I was meant to be at Download Festival this weekend until Corona fucked it up. Would have seen Black Veil Brides for the first time today, as well as The Pretty Reckless tomorrow. Sad times. Comments to cheer me up would be much appreciated. Thanks!

Trigger warning.

At the side of the road, the boys sit in the bus, waiting for news on someone coming to repair whatever the fuck is wrong. Unlike last time, the generator is still working, so at least it isn't cold, though it's really not ideal. Even at this time in the morning, cars are rushing past, loud, and aeroplanes are heard overhead every so often, cutting through the black, looming sky.

It looms much like Remington's desire to run out infront of a car. The longer they're there, the worse it seems to become.

The boy can't sleep knowing there's a problem with the bus, and that they might now be late for tomorrow's show. There's still a long way to go. He curls himself into Andy, who strokes his hair and assures him that everything will be okay. Sebastian is getting annoyed on the phone, talking to operators and asking why the fuck they've been waiting for so long, explaining that they've got to be somewhere. "We've been here for two fucking hours and we've got a fucking show to play tonight that's seven hours away!"

"Sir, someone will be there soon," the operator says timidly.

"You said that two hours ago!" Sebastian shouts, and hangs up. He paces the living area, coffee in hand, worried about Remington. He knows how he can go downhill when he is suicidal and there couldn't be a worse time for that to happen. The last thing any of them need is an overly depressed, tired, and stressed Remington in the midst of this. He decides the best thing to do is to go and see how his brother is doing, and so heads for the bunks.

Andy looks up when the curtain is pulled back, his husband's face hidden in his chest. "Any luck?" The man asks, hoping for good news.

"They said someone is coming soon, whatever the hell that means. How are you two doing?" He glances from Andy to Remington, and back to Andy.

"Could be better," Andy responds.

Sebastian nods. "How about you, bub?"

The singer doesn't lift his head up. He doesn't even move. "I want to slit my throat," he says, voice muffled. "I'm fine."

Sighing, Sebastian presses a smile for Andy, who returns it. "We'll be on the move soon."

"Can you ask the driver to run me over?" Remington asks, totally serious, and blindly finds Andy's hand with his own, holding it for comfort.

Sebastian winces at the hopeless words. "Get some sleep," is all he manages to respond with, giving Andy a face that says 'keep him safe.' He turns away and goes back to his coffee that he left on the kitchen counter.

Andy closes the curtain and continues stroking Remington's hair. "From one to ten, how bad are the urges?" He asks quietly.

The boy whimpers. "Nine point five," he mumbles, "ten if you weren't here."

"What was it when you tried to overdose?"

Remington looks up. His eyes are heavy and sad and he yawns. "Seven."

Andy stops himself from replying with 'shit', and instead kisses the younger's head.

"Are you disappointed in me?" Remington asks, almost in tears.

"No, baby boy. I'm worried about you. And I'm going to look after you. I could never be disappointed in you, my sweet boy." He watches Remington settle back with his face against his chest. "How about I read you something from that fairy book I got?"

There's a nod from Remington, who hears Andy pick up the book from the little shelf behind them, mounted on the wall. "I haven't looked at it yet," he whispers, trying to focus on the book and not on how he wants to choke himself with a belt.

"That's okay. You just breathe, close your eyes, and let me soothe your thoughts, okay?"

Remington nods again. "Okay," he agrees, letting his eyes fall closed. "If I start crying, I'm sorry."

Andy opens the book. "Shush you. No apologies." He scans the contents for something that will hopefully calm Remington's overwhelming thoughts. He reads it quietly and in a soft, comforting tone, praying that it'll send Remington to sleep.

After ten minutes, Remington lifts his head again and pulls one of Andy's hands from the book to hold. He settles down again with his lover's hand in his, focussing on Andy's soothing voice. The man reads with the book on the bed beside him, turning the pages with his free hand and stopping when he gets to the end of a chapter.

"Keep going," Remington whispers, finding that it's helping.

Andy does, and reads through nearly three more chapers until there's noise from the other end of the bus. Stranger's voices, and then Sebastian talking, doors slamming. "Everyone get up!" The guitarist shouts into the vehicle. "They're gonna drive us to a hotel! The engine is fucked! The generator is gonna go off soon apparently!" 

Remington whimpers and slowly sits up, rubbing his eyes, looking at Andy, who closes the book and reaches for some clothes. He hands Remington a hoodie and some tracksuit bottoms. "What number are we on now?"

The boy pulls the clothes on. "It was seven when you were reading the book, but now it's nine point five again."

"Come on, sweetie." Getting out of the bunk, Andy holds his hand out for Remington, who follows him, hood up.

Everyone is outside five minutes later, and they're told that the bus will be towed away to a garage and hopefully repaired by tonight, so they can have it at the venue. They all get into a large taxi and are driven ten minutes up the motorway and to a large chain hotel. Four rooms are booked and they disappear off to bed, Emerson with Sebastian, Johnny with Andrew, the driver with Austin, and Andy with Remington.

In the hotel room, Remington falls down onto the double bed with a loud, defeated sigh. "It's ten now," he says, not sure where Andy is in the room. "Andy? Cuddle?"

"I'm coming, sweetheart." He crawls up beside Remington. "I brought the book if you want me to keep reading until you're asleep?"

Remington nods. "Okay. Sorry I'm being so...pathetic."

"No. Don't you apologise for this. It's okay, I promise. Just breathe. And cry if you need to, honey." He waits for Remington to properly settle down before starting to read again. It takes fifteen minutes for Remington to fall asleep, and Andy carefully shifts so he's lying down, and turns off the light by the bed.

He can feel Remington's breaths on his skin and wonders how bad his thoughts are going to be tomorrow. Just because he said they were ten tonight doesn't mean they actually were.

Maybe he has no idea how bad a ten really is.

Maybe he's about to find out.

Ahahaha you're welcome I'm sad abt Dowload and this happens when I'm sad.