Spring broken
The scene starts with Blitzo and the crew driving their gray van along the street.
Blitzo: I love this song! ♫ You were a spicy little- uh- Demon with the- uh- bleach blonde haaaair! ♫
Loona was sitting in the passenger seat next to Blitzo, looking mildly annoyed at his singing. Moxxie covers his somehow non-existing ears in the back while Millie rolls down her window and smiles. Martin was listening to an audiobook. Y/N was sleeping in his baby carrier.
Here's what Martin looks like
Here's what he wears
Blitzo: ♫ Fieeendin' for that semen when I caught your stare... ♫
They drive into an old crowded parking lot.
Blitzo: ♫ Thooought it might be love, but you went--♫
A pink car pulls into the remaining parking space.
Blitzo: Oh, shit! Fu-
Blitzo slams onto the brakes and the van skids to a stop. Blitzo turns off the radio and glares at the person in the pink car. He glances at the license plate, which reads "SUCKS-4-LIFE".
Y/N's eyes widened and looked like he was gonna cry. He did. Martin immediately picked up his son and tried to calm him down.
Loona: Blitz! You just made Y/N cry! Not to mention could've sent him flying!
Loona gave Y/N his pacifier.
Blitzo: Don't look at me! It's whoever "sucks for life"!!
Blitzo pulls out a megaphone and yells into it.
Blitzo: Listen up, you unoriginal pink cum dump! You have three goddamn seconds to get your tits out of my parking spot!
The passenger steps out of her front car seat with high heels. Blitzo lowers the megaphone, shocked.
Blitzo: Oh, shit! Verosika!
Verosika blows a bubble of pink gum before it pops.
Verosika: Blitz-o.
Blitzo: I should have known you'd be here. I could smell fish for miles, which is odd. Because, I believe the nearest ocean is...
Blitzo falls and faceplants onto the ground before standing up.
Blitzo: ...three Rings DOWN!
Verosika: And I should have known you'd be here when I heard the Amber Alerts.
Blitzo: Oh, yeah? I'm surprised they let your fat ass outta rehab. I can see you're still a drunken whore, clutching onto that Beelzejuice bottle like it's the last cock in Hell!
Verosika flips her long hair back dramatically.
Verosika: They let me out because I'm still famous. And rehab is for sad, loser wash-ups.
Verosika takes a drink from her bottle and wipes her mouth with her thumb.
Verosika: So, your sister says "Hi".
Blitzo angrily steps in front of Verosika.
Blitzo: Why are you parkin' here?! This is the ONLY parking spot my company has! So take your tampon race car somewhere else!
Verosika: Actually, prick. It has my name on it.
Verosika points down to her name written in purple spray paint by their feet. I.M.P is crossed out on the ground.
Verosika: I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the infinitely more successful companies in the building...
Loona: No way...
Martin: Is that?
Verosika: ...and they wanted to have me come in this week to lead their team during spring break.
Blitzo: A WEEK?! No, no, you are NOT parking here for a fuckin' week!
Verosika: Awww, you mad, Blitz-o? You gonna run off, leaving someone else to pay for the hotel room, steal their car and run...
Blitzo and Verosika: ...run three rings to Wrath and max MY credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons?!
Blitzo: Goddamn it whore, you will NOT let that go!
Verosika: Choke on a sandpaper cock.
Verosika flips him the bird and walks away while Loona fearfully lowers her head in the van.
Blitzo follows Verosika.
Blitzo: HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I'm gonna...
A towering muscular Hellhound appears behind Blitzo and growls.
Hellhound: You'll what?
Blitzo: Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!
After a second of awkward silence, Verosika, Blitzo and the Hellhound laugh as if in a sitcom.
Verosika: Anyway, meet my new Hellhound, Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well.
Verosika leaves with her bodyguard. She glances over her shoulder as she flips Blitzo off.
Verosika: Ta-ta, fuck stain.
