I was having a great life till I was 6. Then all started. My life started to change.

I was always a mommy's girl. I loved dresses, wear make up, dressing up, wear little tiny heels fit for my little feet.

I have an elder sister. We have seven year difference. We are half sisters, different dad but same mom. We weren't really the best sisters.

I have three little brothers, but back when I was six years, I had only two.

I was a girly girl. So so innocent I won't even know if someone said bad about me while smiling. So innocent I never thought sadness exist.

It was one fine evening my father called my mom home and when I followed her home, I saw her on the floor. He hit her, beat her. I started to cry. I was a cry baby.

Then things begin to change, every day I'll hear them fighting. Mom will ask me to go to my room but I didn't want any harm to her. My father and I weren't close, well he thought he was with me but I never was.

Then he'll leave home after fights, I was glad he did. But then he'll be back after weeks or months. I wish he never came back.

He blamed my mother that she have an affair with someother man. But I know him, I know her, I know who was having affair and who was living where and who was having kids with other.

All things started to get normal, like before. I got other younger brother. My so called father blamed mom that my brother wasn't his kid. Fights continued. I started to hate him. He try to brainwash me, when he talkes to me. He blames everything on my mom. Little did he know my undying hate for him.

One day they were fighting and I went there. My father said, 'You are not my kid' to me. That was when I decided I will never stop my hate for him.

They finally got divorced. We suffered from financial problems. My four siblings and I were living with mom.

Then When I went to school, I was discriminated, betrayed by kids who I thought were my bestfriends, teachers ignored me. It did hurt my little heart. I cry on little things. My cousins teased me cause my father wasn't there like their's. Hit me with stones, bullied me. Hurt me.

When I was about age of 10, I changed. Completely changed. I hate make up, I hate dresses, I wore t-shirts and jeans. I stopped crying.

I was this good innocent girl to mom but to others I wasn't. Every morning I played football. I climbed trees. I fought with some street kids who wanted to harm my brothers. But even when all those happened I was awesome in studies. I was one of the best thirty students on my primary now in secondry too.

I attend school, I went two quruan class, I went to tution, I helped mom with household chores. I was the tomboy. I was best football player among my cousins. I even defeated elder cousins. When I stopped crying and fighting back and showing attitude, then everyone stopped what they did to me.
I watched wrestline, cartoons, films.

I also learnt a new trick. With a smile hides my fear and pain to others.

I was only 12, when I saw this boy with dark brown eyes. I never believed in love at first sight still don't. But it was what happened. New emotions, I don't undestand what. It was like a magnet, that's all I know. I knew when he was around always. I felt it. Wired I know.

That was year when I got my first bestfriend, and real friend. We had to tell each other something and I insisted her to tell first. She likes the same guy I loves.

I never had a boyfriend, not even a crush. I didn't want to hurt her so I hide it. Later after months we found out he got a girlfriend. My bestfriend's heart broke. She said heart broke I don't know what love is even how will I know of a heartbreak then?

Again, I started to change. I started to smile more, make people laugh more. My cloths choice changed. Not to girly dresses but jeans and tops. I love t-shirts I couldn't let go of them either.

A year passed, feeling didn't went. I saw him I was attracted to him like a magnet. I was 13, he was 14, he went to study his secondry at other school, so that year I saw him twice but that feeling didn't go.

I learned about many things, I knew it wasn't a normal feeling. I got to know it's love when one night I woke up in middle of the night sweating badly and tears running down my cheeks. I saw him die, on my arms. He have an effect on me like no other. That idiot isn't aware of any of this.

Third year I went same school as him. I was struggling to get rid of the emotions. The more I love the feeling the more pain it gives.

I took one boyfriend, broke up. Met a player, accept the challange. We texted flirted a lot. Little did I know he had 6 other girlfriend's other than me. One of a cousin who was his friend told me.

One of his bitchy gf's got to know about me with her he made a plan. Recorded when I flirt with him and they used it against me. Such a shame my someother cousin was involved too. They gave threats to tell my mom. I was immature still am. I was 14 only.

My friends were with me all time. I love them for that. What hapened to me is that I trust easily and I repeat a mistake twice. I find fun in that.

About my first love, I tried to forget him in every possible way, it's how I started to write and read. I never read a book more than 10 pages. I never wrote an essay or a story. But that's what I love now.

But after three years I embraced it and accepted the feeling and let it go. It wasn't this easy believe me.

Last year april one, he was with his bestfriend, trying to fool kids at school. I didn't knew he was there. I was walking backwards facing my clubmates singing "hakuna matata, it means no worries".

He tried to fool me and I wasn't interested. He was a player, a badass, and a devil. My heart don't judge that's why I was trapped in love.

I always wanted to confess my feelings to him, I told him that day. Truth on his face. His friends teased me. He never cared. My player ex-bf's bitch's friend's spread rumors. I didn't care.

I started to hate love. I belive it sucks. It don't exist. One side love does only. I am immature girl who laughs a lot. Who sometimes cry due to over laughing. When teachers ask me questions, I would remember some funny incideny and laugh. I was never thrown out of the class cause of my good grades. Evil me.

Then last year, there was this road side guy who followed me home. He say he love me. Meh.as if. And followed some other guys too. Ugh. I hate them. No one was good. Everyone thought I was a slut. Maybe I am. I don't know.

I am a monster when I am angry. I don't literally turn to hulk or something but I am a bitch when I am angry. I am learning to control it now. Hopefully suceeding.

There was this guy who I never noticed or cared at school when I see him. Not that he wasn't handsome or anything. I just like to stay away from illness called love.

I am very positive but I am mother of negetiveness when it comes to love. It's not cause of my experience, I have seen my friends, and cousins who suffered and suffer cause of love. And by love I mean in romantic way.

This guy smiled always and I smile to everyone, even my to my haters.

My family was invited to a wedding party and I honestly didn't want to go. But I am a girl and mom won't let me stay at home alone. So I just went.

I hate to wait. Patience is not my favourite thing, I had to wait in a big line to get food. Ugh I wish on that moment I never went. This guy who I see at school, I saw him. I started to flirt with him as it's in my nature. I talked nonsense. Little did I know he was someone who loves me.

That's it. No more. Iam studying on tenth grade now. Currently single and happy with my life. I don't know why I told you guys this, but I did.

So I want to say, keep smiling, keep making people smile, after night comes day. If you are suffering now, fight back for your rights, don't let people stop you from doing good but stop doing bad.

Live your life to fullest everyday. Keep laughing till you forget the reason you are laughing. Be healthy, because without health no wealth and future.

Don't bully, maybe you'll have to go ask from that same kid on future. Don't judge by appearence and rumors. Cause the person who spread rumors can be worse than the person being talked about.

Listen to your heart, don't walk in a path you'll get pain in the end. Keep environment clean and safe, it's our future generation's future. Don't find a reason to smile, a reason may be taken from you. If you still want a reason let that reason be yourself and satisfaction of making other person happy.

Don't be selfish but don't be so generous, people can use you.

If you are scared of anything, it's okay to be scared. Maybe you don't know but fear can do many things.

Spread love and happiness, you'll get the same gift in return someday. It may not be now but surely someday.

Think before you say even a little thing to love one, cause that little thing can be a very big thing to others.

I am really an idiot, I believe it, I am agaim repeating a mistake I did cause I believe outcome won't be same always.

And yeah.. I am troublemaker315, if you are curious to know who wrote above things.

Thats it I guess . Love you everyone, haters included ;).