-when someone gives you criticism, you immediately turn the tables by pulling the "WELL I GUESS IM JUST A HORRIBLE PERSON AND YOU HATE ME CARD" and make yourself the victim and shame the person giving you criticism

i understand where this is coming from but...it's not right, and i know that now. that's not how you deal with any kind of criticism towards you. its manipulating the person into feeling bad for you and stepping back on their words.

watch out for these people in your relationships. a lot of ppl warn about the big bad "obvious" abuser who hits you or threatens you...but been especially vigilant for the not-so-obvious type who uses underhanded methods to keep you under their control. if someone always makes themself out to be the victim, even when its their fault, twists your words, emotionally blackmails you, gaslights you...that's not good. dont put up with it.