Jimin ito, kailangan kong gawin ang lahat.

Kumatok muna ako sa pinto bago ko marahang pinihit pabukas ang seradura. Nagulat pa ako nang malamang bukas ito na para bang inaasahan na niyang susundan ko siya. I then smiled as I felt my heart leap within my chest. Why was he so so cute?!

Guess we won't be sleeping tonight without making up, Jimin.

Pagpasok ko ay nahanap ko si Jimin na naka-upo sa kama, nakaparte ang mga binti habang nakapatong ang dalawang siko sa mga hita at bahagyang nakayuko. He was already looking sternly at me with those pitch black and beautiful circles as if he was waiting for me. My knees trembled with the way he stared at me just as the smile from my lips instantly vanished.

Gusto kong lapitan siya pero natatakot ako sa paraan ng pagtitig niya sa akin. Angry people were really really scary for me. I couldn't cope up with them plus I was used to Jimin's soft and fond eyes.

I felt my sole being glued to the hard ground and my knees still shaking so I couldn't move. Nanatili lang akong nakatitig pabalik sa mga seryoso niyang mga mata na para bang balak niya akong tunawin.

Jimin, stop staring at me like that.

I started pinching nervously at the fingernails of my hands behind my back. I hardly pursed my lips trying to see from his eyes what could he possibly be thinking right now. Dark and deep abyss… I couldn't see anything not when he slowly blinked and pain started shading his circles.

For an instance, I wanted to go near him, lock him in my arms and make him feel how precious he was for me. Gusto kong ibulong ng paulit-ulit sa kaniya ang mga salitang gusto niyang marinig sa akin na tuluyang sisira sa career niya.

I want you to stay.

"Don't you want to stay with me anymore?"

My heart felt like being ripped to pieces because of what he said, the pain and heaviness through his voice were overflowing. Suminghap ako ngunit walang tunog na lumabas sa bibig ko habang nakikita ko ang tuluyang pagbabago ng anyo niya.

From stern eyes to soft yet pained eyes…

Crap, Jimin! What made you think of that?! God knows how hard are all these for me too! Kung puwede nga lang kitang ipagdamot sa buong mundo, ginawa ko na! Kung puwede lang na dito ka na lang sa tabi ko e! But I know, your dreams are more important now. Iyong tayong dalawa? We just need to endure and we will survive. But your career, that can't wait, that can't endure. You can lose it in just a blur. And we can't have you lose your dreams that you worked hard for.

"Don't you want me anymore?" he again asked that ripped my heart all over again. Bagsak na bagsak ang boses niya maging ang mga mata niyang ngayon ay nanunubig na.

Isinara ko ang bibig ko at paulit-ulit na umiling habang ipinapako pa rin ako ng mga paa ko sa kinatatayuan ko. I was trying to sacrifice my happiness for him, for them and that he would ask me? I felt… I felt insulted. I felt untrusted.

I quickly raised my head and blinked my eyes several times to stop my eyes from welling up, from tearing up beause this wasn't the right time for that. Mahigpit na nagsara ang mga kamao ko sa likod ko. My heart felt like lifting weights and my stomach felt like being drowned in a cold place.

Wala ba siyang tiwala sa akin?

No, Hanselle. You need to understand that he's just hurt that's why he's like this. He trusts you and just doesn't want to be far away from you. My inner Goddess tried to console me.

Mariin akong pumikit. I then felt my nails digging on my palm. Nang idilat ko ang mga mata ko para salubungin ang mga mata niya ay nakita ko siyang malambot na nakatitig sa akin. He now looked more troubled and a bit worried…

No, he didn't need to because I understood though it hurt.

"I'll talk to you after you gather your mind." I blandly told him as I turned around to leave and let him have his time alone to think more logical and rational. Baka sa ganoon, mahanap na niya ang pagkakataong maintindihan ako.

Hindi ko pa man naaabot ang pinto ay nakaramdam na ako ng dalawang matitibay na brasong mahigpit ngunit banayad na pumulupot sa baywang ko. Those pair of firm and strong arms pulled me in a tight back hug as I felt him bury his face on the left angle of my neck, sniffing and breathing heavily.

My heart leaped again as it recognized the familiar scent and the warm body of the only man it desired.

"Mianh… mianhe, misseu," he whispered, his hot breath hitting my neck.