Blitzo: Ugh, I wasted so much time with a bag of holes like that.
Loona: You know Verosika Mayday?!
Martin: You slept with Verosika Mayday?!
Y/N: Bwa ba.
Blitzo: Huh...? Oh, yeah. Her, yeah. We dated.
Millie: Was it before or after she became a pop star?
Moxxie: You dated a pop star?!
Blitzo: Okay, why are you all acting like that's such a shock?
Y/N blew a raspberry.
Millie: You tell him!
Loona: It's Verosika Mayday?
Martin: It's you?
Moxxie: I just...Is she blind?? Suffering some form of brain damage?
Blitzo: Okay, look, you are all making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be. I don't pry into your stupid personal lives.
Moxxie: You do that all the time, sir!
Millie: Come on, you kinda do that.
Loona: You totally do that.
Martin: I've caught you watching us in our sleep.
Millie grins mischievously, eyelids lowering.
Millie: What was sex with her like?
Moxxie: Millie! There's a baby here!
Millie: Whaaaat?! It's a pop star! You'd wanna know what sex with Michael Crawford was like.
Moxxie:...Touché.
Blitzo: Okay, look, let's just drop it! Millie, j- find a temporary spot for that truck.
He tosses the keys to Millie, who gleefully catches them and runs to the driver's side.
Blitzo: Okay, Loonie, Moxxie, let's go handle this shit.
/////
The scene cuts to Loona, Martin, Moxxie and Blitzo stepping out of an elevator. Loona walks nervously forward. Martin was holding Y/N, who was sucking on his pacifier
Loona: Do you think they saw me? Fuck! I did my makeup shitty today!
Martin: I think you look pretty.
Y/N: Bap!
Blitzo smiles at her with shining eyes.
Blitzo: Oh, you look perfect, Loonie! Like always~. And your baby agrees.
Loona narrows her eyes and scowls.
Loona: Shut UP, da—
Blitzo looks at her with adoration on his face. Loona catches herself almost referring to Blitzo as "dad" and shoves him aside.
Loona: Urgh! Blitzo!
Loona checks her face in a handheld mirror, stepping over Blitzo before accidentally bumping into Vortex. She looks up in embarrassment.
Loona: Oof! Oh. Woah...
Vortex glances down at Loona. Blitzo smiles at Loona before he gasps in shock. Loona blushes and wags her tail. Blitzo then moves between Loona and Vortex, his arms out. Martins eye twitched in jealousy.
Blitzo: Hiiii, big man. Where's your bitch bag of an employer?
Vortex mentions to a nearby room with neon pink hearts over double doors. "V" and "M" are spray-painted on the door windows across from the I.M.P. office room.
Vortex: She's in her office. There wasn't room on the second floor, so they rented one here on this one. It's cheaper.
Blitzo: Oh, COME ON!
Vortex: Sorry, man.
Vortex walks away.
Blitzo: Oh, no you don't, bitch.
Martin: Blitz... how about you let me go in and try to talk to her?
Blitzo: Shoot.
Martin: Alrighty, then.
Martin pushes open the doors and goes inside, holding Y/N.
Martin: Hello, Verosika? Hi. Big fan. I work for I.M.P, and my boss really needs the parking space. Because if we can't have that space. We have to park a few blocks over. And that spot over there is a great place if we want to get mugged.
Coco: Aw, look at the little birdie. He's got a wittle baby!
Apple: Aww! Look at the baby! He's so cute! Can I hold him?
Martin: Umm...sure.
Apple immediately held the baby.
Apple: Aww! He's so cute!
Coco: Look at his little nose and pacifier!
Verosika: He's so adorable!
Verosika cooed and tickled Y/N's chin. Y/N giggled happily and cooed.
Coco: Aww! He likes you!
The attention showered upon Y/N seemed to only make the little demon prince more lively and engaged. Surrounded by Verosika, Coco, and Apple, Y/N's tiny features lit up with excitement. His bright eyes danced with delight as he basked in the warm coos and gentle tickles from the enchanted onlookers.
