CHAPTER THREE. Say Don't Go

It was cold out. The sun had set hours ago. A group of friends huddled up at a fire at the boneyard. Two girls. Three boys. A boy and a girl cuddled up in the sand while they and their friends talked about their lives. Teenage innocence. Teenage love. Their lives seemingly, temporarily, perfectly fitting together in some mismatched puzzle.

"Kiara's leaving Kook Academy," Juliet hummed as she leaned into John B. John B's arms were wrapped around her. Their legs a tangled mess. She was looking over at Kiara, who was sitting adjacent to them on a log. She smiled, blowing her best friend a kiss.

John B hummed, happy their friend was coming back to them. She'd been at the academy, miserably attempting to become a kook and leaving her Pogue friends in the dust. Things went well, at least at first. And then...things went south and Kiara knew she didn't belong. She couldn't do it anymore.

John B's hands were holding Juliet's. He played with her fingers as he thought about his next words. "Have you thought about it?" He asked. Juliet was silent. She turned her head slightly, confused. "Leaving the academy."

Juliet sighed, sitting up slightly. "John B,"

"I just," John B started, watching as she turned to look at him. "You're not like them, J. You never have been."

Juliet shrugged. "What does that even mean?" She asked quietly. "John B, I'm happy at the academy."

"Are you?" He asked. Juliet stared at him. "Or are you settling because Willow and your mom are happy?"

The words hit her harder than he meant them to. No matter how right he was. She wasn't happy. And John B knew her better than anyone. Of course he could see through her. He knew everything about her. The things that made her happy. The things that made her sad. The things that she struggled with and the things she'd overcome. And he loved every bit of her. Every thing she saw as a flaw and every thing she liked. He loved. And somehow, his words felt so cruel. So brutally honest and the last thing she wanted to hear come from between his lips.

She rolled her eyes, pushing off the ground and walking past the fire. "I'm not doing this," She said. She stormed past JJ and Pope, who sat next to each other at the fire as well. They looked at each other, then Kiara, who was sheepishly across from them, hugging her knees. She refused. She didn't want to face the truth. She knew John B. She knew he would push her and prod her and she didn't want that. She'd been pushed far enough by everyone else. She was sick. She was tired. She was hurting and she couldn't take another hit.

John B followed her. "You're miserable! You hate it just as much as Kie does!" He shouted. Juliet ignored him, stomping through the sand. She felt the wind slamming into her. Her hair was in her face. She was breathing heavily. "You're hurting yourself, Jules!"

She whipped her head around. He had stopped following her, standing a few feet away. He looked so sad. Like a beaten up puppy. Her face lost all of its color. Was this real? None of this could be real. This had to be a dream. Some stupid fucking dream. She looked over. JJ, Pope, and Kiara were all standing at the fire now, looking at the couple that once ruled the Southside of Kildare. They'd heard him. They knew. Everybody knew and Juliet wanted nothing more than to drown herself in the ocean.

She looked back at John B now. His sad puppy eyes that were contorting into frustration. He came from a good place, he really did. But he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't watch the girl he loves, one of his best friends, wither away. There was a time her eyes were filled with light and her cheeks were red from smiling and blushing. There was a time all he heard from her was laughs at his jokes and squeals as he and JJ carried her into the water. A time where she was happy. He could tell she was happy and she radiated sunshine.

But she wasn't that now. Standing in front of him, the nasty wind biting into her pale skin. Her short choppy hair. Her oversized sweater she never took off anymore. Her eyes that were red from tears she'd shed when nobody was around. Her frame small. Figure Eight was eating her alive. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Jules, you're hurting yourself and you're hurting everyone else!" John B gestured to the fellow Pogues at the fire. Juliet felt like throwing up. "We hate seeing you like this. We hate seeing you sad all the time."

She blinked at him. She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to have this conversation anymore. She was happy at the academy. She was happy on Figure Eight. She had her mom, she had Willow, she had Kiara, and she wasn't an outsider anymore. She clenched her jaw. She was shaking.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" She screamed over the wind. Deny, deny, deny.

She was lying to herself. She had to. She had to be happy. She had to be happy on the north side of this stupid island and this stupid town and this stupid life. She had to. For her mom. For Willow. She was drowning.

