NOT LONG AFTER OUR LAST EPISODE

https://youtu.be/rgcciYVl-EU

We open up on the clock tower when suddenly a newly arrived sinner literally drops into Hell while screaming.

Four-Armed Demon: Ugh, huh? I'm alive. I'm alive!

Unfortunately, his luck was short lived as he gets run over by an oncoming cab. As the car stops, out steps the pornstar himself, Angel Dust. He listens to Travis while fixing his hair.

Travis: Thanks for the fun time, hot stuff!

Angel Dust: Yeah yeah, listen. Keep this discreet, you hear me? I can't let it get out I'm offerin' my services to randos on the street! It was a quick cash grab. You got it?

Travis: Pfft! Whatever you say, slut! Muhehehehehehe!

Angel Dust: Ouch! Ooh! Such an insult! Let me know when you've come up with something creative to call me you sack of poorly packaged horse shit! Tell the missus I said "hi" *kisses him*, Shnookums!

Travis angrily rants to himself while driving away. Angel watches before noticing a vending machine that sells drugs. He gets a pack of Angel Dust (the drug), and is about to dig in when a random demon snatches it.

Feathered Demon: Yoink!

Angel Dust: Hey!

Feathered Demon: Up yours, drag show!

Suddenly a random boulder falls and smashes the demon along with the drugs.

Angel Dust: *gasps* Oh my GOD! picks up the torn bag My drugs, DAMN IT!

He looks up to see a warship flying overhead and blasting everything in sight. Inside the blimp is a bunch of living eggs running around. At the helm of the warship is the mastermind behind the machine, Sir Pentious.

Sir Pentious: *laughs hysterically* Those other cowardly ssssinners dare not hinder my territorial take over! A wise decision! The power of my machines are unmatched! No other demon can compare to the likesss of I!

Egg Boy #23: Gee! That was pretty swell, boss!

Egg Boy #666: Yeah!

Other Egg Boy: You really showed them what for! I liked when you shot them with your ray gun! *gets slapped away by Sir Pentious*

Egg Boy #23: I wish he'd shoot me with his ray gun.

Sir Pentious: At this rate, I will seize control of the entire west side of the Pentagram by day's end! And nothing, not a single beast in this inferno of suffering will be able to take back this empire from my constrictive grasp!

An Egg Boy shows up and pops a cork off a champagne bottle into Pentious' face. Pentious whacks him away while tossing another one with his tail.

Random Egg Boy: Oh, boy!

Sir Pentious: Hell will be mine! And everybody will know the name of Sir Pen-

???: EDGELORD!!!

Sir Pentious: Pardon?! Who said that?! *angrily looks to two Egg Boys* What did you just say to me, you fried chicken fetuses?! SSSSSpeak up!

Both Egg Boys: That wasn't us, Mr. Bossman.

Suddenly, a small bomb crashes through the window and lands on the ground in front of Sir Pentious. The bomb explodes into a cloud of red smoke, causing Pentious to cough. The one responsible steps inside, revealing herself to be Cherri Bomb.

Cherri Bomb: You lookin' for a fight, old man?! Why don't you get that tinker toy bullshit off my turf before I smash it?!

A large pipe then falls from the ceiling and crushes an Egg Boy. Cherri looked before grinning back at Pentious.

Cherri Bomb: . . . . More!

Sir Pentious: Oh! You wanna go, missy?! Well, I'm happy to oblige! Ahahah!

Pentious grins maniacally as his hench-eggs hold weapons, ready to fight. We transition to 666 News, presented by Katie Killjoy and her co-host, Tom Trench.

Katie: Good afternoon, I'm Katie Killjoy.

Tom: And I'm Tom Trench! Chaos out at Pentagram City today as a turf war is raging on the west side! Between notable kingpin, Sir Pentious, and self-proclaimed spunky powerhouse, Cherri Bomb!

