CHAPTER TEN:
CHAPTER SEVEN

Fortunately for everyone involved, the rest of the week went smoothly.

Well, if you call the Devil running around charming mostly everyone smoothly (mostly everyone because Mr. Gail has a personal grudge against Ms. Lucifer and no one knows why, not even him I'd wager).

Clint had taken to sudden 'sneak' attacks from the vents and always faceplanted on the floor with a smug Lucifer looking down at him. Tony was never seen without a glass in his hands --but don't let that fool you, it was just sparkling water-- and Pepper had to be held back by Natasha and Vision to stop her from killing Tony. And Peter had been bugging everyone about the Vampires from chapter seven and no one was safe.

No one, nowhere.

Clint woke up from his very nice nap in the vents, stretched, and then screamed.

"Mr. Barton, did you know Ms. Lucifer knows vampires?" Peter's smiling face asked him, head up in the vents with the rest just hanging.

"WHAT IN THE HOLY NAME OF ENCANTO-- where did you come from!"

Peter innocently pointed down.

"You have to stop doing that or soon there will be no avengers to defend ear-" he squinted suspiciously, "Did you say Lucifer knows real ass vampires?"

After that, there were two people bugging everyone about the vampires from chapter seven.

Lucifer was unbothered, mostly because Peter and Clint were too scared to annoy her directly, and even when the others would come to complain about the aptly named terror twins, she would just shrug and go back to her texting.

Who was she even texting?!

In the end, the earth's mightiest heroes decided to face the devil and fight her with their best recourses.

Bribing and begging.

They failed.

Peter and Clint counted this as a win but we're left crying when Lucifer told them her vampire friends woke up a week ago, forgot their vampires, and opened the curtains.

So no more vampires from chapter seven. For now.

Now with no one to bug, the tower had two very bored children. One could almost be considered an adult by human years but he did summon the devil so no points for him.

On that matter, Doctor Strange contacted them with the most amazing news.

He had run into some very powerful and knowledgeable people and had invited them over to the tower—without Tony's permission of course—to have a chat and if possible, shed some light on their situation.

Tony, predictably, wasn't happy about the invitation without the host's permission part but he had found Lucifer teaching Peter all the ways he could torture someone painfully while keeping them conscious and the boy was taking notes with a serious air around him, raising his hands and asking questions that made Lucifer smile proudly. So you can see how he'd overlook Strange's rude behavior in favor of getting rid of their pest problem.

。................✟............... 。

"Tony, have you seen my favorite arrow?" Clint asked as he walked into the kitchen, quiver on his back and bow in hand. They were the plastic type that were given to overeager children to keep them busy while mommy enjoyed her wine before something broke in the background and an innocent yell of "It wasn't me!"

Tony regretted buying them now.

"For the tenth time, no I haven't seen your favorite arrow which is ridiculous, who even has a favorite arrow?" Tony threw his hands in the air and glared at the archer.

Crossing his arms and huffing, Clint looked him straight in the eye, "You have a favorite screwdriver and once threatened everyone in the tower because you thought you had lost it while it was in your back pocket."

"That's different."

"It really isn't."

Lucifer walked into the room, "What's different?"

Clint glared at her and refused to talk to her. Earlier that day she had called him an unfunny fat little man and he was still sulking. (Yes, they were getting very creative with their insults now.)

"Having a favorite screwdriver isn't the same as having a favorite plastic arrow," Tony explained, "Tell him it isn't the same."

"It isn't the same," she said and poured herself some coffee. Children all around her.

Clint broke his silence and pointed a finger at Lucifer's back accusingly, "You're just saying that to not agree with me!"

"I honestly don't give a fuck."

"Like hell you don't—and now you're stealing my coffee! Tony, tell her to stop stealing my coffee or I'm taking out my hearing aids next time you need to whine."

"You already do it," Tony wanted to be anywhere but here. Why isn't god sending him a guardian angel to rescue him from this miserable life? Is God truly dead?

The elevator opened with a ding and the rest of the gang as Clint had taken to calling them came in and found a space to occupy in the living room.

Wanda and vision snuggled on the loveseat, Natasha took the uncomfortable chair no one sat on and started cleaning her guns, Bruce walked in awkwardly and kind of tried to disappear into the sofa but was unsuccessful. Steve found himself on the other end of the couch with Peter between them.

Clint flew away like a butterfly and set out to complain to Natasha about his horrible terrible conversation earlier. Tony and Lucifer just stood there, one drinking apple juice in whiskey glasses and the other drinking coffee straight from the pot.

The army wasn't really necessary, but they wanted to see the powerful and knowledgeable people Strange was going to bring.

They also needed to be in on the gossip.

Where's the tea at?

It wasn't long before a portal opened and Strange came through, gave them the brief warning "I can explain!" Before the powerful and knowledgeable people Strange knew stepped through.

Clint screamed and hid behind Lucifer, everyone else leaped to their feet and got into a defensive position.

"Hello," the god of mischief said with a small wave and a big smile on his face.

"Friends!" Thor shouted and opened his arms, ready for a hug.

Hela huffed at their behavior and crossed her arms, "Why am I here again?"

"Yes, you have some explaining to do," Lucifer's tone was absolutely livid and the three royal babies flinched. 

Slowly they turned to face her and paled.

"Talk. Now."

。................✟............... 。

Did I write bullshit without knowing what I wrote and just hoped for the best cause I just felt like writing after months of not being able to and then published that absolute disaster of a chapter? Yes, I did.

I'm going to change Clint to comic Clint cause comic Clint is obviously superior. I haven't read the comics but he seems the best version of Clint so we're going with that. Which means a ridiculous amount of coffee, sleep deprivation, and lots and lots of bandaids.

We have new characters! Hela, Thor, and Loki!
UwU

Hope they don't die

Also, fuck timeline and canon this is my world now and there is no law besides what I write.