John B closed his eyes. He tried to compose himself, he really did. He took three big strides, grabbing hold of Juliet's arm. She yanked back. The two of them stumbling as he tried to pull her sleeve. Juliet screamed, the two of them tumbling into the sand. The others all started stumbling, coming to separate them. John B and Juliet were pulling and pushing.

John B confirmed his suspicions.

Juliet ripped away, crawling backwards as she tried to pull herself up. John B stood up too, looking at her with this sad pitiful look that made Juliet want to scream. "Why did you do that?" She hissed, her voice low.

"Why did you?"

Juliet closed her eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her world was crumbling. The balance was off. Everything was tumbling on to her. "I'm not leaving the academy. I'm not leaving my mom. And I'm not leaving Willow!" She shouted over the wind. John B and her stared at each other, the rest of the world no longer existing. "I have to stay, John B!"

"And what about me? Huh? What about us?"

"I'm not like you, John B!" She exasperated, throwing her hands in the air. "I'm not wild and I'm not reckless and I'm not confident and I'm not-"

"A pogue."

There was a cold silence. Even the wind had seemed to halt when he said it. Everyone was frozen. Juliet's eyes wide with hurt. This was it. There was no playing both sides anymore. She no longer had the best of both worlds. She couldn't even have the world she wanted. It was like she was losing grip on the life she once had. She once knew. Her friends, her boyfriend, her place slipping through her fingers as she realized that, in order to make her mom happy, and in order to make Willow happy, sacrifices had to be made.

So, Juliet nodded. She pressed her lips together and nodded her head as she reached at the necklace around her neck. "I guess you're right. I'm not a pogue." She snapped the necklace off, throwing it into the sand between them. John B looked down, his heart feeling like it was aching. Truly aching in his chest. "I'm done."

John B woke up.

He was in the chateau. That's what he and his friends called it anyway. An old fishing shack he and his dad lived in. He wasn't on the beach, breaking up with his girlfriend and losing one of his closest friends. That was months ago. Felt like forever. He was home. He winced, his face hurting and his sides aching.

"Don't move, I have an ice pack."

John B's eyes flicked up. She was in front of him. The same girl he'd fought with on the beach so long ago. She looked different. Maybe they both did. Older, their hair both longer. His skin tanner from the sun shine and lack of sunscreen. Her skin softer from expensive skin care. And now his face bruised from Topper Thornton.

"Jules."

Juliet Sallow straightened her posture. She was still in her dress, which had soaked and clung to her body. It was cold. She smiled faintly, reaching up and putting a gel ice pack to his cheek. Her painted red nails. Her dark hair. Her soft eyes. Her frown (it was more of a pout, really). Her layers and layers of bracelets.

"Hi."

John B blinked. As if she'd disappear. He furrowed his brow, memories of the night flooding in. JJ and Sarah and Topper. A stupid cup. Dirty Pogues. The fight. The water. Juliet jumping on top of Topper. Juliet had stepped in.

"Are you okay?"

Her voice was soft. It always was with him. She studied his face, now. His freckles. His messy hair. His sad eyes. She looked him over in curiosity and concern. His shirt just as soaked as her dress. She smiled. She let him take the ice pack from her.

"He really did a number on you." She teased, but he could hear the concern in her tone.

John B looked around as she stood up. She walked towards his kitchen. "What are you doing here?" He asked. He noticed the absence of his friends. There was no worrisome Kiara. No Pope. No JJ. "Where's everyone?"

"They all went home. They'll check on you in the morning." Juliet held up a bottle of water and a bottle of ibuprofen. John B took it. "Your electricity doesn't work yet."

"Welcome to the cut."

Juliet sat on the edge of the couch, which was folded out into a bed for his friends. She tilted her head, "Are you okay?" She asked again.

John B nods, "I'm fine." He watched Juliet stare at him, waiting. "Seriously, Jules, I'm good."

She looked at her lap, playing with her fingers. John B watched. "I heard about your dad."

John Routledge. Big John. He went missing nine months ago, around the same time as their breakup and Kiara left the academy. Most people were under the impression he died at sea. Looking for a shipwreck. From what Juliet had heard, John B wouldn't sign any paper work. Big John was a decent man. He was funny and kind. Little strange, like his son. But he was good. He always treated Juliet with kindness and told her great stories about ships and treasures.

John B looked away from her now. He seemed unsure of what to say now. For so long, he'd been angry she didn't reach out. Not a single text, phone call, nothing. She didn't even look at him when he'd walk past her in town. But now? Now it just felt a little too late.