Coco: Look at those little cheeks!
Coco exclaimed, gently pinching Y/N's rosy cheek, eliciting a bubbly giggle from the baby.
Verosika, who couldn't resist the charm of such an adorable scene, leaned in closer, her voice soft and melodic.
Verosika: Oh, you're just the sweetest little thing, aren't you? Yes you are!
Her fingers expertly dancing along Y/N's chin, causing the baby to giggle and squirm with happiness.
Apple: He's just perfect. Those big eyes, just looking around and taking everything in!
Apple held Y/N carefully, her arms providing a secure, warm cradle. Y/N reached up with a small hand, trying to grasp at the air.
Verosika: What's his name?
Martin: Y/N Bryce Goetia.
Verosika: Well he's adorable! And his daddy's not bad looking either~.
Martin: Thank you, I guess?
Verosika winked, her smile suggesting she enjoyed the slight discomfort her flirtations caused, and turned her attention back to baby Y/N, who remained blissfully unaware of the adult banter. Her fingers gently caressed the baby's hand, causing him to grasp her finger with an adorable strength.
Verosika: Such a strong grip for a little guy.
Josh: Want a kissy, birdie?
Martin: A kind offer, but... I'm in a committed relationship.
Kiki: Aww~. You don't like us~
Martin: I'm in a-.
The gang of demons surround Martin. All except Apple, who was cooing and looking at Y/N.
Verosika: Hey... why don't you send a little message from me back to your limp-dick... boss?
The demon silhouettes bare their fangs over Martin to sexually assault him.
Martin: Don't touch that! Please! Not in front of my baby!
Y/N (Thoughts): I think I could use a little culture in my life. I've seen what you, mommy, and grandpa put on the picture box.
/////
Flashback.
Loona and Martin are sleeping on the couch as Y/N's laying back on a mat as the TV's on.
Boy: Help me!! Someone help me! Ahhhh!
Y/N (Thoughts): That Tiger man is shoving they other man into a sawmill! How ghastly!
/////
Blitzo and Loona race and presses their hands against the window.
Blitzo: Martin, don't let her access any of your holes!
Loona: I'm gonna rip them to shreds!
Moxxie: Wait! They out number you!
Blitzo: Never underestimate the power of a protective girlfriend and mother! But your not wrong
Loona's gaze sharpened as she watched Apple cuddle and coo with Y/N. Her arms crossed tightly over her chest, and her foot tapped impatiently on the ground, a clear sign of her growing discomfort with the situation.
With her arms crossed and a faint scowl on her face, Loona's usual icy demeanor was tinged with a visible edge of jealousy and discomfort. It wasn't just the attention Y/N was receiving; it was also the light-hearted banter directed at Martin that seemed to unnerve her more than she wanted to admit.
Finally, Loona prepared to storm over, possibly to snatch Y/N and Martin back into her own arms and perhaps throw a claw at Verosika for good measure.
Loona: I'm going in! I think they've had enough excitement for now!
Blitzo: I'm not letting my daughter get sexually harassed by a bunch of bitches! Plus, Y/N's totally safe!
Loona: Not helping!!
Martin then back into the hall, panting with his back against the door. He walks to them, battered and shaken with red lipstick kisses all over his face, and his clothes ripped.
Martin: I... I gotta go lie down... now.
Martin falls face-first onto Loona's chest.
Loona: Where's Y/N?
Martin: Damn it! He's still in there!
Blitzo: Oh, this won't STAND!
Blitzo kicks both doors open, causing Verosika and her gang to notice. Loona came in with Martin.
Loona: Okay, I think that's enough baby time for everyone!
Loona picked up her baby from Apples arms.
Loona: If there's one person who holds my baby, and drains my boyfriend, it's me!
Loona left. Y/N cooed and waved bye.
