Not every smile can be a smile. It may have grief behind the mirage called SMILE. You just have to look into her eye, only if she was strong enough to meet her eye with an eye.

-Bhavana:-)

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A/N-

Bold - Third person PoV

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Hyderabad
Morning

I stirred in my sleep as the morning rays hit my face. My bed is just beside the window. And I always sleep opening the window beside me. In the night, I get fresh air from the window beside me. I don't even need a fan for that. The fresh air I get is not at all comparable with the air a Fan gives me. Our house is just beside the land where there are several different plants. I love plants. I love animals. I love nature, which is why I tend to my Rose plant and a Jasmine plant every day. Who says they can't talk? They talk to me. Whenever I tend to them with water and plant food, they talk to me, they respond to me just by giving me a rose after a few days. I don't know why, everyone likes to pluck the rose from the plant, kill the lively rose, take the rose away from its mother. Yes, I feel just like that. Even though the rose looks beautiful in my waist-length long hair, my heart never let me pluck the rose. As if I'm doing a crime. I don't know how wrong or right it is. If by plucking the rose, my mood gets off, I don't want to do that. After all, I'd like to be happy always. How can I kill my friend? Yes, plants and their kids are my friends. If my mother gave birth to me, the rose plant too gave birth to a rose, right? Then how can I kill it? Is it not a bad manner to hurt someone? I'm though a short girl and a kid, I have good manners. I'll never hurt anyone in my entire life. My teacher says about good manners every day. I'm a good girl. Not knowing that the same hurt will be her companion for her entire life. Not everyone is innocent and so pure like her, right?

Waking up every morning with the healthy rays falling on my head, nostrils taking the aroma of the plants and their freshness just beside my house, is heaven. True heaven! This is called happiness, the moment filled with enjoyment is extremely fascinating. Unknown to the fact that these moments will become her memories of yesterday.

As my hazelnuts gaze fell on the plants beside my window, I woke up from my mattress and smiled at my friends. The vision is so beautiful. Just like a dream, a real dream. I watched the time beside which is kept beside my bed.

6:00 AM, my usual time of waking up.

And then my gaze fell on the other bed which is beside the wall, in the corner of the room. My brother is still sleeping, that doesn't mean he wakes at 6:00 AM. Sometimes, he does, just to play cricket for one hour in the morning. Looks like today is not the day. I walked towards my brother and tucked him in a blanket.

I have to get brushed and then tend to plants. As I remembered it, I just rushed into the washroom. I took my brush with the Colgate paste and brushed my teeth for five minutes.

As I completed brushing and washing my face, I went outside my bedroom and into the hall. My house is a single floor, 2BHK independent house with a little garden outside. I love my home. As I stepped into the hall, I saw my dad, he is already ready in his formal dress, as always. My father, John D'Souz is a small struggling businessman. Every day, he goes to his office by 7:00 AM, to reach his office by 7 in the morning, he gets started at 6:00 AM. And then gets home at 11:00 PM. Due to the same reason, My mother and father are getting into fights frequently. I and my little brother get scared and start crying looking at them fighting but then after some days, they will become all fine. I'm all used to this. Due to my father's busy schedule, I don't even get 10 minutes to spend time with him.

If I get time with my father, that's only when I bring my academic report card home and he will just sign it off.

I'm the topper in my class. Even from the nursery class, I'm always enthusiastic about learning, which is why I always get top marks. But until now, my father didn't acknowledge my top marks, shoo-ing them away. From nursery to this class, not even once he praised me for being the topper always, for being the first ranked always.

I always get 592 to 598 marks out of a total of 600. Yet, my father while signing the report asks me what I'm doing with the other 5 to 8 marks, where it is going and why aren't you getting 100%? I always try to get 100% but never got. Anyway, how does that matter when I'm the one who has the highest score? I don't understand my father and I don't know how to please him as well. I always try my best. Couldn't he simply say "good, beta?", if not more than that. I'll be happy, at least.

I came out of my thoughts as I heard my father zoom away in his bike. I wished my mother a good morning and went to the little garden on my balcony. I looked at the newly bloomed red rose. As I touched it, it felt so soft. With the smile intact on my face, I took the empty bucket and went towards the tap to fill it. I started watering the plants and given them the plant food. After a full half-an-hour, my night pant along with my hands got dirty. I went towards the tap outside and washed my hands.