"Yeah. I heard about your mom and Paul." John B countered. He watched as Juliet looked around the place again. "What's going on with that?"

"Divorce."

John B scoffed. "No, shit." He muttered.

Juliet sucked in a breath, turning away from him. "Look, I just wanted to make sure you're okay. But I, um, I should go." She stood up, walking around him.

Quick, John B shot up and followed her. "Jules," She kept walking, down his steps and into the grass. "Jules you don't have to go."

"It's better if I do."

"Jules!" She whipped around at her name. John B stood there, eerily similar to the way he looked that night. A lost puppy. A little boy. Lost and broken and sad and hurt and beaten down. She knew what that felt like. He shrugged. He had nothing to give her. Nothing to convince her. Nothing to offer. "Just stay."

There was a time where he didn't have to ask her to. She always did. She never left his side until she knew he was okay. There was a time where he wanted her at his side at all times. His mind feeling more at ease. Everything made sense when she was around. But that was a long time ago.

And yet, they both stood outside of his little house they called the chateau. The warm wind and the salty air. Both of them smell like the ocean. Both of them looked like a sad lonely broken mess. Because that's exactly what they were.

Juliet blinked back her tears. She inhaled deeply as she wiped at her cheeks. She was feeling so much and yet she felt nothing at all. She looked at him. She missed him so much. She missed her old life. She missed the way she was. She missed evenings at the chateau, fishing on John B's boat. She missed spending nights at Kiara's and the two of them running down the dock to their friends. She missed JJ's stupid jokes. Pope's peculiar fun facts. She missed John B.

Her hair was a matted mess that she pulled behind her ears as she looked at him. She nodded slowly. John B's eyes lightened. She started walking closer. She was staying. She was staying. She walked through the grass. He wasn't sure it was real. She was staying.

John B wrapped his arms around her. She flinched at the contact. His body caging her in like an injured animal. He was shaking. She didn't notice it until now. Her guilty heart ached. She wanted to hug him back, but she didn't know if she deserved it. Deserved this. And yet, she pressed her head into the crook in his shoulder, closing her eyes tight as she hugged him back.

She didn't know how badly she needed this.

Figure Eight was filled with sunshine. People going about their days as they always did. The Cameron's cleaning up their property. The Carrera's opening up their restaurant. The Madison's sitting out on their back patio eating breakfast and having their morning coffees.

Willow Madison stood at her bedroom window, looking down at the patio to see her dad and step-mom eating and chatting. She clenched her jaw. The memories where she and Juliet would be out in their pool. Swimming around no matter the time. An anger fueled her. She hated it. The fact the room adjacent to hers was once a safe place filled with polaroids and posters and flags. Now it was empty and bare. Cold and lost.

"What are you doing?"

Rafe Cameron tiredly looked at her, scrunching his face at the sight of her framed by the sun. He was tangled in her sheets. She was dressed, wearing a black summer dress that cinched in at the waist. She pushed her hair out of her way, facing him.

"I was wondering when you'd wake up." Willow walked over, leaning onto the bed. She smiled soft, kissing Rafe softly. He hummed, reaching up and framing her face with his hands. He tasted like cigarettes, alcohol, and salt. She pulled away, turning towards her closet.

Willow and Rafe had never been good to each other. Both of them filled with their own sense of rage and spite. Mommy and Daddy issues galore. Spoiled rich teenagers that shared spit like venomous snakes. They were so similar in that way. Perhaps thats why they found each other. A twisted sense of love and understanding. I'll love you forever, he says as she rolls her eyes dismissively. I'll always love you, she'll say as he turns away from her glossy lips. The constant push and pull. Some sick and twisted pattern until one of them dropped dead. Cause neither would leave the other. Far too damaged and sick to even imagine losing their person. They never called it soulmates. They knew it wasn't that.

Rafe watched as she dug through her closet, pulling out a pair of sneakers. He sat up, resting on his elbows. "What are you doing?" He asked, frowning.

"Jules hasn't answered me today. I was going to go to her dad's and check on her."

Rafe scoffed, falling back into her mattress. "She's fine. Probably got a ride home from one of those pogues-"

"Well, she would've gotten a ride home from me if Topper and Kelce hadn't dragged me off the beach." Willow pointed out, turning and facing her boyfriend fully now. She put her hands on her hips and raised an expectant brow.

