My deepest apologies for not updating this in a while. I had a bit of writers block and my brain doesn't always process ideas at the proper time and speed, so sometimes I have ideas for shit when I'm at work or otherwise unable to work on this only to forget them the moment I get my break or get back home.

Y/N groaned as he bent over the ledge of whatever building they were on top of, puking his guts out. Seras was busy rubbing his back, trying to get him to stop. Integra had her eyes locked on Millennium's traitorous minion with incredible scrutiny, which only caused the cat-girl to shrink in on herself out of fear and self-loathing. When the vomiting stopped, Y/N stood up and just looked over at Schrödinger before a giant blimp floated over the skyline.

"How in the hell did he hide that thing? Better yet, why is everything slightly... different?" Seras asked, looking towards Schrödinger. The cat-girl lowered her head.

"Well, I'm pretty sure it's because of what I am. My powers are kind of like the theory of Schrödinger's Cat. I'm alive and dead, everywhere and nowhere when no one is looking. So long as I'm not being 'perceived' I can change myself or even reality around me, anything from my form, location, or what I sound and smell like. So, recently, I started trying to expand what I can do and hopefully make up for my..." Schrödinger explained, trailing off. Y/N nodded, sighing.

"No wonder you always seem to smell like campfire smoke and gunpowder... And why your tits kept growing the entire time you were with us," he said, rubbing his eyes. Schrödinger's face lit up bright red with embarrassment. Seras grumbled angrily under her breath about how difficult it was to keep her figure when she was alive. The werewolf looked down and back up at the zeppelin. 

"Then lets regroup and find out how to take that bitch down. Ugh, this raging headache is pissing me off..." Y/N growled. He looked back out at the battle raging.

'Turns out Alucard was actually Dracula. Who'd have guessed? My sarcasm should be transcending dimensions right about now. And Anderson got Maxwell killed, thank fuck,' Y/N thought to himself.

"Why are we up here anyway? You guys just like standing around with your thumbs up your asses?" Y/N asked, glancing back at the three 'friends' of his.

"Um, lets just go down and meet up with him," Integra suggested, rather taken aback and annoyed with the wording.

"I know you're the boss and all, but we've been up here for half an hour while Aluc- sorry, Dracula, the first fuck-mothering vampire- does most of the work," the werewolf said snarkily. Integra sighed, snapping her fingers. Seras nodded and smacked him across the back of the head.

"OW! What the hell was that for, ya blonde bimbo?!" he asked, only for Seras to blush and look away.

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't call me that in public~," she teased, causing Schrödinger to vibrate angrily while Y/N just groaned in displeasure and pain.

"Well, so much for that headache going away any time soon. Lets regroup with Alucard and figure out how to drop that bastard out of the sky. Seras, grab the boss and lets just go..." Seras chuckled as they leapt down to join Alucard now that he had cleared out pretty much everything. The four of them jumped down and regrouped with Alucard/Dracula and were officially introduced.

"I don't believe we've ever formally met. I am Count Dracula. Please, call me Drac."

"We're not calling you that," Y/N said with a deadpan expression. Dracula turned to him and smiled.

"It feels SO weird for you to be smiling at me with this much wholesome energy..." the werewolf said, only for Dracula to offer a hand. Y/N took it and they shook hands like men. Gentlemen.

"Um, hi, master! It's me! Y-You know, the police girl-" Seras cut herself off as Dracula began to pat her head.

"Ah, good. It warms this undead heart of mine to see you, Seras Victoria." Upon hearing those words, Seras looked over at Y/N and smiled.

"He used my name!" she said excitedly. Y/N just hummed, unsure how to feel about what he just saw. Just as he was about to make a comment about how they were getting distracted, Dracula parried a bayonet as a familiar Irish accent called out Alucard's name.

"AH MOTHER FUCK-" Y/N began, starting to get a little pissed off.

"Alucard is not here right now. You face Count Dracula of Wallachia," the first vampire corrected. Anderson positioned a pair of bayonets to form a rudimentary cross, glaring at his foe.

"CALL YOURSELF WHATEVER YA WANT, YA CRAZY VAMPIRE BASTARD! I'M HERE TO CLEANSE THE EARTH OF YOUR FILTH ONCE AND FOR ALL!" he yelled, greatly aggravating Y/N's headache.

"Many have tried and failed. Yet, if it is my fate to fall to your blade, then let it be so... worthy opponent." The air was tense with anticipation before Anderson cut through the atmosphere with a rather boring sentiment.

"Time the fuck out. If we're doing this, AND WE ARE DOING THIS, then I'm not gonna come swinging at Dracula. I'M KILLIN' ALUCARD!"

"You do know that's just my name spelled backwards-" Anderson's impatience won out as he cut off the first vampire and threw three bayonets at Dracula.

"Very well. If you insist..." Dracula sighed, throwing his cloak up as several shots cut down the flying blades and blew apart Anderson's hand.

"Hey Padre, how's little Timmy? Know what's good for getting cum stains out of alter boy robes? HOLY WATER! Didja miss me?!" Alucard asked, sounding excited to fight.

"CAN WE FUCKING PAUSE?!" Y/N shouted, startling everyone. Seras was the one most concerned as it looked like he had a pretty heavy nosebleed.

"We've got bigger shit to deal with and you two want to fight?! TAKE OUT THE LITERAL NAZI VAMPIRES FIRST BEFORE YOU GO CRUSADING AGAINST EACH OTHER!" Anderson looked down for a moment before acknowledging his words. Alucard, however, pointed out the blood.

"You got a little something on your face there," he said, as Y/N wiped his nose. His hand was covered in blood. His vision became blurry, a nauseating feeling spread throughout his stomach, and the sounds around him became muffled. He coughed violently, holding his nose to stop the bleeding. A loud laughing rolled over London as the Major began talking from his giant zeppilin.

"Und like zat, ze boot has finally dropped! You vaffermunchers didn't think ve didn't have a backup plan should he not be able to be controlled, did you?" he laughed, only for a bullet to rip right through the blimp. As it crashed and burned, Seras and Schrödinger began tending to the downed werewolf.

"fuck I could use a drink right about now..." he groaned.