6:30 AM

I went inside my house and rushed to the washroom, to get rid of my nightdress and get ready with my school uniform.

I looked up to see my brother still sleeping after I got ready in my school uniform. I take half-an-hour to get ready. As it is 7:00 AM now, I've to wake him up. Or else he will be late for school. Along with him, I'll too get late.

"Anand!" I shook my 7-year-old little brother. He stirred in his sleep and tucked inside the blanket.

"5 minutes, di," I heard my brother mumbling under the blanket. I know this 5 minutes will become 50 minutes if I don't wake him up in his style. I took the bottle beside me and poured some water into the bottle cap, threw them at his face removing the blanket away.

"Di!!" I heard him grunt as he woke up with an angry frown.

"What Di? It's 7:00 AM, now. Get up and go, bath. You will take one hour to get ready anyway. Just go or do you want your teacher to call me again?" I remembered him of his teacher when she called me to complain about him.

Looks like he remembered the incident, he got up with a grunt and went to the washroom.

I took his blanket and folded it neatly, after setting the bed, I went to the kitchen to see if my mother needs any help. My mother, Sara D'Souz. She is a housewife and my mentor. She is the one who comes to my parents and teacher's meeting. When I get any doubt, she becomes my teacher and is always there beside me. She taught me to be independent. I now get ready by myself, do my braid by myself and complete my work by myself. She taught me all.

But, whenever she gets angry at some else and she lashes out at me for no fault of mine, I don't know why; I would just cry as she does that, that it hurts. Very much! But, then I'm used to it. I brushed away the thought as if to shoo away everything which made my mom hurt me, without any fault of mine.

As I strode into the kitchen, my mom is busy chopping the vegetables while breakfast is ready.

"Mom, do you need any help?" I asked my mom and she looked down at me.

"No, dear. I don't need any help. But, as soon as your brother freshen up, you just serve the breakfast. Okay?" I nodded at her and went away.

I sat on the sofa switching on the tv to put on some songs. After an hour, my brother got ready and we had snacks along with my mother. After that, I packed mine and my brother's lunch box. I looked up to see the time on the wall, a big wall clock is hanging in the hall.

8:10 AM

Our school starts at 8:45 AM. We can reach our school by walking for 20 minutes. I picked my bag and let my brother pick his bag. As we are done with our shoes, we bid bye to our mother.

School
8:35 AM

I entered my class to sit on my bench. We shuffle our benches every day so that every student gets a chance to sit on the first bench. And today, my bench is the last one. I hate the last benches, not because I won't be able to see the board but because every teacher's attention will be on the last bench. And I wouldn't have the chance to play pranks or have fun while sitting in the last. No teacher concentrates on the first bench which is why I love the first bench. I'm disappointed that I couldn't have fun today.

"Hi, Adina!" I heard my friend, Maya call me. She is my bench mate and my best friend, the second topper in our class. I heard my friends from another section say that first ranker and second ranker never go well with each other. But, Maya is a good girl. She and I are best friends. We help each other study well.

"Hi, Maya!" I greeted back at her. She's already sitting on our bench and I went to sit beside her, smiling at her.

"Had Breakfast," she queried me.

"Yeah! I had. You?" I asked Maya back.

"I had," I heard her reply and we are soon engrossed in some conversations like what we did in the evening and about homework.

"Hi, Adina and Maya!" I heard Manav's voice. I and Maya looked up at Manav as he greeted us. There is a rule that every bench must have 2 girls and 1 boy or 1 girl and 2 boys. On our bench, Maya, Manav, and I sit together with me being in the middle. To my right, it is Maya and to my left, it is Manav. We three would have fun always as Manav is my other best friend as well. Today is not our lucky day to have fun as we did when we are sitting on the fourth bench two days back, not knowing that, I can't have fun from today, anymore.

We heard a school bell ring and that indicated to us it is the time for assembly. It's 8:45 AM. Soon we are assembled in the huge playground for praying before we start the classes.

As we came to our classroom after finishing the prayers of 15 minutes, our class teacher arrived.

"Good Morrrnnnninnnnng, Teacher!" we stood up to greet our teacher in our usual style.

"Good Morning, kids! Sit down." I sat down as soon as the teacher said it.

Soon, she started her new lesson after taking attendance of every student.

"Adina," I heard my teacher call me. As I was looking down at my book, reading the new lesson my English teacher taught me, I looked up at her as soon as I heard her. English teacher is my favorite Teacher. Even though she scolds me whenever I do some mistake, I still like her very much. I don't know why! But, do I need to search for a reason behind my like towards my teacher? No need, I guess. Smitha Teacher will always be my favorite.

