Chapter 18: Overture!
Fang was getting ready to meet with Charlie at the Hazbin Hotel where he promised to come by and help her with her hotel for sinners who want to get redeemed in which the princess of hell needs all the help she can get if she wants to fulfill her dream. After getting dressed and cleaned up, the HellWolf left his penthouse and headed to his bike but not before disintegrating some demons who were trying to steal his bike.
Fang: Can't those assholes down here keep their fucking paws off my stuff, I swear the next person who dares touches my bike, I am going on a rampage.
Fang started up his bike and drove towards the city he went to before where he met with the king of hell. After he arrived in the city an hour later, he came upon the same hotel where he met Charlie along with her girlfriend Vaggie as well as the weird friends. Fang got off his ride and knocked on the door and soon the door opened to reveal Vaggie.
Fang: Hey there, Vaggie.
Vaggie: Fang? What are you doing back here?
Fang: Charlie called me days ago saying she needed some extra help with the hotel so I offered her my assistance. I think she's having a difficult time trying to get sinner to come to the hotel.
Vaggie: Yea its not looking too good but I am sure we can try to do the best we can to help Charlie, this is what she wants.
Fang: At least there is someone who supports her and not just me. By the way, where is Charlie?
Vaggie: She's up in her room, come on in I have to show her something anyway.
Fang: What is it?
Vaggie: It's something that Alastor made that could help with the hotel, I think.
Fang: I see.
Meanwhile in Charlies, she was in her bedroom reading an old book that belonged to her mother that she hasn't seen in a long while and told the story about her as well as her father including the angels.
Charlie Pov:
Once upon a time there was a glowing city protected by golden gates known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light, angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil. Lucifer was one of these angels, he was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation but he was seen as troublemaker by the elders of heaven for they felt his way thinking was dangerous to the order of their world. So he watched as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways from the dust of earth they created Adam and Lilith equals as the first of mankind but despite this Adam demanded control and Lilith refused to summit to his will, she fled the garden drawn in by her fierce independence Lucifer found her and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love, together they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity offering the fruit of knowledge to Adam's new bride Eve who gladly accepted but this gift came with a curse for with this single act of disobedience evil finally found its way into earth with it a new realm of darkness and sin and the order of heaven had worked to maintain was shattered as punishment for their reckless act heaven cast Lucifer and his love into the dark pit he had created never allowing him to see the good that came from humanity only the cruel and the wicked. Ashamed Lucifer lost his will to dream but Lilith thrived empowering demon kind with her voice and her songs and as the numbers of hell grew so did its power threatened by this heaven made a truly heartless decision that every year they would send down an army an extermination to ensure hell and its sinners could never rise against them. But Lilith's hope remained and her dream was passed down to their precious daughter the princess of hell.
End of Pov
Charlie: Don't worry mom, I'll make you proud.
Vaggie: Charlie.
Charlie: Dah?! Oh shit did you hear all of that?
Vaggie: Uh yea I was right there.
Fang: She's not the only one who heard it, that was some story you told.
Charlie: Fang you came.
Fang: I told you I would and that you needed some help so here I am. Did we disturb your privacy?
Charlie: Oh no not at all sorry I get pretty worked up after an extermination, the story helps.
Fang: This is the first time I am hearing about this extermination, how long has this been going on?
Vaggie: A very long time, every year Fang the angels come down to exterminate sinners in hell due to the over population.
Fang: No wonder Satan told me that heaven is filled crazy nut jobs.
Vaggie: Yea but anyway Charlie I enjoy your theatrics. Are you okay?
Charlie: I'm fine just..thinking you know family stuff.
Vaggie: Did you hear from your mom yet?
Charile: Sigh...no.
Fang: I feel bad for her that she never heard anything from her own mother.(Fang saids in thought)
Vaggie: How long has it been now?
Charlie: Not that long.
Fang: Charlie something tells me and Vaggie that is not true.
Charlie: Well....maybe seven years off doing something important I am sure but this kingdom was something she really cared about something I care about.