"You know how it goes, Wills. If you're going to a party and I'm not there—"

"Top and Kelce get to babysit me. Yeah, I'm aware."

Rafe brought his hands to his head. He groaned in frustration as he dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. "It's not babysitting. I just want you to be safe."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Willow reached down and grabs Rafes shirt from the night before, She tosses it on to his chest, waving her fingers. "Get dressed. My parents don't know you're here."

She sat at her vanity, pulling open a drawer and looking at her makeup. She reaches for a lip gloss, hardly paying any mind to her boyfriend as he changes. Her lip gloss tastes like cotton candy. She popped her lips and puckered her lips, she turned around, batting her lashes up at Rafe as he walked closer.

They kissed again, this time his hands in her hair. They were each others person. At least now. They knew each other better than they'd ever admit and they were the thing that grounded each other more than anything. Even if they had their flaws. Even if they had their bad habits. Maybe they were a bad habit. Together.

Maybe they'd already signed their death certificates.

Juliet Sallow hadn't slept.

She didn't sleep well at peoples houses. She'd spent a weekend at the Cameron estate once, didn't sleep the entire time. She looked like a zombified doll by Sunday evening. It had taken her some time to get comfortable in Kiara's home. It took lots of Kiara trying to make her comfortable and wear her out first by going out on a boat and swimming in the waters.

John B had passed out in his room. He had been so terrified she'd be gone when he woke up. He fought it. She assured him she'd stay. She didn't want to. In fact, Juliet kept her shoes by the fold out couch-bed just in case she wanted to run. But to a fault, Juliet kept her promises. Most of them anyway.

She was wearing a t-shirt. She didn't know whose it was, John B told her to pick from a pile in the corner of his room. Her guesses were minimal; JJ, Pope, or John B himself. She wore a pair of boxers as shorts, John B promising they were clean (they were a style he didn't like, only wore them once when he got them and never again). Her hair less tangled and messy (she stole Kiara's spare hairbrush), and she had tried to wash the salt water off as best as she could.

The power was not on, and the food in John B's fridge has certainly gone bad. She looked around, blowing air out from between her lips as she thought about what she could eat. They hadn't left her many options. Maybe she'd text Kiara and ask her to bring something.

In a weird way, this felt nostalgic. Early mornings in the chateau, wearing clothes that weren't hers. The only difference was, well, herself. There was no lively innocent teenage girl anymore. Just decay and withered away bones. A lost cause. A hopeless case. She would never be the same girl John Booker Routledge once loved.

Attempting to busy herself, she started to clean. Using old paper or plastic bags laying around, she started throwing things away. Empty beer bottles, cans, old disposable vapes, moldy food, half eaten things, used up blunts, and other remnants of the pogues. She didn't like the silence. Her thoughts got louder in those times. It made her skin crawl and her head start to buzz uncomfortably. She didn't like her thoughts. They were never kind and they were never simple. Everything was always quick, fast, sometimes cruel. One thing to another and another and another and another and another. No sense of keeping track.

The sound of a car coming up to the house caught her attention. Juliet walked closer, tripping over somebody's shoes as she got closer to the door. She tensed up in surprise as she notices a police car. She watches as Kildare's sheriff Peterkin (a brilliant woman, Juliet thought) climbs out of the drivers side. She was wearing a cap, looking up at the front door of the familiar Routledge house. Her eyebrow crinkled at the sight of the teenage tragedy standing outside of it.

Peterkin walked closer, calm and collected. "Julie, this is a surprise." There is no particular tone in her voice. It admittedly makes Juliet squirm.

"Good morning, sheriff," Juliet says, giving a closed mouth smile. "Do you need something?"

"Actually, I do." Peterkin walks up the steps, Juliet backing up into the door slightly. Peterkin was a smart woman. You had to be in a town like Kildare. Especially when you're running it. "I need to talk to John B. Where's he?"

Juliet blinks. Was this about last night? Her stomach churns in hunger and worry. Still, she stands up straight and stutters over her words. "He's still asleep. Come on,"

John B is upside down in his bed. His face squished into the mattress. He's dreaming of his father again. He was most nights, now. His father should be alive. He has to be. John B thinks Juliet would believe him if he told her. Big John had liked Juliet. She's a sweet girl, Bird. Don't fuck it up! Big John didn't take into account the possibility of Juliet doing it instead. Thought she was too smart to be a Pogue. Too sweet to be a Kook. She'll get off this island, and you better go with her. Big John must have not known Lindy Madison.