As he speaks, two pictures show up. One of Sir Pentious trying to look hip, and then followed up with one of Cherri Bomb flipping the bird.

Katie: That's right, Tom! After the recent Extermination, many areas are now up for grabs! Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain new territory!

We see footage of the two clashing and Cherri tossing a bomb into Pentious' face.

Tom: Those two seem to be really going at it, huh?

Katie: Looks like they're fighting tooth and nail for that hot spot! *fishes out a tooth and a nail from her mug of coffee and swallows them*

Tom: And I'd sure like to nail her hot spot!

Katie: Haha, you are a limp-dick jackass, Tom! Or should I say - *pours scalding hot coffee onto his crotch* no dick?

Tom: *curls over in pain* Ugh...not again!

An image of Charlie appears on screen as Katie continues.

Katie: Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of Hell's own head honcho who's here to discuss her brand new passion project! All that and more, after the break!

Katie breaks character at the end and crushes her mug before sternly looking at Tom.

Katie: Suck it up, you little bi-!

The camera feed quickly cuts off for a commercial break before she can finish. We than see Charlie getting ready for her interview while Vaggie fixes her bowtie.

Vaggie: Okay! You remember what to say?

Charlie: *inhales* Yes! Let's do this!

Vaggie: Just, look at me and I'll mouth it to you.

Charlie: Come on, Vaggie! I know what to say! I just feel like we need to...I don't know, make things sound more exciting!*Gasps* Hooo! What if I si-

Vaggie: -Sing a song about it?

Charlie: You knew I was gonna say that! *boops Vaggie on the nose*

Vaggie: Because I know you. But despite what Jesse and Crystal said, please don't sing! This is serious!

Charlie: Well, you know, I'm better at expressing myself and my goals through song!

Charlie stands on a table to further emphasize her point while her pets, Razzle and Dazzle munch on some donuts.

Vaggie: But, life isn't a musical, hon.

Charlie: What about Jesse? He sings all the time.

Vaggie: Well one, he's a rocker. And two, he can weaponize it. And Crystal only sings to herself while working.

Charlie: Fine. But, I have these other ideas of what to say! The highlighted bits are the best part! Crystal helped me come up with them!

Vaggie: Uh, it's all highlighted. Is this a drawing...?

Charlie: Yes! That's the happy ending, see?! Everyone smiling and happy in Heaven.

Vaggie: I don't think it's that simple. Just please follow the talking points we went over. And do not sing!

Charlie: Okay, fiiiine. (in a faux British accent) I'll just have to resort to my impeccable improv skills!

Charlie walks up to Katie while Vaggie watches with worry.

Vaggie: I just hope Jesse and Crystal are fairing better then us.

Speaking of the two, we cut to them in the middle of the street handing out ad flyers to everyone. Or at least trying to. Crystal was flying around trying to get peoples attention to no avail. Jesse was playing his music to help sell the idea of redemption, but only gets some produce to the face.

Crystal: Damn, tough crowd.

Jesse: No shit. Bunch of troglodytes is what they are.

Crystal: Hey come on, cheer up. I'm sure we can convince at least one sinner.

Jesse: Yeah, it'll be slow though.

Crystal keeps flying when suddenly an explosion startles her and causes her to fall to the ground.

Crystal: Woah, oof! Hey! Who's the wise guy blowing things up!? 

Jesse: If anyone's gonna be blowing things up with style, it's me!

The two drop their fliers and run off towards the carnage to see Angel Dust and Cherri battling Sir Pentious.

Crystal: Shit, it's Angel!

Jesse: And Cherri Bomb! I haven't seen her in ages.

Crystal: You know her?

Jesse: Long story. We were drinking in a bar, started a brawl and decided to "relieve" ourselves.

Crystal: Okay, I regret asking.

Jesse: Either way, we should help them.

Crystal: Right!

The two rush in to help with Crystal bringing out her wings and Jesse flying in by surfing the music stream from his Guitar. Back with Charlie, she was introducing herself to Katie.