Ramdam na ramdam ko ang init ng hininga niya sa balat ko maging ang bahagyang pagdampi ng mga labi niya. It was funny how I was coming withering and surrendering over just his tight hug and sweet apologies. Hinawakan ko ang mga braso niyang mahigpit na nakayakap sa akin. I gently caressed his arms first before I slowly took them off me. I then turned around to face him only to see his eyes watering again for unshed tears.

For the umpteenth time, Park Jimin was crying for me.

Why was he so soft? I just really wanted to protect him at all cost! From the pain, from the failures, from the disappointments and from all that could hurt him. I loved him so much.

I softy cupped his smooth face, careful not to trigger his tears. Pinagdikit ko ang mga noo namin habang hinayaan kong muling pumalibot sa baywang ko ang mga braso niya at mas hinila pa ako palapit sa kaniya hanggang sa maging ang mga katawan namin ay magdikit na rin. I needed to pull his head down since he was inches taller than me, he was actually very tall.

"Jimin, I want you to stay, but I don't want you to lose your career in the process of loving me. We can balance, Jimin," I softly whispered him in a hush voice, careful not to hurt him. Marahan kong hinaplos ang mukha niya habang pinapasadahan ng mumunting haplos ang mga mata niya.

His tearing eyes found my eyes. "I can't imagine being far from you, misseu," he said in a hoarse, hurting voice.

If I could only do anything so that I couldn't hurt him anymore, but then, this was hurting me so much too. Masasaktan talaga kami pareho dahil malalayo kami sa isa't isa.

"Then don't imagine it, Jimin," sabi ko sa kaniya. Dahil pinipilit ko rin namang hindi isipin na kailangan niyang malayo sa akin, iniisip ko na lang na maraming paraan para magka-usap kami.

Dahan-dahan siyang tumango kahit na nasa mukha pa rin niya ang paghihirap. Humigpit ang mga braso niyang nasa baywang ko at hinila ako para tuluyang yakapin. My body lightly pressing to his body as his arms protectively wrapped around me, securing me and comforting me all at the same time.

Jailing me inside his arms as he buried his face on my neck must be my most getaway from all this.

Right now, he was just like a little kid who was afraid to lose his favorite playmate.

I slowly caressed his soft hair as I hugged him back more tightly, making him feel that he wouldn't ever lose me. Hinding-hindi ako mawawala sa kaniya. I understood him because I was afraid to lose him too.

"Stay with me for tonight," bulong niya sa leeg ko. I found out that he really liked this position. He loved to nuzzle my neck and whisper hot breaths against the skin of my neck.

"Jimin, I still need to talk with them," sabi ko sa kaniya dahil naalala kong sinabihan ko silang hintayin ako para maka-usap sila, ngunit imbis na pakawalan ako ay inangat niya ako. He held both of my thighs as my legs instantly wrapped around his waist.

Napakapit ako sa mga balikat niya sa takot na baka malaglag ako. Uminit ang pisngi ko sa ginawa niya. "Jimin!" I screamed in surprise.

"You are mine for the whole night," natatawang sabi niya na sa wakas ay nakangiti na, maging ang mga mata ay nawawala.

Nanlalaki ang mga mata ko at hindi makapaniwalang tinitigan siya habang pinapanatili ko ang mahigpit na hawak sa balikat niya. I knew he wouldn't let me fall, he was actually holding my thighs very tightly and though he was slender, he had muscles that could lift weights and I didn't even weigh that much!

What he said sent million of malicious and perverted thoughts to my not so innocent mind to the point that I could feel my face being boiled and roasted.

He couldn't!

"Jimin, you're not thinking of doing that t-thing to me, aren't you?!" tanong ko sa kaniya, nag-iinit ang mga pisngi ko dahil sa sariling kaisipan.

Kumunot ang noo niya saka hinuli ang mga mata ko. "That… t-that thing? Mwo? What are you thinking, misseu?" he asked, confused as he lightly tilted his head sideward so that he could watch my face.

Crap! Hindi naman siguro nakikita sa mukha ko ang mga pinag-iisip ko, 'no?! I hoped not! Embarrassing!

"That… that…" I trailed off as I hid my face in his shoulder and shyly mumbled. "Jimin, put me down!" Sa huli ay hindi ko rin kayang ibunyag sa kaniya ang kung anumang iniisip ko. We were both innocent here! Utak ko lang ang may kaunting diperensya but we were totally very innocent!