Apple: Bye!!! Aww...I wanna have a baby!
Blitzo stomps toward Verosika.
Blitzo: If you're gonna be shitty to my employees, then I challenge you to a fuckin'... challenge!Fuck, I said that twice.
Kiki: Mmmm... Is this imp boy starting a demon duel?
Verosika: I think he is!
Verosika leans in toward Blitzo.
Verosika: What's the game then, Blitz-o?
Blitzo: Every year, you STD spreaders go up topside for easy pickin's while spring break is a prime time for crime of all kinds! So I bet... you succu-bitches can't fuck as many people as we can off by the end of the day.
The succubi laugh. Blitzo glares in determination. They stop laughing.
Verosika: Oh, you're serious?
She leans in close to Blitzo's face, speaking in a low whisper
Verosika: Game on... bitch.
////
Later at I.M.P Headquarters, Blitzo stands in front of the whiteboard. Behind him is an easel with drawings on papers. The other I.M.P members sit at a table and listen.
Blitzo: Alright, shut your assholes! Here's how we're gonna do this shit! First, we find a fuck ton of clients.
The animated drawings on the paper show Blitzo, Loona, Y/N, Martin, Millie and Moxxie standing together. A bunch of imps and clients surround them with bags of money.
Blitzo: We portal up.
Blitzo drawing snaps his fingers. The I.M.P figures fall down.
Blitzo: We have our fun murder time as per usual.
The I.M.P drawings kill off human drawings with guns, with Y/N cheering them on.
Blitzo: We pile all the bodies into a big fuckin' canoe.
The human bodies are tossed into a canoe that reads "S.S. Cum Gutter".
Blitzo: We push said canoe into some water.
Blitzo drawing kicks the canoe full of bodies away from the dock.
Blitzo: We light it on fire to attract the sharks and eagles 'n shit. Maybe a goose, too! Fuck it!
Animated drawings of sharks, snakes, eagles and creatures eat the bodies set on fire in the canoe. A large octopus chomps the entire ship and the animals.
Blitzo: They come and eat the bodies, we win the bet...
The I.M.P drawings cheer and the Loona figure wears a party hat.
Blitzo: We rub it in that sloppy bitch's drunken whore-ass face...
The I.M.P. members give a Verosika drawing several middle fingers. The Verosika drawing bursts into tears. The scene cuts back to the meeting.
Blitzo: Do you have... any questions?
Moxxie: Uh, yeah. Why was that nonsense?
Blitzo: That wasn't a question. And Y/N liked it.
Loona was holding Y/N and tickling his chin.
Moxxie: That wasn't a plan.
Blitzo: I'm sorry, but that was a flawless presentation of what we should do, Mox. It's not my fault you got a smooth little brain upstairs.
Moxxie: A what now?
Blitzo: I'm callin' ya slow, Moxxie. God, why don't you learn to take criticism, you talentless baby dicked troll?!
Moxxie: Well, why don't you take an art class?
Blitzo: Why don't you see how EXPENSIVE they are?!
Loona: Hey, is there a way I can come with you guys this time?
Blitzo: Absolutely not, I forbid it. Not gonna happen. Sorry, sweetie. Spring break is no place for young, vulnerable goth girls. You know the kind of FREAKS up there who'd drool all over you!
Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona simultaneously break the fourth wall by glaring disapprovingly at the camera.
Martin: What? What are we looking at?
Y/N: Coo?
Loona: Well, I can blend in with humans easy enough. Just let me tag along.
Blitzo: Wait, say that again.
Loona: I can... blend in...?
Loona shrugs as she inquisitively tells Blitzo that she can disguise herself.
Millie: Do you have a human disguise?
Loona: Yeah. Don't you?
The imps nervously look at each other, eyes side to side.
Loona: You three have been screwing around on Earth this whole fucking time... without human disguises?!
Martin: I've been using mine.
Blitzo: Okay, new plan!