Charlie: Hiii! I'm Charlie.

Katie: Katie Killjoy.*blows out the smoke of her cigarette* I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you, but that would be a lie. And you can put that away. I don't touch the gays. I have standards!

Charlie: Yeah? How's uh... how's that working out for ya?

Katie: Look, my time is money. So, I'll keep this short. You're not here because we wanted you here. You're here because Jeffrey couldn't make it for his cannibal cooking segment. You might be some royal big shot, but that doesn't mean shit to me. I'm too rich and too influential to give a flying fuck about what some tux-wearing demon "princess" wants to advertise.

Charlie: But, I-

Katie: So, don't get cute with me, honey, or I will fucking bury you!

News Staff: And we're live!

Katie rushes back to her desk upon hearing this and snaps her neck before snapping it back in place.

Katie: Welcome back! So, Charlotte!

Charlie: It's... Charlie.

Katie: Whatever. Tell us about this new passion project you've been insistently pestering our news station about!

Charlie: Well...

Charlie nervously looks at the crowd and see's Vaggie kindly encouraging her. Charlie exhales before speaking.

Charlie: ...As most of you know, I was born here in Hell and growing up, I always tried to see the good in everyone around me. Hell is my home and you are my people. We... we just went through another Extermination. We lost so many souls, and it breaks my heart to see my people being slaughtered every year. No one is even given a chance! I can't stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such violence! So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption? Well, I think yes! So, that's what this project aims to achieve! Ladies and gentlemen, I'm opening the first of its kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!

Silence falls as demons across the city are listening. From an electronic store window, to a saloon, to a bar.

Charlie: Y'know? 'Cause hotels are for people passing through... temporarily...

At a bar somewhere, a lizard demon laughs.

Lizard Demon: Ahahaha! IS this girl for real?! She thinks-*tries to hold in his laughter* You hear what she thinks?! She thi- HAHA! Ah, she's nuts.

Charlie: I think it'll serve a purpose... a place to work toward redemption... yay...!

Back at the electronics store, a man with a familiar grin watches.

Cameraman: *snickers* Stupid bitch.

Vaggie gets pissed upon hearing that and punches the man out.

Charlie: ...Look, every single one of you has something good, deep down inside. I know you do! ...Maybe I'm not getting through to you.

Razzle and Dazzle are alerted, knowing what she's about to do. Vaggie face palms from hearing this.

Vaggie: Oh, no...

With a snap of her fingers, Charlie set's the stage and begins her song.

https://youtu.be/ZWrM-eDxTas

Everyone laughs after her performance and at the idea of demons wanting redemption.

Katie: What in the Nine Circles makes you think a single denizen of Hell would give two shits about becoming a better person?! You have no proof that this little experiment even works! You want people to be good?! Just... because?!

Charlie: Well, we have a patron already, who believes in our cause and he's shown incredible progress!

Katie: Oh? And who might that be?

Charlie: Oh, just someone named... Angel Dust!

Tom: The porn star?

Katie: You fucking would, Tom!

Tom nervously fidget's in his seat.

Katie: In any case, that's not even an accomplishment. I'm sure you could get that hooker to do anything with enough booger sugar and lube.

Charlie: Oh, I beg to differ! He's been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two weeks now.

News Staff: Breaking news!

Katie: We are receiving word that a new player has entered the ongoing turf war! Let's go to the live feed.

We see the live feed show Angel who's in the middle of the carnage fighting off Sir Pentious.

Charlie: Oh... shit.

Katie: "Oh, shit" indeed! It looks like the one who just joined the battle is none other than *feigns a gasp* porn actor, Angel Dust! What a juicy coincidence! You must feel really stupid, right now.

Katie and Tom: *laughs and does jazz hands* Ratings!

Tom: Wait, I'm being told that there's two more people entering the turf war and assisting Angel and Cherri.