Vaggie: Well at least you aren't alone.
Fang: She's right, you got some friends who will stick by you even if some of them are morons and crazy nut jobs. Never stop believing in yourself Charlie, if this is what you mother wanted I am sure that you will fulfill her promise.
Charlie: That was beautiful Fang, thank you. I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work.
Vaggie: It will, I faith in you.
Fang: So do I.
Vaggie: All right come on, Alastor says he has something to show us.
When the three of them arrived in the room where they meet Alastor, both him and Fang stared at each other for a while until Fang smirked and so did Alastor.
Alastor: Hunter.
Fang: Alastor.
Alastor: Surprised of seeing you again though our last conversation was kind of oh do I put this.
Fang: Awkward that I told everyone about who you were in the human that caused you to faint.
Alastor: Hmm, I guess that is the answer.
Fang: Well then except this gift as an apology for exposing a deep secret about yourself. It's antique from the late 1920's, a musical radio still works and has all the classic songs from that era.
Alastor: I except your apology and it's been a long time since I had one of these back when I was alive. It will go nicely with my collection of radios.
Charlie: Well I see that you two are getting along but what is it that you wanted to show us Alastor?
Alastor: I am glad you asked my dear, please have a seat and prepare to be amazed.
Alastor turns on the television and soon both Charlie and Vaggie along with Fang watch a video broadcast created by Alastor himself to share the people of hell about the hotel.
Alastor's Commercial:
Why hello there you ward sitter do you like blood, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature of course you do that's why you are in hell. But what would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had none of that. Welcome to Hazbin Hotel! A misguided path to redemption founded by Lucifer's delusional daughter Charlotte Morningstar, come place your fate in her inexperienced hands as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you. Here we offer fun things such as somewhat functional staffs and 24-hour pest control, custom rooms and just look at this tacky baller. Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident..WOW! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel, your last desperate attempt to salvation starts here.
End of Commercial
Alastor: So what do you think?
Vaggie: I'm sorry what the fuck was that?
Fang: That was something you see out of a horror comedy film from the old days.
Charlie: Uh yea one note. Alastor I mean first off thank you so much for making this seriously amazing but um...maybe the tone is a bit off. We want people to want to come here, this makes it look um...
Vaggie: Bad. The word you are looking for is bad.
Alastor: Funny I was going for hilarious.
Vaggie: It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination which is the whole fucking point.
Charlie: Vaggie is right Alastor, the commercial was to let sinner know we are trying to help them.
Alastor: Well my dear, I haven't been activate in hell for some time and everyone remembers me from my radio show the proper medium to express oneself but you insisted on this noisy picture box of advertisement so I had a little fun with it.
Fang: He does has a point there, television wasn't a big thing in his time everyone always listens to the radio. Commercial broadcast were always done on radio before television was even invented. Basically speaking Alastor tried to do a television commercial but it didn't seem to his liking, he's more of a radio commercial kind of guy.
Alastor: The wolf is correct my dears. Like I said before I had a little fun with it.
Vaggie: Oh fun you had a little fun with it, well this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here you told us you would help run this hotel instead you are mocking us nobody's going to want to come to a place that a powerful Overlord like you think is a waste of time.
Angel: May I have a suggestion.
Vaggie: Sigh what?
Fang: Oh great the perverted spider-man is here.
Angel: I will take that as a compliment. If you're filming a commercial can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here.
Fang: Heh you a celebrity give me a break.
Vaggie: Angel you're a porn star.
Angel: A famous porn star, I'll have the horniest sinners knocking these walls down to get in.
Vaggie: We are not filming a porn as a commercial.
Angel: Why not? Sex sells don't it. I swear if you film me going at it with Mr.Fancy talk creepy voice here you'd be rolling in participants willing to stay at this tacky hotel.
Alastor: HAHA! Never going to happen.
Fang: At least I wasn't dragged into that conversation.(Fang saids in thought and disgusted with Angel's idea)
Charlie: Angel I appreciate you wanting to use your special skills to um attract folks to the hotel but I really don't want to exploit you in that way.
