Throw me in a box with the oxygen off

You gave me the key and then you locked every lock

When I can't breathe, I won't ask you to stop

-The Neighbourhood, R.I.P. 2 My Youth

~Flashback~

I had stared at the ground allowing the rhythmic sounds of the monitor to fill the insufferable silence.

Taking a deep breath, I had looked back at Jared. My eyes stung as I looked over the bruise on Jared's face and the multiple casts he was supporting.

I ran a shaky hand over my head, trying to stay calm. My aunt was with me, but she had went down to the cafeteria.

"They lost the tournament," I had told Jared, "Fifth place. It wasn't much of a surprise really. They have no offense without you. They probably didn't even have possession of the ball for half the games. Mom would have-" I stopped short, my breath hitching in my chest.

Mom.

I quickly wiped a tear that escaped.

No. I couldn't go there.

I couldn't.

"You need to fight," I said with determination looking at Jared's pale features. "I can't do this without you. I'm sorry for what I said, but you can't give up on me. I need you to fight."

"I'm so sorry. Just fight," I begged taking Jared's hand.

Before I could continue on, the monitor began beeping rapidly. I sat up, my eyes wide. My heart had hammered in my chest as nurses and doctors rushed in.

"He's crashing," one of them said turning around to pick up the defibrillators.

"What's happening. What're you doing," I shouted as they surrounded my brother.

"I'm sorry, but we need you to wait outside," One of them blocked my view. I strained to look over, but she backed me out of the room. "We're doing everything we can," she reassured.

A lump formed in the back of my throat as the nurse went back in. I watched through a clouded vision as Jared's chest jolted.

I covered my ears as I fell to the floor, my back against the wall.

The monitor wouldn't stop blaring.

It had been loud and urgent, warning.

And then it stopped. I had watched as a look of defeat took over the doctors' faces.

But I didn't need a doctor to know what a flatline sounded like.

April 16, 2016: 10:23 a.m.

"Reece."

I blinked turning back to Lexi. She was watching me with a patient expression.

"I was asking how you were holding up. I know your brother's birthday was just the other day." Lexi continued when I didn't say anything.

"Right," I said my voice raspy. She didn't have to remind me. I had a massive hangover that was doing a great job. "I'm fine."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

She scribbled in her notebook.

"So how is your fake relationship going?" Lexi changed the subject.

"She has a real boyfriend."

"Excuse me?"

I broke out of my trance and shifted my gaze to her, "McKenna. She has a real boyfriend. I really don't know how it works."

"What do you mean?"

"We're with each other a few days out the week. Then she's constantly working on her album so I don't get how she has another relationship going. It's illogical and impractical really," I said chucking at the ludicrous-y of it.

More scribbling.

"Do you want her to have another relationship?" Lexi asked in the same calming manner as if we were sitting around a coffee table drinking tea.

"What're you talking about?"

"Does it bother you that she has another relationship."

"Why would it bother me?"

She shrugged as if she was just throwing ideas out. "Well like you said. You two spend a lot of time together. It's natural for people with that kind of relationship to feel some type of intimacy with the other."

I let out a laugh, "Me and McKenna? No. Definitely not."

"Why not?"

"Because she's McKenna. I mean yeah she's attractive and I like talking to her. But she's also too difficult and too-" I broke off trying to find a word for it.

"Too real?" Lexi suggested.

I shut my mouth, taken back by her choice of words.

"We're fake. She has a real relationship." I stated for clarity.

"We've gone over that," she nodded, "But here you are talking about her."

I didn't see what she was getting at. Did she forget she asked about my relationship in the first place?

Her nonchalant tone contradicted her caring eyes so well it was hard for me to determine if she really cared or if she was just doing her job.

"What would you want me to talk about then?" I questioned, "That Jared was supposed to be twenty-one now. That we should have celebrated his birthday except he's gone now-along with my mom. That since he couldn't celebrate, I took a few shots for him?"

"If that's what's on your mind, then yes," Lexi said not allowing my harsh tone to get to her. Her need to continue to remain unfazed made me hate myself even more.

I was such an asshole. That hadn't changed one bit.

I took a deep breath, rubbing my eyes. "I thought being able to sleep would help, but it's more than that. I'm tired. I'm always tired." I urged myself to look at Lexi feeling the tears threatening to escape. "I see them. They're in my dreams-when I'm awake."

"Dreams or memories?" Lexi asked.

I nodded. "It's real for the most part. Before the accident. After it. It doesn't stop," I told her, my voice quivering. I needed it to stop.

"It's been almost three years," I echoed, "This shouldn't be happening."

Lexi nodded sympathetically. "You're remembering Reece," she said, "You've been triggered and you're remembering the events you tried to shut out."

I swallowed, not liking the sound of that.

"I just need to sleep."

A/N: Short chapter but I'll try to update as quick as I can. It's the dreaded finals week around the corner so bear with me here.

Anyways what did you guys think? This is a little on the gloomy side of the book but I did say those chapters were coming. Reece does not have the best past might I say.

Vote/ Comment :)