Blitzø¸ stood between Loona and Y/N. Draping his arm over the Hellhound he pulled her into a hug.

           "Look, the point is, Loona is a valued member of our family, and we don't get rid of family. Y/N's free game though."

Loona looked up from her phone and briefly smiled, touched by Blitzø's words. Y/N looked at Blitzø¸ with a face that said "screw you too".

           "We aren't a family, sir—"" Moxxie exclaimed—" "You are the boss! We are the employees! You treat her like she's some troubled teenager! She's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones! Our Doctor hasn't even been an adult for longer than a year!"

As Moxxie ranted, Loona continued to scroll through her phone —slowly raising her middle finger to him. On the other hand Y/N had nothing to say, Moxxie wasn't entirely wrong.

"That is offensive!" Said Blitzø.

Blitzø walked towards window, lifting the blinds before slamming his face against the window, cracking the glass.

"Without homeless people, I wouldn't have HALF the joy and laughter I do in this life!"

Outside the window sat a homeless demon, looking sad and holding up a sign that reads "Monee helps. Satan bless." A succubus glanced down at the homeless demon while on her phone, before turning away and dismissing the bum. From his vantage point Blitzø smugly smiled and waved at the unhoused Imp below before closing the blinds and walking back to the table.

Moxxie continued his rant once Blitzø came back.

"While we're on the subject of family—" Moxxie did quotation marks with his fingers as he said the word family— "can you stop finding me and Millie outside of work?"

"Come on, sweetie! It's not that big a deal."

The sound of glass shattering echoed throughout the room as Moxxie slowly turned towards his wife with a look of shock.

"Excuse me... WHAT?!"

The scene slowly turned into a flashback of Moxxie and Millies kitchen, where Moxxie was making a soup of sorts.

"Honey, can you get me the butter?" Moxxie asked as he stirred the pot.

"Sure sweetie," answered Millie.

Millie walked over to the fridge door and opened it. Inside she found Blitzø, who hands her a gross, viscous butter.

"Spoiler alert: the butter's spoiled!" Said Blitzø, earning a giggle from the southern sounding imp.

"What's funny, honey?" Moxxie asked as he threw sliced carrots into the pot.

"Really impressive wordplay, said Blitzø.

Moxxie's head snapped back at the sudden announcement of Blitzø's voice.

"What the- WHY ARE YOU IN OUR FRIDGE?!?!"

Later that evening, Inside Moxxie and Millie's apartment they lay fast asleep in bed. Moxxie tossed and turned as the sound of a cat purring can be heard. Moxxie opened his eyes and sees Blitzø standing on him, looking him right in the eyes.

"Whatcha dreamin' about?" Asked Blitzø.

"I was dreaming my parents were being murdered—" said Moxxie, half awake— "but now... I'd like to go back to that."

The next day, halfway across the Pride Ring in the Entertainment District, Y/N was in his apartment beating away at punching bag. Heavy metal blared from his headphones and he slammed his fists into the glowing red rune covered bag.

"Chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos!"

"Chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos!"

Y/N spun, hitting a round kick on the bag, breaking right through it.

Y/N groaned in annoyance at the sight of his punching bag.

"Wow you've got some strong legs there, Y/-"

Blitzø didn't get to finish his sentence as within the blink of his eyes he was suddenly grafted into the wall of Y/N's apartment, Y/N's fist one millimeter from Blitzø head.

"...Kink-"

Everything suddenly went black for Blitzø.

On an unrelated note, for some reason Blitzø woke up in his bed three days later, with two charges to his bank account for a wall repair and a magic punching bag that he never made.

Back in present time the whole group —minus Loona— was staring at Blitzø.

"Just... stop... doing... that!" Moxxie yelled.

Blitzø shrugged nonchalantly, "alright I'll stop doing it too Y/N, but I don't see what the issue is. There somethin' you don't want me seein'?"

"No!" Exclaimed Moxxie, his eye twitching in anger.