Angel: Oh please baby, this body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs, I got the lung capacity, oh hoho I got the legs! The gag reflex, the wholes, the chest pluff everyone thinks tits...
RING! RING!
Charlie: Oh hold that thought, I will be right back.(Charlie saids while taking a call from her father)
Angel: I can keep going all night baby!
Fang: How do you put up with this spider-pervert?
Vaggie: Argh...you don't want to know how long trust me you don't.
Fang: Good cause I don't want too.
Angel: Hey I have a question? If freaking face and big bad wolf over here are so powerful, why can't they both just make people stay here?
Fang: Sinners are afraid of me and they would just runaway if they piss me off. Trust me I am a lot more dangerous while in rage. How about you Alastor?
Alastor: Oh trust me I can...
Now now dear brother don't go showing off your sinister smile and antlers just yet.(A female voice saids in which Fang knows who it belong too)
Alastor: Sorry my dear sister I couldn't help myself.
Alice: It is quite all right brother, oh why hello again my dear Hellwolf pleasure to see you again.
Fang: Hello Alice.
Vaggie: Wait you two know each other?
Alastor: This is interesting hows it that you know my sister?
Fang: Well first I didn't know you had any siblings but after seeing her and her appearance I can already see a family resemblance. Also I met her at Ozzie's, she was performing a song got to say her music voice is not half bad.
Alice: Why thank you again Fang. It brings a smile to my face that someone else appreciates my adoring singing voice. But my brother is right about one thing he can make sinners come live here if he wanted too.
Husker: Why do you think I'm here? You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fucks moan all the time if he wasn't forcing me.
Niffty: I like being forced.
Husker: Keep that to yourself Niff.
Angel: What? You don't love being here with me whiskers.
Husker: Call me whiskers again and I'll jam that bottle down your throat or I will just have the wolf there do it the most deadliest way.
Fang: Second it.
Angel: Kinky! Come on keep talking dirty.
Vaggie: Sigh..Angel let Husk do his job and no we can't force sinners to stay here they need to choose to.
Ange: I choose to be here and I think it's all stupid. We're in hell tots, that's kind of the end of road ain't it.
Vaggie: Well maybe it doesn't have to be. Just because nobody has made it out before doesn't mean it's not possible.
Angel: Hey whatever means I can keep crashing here a rent free. Crack is expensive.
Fang didn't pay no mind to what the conversation was about but his ears caught on hearing Charlie who sounded excited and was screaming yes with such joy until she screamed both Fang and Vaggie's name.
Charlie: VAGGIE, FANG HOLLY SHIT!!
Vaggie: AH?! What?!
Charlie mumbles to both Vaggie and Fang to come over to her while she was smiling big at them.
Fang: Sigh lets go see what she wants .
Vaggie: All right Charlie, what is going on?
Charlie: My dad just called, he said that the leader of the angel army wants to meet he asked if I could go instead!
Fang: Say what now?
Vaggie: But..but the extermination just happened. What could they want this soon....
https://youtu.be/TqIcVCGrIn8
[CHARLIE:]
I can do this, somehow I know it
I'll get Heaven behind my plans
[VAGGIE:]
Charlie, hold on
[Fang:] When did this turn into a musical?
[CHARLIE:]
There's just no way I could blow it
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance
[VAGGIE:]
It's just a meeting
[CHARLIE:]
To change their mind and touch their hearts
Or whatever angels have
[VAGGIE:]
This could be bad
[CHARLIE:]
Cheer up, Vaggie
This could be swell
Something tells me that today will be a happy day in Hell
[VAGGIE:]
Okay, but just don't... sing to them
[ANGEL DUST:]
That bitch is halfway down the street
[VAGGIE:]
Is she...
