I've never been fond of change. I am always scared whenever things change from what they are. I always wanted for things to stay the same as it is.

Tulad na lang ngayon, I can't seem to collect myself into eating the thing in front of me. Blaze was waiting for me to take a bite on the unfamiliar dish that he had bought for me. It was a large meal of bibimbap from the Korean food stall that we have in our cafeteria.

"I don't eat this," I finally said in a whisper. It's not that I am picky or what, but it's a constant routine for me to eat instant noodles from the convenience store, or sandwiches from the university cafeteria. Either of the two or nothing.

His warm expression didn't change. "Then it's time for you to try something new."

I was taken aback with what he said. For some reason, I thought that he would be asking me the reason why I don't eat such things.

New? It's a very vague word for me, probably because I've always liked to stay on my own comfort, on my usual routines. I hate it when the normal and tedious patterns of my everyday life are ruined.

"But–"

"Don't be afraid, it's just vegetables and rice mixed together," he assured me like he was talking to a kid who's going to eat vegetables for the first time.

I know we're still talking about the food, but somehow, it was as if he was talking about something else that hit me.

Dahan-dahan kong kinuha ang plastic utensils na kasama ng meal at kukuha na sana ako ng small portion nang bigla niya akong pigilan. What now? I thought he wanted me to try this?

"Hindi ka nga nakain niyan," there was a hint of amusement in his voice. "Hinahalo muna lahat iyan bago kainin, look," he demonstrated it for me using his own meal.

Napatango na lang ako and did the same thing with my bibimbap. At first, I was still contemplating if I could eat it after mixing all of the foods included in the meal. I've always preferred to eat foods that are easy and simple, like noodles.

When I took a bite, I was chewing it at a slow pace, until I became used to its flavor. I blinked several times before a small sound of acknowledgement escaped my mouth. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

"I'm glad you liked it," napalingon ako kay Blaze nang sabihin niya iyon.

Bigla naman akong nahiya at sinabing, "I-It's not that good but not that bad either."

Narinig ko ang mahinang tawa niya. "Sige, sabi mo eh."

The rest of our lunch was silent but peaceful, with me studying and him typing on his laptop. Surprisingly, I finished the bibimbap and almost stopped myself from burping before him.

"Thanks for the meal, but you don't have to do it again," I tried to talk to him.

He stopped typing on his laptop and threw a glance at me. "Edi hindi ka na naman kakain nang matino niyan."

Napakunot na naman ang noo ko. "What is it to you anyway?"

His shoulders just shrugged and didn't give me a response. I was still about to ask him more when my alarm went off. I need to go to my next class.

Niligpit ko na ang gamit ko and mouthed another 'thanks' to him before leaving. During my next and last class for the day, I was able to focus and listen clearly to my professor's lecture regarding the final's content, contrary to my weary state earlier. Maybe the proper rice meal did it for me.

The weekend had passed of me almost living by my desk, unless I needed to take a bath, sleep, eat, or have another cup of coffee in order to keep myself up. Monday arrived and it was the start of hell week. Everyone was pacing back and forth, with a pile of papers or notes in their hands.

My first exam in Business Ethics went pretty smoothly. As I passed by the covered grounds of the main building, I heard the occurring debate carried out by the student government of the university regarding the one week semestral break, proposing to at least extend it for at least two weeks.

The voice of Pearl Dawson, the council's secretary, resonated through the whole grounds, standing on the podium. There were a couple of students who were stopping by to listen and vote in favor of the said cause.

I settled myself at the amphitheater while reviewing for my next exam. Just as I put on my earpods, someone hastily sat beside me, and when I looked at him, Blaze's physique caught me off-guard.

"What the hell..."

But he didn't seem to be offended and had his camera on his face. He seemed to be satisfied with his shot as he grinned brightly, until his gaze landed on me. I was still not used to peering over his green deep-set of eyes, like there was a whole forest within those orbs.

"Wanna have lunch together?" he asked, his grin still on his face.

Agad na kumunot ang noo ko. Wala ba siyang exam? I wanted to ask him that, but I prevented myself. That may sound offensive.

"What?"

He facepalmed. "It's Monday, you might go to the store again."