"Yes, Teacher?" I stood up in respect. Smitha teacher smiled looking down at me.

"God bless you!" I am surprised as I heard my teacher bless me. Nevertheless, remembering the manners, I smiled at her.

" Thank you, Teacher. But, why," I questioned her as it is confusing me. Why did the teacher bless me all of a sudden?

"I read the essay you have written for the contest, Adina. You have a great future. God will bless you with success and happiness," as I heard my teacher praise me, I can only show my pearl teeth as in gratitude. It's not that she never praised me, she did but a blessing? It was something she doesn't give to anybody. Today, getting it from her was something beyond happiness. True that I have written an essay for the contest my seniors conducted for our class. But I didn't know that Smitha teacher was going to evaluate or else how could she particularly read my essay? However, I am beyond smiles. Only if my dad recognizes my talent, my hard work, and appreciates me. As the thought got to my mind, my lips curved down in a sad pout.

Smitha Teacher probably not noticed my facial changes as she heard someone talk from behind her. She turned towards two kids behind her to scold them. In the meantime, I came back to myself, putting a smile on my smile. After all, I should be happy that there is someone who is appreciating my efforts. Convincing myself, I looked up at my teacher as she finished scolding my classmates.

I smiled at the teacher while she gently caressed my head. I closed my eyes feeling something special.

"Okay, so, tell me, what do you want to become in the future?", my teacher probably tried to know about my goal.

"Scientist!" I said without a second thought.

"I want to invent something, do something innovative, teacher." I grinned looking at her as I said that. My goal is to become a scientist. It's my dream. I will achieve it one day irrespective of any hurdles.

"You'll surely become a one, dear. I'm sure. My blessings are always with you." I beamed at my teacher as she blessed me again. I'll surely achieve my dreams. No one can stop me from chasing them. Not knowing that I wouldn't even want to live in the future but I would need to live in the future.

"Okay, students! Are you done with the revision?" Smitha Teacher asked everyone.

"Yes, Teaaachheeer!" I along with everyone chorused.

"Okay, close your books now," We heard the teacher order us. We obeyed her and closed our books.

"So, I've told you about great places and their location with meanings, right! Let me know how much you heard me." I looked at the teacher as she examined every student in our class when her gaze fell on the front student, Samar.

"Samar, Stand up!" Samar stood up as the teacher ordered him.

"Tell me, what is Charminar?"

"Charminar is a minar which has four minars," Samrat mumbled and everyone laughed at the answer.

Evening
5:00 PM

It has been a wonderful day with many new lessons I've learned, adding to it, the blessings of Smitha Teacher, I can't help but do a little dance in my euphoria. I know I'll be a successful person to achieve my dreams. I've just come out of the bathroom after having a bath. I've six subjects homework to complete.

I have this habit of OCD. I want everything perfect around me. I have this habit of completing my school works even before having snacks. I just can't concentrate on anything if don't complete my homework. Only after completing, I have snacks and play with my friends for the time I've fixed for myself. Oh, yes! I maintain a time table for my daily tasks. And I do follow that.

Now, 5-5:45 PM, it's my homework time. I took my bag and books and sat on my bed, completing my homework.

5:25 PM

I've completed three subjects while the other three subjects are still left. As I was going to open another subject, I heard my mom call out to me.

"Adina," I heard my mother scream from the Kitchen. I closed my books as I was half-way done with my homework and made my way to the Kitchen. My today's class was fabulous. I've learned a new lesson. I've learned the 18th table in maths class as well. After all, studying in the third class, the 18th table was difficult. Three more subject's homework is left to do. I can complete it after I'm done with my mother's work.

" Yeah, Mom?" I looked up at my mom as she looked down at me. She was cutting the onions, probably to prepare snacks.

"Dear, go and bring eggs, by a nearby shop. Your brother has gone to the playground. Go and come fast," I heard my mother order me. I nodded at her as she handed over the money to me. I'm just a 9-year-old girl yet I help my mother whenever it was needed. Washing the clothes and utensils, cleaning the house, and bringing the necessities whenever my brother will be absent, which happens most often. After all, this is how a middle-class family works.