[ANGEL DUST:]
Oh, she's dancin'
[VAGGIE:]
Ugh, no
[Fang:]
Sigh...I will go to make sure she doesn't get herself hurt or worse killed
[CHARLIE:]
There's a warm, fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air
Every street so revealing, it's hard not to stare
It's a realm so appealing, it beats anywhere
If you don't mind the smell
It's a happy day in Hell
[CHARLIE:]
Hi, mister!
[DEMON:]
Go fuck yourself!
[SINNER:]
There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul
[CHARLIE:]
Hello!
[IMP:]
Got a ton of barbed wire to shove in his hole
[CHARLIE:]
Oh, excuse me!
[EXECUTIONER:]
Doing what is required, we all have our role
[SINNER:]
I'm not doing well
[DEMONS:]
Another shitty day in Hell
[CHARLIE:]
If I can show them the dream I've dreamed
That any soul can change
[VAGGIE:]
Those angels' minds are hard to change
[CHARLIE:]
Then they will know everyone can be redeemed
From the evil to the strange
[VAGGIE:]
They're bloodthirsty and deranged!
[CHARLIE:]
I can hear all their stories, the lost and displaced
And I know that they're more of an acquired taste
But if I open the door and I give them a place
At my Hazbin Hotel
It'll be a happy day in Hell
[CHARLIE:]
From the porn studio, where the cinephiles go
To watch award-winning demon bukkake shows
To the Cannibal Town, where they don't wear a frown
'Cause holy shit, oh my gosh, why?
And I don't give a crow that his brains got in my eye!
'Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide
[CHARLIE (SINNERS):]
I can do this I just know it
(There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul)
I'll get Heaven behind my plan
There's just no way I could blow it
(I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole)
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance to change their minds...
[TRENCH COAT DEMON:]
And touch my parts
[CHARLIE:]
Uh, no thank you, I'm just gonna...
Fulfill my destiny!
[TRENCH COAT DEMON:]
Your loss, bitch
[CHARLIE:]
I can already tell
Today is gonna be a fuckin' happy day in Hell!
End of Song
After catching up to Charlie as well as punching and kicking followed by clawing some assholes later Fang arrived next to Charlie who was going into the building to meet with the leader of the angels.
Charlie: Hello? Hello? Helloooooo?
Fang: It's like a ghost town in here?
Charlie: Yea and kind of creepy.
Fang: I seen creepier.
Charlie went up to the desk and ranged the bell and the next thing she and Fang see was a golden paper with a signature and a feather pen.
Charlie: Okay also creepy.(Charlie saids while writing her name on the golden paper)
The doors then opened where both Fang and Charlie walked in and Charlie asked to see if anyone was around until the lights went on and in front of the princess of hell and the HellWolf were the leader of the angel army as well as an angel solider.
Sup!
Charlie: Whoah shit! Hi, I'm Charlie my dad asked me if I could meet you.
Angel Leader: Yea I know.
Charlie: Okay well it's nice to meet you.
Angel Leader: Totally nice to meet you too.
Fang: Charlie don't bother shaking his hand, he's a hologram.
Charlie: He is?
Fang: Yup watch.
Fang sticks his hand through the Angel leaders gut which showed that the person Charlie was speaking too was indeed a hologram.
Fang: See hologram. Not the real deal.
Angel Leader: Dang it man, you just ruined the moment.
Fang: Well sorry if I ruined it and don't offer me those ribs because they are hologram as well.
Angel Leader: Wow he's good for a wolf.
Fang: Why thank you.
Charlie: So wait, you aren't here?
Fang: He's an angel Charlie, you really think someone like this guy would come down to hellhole like this place.
Charlie: Oh..
Angel Leader: Ding ding we have a winner! I mean I love the vibe totally I love your tunes pretty fucking hardcore don't get me wrong but it's such a bummer man everything down there is just so you know eww.
Charlie: Riiight. So I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet, there's a project I've been working on that I really want to talk to you about.
Angel Leader: Hey hey hey slow down we got time. How about we get to know each other a little about some lunch hungry. I got you, here's my personal favorite you'll love it.