A hand rests on his back and causes his eyes to shoot open. Hazel meets brown. John B meets Juliet. Blond meets brunette. Boy meets girl. John B realizes she stayed.

She leans close, smiling faintly as she looks at his eye, and then him. "John B, someone's here," She whispered.

Confused, John B turns his head the slightest to see Sheriff Peterkin walking in. She's still wearing her hat, standing over him and Juliet tall and intimidating. "Get decent, sweetie. We need to talk."

Juliet looks back at John B, smiling faintly. John B sits up as Juliet stands. "Do you want me to go?" Juliet asks, pointing towards the door with her thumb.

John B shakes his head, urgently. "No, no." He says. Peterkin watches the two teens interact. "I'll be out there in a sec."

Juliet follows Peterkin into the living room. Juliet doesn't look at her. She pulls on her rubber band. She starts cleaning more urgently. Picking up bottles of beer on every surface. Juliet wonders how often John B really did clean up. If ever.

"Sorry to break in like this, but DCS called." Peterkin explained. "They wanted me to check on you. See how you're doin'." John B walks out, looking around. Juliet is by the kitchen, cleaning up the counters and awkwardly glancing back. Peterkin is next to him. "So how are you, besides the,"

She gestures to the black eye. John B shakes his head awkwardly. "Oh, no, I'm, I'm great. Yeah, fantastic. Uh, thanks for comin' by."

John B was an awkward liar. He had enough on his plate in the last few days. Ever since the hurricane came through. His friends and him found a sunken boat belonging to a guy from the cut, Scooter Grubbs. Scooter was dead, now. There was a shady motel with money and a gun (the gun JJ used at the boneyard). All of it possibly being tied to some big scandal that John B and his friends itched to figure out.

And Juliet knew none of it.

Peterkin nods as she looks at her hat in her hands. "I'm glad to hear you say that, John B, but I heard a few things that worried me. Let me see if I can remember." John B looks in Juliet's direction. She's standing by the fridge now, holding an empty milk gallon. She's looking at him. What's going on? John B shakes his head. "Oh, yeah. One of the things I heard was that your Uncle Teddy, your guardian, hasn't been in the state for three months."

John B turned away from Juliet. He didn't want to see her face. "Yeah, that's false."

"You don't have to say anything. I know it's true, I called the school." Peterkin waved him off. Juliet shifted on her feet, watching them silently. "They said you used to be a good student, but now you're failin' all your classes." Peterkin stands at the dining table, picking up an old blunt.

"No, no, I'm only failing one." John B corrected. "And it's history. The dudes a dick. He's out for me—"

"And I heard there was a fight on the beach yesterday," Peterkin walks closer. John B's back is still to Juliet. She's standing as far away as she can now, pushing her side into the counters as she clutches onto the garbage she's trying to clean. "And a gun was involved."

John B didn't look behind him. He prayed Juliet played along with what he was about to say. "Okay. Gun? No." He patted the sheriffs shoulder, continuing to walk past her." "Did I get in a dustup? Yes, but was there a gun?" He scoffs. "No. No way. Jules?"

Peterkin looks back at Juliet, who raises a brow as she holds an old pizza box. "No, there wasn't a gun."
She whispered. Still, even after all this time, Juliet lied for the people she once called her best friends. It made her stomach churn.

"That's okay. I know who it was. I'll get to him." Peterkin says casually. Juliet swallows the lump in her throat. "All I'm worried about right now is makin' sure you're in a safe home."

Juliet walks closer, still not leaving the kitchen. She watches as John B scoffs and looks around. "Yeah, super safe. Super sound, sturdy. You know what I mean?" Juliet pulls her rubber band. "And, Uncle T's coming, so."

"That what he told you?" Peterkin inquired. "Well, if he really is coming home, I think you should be allowed to stay."

Juliet realizes she missed a lot after her and John B broke up.

"But if I stick my neck out for you, you have to help me." Peterkin countered. "Tit for tat."

John B scratches behind his ear. He looks at Juliet now. She seems confused, now standing by the dining table as she clutches the back of a chair. "What does tat mean?" John B asks.

"Let me see, how can you help me? Oh, I know. So, a body was found in the marsh yesterday." Scooter Grubbs, John B thinks. Juliet frowned from behind the sheriff. "Were you in the marsh yesterday?"

