Okay so I wrote chapter one of the book ima publish. I've changed it around a little bit and I'm not gonna share any more of it, but here's chapter one. Please let me know what you think and whether it'd be worth me continuing (the overall story would be the same, just some detail changes)

Remington is Kyan, Andy is Damien, Emerson is Danny, Sebastian is Dylon, Shy is Rose, and Larisa is Chrissy.

Enjoy :)

It’s funny how detached from their own life one can feel.

Kyan lies on his back staring up at the white ceiling, hand rubbing the bruise on his hip even though it hurts to touch. She was so nice to him at the beginning. He thought she really loved him. It turns out it was all one big, sick game to her. Everything was like a game, and every time, he lost.

The first time they met was almost magical. He thought he’d found the best girl he’d ever seen. God, how wrong he was proved to be.

Him and his brothers were at a bar downtown, celebrating the release of their first album. “Who wants to do shots?” Dylon, the eldest of the three of them, had shouted, cutting through the loud, chaotic buzz of the bar. The atmosphere was electric.

Kyan was leaning against the bar with a glass of vodka in hand. “Fuck, yes! Let’s do shots!”
The youngest brother nodded enthusiastically, finishing off his second drink of the evening, and is given a small glass of strong alcohol. “To Moonchild!” Danny cheered.

“To moonchild,” the older two repeated, and the three of them tipped their heads back, downing the shots and slamming the glasses down.

“I fucking love you guys,” Dylon announced, “you’re idiots, but hey, so am I!”

The barman poured them another round. “I’ll cheers to that,” Kyan said as they grabbed the next shots. “To us!”

“An our stupid fuckin’ band!” Danny chimed in.

Kyan had downed one more shot with his brothers before moving away from the bar, drink in hand, shirt purposefully too short, exposing his hips, his v-line, and acrylic red trousers low, waiting to be torn off by some young, gorgeous woman. That was his plan.

There was a group of girls, none over 25, all sitting around a small table, drinks cluttering it up. One of them had looked up, saw him, and smiled. Kyan smiled right back, oblivious to what he was getting himself into. Sometimes it’s the most beautiful people who posses the ugliest souls. She gestured for him to come closer and he did, walking so gracefully towards the small table that she almost mistook him for an angel.

“Aren’t you some piece of art?” The girl said, “I saw you by the bar. I’d hoped I’d get to talk to you.”
The singer finished his drink, playing with the glass in his hands, metal rings clinking against it. “Looks like it’s your lucky day,” he responded, holding out his hand.

She raised an eyebrow then, and shook his hand. “Quite the gentleman, I see.”

“You know it. I’m Kyan, and you are?”

“Holly. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Kyan. I have a feeling this won’t be the last I see of you.”
Kyan hummed, glancing behind him at his brothers who are still at the bar. “I sure hope you’re right. Who are your friends?”

Holly pointed to each of them, introducing the singer. He was hardly paying attention to their names, far too entranced by the woman before him. He was sure he had never seen such beauty before. Perhaps the most deceiving beauty he has ever seen.

Someone draped their arms over Kyan from behind, and he recognised the rings on the fingers as Danny. “This is Holly,” the older introduced, “Holly, this is Danny, my baby brother.”

“Nice to meet you,” the girl said, and smiled.

Danny leaned against the back of the chair. “I’m not a baby,” he protests, “he’s more babyish that I am!”

Holly laughed, and Kyan stole the drink from his brother’s hand. “I am incapable of being an actual adult,” he said, grinning at Danny who snatched the drink back.

“He spends all his time complaining about me and our big brother. That’s literally all he does.”

“Well,” Holly began, “siblings are a pain in the ass.”

Kyan nodded. “She gets it!”

“Right, well I’m gonna leave you to it, and probably drag Dylon home after he throws up into a gutter two blocks away. Have fun.” The guitarist poked Kyan’s shoulder and turned to go.

“There’d getting drunk, and then there’s Dylon!” Kyan calls after his brother. Neither of them enjoy dragging their big brother home early in the morning. “Seriously, you do not wanna see Dylon after a night out. It’s fucking scary.” He was looking at Holly again. “I’m still having nightmares after last time.” He stood up. “I’m getting another dink,” he informed her, and headed for the bar. After getting a drink, Kyan checked his phone, seeing nothing important, just comments on his Instagram posts and some things he’s been tagged in, and shoved the phone back into his tight pocket. Kyan returned to Holly, now sitting on her own.

“I’m not a loner, I swear,” she insisted, watching him sit down. “So your brother isn’t wasted yet?”