"Don't worry. We will just sleep." He maliciously told me near my ear as he went on his way to the bed, still carrying me. Mukhang nahulaan na niya ang anumang iniisip ko dahil sa tono ng pananalita niya.

Tsk. Tsk. My shy Jimin wasn't so shy anymore.

The bed looked so tempting and inviting plus I was with this irresistible hot man… and I couldn't believe I was really having this kind of thoughts!

Oh, please, bad thoughts! Stay away from me!

Dahan-dahan niya akong ibinaba sa kama. He made me sit at the edge of the bed before leaning over me, so that he could land a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Stop thinking anything," he said, chuckling.

I was staring up at him since he was standing in front of me, his legs locking both of my legs. "I'm not!" tanggi ko. Yumuko ako para itago sa kaniya ang panigurado ay namumulang mga pisngi ko.

What? Nakapaskil ba sa mukha ko ang mga iniisip ko para malaman niya pa iyon?!

"Okay," kibit balikat niya na tila hindi naniniwala sa akin. He then walked towards the brown wooden closet. Naglabas siya roon ng isang pares ng pantulog, pantulog niya I might add. Bumalik siya sa akin pagkatapos. He handed me his pair of pajamas, a white and black stripes long sleeves top and a bottom that looked the same.

Sa hitsura pa lang, hatalang sobrang laki para sa akin ng mga ito.

"I missed you wearing my clothes," aniya nang tanggapin ko ang pares ng pantulog niya kasabay ng panununot ng mabangong amoy ng damit sa ilong ko.

Hindi ito ang unang pagkakataon na matutulog ako kasama siya. Hindi ito ang unang pagkakataon na matutulog akong kayakap siya. The first time was when we were still in Seoul. Hindi ito ang first time, pero bakit abot-abot ang kaba sa dibdib ko?

I was afraid and excited at the same time. I was afraid I might do something while he was asleep and I was excited because I wanted to feel him beside me.

"What if they're waiting for me?" I asked him the moment we were both laying down on the bed, my head pillowed by his arm. Nakapatong ang isang braso ko sa tiyan niya habang amoy na amoy ko ang shower gel niya, mula sa kaniya at sa akin.

"They are sleeping now," sagot niya kasabay ng marahang paghaplos niya sa buhok ko na nakakapagpapikit sa akin.

"But I told them to wait for me," sabi ko saka siya tiningala. I was kind of surprised to see him smiling unreasonably while already staring at me.

"I told them you are already sleeping…" He pursed his lips, hiding a malicious smile.

"When?" Kunot pa rin ang noo ko habang pinagmamasdan ang walang humpay niyang pagngiti na para bang may alam siyang hindi ko alam.

"While you were changing," sagot niya.

Ngumuso ako sa kaniya dahil nagtataka ako sa ngiti niya. And I hoped he didn't just let those guys think anything they wanted just because we were sleeping together, because his playful smile told me that he somehow did.

"Good night, misseu…" He told me, still wearing that playful smile.

In the end, a wide smile won over my lips. Isiniksik ko ang sarili ko sa katawan niya habang pumipikit na rin. "Good night, Jimin," I murmured through his chest.

Kinabukasan, hindi ko na pinalagpas pa ang pagkakataon na maka-usap silang lahat tungkol sa kailangang mangyari kahit na pare-pareho naming hindi gusto iyon. I took the chance during breakfast to talk with them. Luckily, it went well. They all submissively agreed to me.

Napagplanuhan nilang lumipad pa-Korea sa darating na linggo, dalawang araw mula ngayon. That was a better composition than staying here for long. Sa tingin ko ay okay na rin iyon dahil day off ko sa araw na iyon. I could send them to airport and watch them leave. It would be like inflicting a pain to my own self.

Lumipas ang isang buong araw sa office. James never confronted me. Mas mukhang iniiwasan niya nga ako e. Si Chelsea naman ay hindi na binuksan pa ang topic tungkol sa amin ni James and I didn't know if I should thank her for that. Had I listened to her before, wouldn't things be like this? Had I took her words seriously, would things change?

Hindi ko gustong masira ang pagkakaibigan namin ni James pero kung iba ang inaasahan niya sa akin, then I was afraid I could only give him friendship and disregard what he wanted from me.