Charlie: Uh my friend already said that is a hologram so no thanks I'm good.
Angel Leader: Oh dang it! The moment got ruined again.
Fang: He's suppose to be the leader of the angels?(Fang saids in thought)
Meanwhile back at the hotel Vaggie was in charge and has gathered everyone for a meeting while Charlie and Fang are at speaking with the angels.
Vaggie: Okay so Charlie and Fang are dealing with something very important so while they are gone we are making a new commercial one that represents her vision and what we are doing here. So we need a camera, Alastor.
Alastor snaps his fingers and what appeared in Vaggie's hand was an old camera in which it wasn't what Vaggie wanted.
Vaggie: A video camera...
Alice: Don't be so down my brother, just do this just this once.
Alastor: Hmm very well.(Alastor saids and summons a video camera instead)
Vaggie: All right let's do this! All right Angel and Husker you're up and action!
Husker: Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. Can I help you with anything?
Angel: I've been a bad boy and I need a big strong daddy to put me in my place. On the path to redemption.
Husker: Ugh...well you come...
Angel: Oh yes!
Husker: To the right place...
Vaggie: Cut! Okay Angel I need you to be less horny if possible and Husk can you maybe not have the script in front of your face.
Husker: I ain't no actor?! I can't memorize this shit.
Angel: We could improv this shit baby cakes roar~Ow?!(Angel saids until he is pushed by Husker)
Husker: Whoops.
Vaggie: Husker come on.
Back with Charlie and Fang, the two of them were getting bored to death while listening to the angel leaders talk about stuff about him and his personal life.
Angel Leader: So I was playing this gig and for some reason this virtue chick was digging on the drummer and it's like do you know who I am? I'm fucking Adam I'm the original dick all dicks to de-send from me. You think you want drummer dick no way, I'm the dick fucking master so anyway we fucked and it was awesome . What did you do this weekend?
Charlie: Wait your name is Adam? Like the first man Adam, that means you ohhhhh that explains so much.
Adam: I know I fucking rock.
Fang: Whoah whoah time out your Adam like the Adam, like Adam and Eve.
Adam: The one and only.
Fang: Yea I don't see it.
Adam: Oh come on I'm really the Adam, what there is not to see?
Fang: Dude I seen Adam in books and you don't look anything like him because the person speaking to me right now is a guy that looks like an imp with wings whose is dressed for the opera.
Angel Soldier: Pfff.......
Adam: Did you just laugh?
Angel Solider: No sir I didn't.
Adam: Seriously why do people call me that?
Fang: Uh because you actually look like an imp I can tell by the horns and you even act like one.
Adam: Ugh...I knew I should have shorten the horns and whats wrong with my getup?
Fang: It kind of makes you look fat in that thing.
Adam: It does? Huh now that you mentioned it, this thing is kind of big on me.
Charlie: Well Adam sir Mr.Adam sir..
Adam: Call me Dick Master.
Fang: Seriously is this guy really your boss?(Fang whispers to the angel soldier)
Angel Soldier: I'm afraid so...
Fang: Geez.
Charlie: Adam, you seem like a smart...well stand up guy..
Adam: Uh-huh.
Charlie: And I know are the leader of the angels, a big thinker, a revolutionary, a a genius!
Adam: I mean your words babe.
Charlie: Who would really love to put his name on something .
Adam: I love putting my name on shit! Shit's the best!
Charlie: It's a solution to our biggest problem!
Adam: Oh herpes, yea that's a bitch.
Fang(Facepalm): This guy is a moron.(Fang saids in thought)
Charlie: No! Our other biggest problem.
Adam: Oh uh ugly people? Math? Global warming no wait that's earth's problem..ummm...
Fang: Geez this guy is more stupid than Adrien and the Akuma class.(Fang saids in thought)
Fang rolled his eyes and stepped out of the room for a while but not just him but the angel soldier as well. Both outside the meeting and needed a break from whatever Adam was talking about.
Fang: That guy is Adam?
Angel Soldier: The one and only like he said.
