Our story begins in IMP city, and in the new building is the home of the new IMP company. But what's going on in the meeting room? Let's take a look.

Blitz: Alright, I know business has been a little slow lately. ok, it's no one's fault. Ok, I'm not naming any names here. Josh. Josh gives him a "what the hell" look. Now, does anyone have any bright ideas on how we can get business drumming up again?

Rosie: What about a car wash?

Blitz: This is hell, Rosie. No one cares about cars getting clean here, okay? Oh, what about a billboard?

Stella: I'm not sure if that's a good idea, Blitz.

Blitz: helpful stella, glad you're in the room right now. Have ANY of U forgotten what service we provide?

Blitz turns on the TV, showing numerous kills him and his new employees have done.

Alastor: Now this is quality entertainment.

Blitz: Thank u, Alastor.

Octavia: I don't need any reminding, sir, consider u blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week, one that u additionally paid to run for a full 3 hours on a channel NOBODY WATCHES.

Blitz: Um, hey, excuse me. What's obnoxious about a super fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement spits bullshit.

Rosie: People love musicals, deary.

Blitz: Exactly, rosie. And we're basically doing a musical. R u gonna crush my musical theater dreams like my dad did?

Stolas: Did he really do that?

Blitz: he sure did. And right now, all I see is just my dad's ASSHOLE talking to me, crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside.

Alastor: R u trying to crush his dreams, octavia?

Octavia: I... what?

Alastor: naughty naughty.

Stella: HEY! No one disciplines octavia but me and stolas, u radio deer!

Alastor: Sorry, lady Stella, I couldn't help myself.

Blitz: I can't believe u, octavia. After I made u employee of the month.

Blitz shows a plaque of employee of the month with octavia's picture in it.

Octavia: OK, SIR! I'm sorry, a commercial jingle isn't exactly comparable to musical theater. Nobody actually likes the jingles.

Stolas: I liked it.

Stella: The lyrics could use some tweaking a little bit, but it'll do just fine.

Octavia: Mom, dad, do not... do NOT agree with him in front of me.

Wendy was looking at her phone, watching Josh get hurt in numerous ways.

Stolas and stella: CARE TO EXPLAIN THAT INCIDENT, IMP!?

Josh: I like to go on record and say that incident was Wendy's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the RIGHT info on the target. It's very simple.

Wendy: Oh, sit on a dick, Josh.

Josh: U SIT! Sit on.. a... a... di... DO YOUR JOB!

Blitz: HEY, now we don't blame our screwups on Wendy, ok? This cutie hellhound didn't do anything wrong. He snuggles on Wendy, and she snarls annoyed.

Josh: R u kidding me, sir!? She's awful.

Flashback number 1: Wendy was in the office reading a magazine when the phone rang.

Wendy: Hello, I M P.

Stella: Wendy, I got stabbed! Call stolas!

Wendy hangs up the phone, uninterested.

Flashback number 2: Blitz in the office with a present for Wendy.

Blitz: Happy adoption anniversary, Wendy! I got u a little something.

Wendy: Is it a cure for syphilis?

Blitz: i... oh...

Wendy: THEN I DON'T WANT IT!

Spiders came out of the present and swarms on Wendy.

Wendy: aaaugh!

Blitz: I'm sorry, it was Spiders.

Wendy: Goddammit.

Flashback number 3: Wendy and Josh in the break room and Josh holding a paper of weight loss.

Josh: Uh, excuse me, did u just fax me in an ad for weight loss?

Wendy: NO.

Josh: But, but why would anybody send me this?

Wendy: Come on, u know why.

Flashback number 4: Wendy in the break room rummaging through the fridge.

Wendy: Whoever left the fucking avocado salad in the fridge, I'm taking it, because I have the WORST hangover right now.

She proceeded to eat it as it was in liquor form.

Stella: Why would u drink on a work night?

Wendy: I'm hungover from this morning, Your Highness.

Josh comes in the room to find his lunch in Wendy's hands.

Josh: Isn't that my lunch?

Wendy: U know what!? I can't take this assault right now. I need to blow off some fucking steam! She kicks Josh out of her way and runs outside to kick a baby carriage off the hands of a succubus.

Flashback number 5: Wendy let's Blitz know that lucifer was calling.

Wendy: Blitz, the king of hell is on the phone, says it's urgent, and wants to talk to u. Sounds a little DTG-Y.