I took the money from her and went outside in my black frock. I'm a bubbly girl who loves to play, make friends, and dream high. Owing to the facts, I went all the way with a smile on my face to a nearby shop, not knowing that I may return with no-more bubbly-girl tag.

I know in our area, there is only one shop. Even our area is a deserted place where people are very less.

(Mature content - Rape.
Whoever is not comfortable reading this, stop here. Especially any victims.)

The shop is open. I started walking towards it. There are only a few people on the road, two kids and a much older couple. Other than that, cars and bikes are going from here and there with jet speed. This is nothing unusual. Because, on the other side of this area, there's a saying that ghosts and kidnappers roam over there. So, it's kind of a deserted place. My mother never let me go to the other side of this area and I too never tried to go over there. Not knowing that it would have been better if I go to another side of the area, because this area is going to destroy her life.

True, invisible ghosts are better than visible humans who are nothing but cruel.

I went inside the shop and looked at the uncle who is sitting on his cabinet chair.

"Uncle?" he looked up at me. His looks always look so scary. I don't know why he looks at me like that. Even the uncle, who just stood outside the shop gives me the same feeling. It feels so creepy and disgusting. I don't like it, at all. That's why I would come fast and will run as soon as I get my things, to get away from the people who discomfort me.

"4 Eggs," I asked him, giving him the money. As I extended my hands, he took the money and at the same time grabbed my hand. I'm getting so scared. Why he is gripping my hand tight? It's painful. My orbs turned moist and one more pressure or he will not leave, my tears would roll down. I have to get away from this place. I have to!

"Lea.. Leave m..my ha..nd, unc...le," I mumbled as tears rolled down my eyes. I'm scared. My hand is hurting as well. My heart is thudding fast that I can hear my heartbeats. Am I going to die? I'm getting more scared as his eyes roamed over my body. Please, somebody, come. Jesus, save me. He is hurting me. I looked outside to call anyone, even the older couple if it is. But, as I opened my mouth to scream, a hand clasped my mouth tight while my hand is still held by him.

He's now standing in front of me caging my small frame in his hands. I struggled to get away, kicking him, struggling to leave my hands. But, my smaller frame is weak in front of his body. I didn't lose hope and struggled to get away looking for anyone outside. That's when the uncle who held me signaled the other uncle outside the shop which went unnoticed by me. The other uncle came near us, towards the shutter, and closed it, closing every other way for me to escape and take help.

I struggled against him as he now held both hands of mine. I cried in front of him to leave me. He didn't listen to me as he held my waist now. It's hurting very much. How can anyone hurt anyone to this extent? I cried out loud again and he didn't show mercy on me. A second later, I found his lips on my face, my lips, and his tongue touching my skin. It's so disgusting. What he is doing with me, God? I'm feeling as if thousands of worms are crawling over my body. I don't know what he is doing with me and I kept crying, pleading, struggling in front of him to leave me. I'm screaming now as his other hand touched my private part. I don't know why he is touching me there. I don't know. What is this, God?

"Shut up!!" I heard him shout at me. I cried, even more, looking at him. He lifted me and threw me on the floor. Mom, Dad, please save me. Anyone, please. Please. Please. Please. Save me. Please.

I tried to get up when he, in a swift motion towered over me, grabbing my hands with his single hand while with the other hand stuffed a cloth in my mouth. I cried helplessly. He is going to do disgusting things. Will I be alive? Will I see my parents? Will he kill me? Save me. Save me, somebody. God, please help me. Ma!

He started doing things again with his lips and tongue, biting me with his teeth as if I'm an eatable. I beat him with my hands, scratched him with my muffled cries increasing more. He didn't even flinch with my scratching and continued doing the same disgusting things.

He got up from over my tiny body and I felt as if I'm alive again. Will he leave me now? I tried to get up but again, he caught my legs. I don't know what more he is going to do. He caught my legs and started doing the same things. I took the cloth away from my mouth as he released my hands.

"L..ea..Leav..Leave m..me, pl..ea..se..." I mumbled, my voice became sore with the pain. As he heard my voice, he stopped doing things and again towered over me, stuffing the cloth again in my mouth.

"Shut up, girl. Let me enjoy and another one is waiting outside, already. Stop struggling." I don't know what does it mean but I can guess the other man is going to do the same. Why it's happening to me?

He opened my legs lifting the frock to my waist. I can't help but cry more, as his other hand clasped my both hands in a single grip. He threw my panty away. Why? What will he get by doing this? God, please do something.

