Is this me noticing, that I don't get along with Saruron's character when writing Ellen and trying to solve this problem by making a charactersheet? No, actually not. It's me reading "The fall of Numenor", noticing, that I really want to draw Tar-Mairon with those awesome sleeves and taking the  chance of drawing the charactersheet I wanted to do for ages. Seriously, that's the third time I tried doing this and now it contains nearly all headcanons I have about Sauron. I really like the idea of him wearing a blindfold in the third age, though it wasn't my idea, but one I found online. And due to the light the colours don't seem as bright as they do in reality.

I think, it's really fascinating, how multifaceted this character is. Also, I noticed that he really has an interesting characterdevelopment. At first there is this whole thing about him wanting to order Middle Earth and I am convinced that he only aided Morgoth in his purpose of conquering Middle Earth, that he can order it after Morgoth has done the dirty work for him. And then he comes to Eregion as Annatar. He failes to corrupt Celebrimbor, loses the rings and suddenly is alone again. And then there is something very weird. In "The fall of Numenor" it gets noticable, that his primary purpose is to kill as many elves as possible. He only wants to destroy Numenor, despite the fact that there he would have all the power he'd  need to achieve the order he wants. That doesn't really make sence. What has happened, that he lost so much of something that was so fundamental for his character. I can't really prove it with the text, but I think, it was Celebrimbor. I mean, it is said in the charactersheet, but I want to explain it again: In my view Celebrimbor is a very kind, but confused person. He has been hurt before. He has lost alot and he had to make a decision that would change his life for ever.
Also, he expresses his feelings throuh his works, rather then by words. That is seen in his interaction with Galadriel. There is one scene, when he talks to he, but usually he forges little gifts for her to show his affection. Also, he kind of has an obsession with crafting, which he can't fight, but of which he feels, it would seperate him from others.
Just as Mairon had in Valinor.
Only that Celebrimbor is good. He is so purely good. He wants to give his creations instead of demanding affecetion and sometimes he is rewarded. With a smile by Galadriel, with Elrond spending time with him. All those happy moments Annatar will never have, because despite his lack of ability to social interaction he has chosen the path of Morgoth. Destruction and absolutism instead of kindness and generousity.
He sees, how happy Tyelpe is. He sees that the path he has chosen can't be good, can't be justified, can by no means be forgiven. An idea that is supported by Tyelp rejecting him after finding out, who he is. Maybe, if Celebrimbor had accepted the mistakes of his past and tried to make him change his mind for the better he would have been able to turn away from the path Morgoth has lain for him (no blame on Celbrimbor, though. That guy was manipulated, betrayed and tortured and doesn't have any responsibility for Sauron's actions).
Anyway, Sauron sees how his life could have been but also sees, that he is irredeemable. Still, Tyelpe is a vision of a life he can't have, but wants nevertheless. It makes him weak and because he can't have it, he sees no other option, but to go on with the path Morgoth/fate has lain for him, knowing that it will destroy him but thinking he couldn't be saved. But Tyelpe prevents him from that, makes him want to stop doing evil, so he gets rid of him, kills him what feels like killing himself. Killing the last chance of a good life he might have had.
This is, what causes his fall. He knows, he can't be saved. He knows, he will have to live his life in unhappyness ending with him being punished by the Valar. This knowledge drives him mad. He is furious and puts his wrath on the Numenoreans. He desperately searches for something that could guide him after having lost his purpose (order and perfection) and finds it in the worshipping of Melkor, who has caused his downfall.He keeps fighting without a goal or clear purpose, because he has to do something to even get the feeling of doing something that would allow him to escape his doom, knowing that he can't. 

Did I once say you should never leave me allone with time and equipment for writing? Well, I say it again. This is by no means written like an appdopriate characterisation as we learned it at school. Never mind. Gratulations if you have read the whole gext XD

You'll read from me,
Alice 🙃