Trigger warning.
And please don't forget that you can message me anytime!

User 1: Can someone help me? I'm new to this band and can't find Remington anywhere on Instagram. What's his account called??

User 2: @user1 He deleted his Insta and Twitter accounts two weeks ago. We don't know when he'll be back.

User 1: @user2 oh, thanks. Why'd he delete them??

User 2: @user1 They had to cancel a tour bcos he collapsed and said it was bcos he hadn't been eating. It's a long story. Dm me if you like. I'll update you on it. :)

User 1: @user2 Thankyou!!

Remington is most unsettled when he has a nightmare, and a horrible one at that, more than two weeks after deleting his social media accounts. It's been ages since he had a nightmare. And it's awful.

Holly is there, obviously, with her evil fucking smirk and her horrible shiny acrylic nails that dig into his skin anywhere she can reach. He's in the shower and she's pinning him to the wall, hand so tight around his throat that he's struggling to stay conscious. "Remington is so selfish," she says, "I bet he wasn't even abused." The boy realises she's reading out comments. Strange. "If anything, he'd be the one to abuse Holly." She laughs at that. It makes Remington's stomach churn. "Remington doesn't care about anyone except for himself. He doesn't deserve the fans he has." He doesn't remember ever seeing that comment. "Remington should kill himself."

No one has ever said that to him before.

"Remington is ugly. Remington can't sing. Remington isn't talented. Remington needs a reality check. Remington is only popular because of his muscles. Remington is so stupid. Remington is only the eye-candy for the band. Remington can't use makeup. Remington is lying about being abused. Remington can't write lyrics. Remington should kill himself. Remington should kill himself. Remington should kill himself. Remington should kill himself."

The boy bolts up in tears. She wasn't reading comments, she was reading his thoughts. He looks at his wrists. They're finally healing. His chest hurts. Everything hurts. What the hell just happened?

He shakes Andy awake. "You need to talk to me," he begs, panicked. "You need to talk to me or I'm going to kill myself." It's blunt; what he says, but what's the point in sugar coating it?

Andy is made wide awake at the words of his lover. He does his best to stay calm. "What's wrong? Have you had a nightmare?" Remington nods. He's sitting so stiffly. "Come snuggle, princess, tell me about it." Gladly obliging, Remington curls into Andy, but still doesn't say anything. The man plays with his hair. "Talk to me, pretty, what's going on?"

Remington sobs. He isn't pretty. "No one needs me," he mumbles, "I need them but they-they don't need me." The words are so sad and so quiet and Andy feels tears in his eyes. He will never get used to seeing his love hurting, no matter how many times it happens.

"That's not true. I need you, Emerson and Sebastian need you, all your fans need you. So many people need you, baby boy, all the time." He shifts carefully so the boy is wrapped in his arms, head in the crook of his neck. "If you weren't here then I don't think I would be, either." Remington's isn't sure if he's ever heard Andy talk so sincerely before in his life.

Remington should kill himself. "Don't lie." Even though it's clear just by how Andy said it, Remington finds it so hard to believe his words.

"I'm not lying. I would never lie to you. I mean it. I need you, sweetheart." He feels Remington's body quivering in his arms.

The boy is so unsettled by his nightmare and he doesn't even know where those thoughts came from. He's been happy recently. "I-I feel like I'm going insane."

Andy shakes his head even though Remington can't see. "You're not going insane, baby, it's okay to feel like this. I'm so proud of you for waking me up." There's a pause, and then he asks, "why don't I take you on holiday?"

"What?"

"You've been in this house for weeks, petal. Getting away for a bit will do you some good."

Remington can't say that he hates the idea. It does sound nice. "If we go somewhere hot," he whispers, "then yes please."

Humming and stroking the younger's hair, Andy is so glad that Remington told him he was having suicidal thoughts. Who knows what would have happened if he hadn't woken him up. "Absolutely."

"Thankyou, Andy, for being so patient with me. I feel better now."

"There's no need to thank me, baby, and that's good to hear. Try and go back to sleep, yeah?"

Remington nods. "What if I have another nightmare?" He asks, anxious.

"Then you wake me up and we can talk about it. You're not in this alone."