Trigger warning.

It's gone six pm, and Remington is sitting on the stairs watching Andy put his shoes and jacket on. His husband is about to leave for months and he doesn't know how to handle that. The last thing he needs is for Andy to go. He's being picked up by Jake, since he passes by on the way to the airport. The boy looks at the suitcase and the bags by the door and sighs. He remembers when he was touring and it makes him sad. He doesn't know what hurts more; Andy leaving to go on tour or the fact that Remington isn't able to tour. Both.

"You said Sebastian's coming, yeah?" Andy checks, on edge about his boy's safety. Without him, who knows what he could get himself into.

Remington nods. "Said he'll be here by eight. Promise I'll call you if things get bad," he says quietly, and he means it.

"And you're going to keep talking to Abigail, yeah? Sebastian will make sure you get there?"

Remington knows this is scary for Andy, too. The man cares so deeply for him and to just be leaving like this, specially with everything that is going on, is terrifying. "Yeah. I'll be okay. Sebastian is good at looking after me." He moves to the side when Andy sits next to him, and leans his head on his shoulder. "Andy?"

"Yeah?"

The boy sighs again. He looks down at his bony hands. "I'm scared." The hand that holds his soothes him.

"You're going to be okay," Andy whispers into his hair, and kisses the top of his head. "You call me whenever you need to and I promise I'll do my best to answer. If it's bad and you're desperate to talk to me just keep calling until I pick up, okay? I'll keep my phone close."

It is so comforting to know that Andy is wiling to do anything he can to protect Remington. "Even when you're on stage?" He shuffles closer to Andy.

The man rubs his palm. "I'll make sure someone has my phone and if you really need me they'll somehow let me know. Don't worry about it, sweetheart, just know that you can call and I'll be there, okay? And you'll be with Sebastian. That will make you feel better, won't it?"

Remington closes his hand around Andy's fingers. "Yes, but he's not-he's not you." A car pulls up outside. The lovers stand up, and Remington grips Andy in a tight hug. "I love you," he mumbles, "please don't break your ribs."

"I'll try my best. I love you, princess, stay safe for me, okay? I'll text you when we're on the plane. See you later."

Remington sniffles. "Okay. Have fun. I love you."

They separate the hug and Andy kisses Remington before he picks his things up, opens the door, and steps out. Remington watches him put his bags into the boot and get in the car, waving from the doorway until he can't see the car anymore.

He closes the door and sits in the living room with a pillow hugged against his chest, just trying to reassure himself that he's going to be alright. He knows that once Sebastian is here and he isn't alone that he'll feel a bit better. But now he just feels so alone.

The food they had before Andy left is sitting in his stomach and he doesn't want it to be there anymore, but he knows he can't do what he so badly wants to. It's so hard to resist it without having Andy here to distract him, and he's in tears as he kneels in front of the toilet and sticks his fingers down his throat. It's such a familiar feeling and he finds it strangely comforting to be gagging and coughing until there's nothing left inside.

The hour and a half on his own feels like an eternity, and he breathes out a sigh of relief when there's a knock on the door and he open's it to his big brother, bag in hand, sympathetic expression on his face. "Hey," he greets, gentle, "you okay?"

Remington steps aside to let him in, closing the door and shaking his head. "Not really," he responds, following Sebastian into the living room and sitting next to him on the sofa. "Made myself sick," he admits. He needs him to know.

"Today?" He gets a nod, and offers a hug.

Remington accepts, grateful for his brother. "When Andy's here it's easier to ignore, but without him it feels-it feels impossible."

Sebastian rubs his back. He hates how skinny he feels. It reminds him of when he collapsed outside a venue and was rushed to hospital. He looks like he did then, and it's scary. "I'm not going to make you eat, pumpkin, but it'd make me feel better if you had something." He knows he has to be gentle. He called Abigail this morning, asking her how to handle Remington's disorder, and she told him to be gentle and reassuring and to give him things to do that take his mind off food.

"Something small," the younger mumbles, "I'll have something small, Sebby."

Later, after Remington has eaten, he gets a message from Andy, saying that he's on the plane, and that somehow makes him feel worse. Because now he knows that Andy is soon going to be half a world away, in a different country without him.

The brothers go to bed in separate rooms, but Remington just lies awake, unnerved by not having Andy's warmth encasing him. He slips into the room Sebastian is in and gets in bed beside him, cuddling up to him and closing his eyes. "Can't sleep?" Sebastian whispers, wrapping the boy in his arms.

"Feels wrong on my own," Remington whispers back, "'s better with you." He goes quiet, and finally falls asleep now that he's not on his own. Sebastian strokes his hair and thinks about how the next months are going to go. He wouldn't be so worried about Remington if it wasn't for the new diagnosis, and also the fact that he knows damn well how much Remington needs people around him or he falls into awful awful depression. He's just glad that Remington asked him to stay.

At least he's not on his own.