Blitzo quickly scribbles on a piece of paper and hangs it on the easel. It shows Loona surrounded by humans with hearts around them.
Blitzo: Loonie can help lure the humans to us, and we'll take care of the rest. Okay, how about that?
Millie: Flawless logic.
Moxxie: I think you're missing the biggest issue, sir. Isn't it crucial to have a client who demands enough kills to win this bet? We aren't just going up to massacre!
Blitzo: I got that covered, Mox.
/////
Later, Blitzo puts up a ratty flyer reading "Spring Break Victim, 50% Off!" with drawings of Blitzo, a dead victim and horses. Blitzo walks to Moxxie.
Blitzo: Now... we wait.
Moxxie: Sir... there is no way we are going to get enough clients by the end of the day with one poorly spelled, bad grammar flyer!
Moxxie and Blitzo look to see demons lining up, including Travis, looking at the flyer. Blitzo grins smugly and elbows Moxxie. Blitzo strolls toward the other demons.
Blitzo: Now, who's first?
/////
People happily walk around, relax and talk on the beach. Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Martin, Y/N and Loona hide behind coral-covered rocks under a dock.
Blitzo: Now, remember, we can't be seen, alright? And loose shots will likely cause a panic, so Loona can help with leading targets to a better spot to off 'em. You got the list, Loonie?
Loona skims a long list in her hands and gives it a sniff.
Loona: Got it.
Loona stands up and in a swirling flash of blue light, she transforms into a human version of herself. The imps stare in shock.
Blitzo: Ohhhhh, Loonie, look at you. You look...downright awful!
Loona glares at Blitzo. Martin couldn't help but stare in awe. Despite Blitzo's humorous jab, to Martin, Loona looked nothing short of stunning.
Martin: Loona, you... you look... hot.
Meanwhile, baby Y/N, nestled in his father's arms, reacted quite differently. His little face crumpled into a frown as his tiny brows furrowed, his usual recognition of his mother's features and scent disrupted by the transformation. A whimper escaped him, quickly escalating into a full-blown wail.
Martin, balancing his reaction between his admiration for Loona and his concern for Y/N, shifted the baby gently in his arms, trying to soothe him. Blitzo tried to help.
Blitzo: Shh, it's okay, little guy. That's still Mommy, see? She just looks a little different right now.
Blitzo picked up Y/N and moved closer to Loona, allowing Y/N to get a better look at her, hoping that his grandson could pick up on something familiar about her despite the changes.
Blitzo: Look, Y/N, it's Mom. Can you say 'hi' to Mommy?
Y/N continued to sniffle, his small hands reaching out uncertainly towards Loona.
Loona, noticing her son's distress, softened immediately. She leaned in closer.
Loona: Hey, sweetie, it's me, it's Momma. Mommy just looks a little different right now, that's all.
Y/N's eyes widened as he recognized the familiar warmth in her voice, his uncertainty giving way to relief as he reached out to grab her finger, clinging to it tightly as if seeking reassurance. Loona smiled down at him, her heart swelling with love and gratitude for her son. She kissed his forehead.
Blitzo: I am so proud. Now, fetch!
Loona peers in front of her, her target humans outlined in red in her vision. Loona smirks and strolls over to a tall man wearing sunglasses. She moves a finger toward his chest and gives him a flirtatious grin. She motions behind her and to a private alleyway. Loona leads him into the alleyway and leans against the wall. The man reaches out to grab her in lust but is shot in the head by Blitzo spying on the roof. He gives Loona a thumbs up.
In the next shot, a blonde man runs to her in an alleyway with a hungry lustful look on his face. He is caught in a noose by Blitzo. On a rooftop, a brown haired man leans in to kiss Loona, but Millie knocks him off the roof with a kick. The man falls into a dumpster that Moxxie slams shut. Loona walks with a fat man down the sidewalk and a flower pot crashes into his head. Blitzo kills a woman with a knife, Millie kills a white haired woman with a spiked baseball bat, another woman gets shot in the head.
