CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:
THE TRAITOR

As it's been sometime, I would like to have a recap for both of our sakes. Last we heard Lucifer was the first godmother in the worlds, is super powerful but gets defeated by a pesky summoning spell and Peter's puppy eyes.

Everyone is fed up with Lucifer and the casual sacrifices she makes with Peter (bad influence), and hope to get rid of her asap (good influence). Tony is struggling with his very professionally acquainted intern and no personal feeling in there at all. Nope.

Clint has been left in the vents to die from a bullet gifted to him by super bro Bucky Barnes, who is "the broest bro to ever bro" as quoted by Steve, and is now being held in the tower's holding cell while the team tries to come up with something.

Back to the story, The Avengers and Co. decide to call Mr. Doctor (very strange name) to help ward the tower against HYDRA agents. Lucifer took it upon herself to offer her help and magic as well. Together, the duo decided to come up with a plan to layer some shields (hehe) around to stop HYDRA.

They made 10 in total, all ranging from a spell to subconsciously influence anyone with ill intention to go back, like they've forgotten something. Left the oven on, didn't lock their doors, the lights are still on in the house, that kind of stuff (This was Peter's suggestion because last week he binged Harry Potter). To such extreme spells such as shocking them with high voltage and then stunning them, locking them up with their top-notch handcuffs and assorted security measures and then knocking them unconscious.

Lucifer thought it would be better to just torch them until they closely resemble a burnt chicken. And then display their dead bodies in front of the tower so it can be a lesson to all other enemies, stay away from the sweet sweet puppy called Peter Parker. 

That got a very loud no from everyone in the room—including Natasha and she's a bloodthirsty demon.

"I still think it would've been great if we'd added my little harmless spell."

"Lucifer, I have no respect for you at all, but I can feel it somehow going even lower—" Tony needed a drink, a very strong drink. Maybe they have something in the fridge?

"—You wanted to burn them!—" They have strawberry juice which he threw out and made FRIDAY do an investigation to find out who bought them so they can be terminated. Pepper is allergic, you ignorant fools!

"—And then display them like a grotesque art gallery!"

"Just a small show of power, my dear," Lucifer swirled her glass of wine as she kicked back her feet and relaxed on Stark's comfy sofa.

Oh, look! Orange juice, the best drink ever besides cold home water. Water everywhere else tastes weird, only home water is good and you can't change Tony's mind. He tried water at Rhodey's place and let me tell you, never again. He's traumatized.

Peter, that traitor, was sitting next to Lucifer and chatting almost aggressively on his phone. His friends probably. He huffed which prompted Lucifer to reach out a hand without looking and petting the puppy on the head. Said puppy smiled and calmed down.

Like Tony said, traitor.

"Mr. Stark," The Traitor looked up, "Can I invite Ned and MJ over this week?"

"While we have the literal devil on our hands?"

"Yes."

"And the Winter Soldier locked in our basement?"

"Yes."

"And with Clint haunting the vents? Where is Clint, by the way?"

"He's on bedrest but I think he escaped and is attacking unassuming staff, but yes."

"Huh, FRIDAY please send out a memo warning everyone about an on the loose Clint."

"Gotcha."

"So can they come over?"

Tony drank his orange juice like it was a shot of vodka, "Yeah, sure tell them to come over tomorrow after school."

Lucifer groaned, "Do I have to go to school?"

Peter threw his hands up, "Thank you! An adult who hates going to school."

Tony, as unusual as he was, shared some basic traits with the common man, one being his hatred for school, but as he had promised May, he was trying to be a better influence on his son-INTERN, JUST AN INTERN! (Autocorrect, why do you do this?) So he put his empty glass in the dishwasher and confidentially said, "School is an integral part of your education. If you want to get into any good school you need to have the proper education."

Peter stared, "Mr. Stark, yesterday you cursed my physics teacher for 2 hours for his, and I quote "goldfish sized brain and that's an insult to all goldfish!", and may I remind you that you went to MIT and graduated at 17?"

Traitor.

"Don't worry kid," A head —attached to the body, fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on who you ask)— popped out of the closest vent, "He's just trying to apply what he learned from his parenting books."

Tony gasped, "I do not read parenting books."