They look at the live feed to see Jesse rocking out and killing a few Egg Boys while Crystal flies around with her conjured wings and blasting a few Egg Boys as well. Charlie and Vaggie's eyes widen in response.

Vaggie: *quietly* Que carajo, you two had one job!

Katie: Interesting turn of events. It appears they've been joined by a hellhound with weaponized music and an imp with demonic magic. The likes of which have never been seen before with either species might I add. This just keeps getting better!

Charlie: Don't look at this!

Katie: Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival. Tell us, how does it feel to be a total failure?

The crowd continues laughing while Charlie frantically looks around, trying to think of a come back and picks up a nearby pen.

Charlie: Yeah, well... How does it feel that I got your pen, huh?! ...Bitch!

Everyone stares at Charlie in silence. Charlie nervously chuckles and sets the pen back while Tom quickly runs off. Katie gets more pissed and transforms before growling and attacking Charlie. Back at the turf war, we see Angel and Cherri

Cherri: Heyyy, thanks for the back up, Angie!

Angel: Hahaha! You kiddin'? This is the best action I've seen in ages!

Cherri: Where've you been, anyway? I thought you up and died or some shit.

Angel: Oh, I wish! I've been staying at this crappy hotel on the other side of town. Some broads are lettin' me stay rent-free if I play nice.

The two hop over and Angel starts gunning down some Egg Boys.

Angel: Y'know, no fights, no pranks, no "problematic language"... Her words, not mine. These crazy bitches are no fun! I've been clean for two weeks!

Cherri: Holy shit!

Angel: Well, sorta clean. Just clean as you can get from a shitload of Bolivian marching powder!

Angel is then suddenly grabbed by a chain and slammed to the side by Sir Pentious.

Angel: Ohh!~ Harder, Daddy!

Sir Pentious: *gasps* Son?!

Angel gives him a "WTF" look while Cherri kicks him aside and helps Angel up.

Sir Pentious: Grr! You whores have no classss! In war, The side remembered is the side with the most ssstyle!

Cherri: Or the side that ain't dead!

Angel: Speakin' a style, is your hat like, alive or something?

Sir Pentious:  Oh! Well, that's none of your GOD DAMN BUSSSSINESS! Now, is it?

Angel: Hah, would that make your hat the top and you the bottom?

Sir Pentious takes offense to this while an Egg Boy points a sign at him reading "loser".

Sir Pentious: I'm going to blow you to bitssss!

Angel: Hm, kinky!

Sir Pentious: Oh, not like that! Pervert!

An Egg Boy appears behind them and fires a tentacle gun, nearly grabbing Cherri. But Angel pushes her out of the way and gets grabbed.

Sir Pentious: Not so cocky now, are we?!

Angel: Y'know, you really gotta watch what comes outta ya mouth. I've been making these sex jokes the whole *see's Pentious hold up a blade* TIME!*reveals his third pair of arms carrying a gun* And it's obvious ya ain't catchin' on. I mean, it's just sad!

Angel shoots Sir Pentious and gets free before flipping him the bird.

Cherri: So, think you're gonna get in a lotta trouble for this?

Angel: Eh, what's one little brawl gonna cause?

Crystal: ANGEL!!!

The two look to see Crystal and Jesse approaching.

Crystal: What are you thinking?! You could get hurt! And this is really bad for business! If the news or Charlie see you in a turf war, this will hurt the hotel's reputation! We can't have that!

Angel: ....I'm sorry, who the fuck are you?

Jesse: We haven't met before, but we're new at the hotel to help out Charlie.

Crystal: Oh right, sorry. We didn't get a proper introduction. I'm Crystal, and this is my best friend, Jesse!

Jesse: Sup, mates.

Angel: Quite the sexy beast too.

Angel makes a flirty cat growl towards Jesse who gives him a serious look in return. Crystal noticed an Egg Boy about to shoot Angel and quickly pushed him out of the way, taking the shot to the shoulder.

Crystal: GAH! Damnit!