My blurry eyes looked up at him as he took away his belt taking his pants down with his other hand. Would he beat me with the belt? I sobbed taking away cloth but not making any sound lest he again stuffs the cloth.

He smiled creepily at me while I'm crying. He didn't notice my mouth not having a cloth stuffed with it. Or maybe he did. He took his something out and crawled over me while I tried moving back only to wince in pain as the floor is quite rough.

And then he thrust that something into my private part.

"Ahhhh! Aaaahh! Ma!" I screamed as I felt pain with that something shoving into my private part. I don't know why he is doing it and what will he get? It's paining like hell. I couldn't breathe as he clasped my mouth with his hands to muffle my screams. It's hurting. Will I be alive in the end? I can sense something break inside me. I can sense some fluid flowing out. Is it blood? Am I dying? God, what did I do to you? Why are you punishing me? Why are you not listening to the silent pleas? Why? I'm suffering, suffering from terrible pain. I can't take this pain. Take me away. Take me away, please.

I cried silently closing my eyes as he kept hurting me. As I opened my eyes, my eyes fell on the side, there sat a weighing rod of 2Kg. I stretched my weak hand. I'm able to reach it. But, my hand is not enough strong to grab it, hold it. I slowly dragged the rod to my side while on the other side I'm hurting. He is too lost in hurting me. I held the rod and lifted it with my hand. I brought it above his back and before it could reach his back, it slipped from my hand as the weight is too much for me. It fell on his neck and he screamed as it fell all of a sudden. He left me holding his neck and his thing too left me. I stood up with difficulty. It's hurting too much, between my legs. I have to escape, I have to do something. My eyes fell on the fridge. I noticed an apple and a knife in the fridge along with milk products and cool drinks. I quickly opened the fridge and grabbed the knife. As I pulled the knife, he recovered from the pain and came near to me. I shoved the knife in front of him. Still, he kept coming near me and I attacked him with the knife. His hand got a deep cut with the force I poked. He screamed in pain and I took this chance to take the cloth and my panty, cleaning the blood I wore my panty, the shutter got open as the man in front of me kept banging on the shutter. The other man entered after lifting the shelter and I took the chance to run away. I ran away from the hell showing the knife to the two men. I ran away as fast as possible. As the road is a desert area, I found no one to call. I ran away to my home, it is 15 minutes away from here. I ran fast lest they find me.

(You can read it from here. Mature content - Rape, Ends.)

I ran as fast as possible even though my legs are hurting. The pain between my legs is unbearable. I reached my neighborhood. As I was running so fast, nobody got to notice my awful state. I kept running, it's better to run with the pain than having more pain later caused by them if they catch her If at all she stops running. Fear ruling her mind.

I reached my home in 8 minutes. I opened my house gate and took a deep breath. What must be neighborhood thinking about me? Whatever it is, it's nothing more important than my pain now. I limped towards the tap and washed my face, neck, hands, and legs. I kept washing them as if to remove the disgusting touch. My whole body is hurting. After I'm done with washing them thoroughly. I stood and controlled my tears lest they fall.

Should I tell about this to Mom? What will she think? How will she take it? I'm feeling disgusted with myself. Would she not feel the same if I tell her? What if this happens, again? Who will save me then? What if those men try to hurt me again?

I should tell Mom. I'm scared. Very scared. How can I say something like this? I can't. But, I know I have to or else they may do something. I limped inside the house and towards the Kitchen. I know my mom will be in the kitchen. As I neared the place, I heard a voice. My mother's voice.

"What do you mean by you can't come today?" My mother screamed on the phone. I can guess what's happening there. Another fight between my mother and father. Does that mean, mom will lash out at me again? But, I'm already hurt. Would she hurt me when I'm already hurt? She won't blow up her anger on me, now, right? She will notice my state and would listen to me. I know. I convinced myself and limped inside the kitchen. My mother hung up the call after cursing on the phone. My mother has serious anger issues. She will just lash at me whenever she gets angry. Should I tell her now? If I don't tell her, they may hurt me. I'm scared, confused, and hurt. I don't know what to do. I decided to tell her.

"Mom," I called out to her with my sour throat. It came as a whisper. Whenever my mom gets angry, I call her like this getting scared. But, right now, she's not only scared of her anger but also hurt, in terrible pain.

"What," she screamed at me. She is furious, I know but I have to tell her. I gulped down my pain and looked up with my moist hazel orbs. Still, she didn't turn towards my side busy doing chores.

