Monday 30th June 1997 - Part Three

Oh my god, Dumbledore is fucking CRAZY.

Trying to outdo Draco's little adventure, he took me to a cave to fetch a Horcrux, slitting his arm open on the way in to use his blood for the entrance fee. Ew.

To be fair, I did half heartedly offer up my own blood. But Dumbledore insisted I keep my strength, which was just as well since I had little of that left after fucking Draco all afternoon.

And then we had to row a dodgy little boat across to the middle of this lake which was filled with dead bodies. As I rammed the end of my oar in a dead man's eye, I could not help but feel bitter about the actual fuss that the school kicked up about needing a fucking signed permission slip to spend a leisurely and relatively harmless afternoon in Hogsmeade.

Oh, and of course we could not simply pick up the Horcrux and be on our merry way. No, no, no. Instead, I had to force feed water to my elderly headmaster which seemed to be fucking torturing him. And then, if that was not enough drama to be dealing with - the dead bodies decided to come out of the lake to play!

I did not think much of Dumbledore's idea of a school excursion.

At least I got a hotdog out of Draco's date.

*****

We Apparated back to Hogsmeade where Madam Rosmerta greeted us with the welcoming news that the Dark Mark had been cast above the Astronomy Tower in our absence.

Of course it fucking had.

I turned to look towards the castle and, sure enough, there it was. A blazing green skull with a serpent's tongue, just like on Draco's arm. I sighed heavily, wondering if I was ever going to get to fucking bed.

I thought back to Draco's strange behaviour just before we had parted ways and I experienced a horrible sinking realisation. Draco had known. This was why he had been acting so strange. He knew something was going to happen.

I could not believe that he was capable of anything like this.

No – actually, that was a lie. What I did not want to believe was that he could lay there and fuck me knowing that something like this was going to happen.

So off Dumbledore and I went, flying our broomsticks back to Hogwarts, with me trying to make sure that he did not fall to his death after his bout of evening torture. I could not help but wonder who had been killed. My fingers were crossed for Snape.

But when we reached the tower, however, there was no one there.

Feeling relieved that I could finally go to fucking bed, I emitted a not-so-subtle yawn and began to casually move towards the door, biding Dumbledore a cheery good night.

However, clearly not having ever heard off the importance of beauty sleep, Dumbledore had other ideas.

"Go and wake Severus," he demanded. "Tell him what has happened and bring him to me. Do nothing else, speak to nobody else and do not remove your Cloak. I shall wait here."

"But-"

"You swore to obey me, Etta - go!"

Oh, for fuck's sake. Was I ever going to get a fucking break in this god forsaken school? I found myself suddenly longing for the cupboard under the stairs.

But as I approached the door to the spiral staircase, I heard running footsteps on the other side. I looked round at Dumbledore, who gestured at me to back the fuck away. I did so, withdrawing my wand. My heart thudded in my chest. I was bricking it.

The door burst open and somebody ninja'd through it and yelled "Expelliarmus!"

Only it was not just anybody. IT WAS FUCKING DRACO.

Before I could react, my body became instantly rigid and immobile. I felt myself fall back against the Tower wall, propped like an unsteady statue, unable to move or speak. And not only that, but I was also still under my Invisibility Cloak. Oh cheers, Dumbledore. Thank you very fucking much.

"Good evening, Draco." Dumbledore simply said, chill as anything.

Draco stepped forwards, glancing around quickly to check that he and Dumbledore were alone. His eyes, which had fallen upon the second broom – my broom - widened slightly.

"Who else is here?" he demanded, keeping his wand poised threateningly towards Dumbledore's heart.

Me, you giant fuckwit! I wanted to scream. The witch you were ramming your cock into only hours earlier. But of course, I could not.

"A question I might ask you. Or are you acting alone?"

I watched as Draco's pale eyes shifted coldly back to Dumbledore.

"No," he said. "I've got back-up. There are Death Eaters here in your school tonight."

"Well, well," Dumbledore said, as though Draco was showing him an ambitious homework project. "Very good indeed. You found a way to let them in, did you?"

"Yeah," Draco said, who was panting now. "Right under your nose and you never realised!"

Literally every word he spoke was like being punched hard in the gut. I wanted him to stop, to lower his wand and admit that this was all some kind of practical joke.

"Ingenious," Dumbledore said. "Yet... forgive me... where are they now? You seem unsupported."

"They met some of your guard. They're having a fight down below. They won't be long... I came on ahead. I - I've got a job to do."