"Yes, Mang. I'm not forgetting," sabi ko kay Mamang na nasa kabilang linya at kanina pa ako kinukulit mula pa sa office habang nagmamaneho ako pauwi.  Iisang kamay mo lang ang nakahawak sa manibela dahil nasa phone kong nasa tainga ang isa pang kamay ko.

["'Nak, I know you. This Sunday, I'll call you often so you won't forget it. Your cousins will come too. It's just a small reunion. Kagagaling lang ng Tita Zia mo from England. They'll stay here for a week then will fly to Singapore after. You need to at least keep a safe and close relationship with your cousins,"] mahabang litanya niya.

I rolled my eyes as I maneuvered the wheel to take a safe turn. Nasa daan ang mga mata ko para panatilihin ang focus sa pag-da-drive. Hindi ko masyadong close ang mga pinsan ko, from both of my parents' sides. I didn't really get along with a lot of people and they were not an exception. Hindi ko rin naman kasi sila masyadong kilala. I could only count on my one hand how many times we had met.

There were actually a lot of vacations I had missed plus our families didn't often do reunions, only a few instances.

"You've said that for the third time, Mang," wika ko dahil hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses niya na iyon nasabi at nakikita kong wala siyang balak tantanan ako hanggang sa sumapit ang linggo.

We had been talking for like half an hour. Tumawag siya para sabihin sa aking may handaan sa bahay dahil sa pagdating ni Tita Zia at ang pamilya nito ngayong linggo galing sa Europe. Some of my cousins from around the country would come too. Sa bahay tutuloy sina Tita Zia dahil panigurado sa pangungulit na naman ni Mamang. It was not like they didn't have their own house here in the Philippines.

Sila pa ba?

When Lolo died, my father's father, he had given his children their fair share of inheritance, houses and properties, bukod pa roon ang shares ng mga ito sa kumpaniya ni Lolo na ngayon ay pinamamahalaan ni Tito Brian, ang Ursula Group of Companies.

["You want me to fetch you on Sunday? I can drive back and forth from Val.,"] she offered generously when I knew that she just wanted to assure that I was not going to ditch the reunion.

Kahit hindi niya nakikita ay umiling ako at bumuntong-hininga. Segurista talaga siya. She would really make sure I would come. Madalas kasi ay hindi ako pumupunta sa mga family celebration and reunions. Well, not when my mother was personally fetching me here.

"And I can probably drive too, Mang. Pupunta ako. I promise," sabi ko para sa ikatatahimik niya. I heard squeaking sound from the other line and some thumping.

["That's good! You promised, alright. I'll hang up now. Take care, Hanselle. I love you,"] she said, not really properly oriented that promises are meant to be broken.

I smiled as I tightly gripped on the wheel. Kahit na napakakulit niya na minsan ay nakaka-inis na, hindi ko pa rin ma-itatangging gustong-gusto ko kapag naglalambing siya. My Mamang was the best of the bests. And well, I was way too lucky because she was my mother.

"I love you too, Mang," nakangiti kong sagot.

Nang sumapit ang linggo ay maaga akong lumabas para mamili ng mga rekados para sa lulutuin ko—it felt strange to be honest. I had my list of recipes courtesy of the cooking site I visited last night. Balak kong ipagluto ang BTS ng Carbonara. It was my favorite so I wanted to cook it for them. Hindi ako marunong but I thought I could seek help from some cooking sites.

Puwede kong tawagan si Mamang para magpaturo pero naisip ko ring paniguradong busy siya dahil sa paghahanda sa pagdating nina Tita Zia ngayong araw. She became the most favourite in-law because of that. Her hospitality was not a joke. And that was a thing I didn't inherit from her.

There was a department store near the building, much to my convenience. Doon ako madalas mag-shop ng mga personal hygienes ko at ilang personal things dahil hindi naman ako nag-go-grocery. Medyo nahirapan pa ako sa pamimili dahil sinunod ko ang mga nasa recipe. Even the amounts, the quantity and all.

I wanted this to be perfect. Hindi pa ako nagluluto sa tanang buhay ko. At mas lalo namang hindi pa ako nagluluto para sa ibang tao.

"Ah, miss. Would you like a customer service?" tanong sa akin ng lalaking nakasuot ng asul na T-shirt at may parehong tatak ng suot ng mga cashier.