Blitzo and the gang put the bodies in bloodstained dark trash bags, closing them. In the background, Millie jumps on another body. Y/N was in a playpen. Playing with Wilkins and Wotkins.
Blitzo: That's nine kills in the bag! I like to see that waily snatch orgasm that many--
Verosika: Alright, spring breakers! Y'all ready to get fucked up and make some BITCHIN' BAD CHOICES?!
The audience cheers. A fan boy rips his shirt that has her name written on his chest.
Fan boy: Verosika!
Verosika: This is your final boarding call. All aboard~
Verosika launches into "Vacay to Bonetown". "Fuck you Blitzo" appears on the screens. Blitzo growls like a rabid animal, foaming at the mouth.
[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]
Blitzo: God DAMMIT! That bitch started her goadish mating call! Now, she's gonna win all these sex maniacs! We gotta pick things up, guys!
A vomiting blonde man is seen next to Blitzo. Martin points to a vomiting man
Martin: He on the list, Loonie?
Loona: Huh? Yeah... I- I think so.
A distracted Loona looks at Vortex guarding the stage.
Blitzo: Good!
Blitzo takes out a red and black axe.
Blonde man: Oh, whoa! What are you? A leprechaun? L
Blitzo: Yeah... pretty cool, huh?
Blitzo cleaves his head in half with the axe.
Blitzo: But you sure as shit ain't gonna tell nobody! Alright, next one Loonie, c'mon! Loonie? Wait, where--...?
Blitzo glances around to find Loona nowhere in sight. Her outline flashes. He panics.
Blitzo: Wha-- Wha-- Wh--WHERE'S MY BABYYYYYY?!?!
Y/N: Bap!
Blitzo: Y/N! Where's your mommy?
Millie: Look!
Loona is seen walking towards Vortex. Blitzo notices, and his fatherly dread quickly turns to seething anger. Martin got jealous. Loona checks her makeup as two men French kissing fall to the ground at her feet, and someone offscreen throws their bikini top which lands on Loona's head.
The fanboy runs toward Verosika on stage as she sings the next chorus in "Vacay to Bonetown" but Vortex notices and punches him into the ground, head first. He drags the man away in the distance. Loona walks over toward Vortex, avoiding a French-kissing couple and tossing aside a bra, but is stopped by Josh, who smirks at her, eyebrows raised. She backhands him hard.
Verosika: Now, who wants a piece of this?!
Verosika tosses her Beelzejuice bottle into the ocean, creating a golden spillage. A catfish appears, which rapidly grows into a monster.
Loona walks over nervously toward Vortex.
Loona: Heyyyy... you...!
Vortex: Oh, hey. You're the hound workin' for my boss's freaky ex. And dating the bird guy?
Loona: Yeah. Sorry if that's weird.
Vortex: It's cool. Her beef ain't mine. I'm not paid enough to care.
Loona: Yeah! Yeah. I'm Loona!
Vortex: Okay. I'm Vortex!
Loona: That's hot... I mean, like, literally, y'know, 'cause vortexes... y'know, they give off heat. Probably. Right?
Vortex: Uh, yeah. I guess, but my friends call me Tex.
Loona: Oh, yeah? I wish I had friends. I mean... No, I mean, I don't... I... I don't have friends. Well, Martins my friend. Boyfriend.
Vortex: Oh? You that baby's mommy?
Loona: Ya.
Blitzo and Martin arrives and stands between them.
Blitzo: Are we... interrupting something?
Vortex: Nah, man. Just having a conversation.
Martin took a breath of relief.
Blitzo: "Conversation" leads to HPV!
/////
Moxxie and Millie hide behind metal barrels.
Moxxie: And... we've lost him. It's looking like it's up to us handle this list.
Millie: Hell yeah! Team M and M, gettin' shit done, makin' the moneys!
