CHAPTER ELEVEN:
PANTHEON CROSSOVER

"Talk. Now."

The children of Odin looked at each other, with clear panic on their faces.

Here were three of the strongest beings the avengers have ever known and they were afraid.

Thor took a step back and unsuccessfully hid himself behind his brother while Hela stared at the floor like a scolded child.

Actually, they all looked like children who'd been caught doing something they shouldn't have done and are now waiting on a long and painful lecture.

"I said now," Lucifer growled making a shiver run up everyone's spine.

"Ah, what a wonderful coincidence running into you-" Loki tried to charm the angry devil but one glared silenced him. Thor nudged him making the god of mischief scowl at him and stepped to the side, leaving Thor open for Lucifer's vicious glare.

"Either talk now or..." she left the threat hanging which in Tony's opinion made it work better than it should've. Remind him to remind FRIDAY to remind him to note it down.

"We..." Hela spoke for the first time making her younger siblings inch closer to her, ready to use her as cover if— no when things turned bloodied, "We apologize."

"For?"

The avengers and non-avengers watched with disbelief. Tony was so close to asking FRIDAY if they were all having a mutual hallucination or if this was actually happening.

Bets on rogue drug gone sentient from HYDRA trying to avenge its fellow drugs by driving the avengers either mad, or kill via heart attack.

"For..." Hela looked at the others, "Loki?"

Loki cleared his throat, "yes, we apologize for the thing."

"What thing?"  Lucifer crossed her arms.

"And Thor will tell you all about the thing," Loki said with fake confidence.

Said man glared at his brother before looking at Lucifer with a pained small," the thing where we did the thing."

The devil looked at them for longer than it was comfortable before sighing, "you have no idea, do you?"

The three shook their heads.

Wow. Ok.

"Sit, before you pass out from panicking," the devil directed them to vacant seats and sat on the couch facing them, with Peter awkwardly by her side. The others had all stood up from their previous positions and were in a confused standing position where they didn't know what to do. Attack? Attack the three powerful gods? Run? And where exactly would they run to?

"What is happening?" Tony finally asked.

Lucifer rubbed her eyes w her thumb and fore forefinger, "Sit down Strange, and don't even think about portaling away."

Strange froze with his arms ready to open a portal and sat down on the nearest surface: the armrest of Clint's chair.

They did an awkward nod of the head hello thing and went back to staring at the devil and three gods.

What a pair.

"I assure you gudmor, whatever you think we've done we haven't done it."

"So you're telling me you three didn't start arguing over who's worse, didn't end up bringing up the apocalypse, going to Sakaar, tearing up the place, destroying half the royal gardens, and then lied about it to your mother saying it was me?!"

Hela shifted in her place, "Well you did destroy half of the royal gardens once on a dare—"

"And then there was that once or 24 times, not that I'm counting, that you visited another planet and destroyed their royal gardens," Thor added unhelpfully.

"I just want you to know I love you and I'll help you destroy the next royal garden," Loki pleaded.

What the fuck was happening?

"Why do you hate royal gardens?" Peter asked, for once someone besides the four joining the conversation actively and not just say 'whathefuckwhatthefuck-'

"Too much green," Lucifer muttered darkly, "reminds me of that bitch Eve."

"Adam and Eve?" Steve joined the conversation too.

Thor laughed, "Adam! Now that was a good lad."

"Shut up, you've never even met the guy," the god of mischief growled.

"He sounds charming from gudmor's stories."

Tony made a T with his hands, "Time out!" When that got the attention of everyone he continued, "Someone explain."

Stranger cleared his throat, "These were the people I was talking about. I mostly wanted to contact Hela but the other two insisted on coming. Something about seeing Bruce?"

At the name the scientist tried to become one with his chair and the god of thunder brightened up, "Ah! Friend Banner! It's so nice to see you again, Valkyrie has been asking after you. Don't tell her I said this but I think she misses training with you."

Bruce smiled awkwardly, "I'll try and stop by."

"You even had the Valkyrie and you still did that stupid thing?!"

Thor winced, not a good idea to mention Valkyrie.

"How do you know them?" The little spiderling by Lucifer's side asked, curiously looking from the three in front of him with excitement to Satan.

"I am their gudmor, or in your tongue, godmother."

There was silence for exactly 3 seconds—Tony counted— before everyone began screaming and shouting and crying.

Ok, that was an exaggeration but you get the idea.

Clint stood up, nearly knocking Strange off his place on the armchair, and pointed a finger at Lucifer, "So that's why they're all Fucking crazy!"

Lucifer scowled, "No it's just in their gene. Their mother was a troublemaker in her youth. Must've passed down on them."

Tony side-eyed Peter. Thank god he wasn't his biological kid or he'd have to worry about his own genes messing up the kid.

Wanda leaned against Vision, "I can't believe the devil is the godmother of three Nordic gods."

"I didn't know pantheons had crossovers, as teenagers call them."

She gave him a weird look but then went back to the chaos. He was the internet he was bound to use slangs like a teenager seeing how the world was being overtaken by them and soon nothing would be left but Fortnite dances and spoilt kids asking their parents to spend thousands on a skin or whatever is on the shop that day.

Shuddering, she banished those thoughts and paid full —and this time she really did— attention to the chaos.

Hela huffed and crossed her arms, "There are still complaints regarding your adventures."

"So," Steve looked between them, "You were... what? Friends with their mother?"

"I'm their mother's legal guardian."

"So," Clint looked between them, "Having Lucifer as a family member is like...tradition?"

"No, back then they were a new pantheon in need of help and I came across Frigga's parents by accident," Lucifer crossed her arms, and across from her, the three royal babies sat listening with all their being, "I helped them settle down and in doing so became close friends with them. Before passing they named me Frigga's guardian—and unknowingly, I became world's first godmother—and after the birth of Hela I was once again given the name."

"Wow," was all Tony could say.

No, what else was he supposed to say after finding out the devil was the world's first godmother and had a hand in raising the queen and the princess and princes of Asgard?

Just wow.

Anything else is false and invalid.

They moved on from that conversation but not without stealing looks at the group of four chatting and bantering. It was weird to even think of what had happened. Since when does Lucifer go around and just acquire children on a whim and then parent them? How is this his life?

Suddenly, a movement from The Four caught his eyes and to his horror, he saw Peter go and sit next to Lucifer, who introduced them to each other and the young spider began to geek over them.

Since when did Lucifer start stealing his son— PROTEGE, he meant protege. Damn, autocorrect.

。................✟............... 。

Thought process behind this:
-who would strange go to for magic advice?
-prob Asgard
-then we can bring in Loki!
-wait if Loki comes then Thor has to come to
-where are we timeline wise? Who cares lol
-Hela is here too
-ok so all 3 Asgard babies are here
-quick brain, give me something ridiculous
Brain: godmother ✨
-thank you