VI.

Back in my apartment, I put on The Stranger.
Not the sexiest choice of music, I know, but what the heck?
It keeps me at ease.

"I never thought a vampire would be into Ben Folds."

"It's Billy Joel, actually."

"Ewww."

Cue tense pause.

VII.

"Look, maybe I should introduce you
to some of the other post-lifers I know
before we take this any further."

"Hey, it's cool that you're looking out for me
but I don't need a Tito figure
to ease me into being undead.
So if you're having ethical qualms about it,
I can try my luck with some other vamp.
Plenty of horny old Vlads coming here
to feast on sex workers with impunity."

She looked through my shelves,
picking up a Taschen coffee table book
of Elmer Batters' vintage fetish photography.

"So this is what you're into, huh?"
With a mischievous grin,
she began unlacing her calf-high boots,
wiggling her toes in matte black stockings.

Even with my hesitation, I was clearly getting stiff.

"Just because you're a pair of fangs to me,
it doesn't mean I can't make this worth your while,"
said Betchay, rubbing her sole up my pant leg,
"Especially if it means that I get you to turn me sooner."

VIII.

Just like that, my reflexes kicked in and I was all nerves.
"I still want to go through with this, but just not tonight, okay?
I know this might seem overly cautious to someone your age,
but I have very good reasons not to make someone on a first date."

"Okay, so you're really playing the immortal adult card now?"
she asked, withdrawing her foot from my crotch.

"Well, I guess that's just too bad for both of us then."

"Oh, come on!"
I couldn't decide if she was actually upset or just being petulant.

Next thing I knew she was raiding the pantry.
"Seriously, don't you have anything gluten-free here?"