'How to parent your genius arachnid superhuman child in 10 easy steps for dummies. (Not clickbait!)' was thrown onto the table.

"Sir, Mr. Barton broke into your room's vent and stole your parenting book that you told me not to mention to anyone from your bedside table and is now in the main living room," FRIDAY informed them.

Traitors, all of them.

"Yeah, thanks for warning me in advance Fri."

"No problemo."

Who taught her how to be Gen Z? Probably Vision, dudes a walking talking robot Gen Z.

Lucifer raised her hand, "Back to the important stuff, that being me, do I have to go to school?"

"Do you have classes?"

"Perhaps."

"Then yes."

The devil groaned.

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The next morning is brought to you by our sponsor, the devil. As such, it's hell (Not to be confused with Hell).

Peter was once again drowning his pancakes that Steve has so graciously made for everyone. Lucifer had come to appreciate the wonders of coffee and was now on her 15th cup. (disclaimer: she's the Devil, as a medical professional who graduated top of her class from the university of House M.D, I would like to advise against consuming the same amount. Healthline.com  says "people must limit their coffees to fewer than six cups a day" so lf not me, listen to them.) Clint —after they got him down from the vents and had to redo the stitches last night— was trying to compete with her, further proving his incompetence.

Tony was leaning back against the chair with his sunglasses on. Steven looked behind the dark lenses and saw Tony was discreetly taking a nap. The snore he gave out in the middle of breakfast gave him away but they all decided to ignore him.

The rest of The Avengers were either still asleep, trying to meditate, guarding The Bro, or MIA (Natasha went out shopping).

"Peter is bringing his friends over today, Stark," Lucifer reminded the very-awake-but-not-really billionaire while looking at Steven, who sighed, nodded, and said he'll remind him when he's awake.

School was school.

Flash was an asshole, MJ mostly ignored them while hanging out with them (very confusing), Ned gushed over coming over—

("DUDE!"

"I know."

"The Avengers!"

"I know."

"The Devil!"

"She's our history teacher, you see her almost everyday, why are you excited?"

"Eh, she's not very devily (he made some horn gestures with his hands) in school, so..."

"...she literally threatened Mr. Gail today because he breathed too loud from the other side of the door."

A long pause, "Dude, The Devil!")

— and Peter being excited to have his friends over for the first time.

Happy, the not so happy bodyguard/babysitter/bestie, was supposed to pick them up today, but Steven thought it would be better if the (paternal) mentor went out to pick up his (son) mentee and assorted friends and Devil.

Who's Tony to argue?

So Peter pushed the gasping Ned and the slightly impressed MJ into the back and climbed in with them while Lucifer took her usual seat and immediately started arguing with Stark.

"Like I was saying, it's an absolute travesty to have such people in the tower. Might I recommend a change? I can finance everything and I'll get you the replacement myself."

Tony blinked, "I literally have no idea what you're talking about! Peter?"

"Don't bring me into this!" He hid behind MJ, who was thinking of how they sounded like a married couple with their kid.

The Devil huffed, "Last week's discussion!"

"That was a week ago!"

"Exactly!"

Ned whispered to Peter, "Are they always like this?"

Peter nodded.

"Who do you even want to replace in the tower?"

"The abomination, of course!"

Of course. Clint going around being a homewrecker. Shame on you Clint, dishonor on your cow!

"This is gonna be awesome," Ned whispered with a grin, got a nod from MJ and Peter looked like he wanted to jump out the window.

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BONJOUR MA DUDES

How are you all? Hope you're all well.
Sorry for the wait, I'm trying to update more regularly but university and work are holding me hostage.
Send help.

Anyways, I'm making a list of things you've said you wanted in the comments so if there's a trope or specific thing do let me know and I'try and add it into the story.

Clint is still a menace, Pete is still adorable and Tony is so done.

The parenting book is actually real and you can find it online if you want, here's the cover so you can find it. :)

Blint Carton (not to be mistaken with Clint Barton) is a phenomenal writer with amazing books such as this and the "devil doesn't like to go to school and teach history (talking to you stark) (not clickbait)."Def recommend.

Anyways, see ya in 6 months?
LOVE YA BYE