Kyan laughed. “No, not yet. He will be. I’m letting Dan deal with that. I am way too happy to deal with that idiot tonight.” He sipped his drink and looked at her with his hopelessly gorgeous eyes. “Let’s not talk about my brothers, though.”

“You know, I wish I was as close with my brother as you are with yours.” She was observing his tattoos then. “You are ridiculously attractive.”

With a gentle smirk, Kyan put his drink down. “Well, I could say the same about you,” he responded, bringing a hand up and letting it drift across her exposed collar bones. “What colour are your eyes? Green? Blue?”

Holly just hummed, tracing over a tattoo on his hip. “You tell me,” she murmured, faces inches apart. “Yours are green, and absolutely beautiful.”

“I’m gonna say green,” the young man concluded, “maybe turquoise.”
“Shut up and kiss me.”

That wasn’t the last time she told him to shut up. God, it got so bad. How did it get so bad?

Three days ago he woke up on the couch, sore, dry tears sticky on his face, phone smashed in the fireplace, and for the first time, he left without telling her. He took himself to the police station and showed them the bruises and the broken phone and told them who did it to him. They interrogated Holly and she was found guilty. She was arrested for three months and made to talk to someone about anger management. That thought makes Kyan smile. She always denied having anger issues. He never has to see her again.

If only it was really that simple.

The familiar sound of My Chemical Romance’s Teenagers knocks Kyan out of his daze, and he checks to see who’s calling him. The first thing he did when he got a new phone yesterday was set that song as his ringtone.

It’s Damien Pilkins, a rock singer who Moonchild toured with two years ago. The two talk sometimes.

“Hey,” Kyan answers.

“Hey Kye. How are you?”

It’s nice for the young singer that Damien calls him just to check in. Even though they aren’t particularly close friends, they care about each other, and they’d want to know if something was ever wrong. “I’ve been better, honestly. You?”

“Oh, what’s up? Do you wanna talk?” He sounds genuinely concerned and it makes Kyan smile.

“No, it’s okay. I’ve just got out of a pretty shitty relationship is all. I don’t wanna think about it.”

“I heard you’re starting a world tour soon? Four months?”

Kyan hums. “Yep. Our first headlining tour outside of Europe. I can’t wait!” It’s funny how his mood is lifted when he thinks of the upcoming tour. Being on stage makes him so unbelievably happy. It’s such a shame that Holly had to make him feel bad for loving his career.

“I got tickets for the show in New York. Your shows are the best I’ve ever seen.”

“Wait, why in New York when you aren’t even in America?”

“Oh, well I’ve been wanting to go for a while and I figured that seeing you there at the same time would make it really special, you know?”

The boy just smiles. “I’m gonna get you on stage,” he announces, “you can sing with me.”

Damien laughs. “I’d love that.”
“So how are you? What’ve you been up to? I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

“Oh, well we finally found a new guitarist for Haven Red since Diana left. The whole thing has been a mess. She quit because she didn’t like this one guitar riff, and then kept begging to come back. Anyway, we finally found someone else.”

Kyan finds himself momentarily forgetting about Holly as he listens to Damien talk. He nearly forgets to respond. “Sounds like a nightmare,” is what he says, “I’m glad you found someone else.”

“Me too. How’re your brothers?”

“They’re good. I haven’t seen much of Dylon lately. I think he’s gone away with Chrissy. I don’t know. I’ve been staying with Danny for the past few days, ever since I-” he stops himself. Saying it out loud hurts. He wonders if it will every not hurt.

“Since you what?”

Kyan sighs. “Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”

Damien wonders why he closes up like this, but decides not to ask. “Danny’s the youngest, right?”

“Yep.”

“I should know that.”

“Not even I know that sometimes. Don’t worry about it. There are bigger things in life to worry about.”

In the evening, Kyan, Danny and Rose have dinner together, and the conversation of Damien comes up, mostly because Kyan mentions talking him earlier on the phone. It’s not exactly a secret that he has at least a little crush on the rock star.

At first that was weird for Danny. His brother has always been firmly into women, and then he starts basically drooling over pictures of a man. Perhaps Kyan is not as straight as he originally thought.

“How come you guys only ever talk over the phone?” Danny asks, and Kyan shrugs, though it is a good question. Danny and Rose look at each other, giving one another that look that somehow has the same effect as a whole conversation.

“I don’t know. Why does it matter?”

“Are you friends or just phone buddies?”

Kyan raises an eyebrow. “Phone buddies? What the hell is that?”
 
“You know what I mean. People who only talk on the phone. Like you’re afraid of meeting in person in case you suddenly hate each other.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Danny rolls his eyes. “Says you,” he retorts. “So do you fancy him?”