Moxxie and Millie run off in the sunset and kill more people starting with the ice cream shop before jumping over the rooftop to kill some more.
/////
Loona: Blitzo, get the fuck out of here! You're gonna get us all into shit!
Blitzo: I just wanted to see what was so important that you'd be distracted from your job.
Loona: What, I can't have a break?
Blitzo: We have a parking spot on the line!
Vortex: Hey, dude. Why don't you chill out?
Blitzo: Why don't you stay out of it?! Okay, this is our business!
Blitzo holds up a drawing with his tail that shows a diagram of himself killing a human equaling money and earning money equaling a horse.
Martin couldn't suppress a small chuckle at the absurdity of it all.
Blitzo: Literally!
Loona: Fuck, Blitzo! Why can't you stay out of my face for, like, five minutes?!
Blitzo: Because, I adopted you! And that should mean something! And I'm Y/N's grandpa!
Loona: Oh, what does it matter?! You're not my real dad! I was almost eighteen! Your not even Y/N's grandpa.
Blitzo: It still counts!
Loona: Well, it shouldn't! I didn't need you then, asshole! I don't, now!
Martin stepped back slowly and uncomfortably.
/////
Millie and Moxxie hides behind a table with steel barrels of beer. Millie loads a crossbow for Moxxie to take it. He peeks over and prepares to shoot when a human man comes over and throws the beer can down.
Skool: Wooo! Yeah! Party! Let's do thiiiss!
Skool knocks the cans aside, sending Moxxie and Millie into the air. Moxxie lands in front of dozens of people. A woman points at Moxxie in disgust.
Woman: Eggggh! Oh my god, it's a fucking possum!
Moxxie: Oh, crumbs!
Moxxie tries to get away, but one of the partygoers catches him by the tail.
Skool: I got it!
Skool picks up Moxxie and shoves him into a barrel of beer. The group cheer about "beer possum" as they take turns volleying the barrel away. Moxxie drinks the beer inside and gets drunk.
Skool: Beer possum! Beer possum!
Partygoer: Get ready to get fucked up!
Partygoer: Ready to get fuuucked!
/////
Loona tries to say something to the upset Blitzo, who crosses his arms.
Loona: Uh... Blitzo... I'm-
Blitzo: Enjoy your break, Loonie. I'm gonna go kill something!
Loona: Ugggh...
Vortex: Damn, girl. That was savage. You okay?
Loona: Yeah, I'm fine. He'll get over it. He always does.
Vortex: I'm glad you could stick up for yourself, at least. Mmm! Takes guts. Bird boys lucky to have you, and your kids lucky to have you.
Loona: Thanks.
Martin: Wait. Who's watching Y/N?
/////
Millie runs behind a few stacks of beer kegs toward a wobbling barrel. She opens it and the barrel tips over. Moxxie burps as the beer spills out onto the ground.
Millie: Moxxie!
Moxxie: Millieee! Hiiii! Hey. Hey, when did you get four heads? I wanna kiss 'em.
Millie picks up the drunken Moxxie. The fish monster emerges from the ocean. The humans and the succubus saw the monster. The monster crushes a relaxing human, sending blood everywhere. The humans scream and run away. Blitzo looks at the monster as he finishes choking another man. The fish monster roars. Martin ran and grabbed Y/N. Before the monster picked up him and Y/N. The baby cooed and sucked on his pacifier.
Blitzo: Ah!!! My grand baby!!!
Moxxie: Ooooh! Fish.
The monster wraps its tongue around Moxxie, and then Y/N, pulls them closer and closes its mouth.
Y/N: Coo?
Loona: Blitz! Do something? Can't you shoot it?!
Blitzo: I can't! I might hit Y/N, Martin or Mox!
The monster roared, before Apple threw a spear at it. Pinning its tongue to its body.
Apple: I have a soft spot for babies.