"Well, then, you must get on and do it, my dear boy," Dumbledore said softly.

Draco did not move. Draco did nothing but stare at Dumbledore. I wished so much that Dumbledore had not immobilised me. There were a few choice words I could think of to say to fill in this dreadful silence.

"Draco, Draco, you are not a killer."

"How do you know?" Draco said at once, the churlishness in his voice making me cringe. "You don't know what I'm capable of, you don't know what I've done!"

"Oh, yes, I do," Dumbledore said mildly. "You almost killed Katie Bell and Ronald Weasley. You have been trying, with increasing desperation, to kill me all year. Forgive me, Draco, but they have been feeble attempts... so feeble, to be honest, that I wonder whether your heart has been really in it..."

Anyway, this went on. And I had to stand there, invisible and fucking useless, while watching the boy who I had thought I had fallen in love with threaten the man who I looked upon as a father figure.

It broke my fucking heart.

"I can help you, Draco," Dumbledore said. He really is a good, kind man.

"No, you can't," Draco said, shaking so much that he could barely aim his wand. "Nobody can. He told me to do it or he'll kill me. I've got no choice."

And just like that, he let down his guard and showed his true colours as his eyes filled with terrified tears and his bottom lip quivered. I had never seen anyone look so vulnerable and frightened in my life. I wanted to hug him, to tell him that he did not have to do this, and it was all going to be okay because he had me.

Please, I silently begged, praying he could somehow hear my thoughts. Please, don't do this.

And then my heart rejoiced as he lowered his wand. He actually lowered it! Yes!

But it was too late. Other Death Eaters had joined us, and they buffeted Draco aside as four people in black robes burst through the door.

As Draco stumbled, he knocked into me. He looked around, confused. And then his eyes glanced back at the second broom and I saw realisation dawn on his face. He looked right at the spot I was standing frozen underneath the Invisibility Cloak. He knew.

Whilst the other Death Eaters were busy having a casual conversation with Dumbledore, Draco reached out, his eyes widening as his trembling fingers brushed against my invisible arm. Grappling wildly beneath the cloak, he found my hand, and clamped his own clammy one around it.

If I were not frozen, I would have sobbed.

And then Snape showed up, and I could not have been more relieved that Draco was holding my hand, because the moment that greasy haired shit yelled the curse that killed Dumbledore and lifted the Full Body-Bind Curse, the horror that hit me almost made me crumple in grief.

Instead, a scream stuck in the back of my throat as Draco gripped my hand tight, pressing himself so close to me that I could feel his own heart thudding just as wildly as mine.

"Out of here, quickly," Snape snapped, knocking Draco's shoulder before flying down the stairs after the other Death Eaters.

Still clutching Draco's hand, I yanked the Cloak off my head, and we stared at one another, eyes wide in shock and terror at what we had just witnessed.

"I'm sorry, Etta," he said, shaking head tearfully. "You must know, I didn't want any of this-"

"Don't go," I whispered as I felt him start to tug his hand away from mine. I was overcome by a wave of panic and I could not comprehend what had just happened, that Dumbledore was dead. Gone.

"I've got to, Etta," he trembled, letting his fingers slip out of mine. "I can't stay here anymore."

I cursed myself as tears pricked behind my eyes. Snape called back up the stairway for Draco to hurry up.

Draco gave me one last, regretful look, and then he turned and disappeared through the door, leaving me standing alone, shaking in shock. Dumbledore was gone.

And then a feeling of such hatred ripped right through me.

THAT GIT SNAPE FUCKING KILLED MY DUMBLEDORE!

Adrenaline fuelled my anger as I flew down the stairs. My only thought was to get to Snape and fucking kill the hooked nosed bastard.

I chased him through the castle, flying hexes at random Death Eaters like the fucking awesome witch I was.

Snape had killed Dumbledore and now he was taking my new fuck buddy away from me. He was going to pay.

But the fucking coward escaped. Oh - and it only turned out he was the Half Blood Prince all along! EW! I had been fangirling bloody Snape all sodding year!

I obviously had a thing for Death Eaters.

Defeated and broken, I morosely walked back up to the castle where the whole school had turned up and were all sobbing over Dumbledore's crumpled body.

On the bright side, I thought as I delved into my pocket to inspect the locket which we had risked life and limb to retrieve; we were one Horcrux down.

Only it was a fucking fake.

Resisting the urge to throw it in Dumbledore's dead face, I stropped back into the castle and finally went to bed.

Man, it sucked being me.

***