Scarlett

Earlier today, Cam offered to drive me, Harper, and Lucia around tonight... just for the heck of it. Cam is in my drawing class with me, which is great because no one else I know is in any classes with me. It made me miss Dr. Mariss's writing class last semester. It's a Friday night, so everything is going to work out okay... hopefully.
          I relapsed recently, after my dad messaged me a couple weeks ago after months of ignoring me. The only reason he messaged me was to say this: "Hey Scarlett, you know I'm still your father and I still love you. Why have you been ignoring me?"
          What I wanted to say (and almost said) was, "It's your fault. You're the one who made things worse for me by making me starve myself and controlling what I do with my own body, hence making me hate it. That's why I don't talk to you. Don't give me that 'I still love you' bs." What I actually said was, "Oh hey Dad- I'm sorry, I've been really busy in classes all year. School comes first, but I decided to major in English and minor in journalism now!"
          Dad: "Okay cool, just don't be eating so much just because you're not living with me. Prove that you're healthy and show what the scale says."

Just when I was feeling good about myself and making progress. He made me bring a scale with me to my room to regularly weigh myself, but I've never actually used it. But just so he won't be mad, I did what he asked me to anyway... 100 pounds. That's better than in the past when I used to weigh myself at his house. But still not healthy. Then when I sent the picture, he replied with: "wow you gained weight. Have some self-control."
          Aaaand that's when I relapsed. I was still vulnerable to the harmful comments. The days after that for the past week, I didn't eat much of anything. That day my dad texted me those comments, I ate nothing. The next day, I only ate one cup of applesauce.
          But tonight, after the four of us are done watching a musical, this relapse will not have lasted long. I no longer care; I have a good support system with me.

Harper

I just knew it. I just knew tonight would be the best night of my life. After my last class of the day, I took a little time for myself because the anxiety was kicking in rough today. The depressive thoughts fogged my head during class, to where I couldn't focus in class and would almost fall asleep. But I take it day by day, doing little things to make me genuinely smile.
          It's been a long time since I last watched a play or musical. None of us had ever been in one, but watching a show was the relaxation we all needed. But after, we planned to take a drive just for the heck of it. We laughed our way through the musical, loving every moment. Walking out to Cam's car after the show, we planned the night ahead. "Where the hell are we going, guys?" asked Cam.
          "I have no idea," answered Lucia. "I could go for some Mickey-D's. Are you down?"
          I smiled brightly and nodded. "It's been so long since I've had Mickey-D's! I am craving their fries for some reason."
          Scarlett hesitated, but eventually nodded. "That actually would be nice. I haven't eaten much in a few days." She then looked down at their body. "I relapsed last week."
          "Oh wow I'm so sorry Scarlett," Cam comforted her. We joined in comforting Scarlett during and after she told the story of how it happened in the car. "Well, we can have your Mickey-D's covered for you."
          "Of course!" I agreed. "Girl, you're gorgeous the way you are. Nothing will ever change that. A little Mickey-D's now and then will not hurt."
          Scarlett smiled at me from the front passenger seat. "You're right, Harper. Thank you guys."

The rest of the car ride over to Mickey-D's was smooth, and even fun. We each took turns playing our favorite songs on Cam's phone, hooked up to the radio. They played '90s and 2000s emo and pop punk music, Scarlett played some of the same (with the addition of new wave, goth rock, and softer alt music), Lucia played a mix of movie and musical soundtracks and pop music, and I played even more nostalgic pop music. We didn't care that it was playing loud in the Mickey-D's drive-through at the window for the worker to hear. They even seemed to enjoy it.

          When our two warm twenty-piece nuggets, two fresh baskets of fries, and four milkshakes arrived, Cam parked the car at a scenic overlook, where the stars were shining brightly above. This is my favorite part.

Cam

I drove the crew around with ease– for once forgetting about the religious trauma that had still been lingering in the back of my mind. But tonight, I was celebrating. All four of us were. Celebrating our friendship, realization of what we wanted to do with our lives, and just our new lives in general. Scarlett sat in the front passenger seat next to me, and I couldn't help but admire her smile, laugh, voice, and everything about her. I think I have a crush on her. And they're the first person I personally know who I've liked that way.
          Anyways, I drove us to Walmart after finishing our Mickey-D's because we just needed somewhere to run around silly. Since I considered Scarlett, Lucia, and Harper to be my family now, I can finally be a kid. Since before the time I realized I was non-binary, I was taught by the church that it wasn't okay for boys to express emotions or be in the LGBTQ+, and that it was okay for me to be overly dominant and control women. I am so glad to have unlearned that. Because I wouldn't have the friends I do now. I would buy myself plushies, records for my collection at "home," and even fabrics to make myself my own flags.
          "Guys should I buy this for the guy on my dance team I have to get a gift for in the spring gift exchange?" asked Harper, holding up an axolotl Squishmallow. "He said he loves axolotls."
          "You are too cute!" exclaimed Lucia. "Do it. What's his name?"
          "His name is Aster," gushed Harper.
          I jumped in, loving the idea. "Yes, do it!"
          Scarlett agreed, too. "You should! I'm just here for this purple cat."

Did we care that people around us were judging and laughing at us grown college students buying stuffed animals? No. All that mattered is that I could finally express myself around my friends who mean the world to me. I have the support. I can piece it all together along with them. No tomorrow? No worries. I even let loose and drove a little faster than usual.

Lucia

After the short but sweet Walmart trip in which we each walked out with Squishmallows and room snacks, we headed back to the car to drive to wherever we would go next. I could have sworn I saw someone who looked exactly like my ex inside Walmart, but I paid no mind. Neither did he.
          I continued to lead a carpool karaoke session on the way to wherever we would end up next. I checked the time after a few songs: it was a quarter past midnight already. Time had flown by. And by the time we passed by the town center, we were all tired. We sang one last song: "Quarter Past Midnight" by Bastille (with which I harmonized), then spent the rest of the ride being quiet. But it was the good, peaceful, and positive kind of quiet. I think I even fell asleep for a few minutes and woke up just in time to arrive back at the college. Best night of my life.

I woke up to Harper getting excited all of a sudden after reading something on his phone: "my biological parents are looking for me!" he exclaimed. "They want to find their son: I just saw something about this while scrolling through Tik Tok!"
          Cam beamed, happy for their friend. "What the hell, really!?"
          Harper nodded, almost in happy tears. "Yes! They said here that they didn't have a choice to give me up, and it's actually a sad story behind that."
          "Oh my goodness! How did you know it was them?" asked Scarlett.
          "I remember what they look like. I somehow have a picture of them with me as a baby somewhere in my room, and they showed that exact same picture in the video!"
          "Dude, that's crazy!" I exclaimed. "We should definitely, eventually, go out and find them."
          "Yes! I'll show you all the video later, which tells that story."
          "Oh, of course!" I replied. "But that's great that they're actively looking for you."
          That ended the night, as we all unloaded our things from Cam's car and walked back to our rooms as Cam drove back to "their" house. A good night ending on a good note; and we're just getting going.