Blitz: OH, GOD, IT WAS 1 TIME! If I hadn't played poker with lucifer and his friends, I wouldn't have such an addiction.

Stolas was dumbfounded when he heard all that.

Stolas: u what?

Meanwhile, at lucifer's castle, Blitz was just leaving with the money he won from his time playing poker with lucifer and his friends.

Lucifer: That was a great game, Blitz. You're catching on. Well, we'll see u again some other time.

Blitz: No problem, lucifer. I'm looking forward to it. See ya next time.

He was getting off the balcony, but the bag was so heavy that he fell along with it. And lands on a cake, charlie and her hotel gang we having, splattering it all over them.

Blitz: Sorry, I gambled with your father.

Wendy: BLITZ!

Blitz: I HEARD U ALREADY!

Flashback number 6: Blitz was in his office, talking to lucifer, who was on the phone with him.

Blitz: So, what can I do u for this time, lucifer?

Lucifer: There's a political candidate causing trouble on earth for a few of my associates. He's trying to convince people that global warming exists.

Blitz: Doesn't it?

Lucifer: Well, yes, but more people DIE if nothing is done about it. And it gets lonely here.

Blitz: OK, well, yeah, that makes sense.

Lucifer: U know what happens when I'm lonely, right blitzo?

Blitz: Oh god-fucking-dammit.

Lucifer: When I'm lonely, I become greedy. And when I become greedy, I want to CHALLENGE U TO MORE POKER. REALLY CHALLENGE U SO U GET COCKY AND LOSE. B4 MAKING U GET CONFIDENT AND MAKING U LOSE TIL YOU'RE SCREAMING IN DEFEAT LIKE A FUCKING BABY!

Blitz was so terrified, that he hangs up, breaks his phone and blends it and has Wendy eat it.

Blitz: Eat this! And then u know that bridge over the freeway?

Wendy: Yeah?

Blitz: SHIT OFF IT!

We return to the present.

Blitz: LOOK, the point is, wendy is a valued member of our family, and we DON'T get rid of FAMILY.

Wendy was touched by Blitz's words as she smiled a bit.

Stella: For once, I agree. How about u, stolas?

Stolas: I agree as well.

Octavia: Yeah, I guess that's true.

Josh: we AREN'T a family, sir! U are the boss, WE are the employees. U treat HER like she's some troubled teenager! She's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman, u let let man the phones!

Wendy didn't care as she slowly flipped Josh off.

Blitz: That is offensive! Without homeless people, I wouldn't have HALF the joy and laughter I do in this life.

Cuts to a homeless demon with a sign saying: "Money, please, Satan bless." Blitz waves at him with a smug look in his face and closes the binds.

Octavia: While we're on the subject of family, can u STOP finding me and my parents outside of work?

Stolas: Aw, come on via, it's not that big a deal.

Stella: Um, I'm not too sure about that. It can be annoying sometimes.

Octavia: Thank u, mom. And dad: Excuse me... WHAT!?

Flashback number 1: the 3 were making dinner.

Stella: Stolas, can u get me the butter?

Stolas: I'm on it, sweetie.

Blitz was holding spoiled butter and gave it to stolas.

Blitz: Spoiler alert: the butters spoiled.

Stolas chuckles.

Stella: What's funny, honey?

Blitz: Really impressive wordplay.

Stella: Blitz, get out of there, that's not safe, u could catch a cold.

Octavia: WHAT THE... WHY ARE U IN OUR FRIDGE!?

Flashback number 2: Octavia was sleeping when she opened her eyes to see her boss in front of her.

Blitz: Whatcha dreaming about?

Octavia: I was dreaming of Uncle andrealphus being murdered. But now, I like to go back to that.

Flashback number 3: stolas and stella were singing a sing about Octavia being precious to them.

Stolas: Of all the kids in the goetia family.

Stolas and stella: it's for via that we love.

Stolas: Oh via.

The 3 embraced in a hug and noticed blitz with a camera.

Stolas: Oh, hello there, blitzy.

Stella: Um, is that even safe to do that without a ladder?

Octavia: R U FUCKING FILMING US RIGHT NOW!?

Cuts back to the present.

Octavia: JUST. STOP. DOING. THAT.

Blitz: I don't see what the issue is. Is there something u don't want me to see?

Octavia: NO!

Blitz: U know how to have a baby attitude with that anger?

Octavia: Sir, what u say and how u act is totally INAPPROPRIATE!!!

Stolas: Calm down via!