I smiled politely at the kind guy as I struggled to hold the plastic bags in both of my hands. "No, no. I can manage," sagot ko habang umiiling.

He stared at me for awhile before backing off. "Okay," aniya habang tumatango.

Pinagsisihan ko ang desisyon ko kaninang hindi magdala ng kotse. Bakit naman kasi umabot sa dalawang malalaking plastic bags ang mga pinamili ko? I just needed a recipe for my Carbonara!

I couldn't help but throw everything I wanted to my push cart while I was shopping for recipes, and who said I needed push cart?! Iyon na kasi ang kinuha ko since I was too amazed of it. Seeing those people pushing it, filling it with their choices.

Forgive me, that was a first time for me.

"Crap, my arm!" Agad kong pinaghahaplos ang mga braso ko nang ma-ilapag ko na sa counter ang mga pinamili ko. I even stretched my arms to relax them. "I should start now. Hapon ang flight ng mga iyon. I don't know how many hours it will take for me to cook," wika ko sa sarili ko habang kinakalkula ng oras.

Nagsuot ako ng hairnet, cooking gloves at apron. Iyon kasi ang advice sa aking ng sinusunod kong cooking tutorial. Didn't know all these stuff would be in used now. Nakatambak lang kasi ang mga ito sa kusina ko.

"Hm…" Habang pinapakulo ko ang noodles ay binabasa ko sa phone ko ang kasunod na proseso. This was harder than what I thought. Panay ang tingin ko sa stop watch na sinet up ko para sa mga timing na kinakailangan. It said I needed to boil the pasta for about fifteen minutes, so I had to set my stopwatch to fifteen minutes exactly. "Sauce, sauce… mix the sauce while waiting for the noodles to get boiled?" saad ko saka ko hinanap mula sa mga hinanda kong recipe ang mga ingredients na kakaikanganin sa pagtitimpla ng sauce.

"Ouch!" I screamed when I accidentally touched the pan. Agad kong dinala sa bibig ko ang daliri kong napaso at hinipan para wala ang sakit. I needed to take my gloves off when I washed the ingredients a while ago and I forgot to wear them again. Nang makabawi ako sa napaso kong daliri ay nagpatuloy ako. I just hoped my burned finger wouldn't get a bruise later.

"Crap! This is a mess!" sigaw ko habang natataranta dahil sa makalat na countertop nang patayin ko na ang kabilang stove dahil tapos na ako sa sauce.

Ipinunas ko sa suot kong apron ang dalawang kamay ko matapos kong damputin sa counter ang ilang nasayang na mushrooms at diretsong itinapon sa basurahan. I decided to put a few amount of mushroom. Nahirapan din ako sa pag-slice ng ilang rekados.

Naisip ko tuloy, Jin must be so blessed to have talented hands. Crap, I was not just friends with knives!

"Oh shoot! It over cooked!" Pinatay ko ang stove habang bumubuntong-hininga dahil hindi ko alam kung gaano na katagal huminto ang stopwatch. Hindi ko napansin dahil mas naagaw ng makalat na countertop ang atensyon ko.

Now… now I had got an even messier kitchen. Hindi ko alam kung paano napapanatili ni Jin ang malinis na kapaligiran sa tuwing nagluluto siya. I just didn't fail on that matter. I failed overall!

Nakagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko nang makita kong namumula ang parte ng braso kong nasunog. Nagtungo ako sa sink at binanlawan ito.

"Ouch…" I uttered as it stung a little because of the sudden contact with the cold water, it actually looked like a balloon. Pinatungan ko na lang iyon ng simpleng gauze para hindi ma-irritate. I prepared the finished dish in a big transparent glass fish shaped plate. Pagkatapos ay nag-ayos na ako ng sarili ko.

I couldn't wait to get them eat what I cooked for them. Hindi naman masyadong nagmukhang disaster ang luto ko, at saka, for a starter… or for a girl who wasn't good at anything, my work was just fine.

I thought so…

I just wore a simple white v-neck shirt and white denim shorts with a black suspenders. Nag-apply din ako ng very very small amount lang ng makeup. Kaunting foundation and a shade of pink lip tint. For the total package, I wore my high gladiator sandal.

When I thought I was all ready, lumabas na ako ng bahay para katukin ang BTS.