"Yeah, we were fishing for some drum."

"You catch anything?"

"Nah, we were skunked."

Peterkin tilts her head. "Strange. Fishings usually good after a storm. All sorts of things get stirred up." She takes a step closer to the boy. Juliet feels like she might throw up. "You come across a wreck yesterday?"

Yes, John B thinks. They found the wreck, they found a motel key, they found money, they found the gun, and they were planning on going back again to find out what exactly Scooter Grubbs was doing with a fancy new boat despite being as broke as the rest of them. "No," He says.

"You skimmin' just above the surface, John B." Peterkin swirls her finger in circles. "Now, down here is foster care, juvie. Pretty big drop for a smart kid like you." Juliet's eyes are wide. John B had changed. Just like she had. Peterkin lifts her hand up. "Yo here is you and your little friends doing whatever you want. Outer Banks with your little girlfriend," She looks over at Juliet, then lowers her hand. "Or foster care on the mainland."

John B looks over. He looks at Juliet who is still frozen at the table. She's too freaked out to move. John B wishes the world would swallow him hole, for once. He had changed, too, after they broke up. He'd lost his first love, and shortly after his father. He didn't care about things like he used to. It seemed like everything was catching up to him and he didn't know how to manage.

"You one inch above the surface, John B. If I was you, I'd start flappin' my wings."

John B sits on the folded out couch. He looks up at the sheriff. He can feel Juliet's eyes burning into him. He could feel his heart slamming against his ribs. He wished Peterkin had done this later, waited until Juliet was gone. This wasn't what he wanted. This isn't what he thought his day would be.

"Now, you sure you didn't come across a wreck yesterday?"

John B thinks about the grady white down in the marsh. He thinks about him and his friends swimming down. He thinks about the gun. The shots fired at the boneyard. He thinks about the money they found (and took). He thinks about Juliet, his ex girlfriend who is finally talking to him.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure."

Peterkin leans close. Her hand rests on his shoulder. "It's better if you didn't, you understand?" Juliet watches silently as Peterkin stands up again. "I'm gonna look the other way, as long as you stay out of the marsh." Peterkin turns towards the doors, but looks around the chateau one last time. "I got dogs livin' better than this, John B. You might wanna think about cleanin' up."

Juliet snaps the rubber band.

John B grabs a can off the pull out, throwing it at the wall before putting his head in his hands. Juliet walks over, quickly sitting beside him. "John B," She whispered, "Are you okay?"

Juliet reached for his hands, taking them away from his face. He looks at her. Really looks at her. She was still a beautiful mess. A walking Shakespearean tragedy. He thinks he still loves her. She's the reason he and his friends started the no pogue-on-pogue rule. He thinks he would've spent the rest of his life with her if she hadn't moved to Figure Eight. She doesn't know. She doesn't remember what it was like to be innocent and naive like John B was.

"What was she talking about? There was a dead body in the marsh?"

John B's head was starting to hurt. He pinched his brow as he tried to figure out exactly what and what not to tell her. He wanted to tell her everything. Maybe she'd help him. She would, he knows it. But the others would not approve. Kiara would be pissed (because how dare he put her best friend in danger). JJ would be offended. Pope would be confused.

"Yeah. Scooter Grubbs. They're trying to figure out what happened. Looking for his boat." He explained to her. Juliet's eyes are wide.

She struggles with sympathy. She tries her hardest, but after spending so long trying to sympathize for a mother that could not love her child...it became a challenge. A brick wall she struggled to climb. "Oh, my god." She whispered. "That's terrible."

John B nods. He sat up slightly to face the girl now. He couldn't tell her more. Kiara wouldn't want her involved (not because she didn't want her best friend around, but because she didn't want her best friend getting into toruble). JJ wouldn't want her involved either (she's a kook now, it's only natural). Pope, well John B wasn't sure what Pope would think. But it wouldn't be a good idea, he knew it. Juliet needed to stay out of whatever weird dark twisted situation John B and the Pogues had gotten into.

So, he changed the subject and focused on the elephant in the room.

"Thank you. For staying."

Juliet clenched her jaw. "Yeah, of course." She whispered.

"It felt nice. Having you here again."

"Yeah, it's a little nostalgic, isn't it?" Juliet smiled as she looked around the place again. "It looks the same, just with a few extra beers lying around." John B scoffed as she giggled at him. John B hadn't seen her smile in what felt like forever.

