Ashen faced, Draco slowly closed the office door behind him.

"Etta," he breathed, making me wince at the sound of my name on his lips. I'd never seen him look so shocked before. I stayed silent, allowing him to process this information as he shakily lowered himself into the chair in front of my desk.

"Does he- does he know?" his voice sounded strangled, like he was finding it difficult to breathe. Standing up, I walked over to the water dispenser and filled a cup up for him, plonking it on the desk in front of him.

"No. No one knows. Only you."

I sat back down in my chair, exhaling slowly. It felt very strange to be having this conversation. I never thought I'd ever see Draco again, let alone this. Albus was everything to me and I was suddenly aware that the truth of his parentage coming out may cause a great rift between us. It terrified me.

"If I'd known-"

"Then you would have still gone back to your wife." I cut in abruptly. I didn't want to hear it. "She was carrying your child too, remember?"

Draco's head shot up at the bitterness of my tone and the guilt in his eyes was rife. Rather than make me feel satisfied, it just made me feel sad.

"I'm sorry, Etta, I'm sorry for how I left you."

"Don't," I said. A roaring noise had started up in my head as years of suppressed hurt and heartache started to mount to the surface. To hear his apologies and excuses would be too much. "What's done is done. Albus has had a happy childhood so far. I've been able to provide for him everything he needs."

"A father?"

"His father walked out on us before he even knew of his conception. His father had another family to worry about."

"Etta-"

"DON'T CALL ME ETTA!" The damn inside of me burst and the anger suddenly exploded through me, red hot and furious. "YOU LOST THE RIGHT TO CALL ME THAT WHEN YOU USED ME AS YOUR FUCKING SIDE HOE TO HELP YOU PATCH UP YOUR MARRIAGE!" I paused, trying to steady my heavy breaths. Draco at least had the decency to stay quiet and look utterly shamefaced. I lowered my voice. "For four months I deluded myself that you loved me, that what you and I had was not just some sleazy extramarital affair. And then one day - pfff - you're gone, leaving nothing but a pathetic piece of paper with two fucking words on it whilst you go crawling back to your wife, who by the way, you failed to mention you were trying for a baby with at the time!"

Draco closed his eyes, putting his head in his hands. "It wasn't like that, I thought I was doing the right thing."

I felt a bubble of laughter rise in my throat. "The right thing?" I scoffed. "Please Draco, you were screwing around behind your wife's back. I willingly got myself involved with someone else's husband. Nothing either you or I did was the right thing, no matter how much you try and dress it up."

Draco's face remained hidden behind long white fingers as he rubbed his eyes. He did not seem to have a response to this.

I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me. Abruptly, I stood up. I needed a moment to calm down, away from him.

"Where are you going?" Draco's head had shot up at the sound of my chair scraping back, a look of panic in his face as I headed to the door.

"To get a coffee," I gritted, "want one?"

"Oh- yeah...Yes please," he stayed in his seat as I stormed down the corridor to the office kitchen.

I fiercely flicked the kettle on and took a few steadying breaths as I waited for it to boil, trying to get my head around the situation.

Draco Malfoy was sat in my office having just discovered that he had fathered my child. Our child, I suppose. I had never thought of Albus as being an our child before. He was always just mine.

I was shaking from all the dormant emotions this had awakened inside of me; over twelve years of hurt, anger, shame and betrayal building inside of me like a pressure cooker threatening to explode.

I needed to calm the fuck down before I went back in there.

"Was that Draco Malfoy I saw go into your office?"

I froze, my back going rigid. Romilda Vane had just entered the kitchen behind me.

"Yes," I said abruptly, hoping she would not ask why.

"Oooo, lucky you," she cooed, giggling coyly. "He's still looking as foxy as ever, I see. Shame he's married, though."

As if that had ever fucking stopped him before.

I closed my eyes, willing for patience as she rambled on.

"But didn't you and he used to hate each other back at school? I seem to remember you nearly killed him once, didn't you? In that bathroom at Hogwarts, remember? All that blood!"

I wished she would just shut the fuck up.

"Ancient history, Vane. Now if you'll excuse me." I picked up the two mugs and indicated the door that she was still blocking. She hopped out of the way looking disappointed at the lack of any gossip to take back to the babbling idiots she still hung about with.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped back into the office. Draco was sat with the photo of Albus and me in his hand, studying it with great interest.

"He looks like you," he murmured as I placed his coffee down on the desk in front of him.

"He's got your eyes, though." I sat back down in my chair, cradling my coffee. "It was the first thing I noticed when Albus was born."

"So... Albus..." he spoke the name slowly, as though trying it on for size. "As in-?"

"Dumbledore, yes." I cut in sharply, experiencing a childish spark of satisfaction when I noticed him visibly flinch. "Albus Severus Potter."

Draco's eyes widened. "Snape," he shakily exhaled.

He looked up and our eyes met. A moment passed between us and I knew he was thinking the same as me. We had both been there to witness these wizard's last moments on earth. We had held one another, and given each other comfort, whilst we watched the people we had loved and respected get horrifically killed.

Albus for me, Severus for Draco.

"Etta-"

"Don't, Draco. Please don't." I couldn't bear hearing him call me Etta. It broke my heart all over again. Even after all this time, I still wanted him. I had never wanted anyone else.

He fell silent, glancing back down at the photo again.

"You two look so happy." He murmured quietly, a sad smile tugging at his lips.

"We were." And my heart gave a horrible twist when I remembered that right at that moment my son was on a train being whisked hundreds of miles away from me.

"You're going to miss him?"

I realised Draco was looking at me intently and, as my eyes flicked upwards, I was surprised to see he held a genuine look of compassion.

"Yes, very much." I tried to keep my voice steady, but a wobble still crept in. And judging by the flicker on Draco's face, he noticed it too.

"I'd like to meet him one day," he said slowly, carefully, as if testing the waters.

I let out an incredulous bark of laughter. "And tell him what, exactly? Are you seriously suggesting you'd be okay for it all to come out in the open? Because if you want to meet him, Draco, then that is exactly what you will be agreeing to. I refuse to let him be your dirty little secret."

Draco just looked at me, his mouth opening and closing mutely. Clearly, he was only just understanding the ramifications of what we had done.

"Perhaps if I introduced myself as a friend-?"

"NO!" I spat loudly, slamming my mug down on the desk as my eyes bored fiercely into his. I was not having it.

"He's my son-"

"You already have a son. Albus is my child. I've brought him up for the past eleven and a half years, Draco, whilst you were off playing happy families of your own."

Hurt flashed in his eyes, I knew I wasn't being fair, but my maternal instincts were kicking in and I refused to risk anything that could come between me and my child.

"I can't just stay away, Etta." I flinched at his use of my name again. His pained eyes looked at me imploringly. "Not now that I know."

"You've managed that just fine over the past twelve years, Draco. I'm sure you can cope with another twelve or so."

"Please, Etta-"

"Draco, if you ever loved me, if you ever cared for me as much as you said you did, then please do this one thing for me - stay away from me and my son. Go back to your wife and forget about us."

My heart was thudding but somehow I had managed to keep my voice steady. I needed him to realise I was serious.

Draco said nothing, he just sat there looking at me sadly. There was no anger or frustration in his face, just pure sorrow.

"If that's what you want," he murmured quietly.

No. It was not what I fucking wanted. What I wanted was to go back nineteen years and for Draco to have realised that I had in fact love him and not instead gone off and married another woman.

But, of course, I did not say any of that.

"Yes, Draco. It's what I want."

***