Iniwas ko naman ang aking tingin. I hate that he knows that about me. Hindi ko na lang siya sinagot at nagpatuloy sa pag-review at mabuti naman ay hindi na niya ulit ako kinulit. When my alarm went off, I left him there to go to my next exam.

The exam went for about two hours and I felt breathless throughout the whole period. Pakiramdam ko ay nakahinga lang ako nang maluwag nang makalabas ako ng room. Even my blockmates were either zoned out or looked exhausted after the exam.

Nang makalabas ako ng building namin, nagdalawang-isip tuloy ako kung pupunta ba ako sa kabilang avenue dahil sa sinabi ni Blaze. Why does he have to know about it anyway? Nakakainis.

In the end, I forced myself to buy lunch at the university cafeteria. Just when I was about to order, someone spoke before me and said, "Two curry rice meals and two lemonades."

Lumingon ako sa pamilyar na boses ni Blaze at nakita siyang nagbayad para sa mga inorder niya. He carried the tray with what he ordered and started looking for a table. When he noticed that I'm not with him, he glanced back.

"Don't make me pull you please, my arms are full," he said dramatically.

I was still stunned with his actions until I felt the stares of the people around us. Napayuko ako habang nakasunod kay Blaze. Mabuti na lang sa hindi mataong lugar ang nahanap naming pwesto kaya naman inangat ko rin ang aking ulo. That was close.

"Mabuti na lang at naabutan kitang nasa harap ng pila," he chuckled, placing one plate in front of me. "You should eat."

But instead of eating, I asked him, "Why are you doing this?"

Mukhang hindi naman siya na-offend o natigilan sa tanong ko dahil patuloy pa rin siya sa pagkain. He was slowly munching as he stared back at me kaya napaiwas ako ng tingin.

"Kahit sino naman sigurong makakakita ng eating habits mo, magiging concern," he simply told me.

Tinitigan ko muna ng ilang minuto ang curry meal na nasa harap ko bago ako napabuntong-hininga at nagsimulang kumain. Even on an isolated table, I can still feel the stares of the students passing by, as if verifying if it's Ella Arison that they saw. I lowered my head as I continued eating.

"How was the food?" I heard Blaze ask.

The taste wasn't bad but there was something lacking with its flavor. The potatoes and carrots were not evenly cooked either and felt difficult to chew. I shook my head with my unnecessary thoughts and continued eating.

"Not bad," was all I could say.

Pero ramdam ko ang kakaiba niyang tingin sa akin kaya naman napakunot ang noo ko. Ano na naman bang iniisip ng isang 'to?

For my last class, we still had no exam, but there was a lecture review from the professor. Umuwi akong tuyong-tuyo ang utak dahil sa dalawang magkasunod na exam at three hours worth of lecture. I gotta thank Blaze for the rice meal or I could've passed out earlier.

Wait, did I just acknowledge his concern for my eating habits?

Nakatulala lang ako sa kisame nang pumasok sa isip ko ang curry na kinain namin kanina. Tumayo ako at imbis na magpalit ng damit at mag-review, I went straight to the kitchen to cook curry. I wasn't satisfied with its overall taste.

Isa-isa kong nilabas ang ingredients as I tied my hair in a messy bun. Umakyat ako sa taas at kinuha ang isang nakatagong box mula sa aking drawers. I pulled out a sharp kitchen knife that shined as the light reflected from it. It's been years since I last touched this, back when my mom was still here.

Habang nagluluto ako, napapatingin sa akin ang ibang maids na napapalingon sa direksyon ko. Through my peripheral vision, I could notice their tiny smiles whenever they passed by the kitchen.

It took me almost an hour before I finished. I grabbed a bowl and put rice with the curry on top of it. I went to my room and placed my dinner on my desk as I started to study for tomorrow's exam. The curry tasted better this time.

My week passed by in a blur. Matapos ang lunch namin ni Blaze noong Monday, hindi ko na ulit siya muling nakita. He probably got busy with his own finals.

It was Friday morning when I felt something bad happening. Palabas na ako ng main door when I heard from the guard that my driver was with Morissa and left early in the morning.

"Sorry ma'am," the guard apologized even though he hasn't done anything.

"No, it's alright."

I sighed and clenched my fists as I was trying to calm myself down. So hindi nga ako nagkakamali nang may narinig akong dumating ng bahay ng alas tres ng umaga. It was that damn witch.