Fang: Really how could that guy or whatever he is, be Adam like the Adam in the books and bible.
Angel Soldier: Looks can be deceiving.
Fang: I can already tell by the way he is acting. He's a total jackass.
Angel Soldier: True but he is the first man to enter heaven it can't be helped.
Fang: Is he even a man? Because he does look like an imp.
Angel Soldier: He's wearing a mask over his face just like I am.(Angel Soldier saids then takes off her mask to reveal her real face)
Fang: So this is what you look like?
Angel Soldier: Yea what of it?
Fang: Nothing because I think you look very beautiful for an angel of course.
Angel Soldier: W..what?
Fang: If your going too ask if I saying if I am like those demons who are sick twisted perverts I am not, I treat women with respect I was born mature before I died. Fang Hunter is my name.
Angel Soldier: Wait aren't you that..
Fang: The human who was a victim to Lila Rossi, a total psychopath as well as killer yup that's me. I was a victim to her but I got my payback and took her out but I ended up dead in the hands of those idiotic police officers who took a liars side.(Fang saids while changing into his human form)
When the angel looked upon Fang in his human form she couldn't help but blush of the most handsome man she has ever seen even though he has become demon of hell she still couldn't believe someone this good looking was in place like this and he was even better looking than Adam.
Fang: Do you have a name?
Angel Soldier: Um....yea..I...I go by Lute.
Fang: Lute, cute name for a beautiful warrior angel such as yourself. Pleasure to meet you m'lady.(Fang saids and kisses Lute on the hand that made her whole face turn crimson)
Lute:(BA-DUMP!❤️)...I umm....why are you being nice to me...aren't your kind suppose to be evil?
Fang: I may be a demon now, but I still have the heart of human being and I treat those I trust with respect just like how I am treating you and not making a fool out of myself unlike a certain someone.
Lute: I guess the things about Fang Hunter are true, when I read about him, he grew up with a cared family who loved him until his lost both his parents but found love when made amazing friends who stood by him but lost his own life to a bitch who lies under her tongue. I don't understand why he is not in heaven.(Lute saids in thought)
Fang: Also if you want to know why I am not in heaven well thats because even though I had a good soul I did however killed someone so I guess that counts as being sent to hell even if my target was a bitch and a liar.
Lute: I guess that does make sense.
Fang: By the way the name exterminators doesn't really suite the name to describe you that well.
Lute: Then how do you see us?
Fang: Judging by your appearances and the dark outfits as well as the mask you all wear, why not just call yourselves Shadow Angels basically angels that work for the light but more in the dark without being seen.
Lute: That's...actually not a bad name. I kind of like it.
Fang: Best to get back inside to see what other drama your boss is going to start next. I will keep put conversation a secret until then.
Lute: Very well. But did you mean what you said to me about being beautiful.(Lute saids while blushing)
Fang: I was telling the truth about that and I never lie, I am always honest with others.
Lute hearts skipped a beat now after hearing those words in which she put her mask back on to avoid Fangs seeing her blushing face while he turned back into his HellWolf form and the two went back inside where Adam was talking to Charlie so more about random crap.
With Vaggie, she was in a hotel room with Angel as well as Niffty who was trying to kill a bug with a knife while Vaggie was trying to get her attention.
Niffty: Stab! Stab! Stab! Stab!
Vaggie: All right Niffty, Niffty..Niffty. Your line is we have the cleanest rooms okay.
Niffty: Got it! I'm ready.
Vaggie: Action!
The moment Niffty looked at the camera she made a weird and creepy face that made both Angel as well as Vaggie feel awkward as well as creeped out.
Angel: Okay this kid scares me more than Fang.(Angel saids in thought while backing away slowly)
Vaggie: Uh cut?
Niffty: How was that?
Vaggie: Well Niffty you actually need to say the line so let's role again.
Niffty: Okay!
Vaggie: Action.
Niffty did the same stare like before and Vaggie decided to stop the tape because this wasn't getting her anywhere.