Loona snickered at the same time as Blitzø spoke.

"You a baby-wiener-haver?" Teased Blitzø.

"Sir, what you say and how you act is totally, inappropriate!"

Millie laid her hand on Moxxie's shoulder, attempting to sooth him, "Calm down, Mox! You're gonna have another panic attack!"

"I AM CALM!" Shouted the enraged imp.

Millie lowered him from the table back into his chair as Moxxie whimpered in anger while looking back at Blitzo.

"Shh-shh-shh. There, there."

"Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff—" Blitzø said as he motioned his hands to imply sexual activity— "you do outside work hours. So, don't; judge me!"

           "Oh, I do judge you, sir—" accosted the Imp— "Quite a lot, actually!"

"Mox, he's our boss!" Millie said, as she placed a hand on her husband's shoulder.

           "No-no-no, it's fine Mills, your husband is just..." Blitzø trailed off, catching a glimpse of Y/N holding up a jar that read 'SLUR TAX'.

"...Mentally challenged," Blitzø told the country imp.

           "Does failing to immaturely insult me make you feel better about your sad, single life?" Moxxie asked, chuckling slightly at the jar.

Blitzø leaned towards Moxxie, a smug look on his face, "It actually does."

Loona decided to butt into the conversation, looking away from her phone to glare at Moxxie, "The only reason you have a wife, is because you're easy to manage."

Loona's comment lit Millie's short fuse, slamming her hands against the table, gazing at Loona with anger blazing in her golden eyes. Y/N on the other hand slowly side eyed Loona, memories of the multiple times he'd coerced Loona into helping him with black berry and lavender booze.

"No, he's not, you BITCH!" Shouted Millie as she flipped Loona off, earning a growl from the towering Hellhound and the toss of a cough drop from Y/N.

Blitzø stepped in, hugging Loona as he told Millie off, "Do not talk to my receptionist that way! She's sensitive!"

"Yes, I am," Loona snarled.

"You guys are all fucking assholes," said a young voice from the end of the table.

Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona's eye all widen in surprise at the sudden voice. The four employees look at the young boy Y/N had strung up to a medical cot after Moxxie had accidentally shot him earlier. The boy lied on the crappy medical table with wires connecting to a heart monitor attached to his chest.

"Oh, shut up, kid! You're lucky to witness this!" Blitzø spat.

Moxxie sighed as he pinched bridge of his nose, "Ugh, this company is such a mess!"

Y/N nodded, slowly reaching under the table to take out a scalpel, knowing something stupid is about to go down.

"Alright, let's get back to talking about my outfit," said Blitzø.

"Nobody was talking about that," groaned Loona.

"It's mediocre," signed Y/N.

           "Fuck you Y/N, you're built like Megan the Stallion's fur suit. Now the rest of you, how does it look? It's good, right?" Blitzø said calmly.

           "It's been a literal hell—" the boy said as he detached the tubes of the heart monitor from his chest— "having to pretend to be paralyzed so you fuckshits wouldn't kill me! But, now I want that. I want death!"

The boy once again points at Blitzø.

           "You are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm a kid! We're supposed to like clowns! Even the creepy ones!"

Moxxie began to interrupt the kid, "Hey, now! That's not very—"

The boy interrupted Moxxie, intimidating him in the process.

           If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit."

Millie slammed one of her hands onto the table, using her other hand to gesture at Moxxie.

           "That's my husband you're talkin' to!"

The boy laughed at the revelation, earning a snarl from both Moxxie and Millie.

"That's your husband?!" The boy blubbered.

           "I figured you for a slut. But, I didn't know you needed dick that bad—" the boy spat before he pointed at Loona— "And you!"

           "What?" Loona asked as she looked up from her phone, "What about me?"

           "Nothing. I don't talk to dogs. I'm a cat person." The boy said as he smugly crossed his arms.

Loona gave a wide-eyed glare, whining at the boy with anger, as she went back to looking at her phone.