Today is my Accounting exam and heaven knows she did that on purpose so that I can't attend my morning exam. This was not the first time she did this but the anger building up in me was the same.

My phone vibrated and I saw a message from the witch. Good luck on Accounting :))

May the world forgive me for the worst things that I could do to this woman.

With a heavy heart, I walked out of the manor and at least got to the village gate as quickly as possible. I crossed the street and waited for a bus, with the sun slowly rising up.

I never commuted my whole life. This was the first time because when Morissa first did this, I got lucky when it rained because classes got postponed, so I didn't have to attend my class that time. But today, it's different. There were no signs of dark clouds or even brewing rain.

This is why I hate the sun.

Hindi na ako mapakali dahil ilang minuto na akong nakatayo sa waiting shed pero wala pa ring nadaan na bus. Wala ring jeepney na dumadaan dito dahil masyado nang malayo itong village sa bayan. That's why you can't live within that high-end luxurious village without owning a vehicle.

I only have twenty minutes left before my first exam and the anxiety growing in me was making it hard to breathe. Pakiramdam ko lahat ng inaral ko nang ilang linggo para sa Accounting ay natatabunan ng kaba ko.

And just when I thought that hope was gone, a scooter painted in moss kind of green stopped right before me. The guy took out his vivid yellow helmet and revealed Blaze with his hair sticking on his sweating forehead. Damn yellow.

"Why are you here and–" he stopped midway when he somehow noticed the tears forming in my eyes.

Bumaba siya ng scooter at isinuot sa akin ang helmet na hawak niya.

"What are you doing?"

He glanced at me. "Sakay na."

"But you don't have a helmet!" I exclaimed.

He just replied with a grin. "Just trust me."

It took me a few more seconds of contemplating before I stopped overthinking and rode behind him. Pinatakbo niya agad ang scooter kaya napahawak ako sa magkabila niyang balikat.

"Be careful naman!" I screamed from behind yet I only heard him chuckle.

The ride was fast and smooth but it didn't feel dangerous, as if he was taking extra care for having someone with him.

I could feel my hair being blown by the wind as we passed by the lonesome highway from our village. I didn't have much time to look at this view when I'm inside our car because my mind was occupied with studying while travelling. From the horizon, I could see the sun brilliantly.

How does she still shine even when alone?

It only took us fifteen minutes before we arrived at the university. Blaze was good at finding narrow spaces on the road which saved us from traffic. Pawis na pawis ang buong mukha ko nang tanggalin ko ang helmet niya. Ramdam ko agad ang kakaibang tingin sa akin ng mga estudyante sa paligid nang makita nila kung sino ang bumaba ng scooter.

"I owe you one," I told him before handing the helmet and ran towards my building without waiting for his response.

Everyone was almost making way for me as they saw me running as if my life depended on it. It was. Finally, I entered our room two minutes before the time. My classmates turned all their heads to me as they saw me in a different and unusual state.

Bago pa ako makapunta sa aking upuan, lumapit sa akin ang isa kong kaklase na babae. "Hala, Ella, ayos ka lang ba? Bakit parang hingal na hingal ka?" Bella asked with concern.

But I knew better. I just threw a forced smile at her and went to my seat. Sakto namang dumating ang proctor namin kaya nawala na rin sa akin ang atensyon nila. But I could still feel their curious stares and Bella's gaze after I ignored her.

"Sayang si Ella, 'no? Matalino na, maganda pa, pero nag-tataboy ng tao. Buti na lang maganda siyang ka-group lalo na kapag research, automatic uno."

"Kaya nga eh. Lalo na nung naging leader siya sa case study sa Finance, halos wala na kaming gawin haha. Buhat na buhat kami."

After I've heard of these things from someone, I have always taken into account not to work in a group or with other people. Since then, I always told my professors if I could work alone.

The adrenaline from what seemed to be the marathon that I did was still taking a toll on me, but it kinda helped me from answering accurately despite the fear that almost ate me up. I was biting my nails to prevent myself from quivering. Calm the fuck down, Ella.

Fortunately, natapos ko nang maayos ang exam at nasagutan ko naman ito lahat nang tama. Para akong nabunutan ng tinik sa lalamunan, I survived the misery that Morissa had caused me and I even aced my Accounting exam that I vowed on getting a perfect score and slap it to her face.