Angel: You're doing great vagina.
Vaggie: Cut! All right uh maybe we can try to fix it in post.
Angel: Do you even know what that means?
Vaggie: I'll figure it out!
Hours later, Vaggie was down stairs trying to figure out what to do for the commercial but she was now struggling to put the pieces together.
Vaggie: Argh.....
Alastor: Seems like you're having a bit of trouble there hmm.
Vaggie: Why are you even here?
Alastor: For the entertainment, I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail specifically! Like you are doing now, good job.
Vaggie: And here is Alastor the egocentric piece of shit that....(Vaggie saids while video tapping Alastor until the camera got destroyed caused by the radio demon himself)
Alastor: I wouldn't try that my dear, this face was made for radio.
Vaggie: That's it! I don't care who or what you are, you're staying here you're going to make this work. Because it won't be so entertaining to watch over an empty hotel will it shit-ass!
Alastor: Fare enough. I'll tell you what, let's make a deal.
Vaggie: Do you think I'm that stupid making a deal with a demon like you?
Alastor: Not for your soul, just a simple deal. I do this for you and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again. Or Charlie can come back to absolutely nothing, your choice.
Vaggie: Sigh..fine.
Vaggie gives the video camera to Alastor who takes it and gets rid of it so that he can help out Vaggie with her commercial his own way.
Alastor: Now then.
Alastor summons lights, camera's and had everyone dressed in old fashion clothes as well as summoned shadow demons to help with the commercial set.
Vaggie: All right everyone lets make a fucking commercial.
In the meeting with Adam, both Fang and Charlie were almost about to fall asleep listening to this asshole of an angel talk his mouth up over and over in which was getting quite annoying really.
Adam: You know when you take her out for the fifth time and she still expects you to pay the check but you're like hey thought you wanted equality.
Charlie: No! Our shared problem of overpopulation in hell.
Adam: Ohhh that's not a problem, we got that covered. Lute how many demons did you kill this year?
Lute: Got a good 275 this year sir.
Adam: 275! Whoah badass! Awesome job danger tits pound it.
Charlie: Uh no..not awesome those are my people you know that right?
Adam: Oh yea, that must suck for you. Pfff...hahahahahahahaha!!
Fang: Yup this guy is an asshole.(Fang saids in thought while glaring at Adam)
Charlie: But these are souls..human souls just as the same as the ones you have up in heaven.
Adam: They are not same baby cakes they had their stupid chance and they earned damnation.
Charlie: You're wrong, sinners made mistakes sure but everyone makes mistakes.
Adam: Yes but here's the thing angels don't make mistakes.
Charlie: You sure about that?
Adam: Hey I am fucking Adam bitch, of course I know that. I never made a mistake in my entire life.
Fang: Heh I doubt that.
Adam: Listen the only reason your so called daddy-kins gave you and your hellborn kind a pardon from an exorcist blade how does that feel to know how little you matter.
Fang: I am about five seconds of ripping him to pieces.(Fang saids in thought)
Adam: Oh look that it would seem that we are almost out of time guess we should get into it.
Charlie: Oh fuck! I got a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't hearing me before so here it goes.
Fang: This is probably not going too end well.(Fang whispers to himself)
https://youtu.be/kMy8W0j-Slw
[CHARLIE:]
Okay, I've got a lot to get through, and not a lot of time
And I feel like you weren't hearing me before
So here it goes, ahem
I know Hell's population is out of control
It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll
If we rehab these sinners and cleanse all their souls
At my Hazbin Hotel, wait, I'm getting ahead of myself!
Right, extermination
I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year
And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here
If they join you in Heaven, that trip disappears!
You can wave that chore farewell
It'll be a happy day in He—
[ADAM:]
Let me stop you right there
[CHARLIE:]
Oh
[ADAM:]
Save us all precious time
[CHARLIE:]
Okay
[ADAM:]
If what you're suggesting is letting them climb
Up the ladder oh, they'd rather cross the Pearly Gates?