Jesse slowly looks at Pentious and the Egg Boys with a look of pure anger.

Jesse: That's it, you're fucking dead mate! We're having eggs tonight!!!

Pentious runs off in fear while Jesse and the other three start fighting off the Egg boys. Jesse is blasting them with his music, Cherri blowing them up, Angel shooting them, and Crystal blasting magic despite only having one active arm. Cherri and Jesse fight with their backs against each other.

Cherri: So, how've you been hot stuff? Been a while.

Jesse: Eh, rocking out, drinking, the usual.

Cherri: I missed having you around. That night was bloody wild.

Jesse: What can I say? I know how to rock a ladies world.

The two laugh before being called at by Crystal.

Crystal: Hey, you two! Less flirty more bloody! *spots Pentious* Hey, get over here, you big python and take on someone your own size!

Angel: That's what she said! *Angel joins her*

Jesse and Cherri run over to join them.

Jesse: You can do both, Crystal.

Angel: Yeah, you tell her, Red!

Jesse: Not into guys, sorry Chest Fluff!

Angel: Son of a Bitch!

Crystal: Alright, I've had just about enough of this! Jesse, get your guitar ready! Cherri, have a bomb I can use? I got a plan to blow this python miles away.

Angel: Tha-

Jesse: Don't even think about it, mate. But yeah, I can distract him.

Cherri: Got your back, girlfriend!

Crystal: Good, I need you to keep him distracted long enough so I can place the bombs near him. Thanks for the bombs, Cherri. *conjures her wings* Alright, everyone ready?

Jesse: I've got just the song in mind and I'm ready to rock!

Cherri: You know it! *holds a bomb*

Angel: *loads his gun* Born ready, baby!

Angel and Cherri fight off the Egg Boys and Crystal places the bombs around while Pentious is distracted by Jesse's music.

https://youtu.be/w4cdbQehbaY

Crystal finishes placing the bombs and calls out to Jesse.

Crystal: Okay, done! Jesse, you can wrap it up!

Crystal puts up a force field around her, Cherri and Angel as Jesse finishes the song. Jesse let's out a final high note which sets off the bombs and launched Pentious and the remaining Egg Boys away.

Crystal: *laughs* Man, that's the most fun I've had in two years!

Angel: I know, right?!

Jesse: Damn, please tell me someone was recording that!!! That's what I call a showstopper!!!

Crystal: You know it, Jesse!

Crystal runs over and picks up a nearby camera that was set on a bin and smirks.

Crystal: As if I was gonna miss the opportunity to record a potential performance from you.

Jesse: Haha, record labels ain't ignoring this one!

Cherri: No kidding.

Angel: I'll admit, that was bad ass.

Crystal trips and falls to the ground, causing her wounded shoulder to react.

Crystal: Ow! *grabs her shoulder* Be honest Jesse, how bad is it?

Jesse walks over and looks at her bullet wound.

Jesse: Not too bad. Nothing your magic can't fix.

Crystal: That's good to hear.

Crystal stands up while Angel noticed a limo pull up.

Angel: Ah shit, we're in for it now.

Angel points to the open door where a pissed off Vaggie stands.

Vaggie: You three, in here, now!!!

Jesse: Whelp, we're fucked.

Crystal: *groans in pain* Coming Vaggie!

Crystal walks over and gets in, beginning a healing spell on her shoulder. Jesse is about to head over but is stopped by Cherri.

Cherri: You sure you wanna go with them? We could always go back to my place and repeat that night. *gives a seductive look*

Jesse: *chuckles* As tempting as that is, I've actually been seeing someone for a couple years now.

Cherri: *laughs* You got hitched? Fuck off, mate. Oh well, have fun. It was good seeing you and Angel again.

Angel: You too, Cherri! Now c'mon, Red!

Jesse: Coming!

Jesse hops in the limo and shuts the door as they drive away.

TO BE CONTINUED -->