The singer chokes on his food. “Sorry?”

“Oh come on! I’ve seen how you look at photos of him, Kye. It’s obvious.”

“Yeah, well I’m straight, so...”
“Really?”

Kyan frowns. “Yes?”

“You sure about that?”

“What is this, an interrogation?”
“Maybe. So are you gay?”

Rose snickers. “That’s not even a question at this point, Dan.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Kyan asks, defensive. He’s never thought about the possibility of him not being straight. “Of course I’m straight!”

With a sceptical nod, Danny pokes his brother’s arm. “Sure you are, buddy.”

“Shut up, loser.”

Kyan lies in bed thinking about the conversation they had over dinner. He didn’t like how it felt when he said he was straight, and that confuses him, because he is straight. He is!

Soon it’s two am and he still can’t stop thinking about it, and so he decides to call Damien, since the man came out publicly over a year ago. He must be able to help Kyan figure out whatever the fuck it is that’s going on with him.

“Hey,” Damien greets, “why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I can’t. I need to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

“Well,” Kyan begins, “how did you know you were gay?”

Damien chuckles. “How did I know I was gay?

“Yeah.”

“Oh, well I guess I just kinda realised. I don’t know how to explain it. Why?"

“I just-Dan got me thinking about it. Like-I don’t know if I’m actually...straight. It doesn’t feel right when I say I’m straight. I don’t really know why, it just feels off.” He frowns. “Does that mean I’m not straight?”

The man on the other end hums. “Most likely. What feels right when you say it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay, so if I say ‘you’re bi’, how does that feel?”

Kyan sighs. “Still kinda wrong. What the hell is wrong with me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you. How about ‘you’re gay.’ How does that feel?”

The boy sits up, like he’s hit a realisation. “It feels right.”

“Well there you go. You’re gay.”

“I’m gay,” Kyan repeats.

“You’re gay. Now go to sleep.”

On waking up, Kyan bolts out of bed and straight to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before puking. He groans and falls back against the wall, squinting when the light turns on.

Danny is stood in the door way, a concerned look on his face. "You okay?" He asks, approaching his brother.

The green-eyed man shakes his head. "I feel like shit," he mumbles, and then heaves into the toilet again. "What's the time?"

"Around six. You don't look well," the younger man observes, feeling bad for his brother.

Kyan wipes his mouth with a tissue and flushes the toilet. "Great," he says, sarcasm thick in his voice. "I'm fucking sick."

Danny helps Kyan back to bed and gets him a bucket in case he's sick again.

The pale boy just nods, coughing and wiping his eyes. "Thanks Dan," he whispers, smiling lightly.

For a while Kyan just lies in the bed, his head hurting and his stomach churning uncomfortably. He has to grab the bin by the side of the bed when he feels a sudden wave of nausea hit him.

After putting the bin back down on the floor, he drinks some of the water, and then lies back down. "Fuck," he mutters to himself, not very happy with how today is going. Who likes being sick?

Soon enough, it's midday, and Danny comes to check on Kyan, who is sat up in the bed. "How are you feeling?"

The older brother groans. "Crap," he answers bitterly.

The younger man sighs, wanting to cheer his brother up somehow.

Another few hours go by and then there's a knock on Kyan's door, but he's sleeping so he doesn't hear. The door is pushed open, and the black haired, blue eyed man comes in and sits down by the bed. He plays on his phone for a while, until the boy in the bed moves and opens his eyes wearily. He seems shocked to see Damien there by the bed, but smiles.

Damien smiles back, putting his phone down. "Hey," he says gently. "Danny called me and said you were sick, so...”

“The first time you see me in like a year and I’m throwing up,” Kyan jokes.

"I don’t mind. It’s nice to see you. You know your brother thinks we’re ‘phone buddies’?”

The singer rolls his eyes. “Phone fucking buddies. He’s a fucking idiot, I swear.”

Damien laughs. “What even are phone buddies?”

“I honestly have no idea. He made it up, no doubt.”

“How come you’re staying with Danny? I thought you had your own place?”

Kyan cringes at the question. “Yeah, I do, but...” he trails off and shrugs. “It’s complicated.”

“Is it to do with that relationship you got out of?” The older asks.

“She was kinda...abusive, I guess. I don’t like saying that word. It makes it seem scary, which it is, but I’d rather just forget about it all, you know?” He looks down. “I just wonder what I did to deserve any of it.”

“No one deserves to be abused.”

Kyan smiles, almost sarcastically. “Well obviously I do.”