The boy then snapped towards Y/N who was sharpening the scalpel.

           "And you, what the hell is your purpose? I don't even know what you're supposed to be? You don't even speak, you're like some half baked self insert weirdo's on the internet make that add nothing to the story other than edgy fan service."

Y/N looked over at the kid and rolled his eyes.

"Wow. Ah, y'know, kid, you kind of are a piece of shit." Blitzø commented, everyone verbally agreeing.

As the I.M.P employees grumbled at the boys words, Loona's eyes began widening as she received a text message.

"Oh, fuck—" Spouted the Hellhound— "Guys, I just got a text from our client! Guess he was the right target after all."

Blitzø looked at her with confusion, "Who?"

Loona pointed at the boy, "Him."

"Me?" Squeaked the boy as he pointed towards himself.

Loona nodded smugly, "Yup," she replied without looking up.

"They wanted us to kill an actual child," Blitzø asked.

"That's what they're sayin'," said Loona.

"Well, Christ on a stick. I guess there is a God," Blitzø said as he drew a flintlock pistol and readied to fire it at the boy, only for a Scalpel to fly through the air and puncture the boy's skull, killing him instantly.

The employee's quickly turned to look at Y/N, confused and upset that he'd killed him.

"Y/N, what the heck! That was my kill!" Said Blitzø.

"You were going to shoot holes into our medical equipment," signed Y/N in response.

Blitzø crossed him arms upset and looked away, mumbling about "kill stealers" and "stupid bug twink".

Then I.M.P crew left and picked up the Boy's body Blitzø and Moxxie kicking the kid's corpse, Millie stabbing him, and Loona recording everything on her phone as Y/N made sure they didn't destroy the extremely expensive equipment.

Blitzø's voiced narrated over the scene, "Y'know, folks? With this company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable of doing the same things anyone else can. Like killing people!"

Blitzø and Moxxie could be scene wearing full body hazard gear, dismembering the Kid's body with a hacksaw and chainsaw respectively. Blood splattering across the room, until the scene changed to the group by a dumpster messing tossing the boys body parts in a garbage bag

Blitzø continued his voiceover, "So, from us here at the Immediate Murder Professionals group, we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money... is gone and you're never getting it back, and you can write us a bad review but we'll play dumb to it, because it's Hell and no one fuckin' cares."

As Blitzo did the voiceover, he wrapped his arms around the crew, hugging Moxxie, Millie, Y/N and Loona, the latter's phone flying out of her hands.

"Y'know, even though this kid was a target... he's still a child—." Blitzø spoke as he wrapped his tail lovingly around the group— "And it's important that we handle this going forward respectfully."

Up on Earth in front of the Hospital Building a news crew was set up, broadcasting the Kids Mother. In her hands she held a poorly made drawing of her son, stained with her tears. The male news reporter beside her held up his microphone to her, a blatant look of disinterest on his face— worse being the news headline that made fun of her reading, "Mom sucks at drawing own kid", while the ticker bar constantly reads "There is a missing boy! Yet another missing kid!"

The Boy's mother sobbed as she spoke to the camera, "Please! If anyone has seen my little Eddie, please contact us at—"

Eddie's mother was cut off as a horrific sight fell into her. The bloody garbage bag of her son falls from the sky into her arms, causing her to shriek in terror.

Eddie's mother and the news reporter quickly looked up into the sky in shock as the camera follows their gaze. Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie were shown looking down on them through a portal.

Blitzø smiled and waved towards the group.

           "You're welcome!" He said, disappearing into the portal with the trio as it closes behind them.

__________________________________
A/N: I am so sorry this came out so late, I've been studying for the SAT's and just passed my driving test. So safe to say things have been hectic. I went for 38 hours without sleep cause I was helping my mom with volunteer work for the last four days. I'll try to post faster, I have an idea for a short the next chapter but not sure how it'll go. Signing off for now,

Love DeadGodwalking.

Word count: 2228