I was on Brendon's bed with the sleeping boy pressed against my chest with my arms wrapped around him. After the incident, a couple nurses took Brendon and me back to the hospital. They tried to separate us, but when Brendon wouldn't stop screaming for me, they realized it was for the best to just let me be with him.

It must've been a few hours that I'd been watching Brendon sleep before someone came to the room. When I looked up, I saw Ryan standing at the door still dressed from the wedding. His hair was tousled most likely from him running his hand through it all night. He must've been worried since they didn't let him come back to the hospital with us.

I sent him a glare as he walked closer to the bed. When he caught my eyes, he immediately stopped. He looked down at his feet and started fidgeting with hands. After a moment, he looked up, eyebrows creased and bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

"Can I.." he trailed off and nodded to Brendon. My arms tightened around the sleeping boy.

"No." I kept my voice low so I wouldn't disturb Brendon. That didn't stop Ryan from flinching at the sharpness of the word. He nodded and let out a quiet 'okay'. He stood watching Brendon from a distance until my glare became too much for him.

"Goodnight, Bren," he whispered before heading out of the room. I kept my eye on the door until I felt Brendon stirring in his sleep. When I looked down, I saw his face contorted with pain. I ran my hand through his hair and softly hummed to calm him down.

I kept humming to him even as he settled back into a peaceful sleep. I felt my eyelids begin to fall from exhaustion. I kept shaking my head to try and push away the sleep, so I could keep watching Brendon.

"You should probably get some rest, Gee." I looked up to see Frank standing in the doorway. He was still dressed from the wedding only without his jacket and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing tattoos I haven't seen.

"What do you want?" I hissed, my sleep immediately leaving me. I watched him as he grabbed a chair and sat next to the bed.

"Let me explain." I didn't say anything, torn between not really wanting him to give me an excuse and not wanting my mind to come up with it's own explanation. He let out a sight before speaking. "I was just doing my job."

I let out a scoff before he could continue. If I wasn't there for Brendon, I would've ran out of the room and stayed far away from Frank.

"Please, let me finish." I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from saying anything I might regret. "You weren't talking to anyone about why you were here, so it was decided that I should come down and see if I could do anything to help."

He's been playing you the whole time.

"You've been here over a year Gerard and haven't shown much improvement. They wanted to move you up a level, but I convinced them to give me some time with you first. That's why they were so lenient about you not following your program lately."

I told you we can't trust him.

"So what was this? Was all of this just a job to you? Everything we did together?"

"No!" He let out quickly. "God, no."

Lies.

"At first maybe, but after spending all that time with you, I knew you didn't belong on the floor I work on." I squeezed my eyes shut willing all of this to go away. I told so much to Frank. To a doctor for fuck's sake! "My job is to get my patients to move down floors and to keep others from moving up to mine."

Seeing how many people have moved down from higher floors, Ryan included, I'm sure Frank is really good at his job. That thought didn't help ease my mind though. I looked up at him. I took in his piercings, hair and tattoos in the light from the standard of his position.

"Little inappropriate look for a doctor, don't you think?" He let out a small chuckle and dropped his head. His hand went up to comb through his hair.

"As long as I get my job done, people don't seem to care. It actually helps me connect better with some of my patients." I nodded and looked back down to Brendon.

My mind was going off trying to decide if I wanted to accept his explanation. One question burned at my throat. I knew it would determine how this situation would end. I took a deep breath and kept my eyes on Brendon.

"How much of it was you doing your job?" There was a pause before he spoke.

"At first it was helping you into the art room and making sure the nurses weren't on you too much." I nodded. That seemed fair. That was all when we started getting to know each other or well him getting to know me.

"The garden?"

"In the beginning, yeah," he answered softly. I tried to ignore the pang in my chest and swallowed the lump in my throat. I shut my eyes tightly and took a calming breath. I didn't want to think about how safe I felt on that bench with Frank beside me. I didn't want to think about how those memories were now tainted.

I could feel anger begin to bubble in my stomach. My jaw clenched as I took another deep breath. I felt the familiar feeling starting to pull me in again. The sound of a small whimper pulled me out and my eyes darted to Brendon.

I didn't notice how tense my body had gotten. When I relaxed, Brendon nestled more against me. I let the sound of his even breathing calm me. I couldn't risk blacking out, not when I needed to be there with Brendon. Frank must've noticed too.

"He really does keep you grounded." I nodded.

"I told you, I need to be there to protect him and after today, you can see why."

"How did you know what to do to calm him down?"

"He has little triggers. His program helped get rid of most of them, but he wasn't exposed to everything to give him the chance to get over the trauma."

"So the fireworks set him off." I nodded.

"The loud noise sent him back to that night."

"How did you know to sing that song?"

"Heard him singing it during one of his breakdowns. He didn't even realize he was singing it at first. Found out his mom used to sing it to him when he was really young before anything was bad." I combed his hair through my fingers. I loved how untroubled he looked in his sleep.

"Ryan's upset you wouldn't let him near Brendon."

"He couldn't help Brendon," I replied through gritted teeth. I knew it wasn't his fault, but he was the only one there when Brendon's breakdown started.

"Only you can calm Brendon?" I nodded because it's true.

"That can't be true. The nurses.."

"Don't know what we're going through, so can't always help us properly," I finished. "We develop bonds with each other that is deeper than a degree."

"If that's true, why won't you give Ryan the chance to create that bond." I looked up and glared at Frank.

"Look, I've given Brendon space to be with Ryan all he pleases. Brendon cares about Ryan on a different level than he does for me and I respect that. Sometimes, they're attached at the hip, so don't tell me I'm not giving him a chance because I have. It just happens that I'm the only one who knows how to handle Brendon's breakdowns best."

I looked down at Brendon, thinking back to how scared he was when he first came to the hospital. He was so vulnerable and easy for anyone to take advantage of. I kissed the top of his head. I made sure that the little boy was safe.

"Ryan has only been there through one breakdown. I've been there through all of them. How can I trust someone new to watch over Brendon when they don't know what they're doing? You can expect me to just give up that responsibility because Brendon's falling in love with some boy."

"Gerard, that," he let out a sigh. "That's not what I was trying to say. Just instead of pushing everyone away from Brendon, show them what to do because I'm certain Ryan wants to be there to help him. He just needs to be shown how."

"What if he decides he doesn't want to be there later? I can't risk Brendon getting hurt like that." Frank smirked.

"We both know that won't happen. Ryan cares a lot about this boy. He wants to be there, so let him." I looked down at Brendon's sleeping figure pressed against me, his fist clenched to the front of my shirt. "And we both know Brendon won't let anyone that close to him unless you give that consent."

I knew Frank was right, but it's hard to give that trust to another person. I pictured Brendon's wide smile whenever he was around Ryan. He's always so happy with the older boy. He would be laughing and look so carefree. I could tell Ryan was helping Brendon get better. I just didn't really want to see how Brendon didn't need me as much as he used to. With a sigh, I nodded.

"Okay."