[CHARLIE:]
Well, um
[ADAM:]
Sorry sweetie, but there's no defyin' their fates
'Cause Hell is forever, whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better, now they boil in a pot
'Cause the rules are black and white
There's no use in tryin' to fight it
They're burnin' for their lives until we kill 'em again
[CHARLIE:]
Okay, but
[ADAM:]
Just try to chillax babe, you're wasting your breath
Did I hear you imply that they don't deserve death?
Are they winners? Are they sinners?
'Cause it's cut and dry
[CHARLIE:]
Well actually, if you take a look—
[ADAM:]
Fair is fair, an eye for an eye
[ADAM (ANGELS):]
And, when all's said and done (Said and done)
There's the question of fun
And for those of us with divine ordainment
Extermination is entertainment!
Bow-now-now-nownow, guitar solo, fuck yeah!
Oh, da-ah-ah now-now-n-now-n-now-n-now-n-nownownow
[CHARLIE:]
Oh my god...
[ADAM & ANGELS:]
Hell is forever, whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better
[CHARLIE:]
Where did all of you people come from?
[ADAM & ANGELS:]
Now they boil in a pot
'Cause the rules are black and white
There's no use in tryin' to fight it
They're burnin' for their lives until we kill 'em again
[ADAM:]
Fuckin', Hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot
So give up your dumb endeavor, 'cause you don't have a shot
Long as I got your attention
I guess I should probably mention
That we made the determination
To move up the next extermination
[CHARLIE:]
What?
[ADAM:]
Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts
I know it's just been a week, but we'll be back in six months!
End of Song
Charlie: Um, wait, didn't you...ugh shit!
Fang: I swear I am going to enjoy killing that bastard one way or another.(Fang saids in thought while glaring at how Adam the Adam is nothing more than 2 timing fuck face)
Charlie: Sigh....
Fang: Charlie.
Charlie: It's all my fault.....
Fang: No it isn't, it was that asshole Adam who started this, I should just find him and end him for good.
Charlie: No you don't need to do that but thanks for being here for me, thats all I want. Why couldn't they just listen.
Fang: Satan told me that people in heaven are filled with crackheads and nut jobs and Adam happens to be one of them. He doesn't give a shit of what goes on in the world, he only cares about himself nothing more. Come on I will take you back to the hotel.
Charlie: All right.....
Fang: Know this I will still help you carry out your dream that your mother wanted and who gives a shit what dickless Adam thinks he doesn't know anything if it bit him on the ass.
Charlie: You really think I can still do this.
Fang: Of course I do Charlie.
Charlie: Thank you for being my friend Fang.
Fang: My pleasure Charlie.
When they both arrived back at the hotel they were greeted by Vaggied who came up to Charlie and hugged her and want to hear what happened.
Vaggie: Charlie! How did it go? Did they listen?
Charlie: Oh uh they sure did...hear it but um...
Vaggie: Oh! Come here we got something exciting to show you.
Fang: What did you guys do?
Vaggie: Alastor pull some strings and it's about to air.
Alastor: I pulled a few limbs too hahahahaha!
Alice: So did I or maybe a few I lost count.
Charlie: Wait the commercial? You all made a new one.
Angel: Yea one of my better performances if I do say so myself.
Charlie: That's...that's amazing.
Angel: Shh! It's starting.
The commercial started for a second but then changed to the news station that left everyone except Alastor, Alice, and Fang in anger for seeing their recreated commercial gone.
Fang: Well that sucked.
666 News: Hello this Katie KillJoy with breaking news in hell today. we just have received word from the heaven embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before. Do you know what that means Tom?
Tom: No what does that mean Katie?
Katie: It means we're all royally fucked!
End of News
Angel: Wait what? Why?
Fang got a text messages from his girls as well as the others and they heard the news about the extermination and Fang knows that all hell is going to break loose and when it does Fang will do whatever it takes to defend those he cares about even if he has to take on an entire army of angels as well as that fuck face Adam.
Fang: Game on Adam. Game on.
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