He ran his fingers through his dark blond hair. His eyes were sad. But he was smiling. He shook his head. "Jules, I'm sorry." Her spine straightened. "That night, I said things I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have— pushed."

"That was a long time ago, John B," Juliet dismissed.

"I just," John B sucked in a breath. "I don't want you to go again."

Juliet licked her chapped lips in thought. This wasn't what she expected. Not from John B. His softness and warmth so familiar and yet felt so wrong because she knew she was not deserving. She had left him in the cold, literally and metaphorically. She'd ignored him. She'd abandoned him. She never even came back when she knew what happened to his dad. He deserved better than that. Juliet knew that. And yet...she never did anything to fix it.

She looked down at her lap, fiddling with the shirt she's wearing. "John-"

He cut her off (a habit he always had, he always knew what she was thinking). "We can talk about it. Or we can leave it in the past. Whatever you want." He explained. "But I miss you, Jules. You were my best friend. You still are."

Juliet's heart hurts. She feels guilty. Freakishly. Her chest aches and her head is buzzing and her skin is tingling. She wanted the world to be swallowed whole. She wanted to disappear. Maybe she still could. But maybe she shouldn't.

She pushes her hair behind her hair as she nods slowly. "Okay," Her voice is barely above a whisper. John B watches as she reaches for his hand. Her skin was soft, his was calloused. His eyes were full of hope. Her's...weren't. "I have to go home, but I'll swing by tomorrow? We can talk about, whatever. And if we don't want to talk about something, we'll say," She trailed off as she looked around the chateau. She tried to think of a word, but the only things that came to mind were beer, bottle, and picture. She sat up straight. "We'll say chicken wing."

John B's eyebrows cinch together. "Chicken wing?" He asks.

She nods her head. "It won't be brought up otherwise. Unless you want to talk about chicken wings." She shrugs, looking at him. John B chuckles, shaking his head back at her. She smiles, though both of them know it doesn't reach her eyes. "Okay. Then, I'll see you tomorrow." John B watches as Juliet grabs her things, puts on her shoes, and walks past him to the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Jules,"

The Cameron estate. It was sunny and filled with laughter. Today, the Cameron family sat outside for lunch to enjoy the weather. Ward Cameron and his three kids; Rafe, Sarah, and Wheezie. His wife, Rose, and step mother to his children, was sipping her own drink as Sarah served lemonade to the family. And next to Rafe, smiling and fitting into their family portrait perfectly, was Willow Madison.

Like I have said before, Willow is pretty sure there was some sort of arraigned marriage agreed upon between Paul Madison and Ward Cameron. Their kids, both heirs to their businesses, would collectively run most of Kildare together. It was perfect. They looked good together, too. They complimented each other in the best ways. And the worst ways.

"So, Willow," Ward's voice caused her to look away from her boyfriend. "How was your family doing?

Her smile slowly faded from her face. She could feel Rafe's hand squeeze her knee. She looked across the table towards Sarah, who silently sipped her glass of lemonade. "Um," Willow sat up straight, pulling her knee away from Rafe completely. "It's okay."

"And how is the divorce?"

Sarah snapped her head towards her dad's direction. "Dad, stop." She cut him off, shaking her head. She knew Willow and Juliet (of course she did, they went to school together). She had even been friends with them all until her and Kiara's falling out. Juliet was Kiara's best friend, so naturally their contact had fallen short. Only talking at parties and events the Madison and Cameron families attended together. Sarah and Willow had stayed friends. Not best friends like Jules and Kie, but friends.

Ward smiled, but Willow could tell it wasn't genuine. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't press." He looked around the table as he smiled faintly. He reached down to his pocket, sighing in realization. "Sarah, will you go grab my phone? I must have left it on the boat this morning."

The older Cameron girl stood up, looking across the table. "Willow, will you come with me?"

The dark haired girl looked at her boyfriend. Rafe clenched his jaw, clearly not amused. Still, she smiled up at Sarah and stood from her chair. "Obvs,"

Sarah smiled, walking a few steps ahead and letting the asian girl catch up. She leaned close, "Sorry about my dad. No boundaries."

"Has he ever?" Willow whispered back. The two girls shared giggles, pushing into each other. "Rafe does not like you and I getting along,"

"Would he rather us hate each other?" Sarah asked, looking back at her as they walked onto the dock. They faced each other. "God, Willow, you're such a stuck up bitch!" She mocks playfully.