"I...I want..t want to—" was going to ask her permission to if I could say something or not when she cut me off.

"Want? Want? What do you want? Huh? You always disturb me whenever you would want something. Can't you see I'm busy? Don't you have eyes? You won't get anything and just get lost from here. I don't even know why I gave birth to you. Go!" she screamed at me not even noticing my state. I shivered at her scream. I couldn't control my tears. It didn't stop, just flew out of my eyes. My mother turned away to do her work while I still stood there. She must have noticed my presence as she turned towards me.

"What? What are you looking at? Just Go and DIE for god's sake. I'll be happy." My mom wanted me to DIE. Die? Dying means not returning ever, right? I know my dad is not glad to have me. But, my mom? She too doesn't want me? I turned back and limped into my bedroom. I went to the washroom, opened the shower, and sat down on the stool. And the damn, I lost control. I couldn't help but cry out loud. I cried and cried until my throat dried up. My father doesn't need me. My mother wants me dead. My brother is too busy with his games. Where should I go? Does no one want me? Does anyone care for me? Whom should I share this with? Should I share this after all this? My mother wants me dead and if I say about this, would they hate me more? No! I won't. I won't tell about this anyone ever. I've only my mother, father, and brother. I don't want to lose them. I don't know whatever I decided is right or wrong. I'm scared. I'm scared of everyone now. I guess I'm unwanted. Nobody needs me. When nobody cares for me, needs me, does my hurt and pain matters? What if they lock me up in anger? I just want to stay like before, where mom lashes at me, after some days, everything will be fine. I want that. But is that possible now, when nobody loves me? I'll stay like this only. Whatever may happen. I won't open up to anyone, ever. I should accept this fate. I don't even know what happened to me? Whatever they did to me, what is that called? I don't know. I just don't know anything. I cried as I realized the fact. I cried until my throat died up. Thanks to the shower, nobody can hear me crying. I'll not cry in front of anyone, ever. I'll cry like this. It's more comfortable than crying in front of people who didn't even notice my state. Everyone is the same. Everyone hurts me. Everyone!

I stood up and went outside, took the towel and spare clothes of mine, and limped towards the washroom. I hung my dress and towel on a hanger. I removed my frock and the panty which has some blood on them. I put them aside and stood under the shower. And then that's the moment when I started hurting myself.

I scratched my face, hands, necks, legs, chest, and every single part of my body as I continued to cry. I want to remove the touch, it gives me a creepy feeling. I'm still getting the feeling as if something is crawling all over my body. I scratched, rubbed, and put on the soap more than four times. I want to destroy my body. It's already paining like hell and rubbing and scratching, this made my body pain more. I turned off the cold shower. I took my panty and frock. I've put it in the bucket pouring some surf with some warm water in it. After all, I've to wash, or else how would bloodstains disappear? I kept the bucket aside and turned on the shower with warm water, to relieve myself from the pain. I couldn't stand more. I'll fall if I did. So, I grabbed the towel and sat on the stool under the shower. As I opened my legs wide, I remembered him forcing himself upon me. Tears rolled down my eyes at the struggle I had to endure. Why? Why does she have to bear such pain? Why? It was best if I was dead. I wiped away my tears and took the towel and cleaned my private part. It's still paining as if someone shoved a knife in there. A wet towel with warm water is somewhat soothing the pain. After cleaning myself thoroughly, I washed my panty and frock. And after full two hours of spending time in the Bathroom. I went outside in my nightdress. I took my panty and frock to the balcony to dry it off, I hanged them on the thread and clipped them.

I went inside with a slight limp, as after tending it with warm water, pain decreased to some extent. I have noticed snacks sitting on the dining table. But, where is Mom? She is nowhere to be seen. I went to my parent's bedroom only to look at my mother sleeping. I closed the room door and went inside my room, not wanting to disturb her. I didn't open my window as I do like always. I don't know why? I'm not interested in these anymore. My three more subjects are sitting on my bed. I have to complete my homework as well. I didn't have the will to. I just want to sleep. Sleep and go into a dreamland where there is no one to hurt me. I did what I needed to do. Slept. Not knowing that I'm going into a deep shell called depression. And this is just the start. Not knowing that when I would wake up, I'd never want to sleep. Not knowing that Nightmares, sleeping paralysis, and PTSD are going to chase me. I will never have a peaceful nap, again. Never!

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