Stella: u heard your father, young lady! Calm down, or you'll get another panic attack.

Octavia: I AM CALM!

Stolas and stella comfort Octavia while she whimpers in anger.

Stolas: shh shh, there there.

Blitz: Look, I don't judge the royal family stuff u do outside work hours, so DON'T JUDGE ME.

Octavia: OH, I DO judge u, sir. Quite a lot, actually.

Stella: Young lady, he's our boss!

Blitz: No, no, no, it's fine, Stella. Your daughter is just being... how do I put this without being offensive... a whiny teenager.

Octavia: R u trying to immaturly insult me to make u feel better about your sad, single life?

Blitz: I won't be single for long.

Wendy: The only reason the girl is here is because she's a lousy heir to the birds throne.

Stella: While it's true she's a precautionary heir, BUT SHE'S NOT LOUSY, YOU BITCH!

Blitz: DO NOT TALK TO MY RECEPTIONIST THAT WAY, She's sensitive.

Wendy: YES, I AM!

Alastor: Now this is entertaining.

Everyone: WHO ASKED U!?

???: U guys are all fucking assholes.

Cuts to reveal Eddie on a hospital bed with stabilizers attached to his belly.

Blitz: Oh, shut up, kid, you're lucky to witness this!

Josh: Ugh, this company is such a mess.

Blitz: Alright, let's get back to talking about my outfit.

Wendy: Nobody was talking about that.

Blitz: That's why I'm trying to get that ball rolling. So, how does it look? It's good, right?

Alastor: Just as good as mine.

Stolas: I think it's dashing.

Stella: Hmm, it could be better without those cuts and holes.

Eddie: it's been a living hell having to pretend to be paralyzed, so u fuckshits wouldn't kill me. But now I want that. I want death! U are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm a kid. We're supposed to like clowns, even the creepy ones.

Josh: HEY, now, that's not very...

Eddie: If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit.

Stolas: HEY! Watch your mouth, young man!

Eddie: says the bird brain who curses a lot and not give a fuck.

Stella: THAT'S MY HUSBAND YOU'RE TALKING TO!!!

Eddie: laughs. THAT'S your husband!? I figured u for a shut, but I didn't know u needed dick THAT bad.

Octavia: DON'T TALK TO MY PARENTS THAT WAY!

Eddie: Who asked u!? You're just an annoying little brat who wants nothing with royalty.

That was enough to make Octavia cry, and her parents had to comfort her.

Rosie: Now that was unacceptable!

Eddie: says a woman whose people eat nothing but their own kind.

Alastor: THAT'S MY BESTIE YOU'RE TALKING TO!

Eddie: says the demon who HATES modern technology, get used to it, radio brain!

That made alastor PISSED OFF.

Eddie: AND U!

Wendy? What? What about me?

Eddie: Nothing, I don't talk to dogs, I'm a cat person.

The whole room was silent.

Blitz: Wow, u know, kid, u really r a piece of shit.

Everyone agrees as Wendy's phone vibrates.

Wendy: Oh fuck! Guys, I just got a text from our client. Guess he WAS the right target after all.

All: Who?

Wendy: Him.

Eddie: ME?

Wendy: Yep.

Blitz: They wanted us to kill an actual child?

Wendy: That's what they're saying.

Blitz: ... well, christ on a stick, I guess there is a God!

Blitz draws out his pistol and fires it, killing the boy.

Blitz (voice over): You know folks, with this new company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable of doing the same thing anyone else can, like killing people. So, from all of us here at the immediate murder professionals 2.0 group, we promise to settle your unfinished business, or your money is gone, and you're never getting it back, and u can write us a bad review, but we'll play dumb to it, because it's hell and NO ONE FUCKING CARES.

Blitz: You know, even though this kid was a target, he's still a child. And it's important we handle this going forward, respectively.

He says that as he wraps his tail around his friends and they smile along with him.

Eddie's mom: PLEASE, I'd anyone has seen my little Eddie. Please call us at... oh!

She received the bag of her dead son, and the cameras looked up to the portal, revealing a group of demons.

Blitz: You're welcome!

He says as they all move away from the portal and close it, ending the episode.

Author note: WOO! what a start this was! I wanted to make this story to see my own version of Helluva Boss after the story of rise to the top by morphmaster18 on fanfiction.net. app. He inspired me to make this story here, and I hope you'll enjoy it and they'll be more to come. See ya next chapter, everyone.