Willow hides her smile, rolling her eyes dramatically. "And you are a stupid slutty blond bimbo," She says back. The two of them scrunch their faces, laughing as they turn and walk further down the dock and climb onto the boat.

To their surprise, another person is on the boat. John Booker Routledge. He's carrying large bags of the scuba tanks. Sarah pulls the sunglasses off her face, putting them on top of her head. "Oh! Hey," She says kindly. She leans onto the boat, Willow standing next to her. "Are you stalking us? Plotting your revenge?"

John B scoffs as he looks at her, "Yeah. Why don't you just tell your daddy I blew the Blige on Druthers?" His eyes flicker towards Willow. The memory of Jules comes in. He turns away from them both. "Everything's good to go. Just topping off these tanks."

Willow tilted her head, following John B down the steps of the boat, in the direction of his own. "John B," She called out. He tensed up, but didn't look at her. "Are you okay? Cause that eye of yours looks really gnarly." She scrunched her face as he turns to look at her. "It's even gnarlier up close." She steps back, closer to Sarah.

"Yeah, you know what? You guys can tell Topper he won the first round. I'll get him next time."

Sarah watches John B swing his legs over the side of their boat, climbing into his. "So there's just gonna be a reign of terror on this island now?" She asked.

"Wars have been started for less, Sarah Cameron."

"Okay. Can we just drop the whole Pogues versus Kooks thing?" Sarah leaned onto the side, Willow next to her. "It is really stupid." Willow hums, agreeing with her. John B looks up at them, smiling bitterly at the two richest girls on Figure Eight.

"You know, that's easy to say when you're a kook."

Willow smiled back at him, matching his bitter smile. He tapped their boat twice, turning to the steering wheel on his. Sarah stood up straight, watching him start the engine. "See you later, JB!" Willow called out, waving. Sarah, on the other hand, gave him a two finger salute before turning it into a middle finger.

Willow laughed dryly, standing up straight and turning away and following Sarah back up the steps to find her dads phone. "He's such an ass," She muttered, leaning against the door frame.

Sarah is digging through everything, looking for the cellphone. "It's his stupid friends fault he has the black eye." She pointed out. "And I'm not wrong. The pogue versus kook thing is stupid. Does he forget he dated a kook?"

"Oh, trust me. He would never forget."

NATALIA'S NOTES

merry christmas eve y'all! it's nat! i know for you guys it's only been a week since i updated this which is NOTHING in comparison to some of my fics that take me a year to update (im so sorry). but im already struggling with this book for the stupidest reasons.

long story short i heavily included someone into this story (she created willow) but due to some things, im having to cut off that entire family and im currently in a very...icky sad place. and so it kinda tainted this story for me slightly BUT!! BUT!!! i love jules way too much already ANDDDDD i already have some ideas!! im very excited to say that because i will be using this story as therapy (as i was already doing) for what ive been going through ANDDDD this story will have new changes that, honestly?? im already excited for.

im not going to reveal anything (unless you're avery...i snapchat her all the time with ideas). if you're a mutual i yap with...bae i should dm you for help because a girl (me) has ideas. this may be targeted to emily and romie because they're half the reason i get so excited to write this.

A N Y W A Y S, i wanted to put that out there in case you notice slow updates. i'm still going to write willow and her storyline i now have planned, but it's just all a bit...triggering??? but it's okay!! i'm okay (mostly). i did delete her playlists on my spotify BUTTTT i have a new jules & john b playlist (i edited my last authors note to mention it already) and im making a jules & kiara playlist SOOOO that's fun.

but about thissss chapter, we finally know what happened between john b & jules!! clearly there's more context needed (i think it's very obvious but im waiting for the right time to share more) but like...we understand things. the ball is ROLLING.

also can you believe this is a sarah cameron fic and we haven't even interacted with her yet?  I CANT WAIT for you guys to see how they interact cause it is so stinking cute. like...i keep writing little random scenes in my notes app because im already so excited for them. i have to write a slowburn, ME! have we MET ME??? IM INCAPABLE OF WRITING SLOWBURNS!!!

i'm gonna go, i have presents to open and an ex boyfriend to text (we listen and we don't judge). i also have a super sick mom AND im playing hogwarts legacy for the third time. happy holidays hookers!! i love yall and i will see you soon!

toodles!!