Loona spots a spring breaker with a cocktail and kills him with a knife. She lights a cloth on fire and tosses a Molotov cocktail at the fish. The fish loses balance and falls down. Loona rushes into the ocean and slices up the fish's body with her knife. She grabs Y/N, Martin, and Moxxie, who briefly gives her a high five. She grabs hold of them and slices the tongue. Moxxie smiles, closes his eyes and spreads his arms as he flies. He lands into Blitzo's arms. A human man celebrates after avoiding getting hit from the tongue, but Blitzo kills him with his flintlock out of annoyance. Moxxie laughs hysterically.
Inside of the monster's mouth, Loons punches the tongue as the monster spits her out as Millie starts wrestling with it.
Martin: I love her~
Blitzo: Oh, she totally pegs you, doesn't she?
Martin: Who blabbed?!?
Loona leaps into the air with her knife and lands inside the monster. She slices off his stomach from the inside before tiredly making her way back to shore.
Loona: Don't. Touch. My. Baby!
Blitzo: Ohhhh, yeah, way to show off, Loonie!
Millie: Is Mox okay?
Blitzo: Oh, yeah. He's fine.
Millie holds Moxxie in her arms as Moxxie grins with a doped expression.
Moxxie: Thiiiis is funny. I'm sooooo... drinky.
Millie hugs Moxxie, happily laughing.
Loona ran to her boyfriend and son. She kissed Martin, then hugged her baby.
Loona: Mommy's got you!
Blitzo: Ooookay, this is too wholesome for my liking.
Verosika: Blitz-o.
Blitzo: Oh, perfect. That must be the whores!
Verosika: That was handled rather... obvious... Don't you think?
Millie: I don't think this belonged to any of us.
Millie tosses the flask back to Verosika, who catches it, then drop-passes it to Milky.
Millie: Would be a shame if anyone found out you guys were behind a giant monster fish in the human world.
Moxxie: Oh, Satan! You're gonna be so... FUUUUCKED!
Verosika: Yeah, well... you three nasty-ass gremlins will be in shit for not being in disguises!
Moxxie: A human called me a possum. I am not a *possum!
Blitzo: Y'know, we could keep this little B-movie scene on the down low if you agree to let us use that parking space.
Verosika: ...Fine.
Blitzo: WE FUCKIN' WOOOOOOON!!!
Millie: Fuck YEAH!
Blitzo: IN YOUR FACE, BIIIITCH!
Verosika: Come on, let's get out of here. Tex!
Vortex: Well... guess it's time to bounce. But, hey, Loona, if you're ever down to party, I'll give you a ring sometime. You too, Martin.
Loona: Really? I mean, heh...yeah. Yeah.
Vortex: Yeah! My girlfriend throws a ton of crazy hound parties.
As Vortex mentions his girlfriend, Loona's expression shifts into dejection.
Loona: Nice. Can't wait for my first one.
Vortex: Let's get you some friends, girl.
Martin: Hey!
Y/N: Bap!
Vortex: Friends who aren't her boyfriend, or baby.
Vortex gives her a playful punch before following Verosika. Loona looks downcast at seeing Vortex leave and being reminded of her confrontation with Blitzo as well as the reveal her crush already has a partner.
Blitzo: Come on, Loonie Tooney! Let's go back and park our fat fuckin' car in our fat fuckin' space!
I.M.P go through the portal. Loona falls through the portal backwards whine holding Y/N. Martin followed.
Blitzo jumps up and mockingly flips the double bird through the portal, making Verosika growl in anger and her eye twitch.
Verosika and her gang huddle together in fear as the police, a clown, and a mine robot surround them, guns pointed.
Police: PUT YOUR HANDS UP, YOU SICK DEVIANTS!
Verosika: Alright, sluts. Get ready to suck a lot of pig dick.
Her gang all sigh and groan in disgust as they raise their hands in defeat.
Y/N's voiced by Johnny Depp.
Martin is voiced by Ben Schwartz.
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