The next morning, Brendon was seated between my legs with a rubik's cube in his hands. Where he found the puzzle game was beyond me. Maybe one of the nurses gave it to him when I fell asleep.

He was leaning back against me. His face was scrunched in concentration. He managed to block out everything but my touch. I realized that when I tried to move into a different position and he dropped the cube, gripped my leg, and looked up at me with his face full of fear. After reassuring him I wasn't leaving, he calmed and picked the cube back up.

He never liked being left alone after a breakdown. We'd been in that position all morning. I watched him as he twisted each row and column. He'd smile up at me when he got one face of the cube to be one color. That's all he managed to do with the cube though.

A soft knock on the door caused me to look up. Ryan peeked his head into the room. When his eyes locked with mine, I saw his widen in fear.

"Oh.. s-sorry. I just.. I'll go," he let out quickly. Before he could rush out, I called after him.

"Ryan, you can come in. It's okay." He slowly made his way to the bed, not sure if it was okay for him to sit. His body was stiff as he stood. "Relax. I'm not gonna snap at you again, I promise." He nodded, but still hesitated before sitting down.

Brendon was still so consumed with the puzzle in his hands he hadn't noticed Ryan. I could see Ryan holding back a frown when he took in Brendon's and my position. I let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry, Ryan. I didn't mean to lash out at you and keep you away from Brendon. It's just," I ran my hand through my hair and let out another sigh. "It's just that Brendon hasn't let a lot of people see this part of him. He wants to keep his happy image, so when I saw how close you two were getting, I guess I was a little jealous." Ryan kept his mouth closed and didn't interrupt. I wasn't sure if it was out of fear or respect.

"At the wedding, when I saw you didn't know what was happening, I realized that he still hasn't let you see that part of himself yet. I was a happy that that was still something that he only shared with me." Ryan tilted his head to the side in confusion.

"Jealous?" I nodded. "Of me?" When I nodded again, he let out a small laugh. "I'm the one who should be jealous."

"You shouldn't be. Brendon spends a lot of his out of session time with you. Trust me, he really likes you." Ryan dropped his head, but I could see his cheeks starting to turn red.

"I really like him too. Sometimes it feels like he feels the same way, but then it doesn't and.." Ryan let out a sigh and began picking at a loose thread on his pants. "I know I sound like a teenage girl, but I'm just confused about him. I thought he liked you because of how much he talks about you and," he gestured to our position.

I looked down at Brendon still oblivious of the conversation going on. I turned back to Ryan with a small smile.

"He's like my baby brother. Believe me, he does not feel that way about me. What you think he might feel for me, he feels that toward you."

"What about last night?" I let out a small laugh and shook my head.

"He's just very comfortable with me. I've been with him the whole time he's been here." He nodded in understanding. "He wants to get this close to you too, we're just cautious. Before me, he didn't really have someone to care much for him and the only one that did, he... he died."

Ryan's jaw dropped in surprise. I could see his face sadden when his eyes moved down to an innocent looking Brendon. I remember giving the same reaction when I first heard Brendon's story.

"He never told me that." Ryan's voice was small.

"It's not something he likes to share."

"I understand. I just wish he didn't feel like would need to keep that from me." I moved my hand through Brendon's hair, brushing it back.

"He's trying." Ryan nodded in understanding. I leaned down close to Brendon's ear. "Bren," I whispered gently. He hummed in response, still twisting the cube rows. "Ryan's here to see you."

Brendon's head snapped up and looked over at Ryan. A smile tugged at his lips, but the memory of what he did last night must've came back because the semi-smile slipped. He dripped his head, ashamed of it and pushed himself more against me.

"Hey," I said softly. His brown, doe eyes looked up at me. He looked so vulnerable and I knew what my next words were going to do for him. "It's okay. Ryan's okay." His eyes went to Ryan them back to mine.

I gave him an encouraging smile and small nudge. He seemed reluctant at first before moving away from me for the first time in over twelve hours. He wrapped his arms around Ryan's neck and was pulled in tightly by the taller boy.

My heart warmed at the smile on both their faces. Brendon pulled away first, but only to resituate himself on Ryan's lap. He grabbed the rubik's cube and continued failing to solve the puzzle.

Ryan kept an arm securely wrapped around Brendon's waist. I smiled at how content Brendon was in Ryan's arms. Ryan looked up at me with a wide smile. He mouthed a silent 'thank you' which I returned with a nod.

I slowly moved to get out of the bed. I noticed Brendon tense as he looked up at me. Ryan didn't hold Brendon back as he began moving forward toward me. I put a hand on his shoulder and shook my head.

"It's okay, Bren. Ryan's gonna stay with you." I looked over at the older of the two who nodded in agreement. "You'll be alright." I leaned in and kissed the top of his head. "I'll see you later."

He let out a small 'okay' and got comfortable against Ryan as I left the room. As much as I wanted to stay by his side, I knew it was time for him to develop trust with another person and Ryan was the perfect person for that.

I knew Brendon was willing to let Ryan in, but Frank was right. He was only waiting for my consent. Maybe that's what I needed too, for someone tell me it's okay to trust someone else. 

That's not a good idea.

I ignored the voice and found going down a hallway, moving to a stairwell.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

As I made it to the next floor, I followed different signs leading down unfamiliar hallways until I made it to one door. I read and reread the name trying to even my now rapid breathing.

Turn back now and run.

"No," I whispered to myself. "No more running." As determined as I was, my knock was still hesitant against the wood.

"Come in." With shaky breath, I turned the handle and pushed open the door. "Gerard? I wasn't expecting you up here." Frank's voice was enough to show his evident shock. I let out a nervous laugh.

"Honestly, I wasn't expecting it either, but I just think..." I looked at my feet and took a deep breath before looking back up at him. "I think I'm ready." His eyebrows shot up. He really wasn't expecting that.

"Oh! Okay. Um.. Okay." I let my eyes close and nodded. I'm ready for all this to be over. I'm ready to get better.

---

A/N:

So, two updates in one night! Got one more chapter before the story's finished. I'm gonna try to get it uploaded by the end of this weekend, so hope I don't get swamped with other stuff. Anyways, thanks for reading. Love ya!