Habang palabas ako ng room, someone stood on my way and I saw the face of Francine Aguilera, the class representative. I don't have the remaining energy to even talk to anyone, that's why before she could even ask, I walked past her which earned the stares of my block mates.

"Matalino nga, feeling entitled naman."

Right.

Mabuti na lang at iyon lang ang kailangan kong pasukan ngayong araw dahil wala na kaming afternoon class. Nagmadali akong naglakad palabas ng building dahil parami nang parami ang mga titig na natatanggap ko.

"Si Arison, male-late? Impossible."

"Baka hindi na natulog kakaaral."

Agad akong sumakay ng bus papunta sa kabilang avenue. I feel like ngayon lang ako nakahinga nang maayos after all that happened. It's just midday and I am already exhausted to even continue.

Pagbaba ko ng bus, hindi muna ako dumiretso sa convenience store dahil hindi pa naman ako nagugutom. Instead, I went to the open dance studio two streets away from the store. From the glass windows, I could see the gay instructor in front who was teaching a bunch of kids a hip hop genre.

I couldn't help but form a remorseful smile as I watched what's in front of me. Pero mukhang napansin ng mga bata na may nanonood sa kanila kaya bago pa sila lumingon sa direksyon ko, nagtago ako sa gilid. Napahinga na lang ako nang malalim at aalis na sana, but Blaze surprised me who was nodding his head while gazing through the window, his arms crossed in his chest.

"What the fuck–why do you just appear out of nowhere, every now and then?!" I squealed. Para siyang kabute, bigla na lang lumilitaw kung saan-saan.

"Hmm, ito pala yung matagal nang gustong puntahan ni Nikko at Kira," he muttered without glancing at me. Who's Kira anyway?

Nagsimula na akong maglakad palayo nang maramdaman ko na nakasunod siya sa akin. Saka ko lang naalala ang utang ko sa kanya dahil sa paghatid niya sa akin kaninang umaga.

Well, it's not like he intentionally did that, more like sinabay niya lang ako dahil kaawa-awa na ang sitwasyon ko kanina.

I stopped walking and faced him. "I forgot to say this, but thank you for what you did earlier. I appreciate it. Tell me how I can repay you."

Nakatitig lang siya sa akin kaya naman hindi ko maiwasang mailang. Damn, wala ba siyang sasabihin?

"Iniisip mo siguro kung bakit ko ginawa yung kanina," he said. "Pero syempre kabaliktaran yung iniisip mo sa totoong dahilan kung bakit ko ginawa iyon."

Napakurap naman ako sa kanya at nagsimula ulit maglakad. Bakit kailangan niya pang sabihin iyon?

"Pero sige, tara. May ipapakita ako sa'yo," he suddenly dragged me by my wrist which bewildered me.

"Wait, you don't have to drag me out!" I called out but he didn't remove his hand on mine.

A few blocks away from the dance studio was a newly-opened ice cream parlor. It wasn't here when I was still coming on this street a few years back.

"You want me to repay you through this?" I asked him.

Bigla namang kumunot ang noo niya. "Sinong nagsabing may utang kang babayaran sa'kin?"

"Wait–"

He completely ignored me and went right to the counter to order. "Two cones of strawberry," he told them and immediately paid for it.

"I could pay for both of us! And I only eat vanilla ice cream!"

He just shrugged and ignored what I said once again, ruffling my hair just because he's taller than me. Who gave him the permission to do that to me?!

"Here," he was handing me the cone of strawberry ice cream but I was refusing it. "Kukunin mo o matutunaw na lang 'to sa kamay ko?"

Sinamaan ko muna siya ng tingin bago iyon kinuha mula sa kanya. "I hate you."

Pero ang loko tinawanan lang ako. I stared at the cone on my hand. It's been a long time since I last ate a strawberry ice cream because I only ate vanilla these days.

"Your eyes are tired," Blaze spoke. "And who doesn't want a little cone of happiness to wash it away? Besides, everyone loves ice cream."

I blinked several times before I started eating. My face remained in a frown, but somehow, something within me melted along with the happiness I have in my hand.

"Not everyone does."

But I still wanted that vanilla.

***