CHAPTER EIGHT:
HELLO WELCOME TO HELL

If nothing, Lucifer was efficient.

In the short window of time she had left, she located Dell, asked him nicely to quit his job and offer her as a substitute -seeing as it was the middle of the term- and possibly take a vacation to Canada.

Julius Dell preferred to go to somewhere like where world war III took place -History teachers, am I right?- but when faced with the devil's red eyes and disembodied growls coming from somewhere in the room-

He couldn't wait to see a moose.

Lucifer returned on her own, no portals needed, and after checking up on the sleeping child plus kicking the archer off the couch, went to the room which was given to her and decided to rest.

For once, the morning started normally, meaning no screams from a vent crawler nb (the nb was typed by my dog walking on the keyboard so I'm keeping it) or Tony Stark running away in horror after his baby bots tried to feed him gasoline. 

Just a perfect, ordinary morning.

Well, if you ignore them being superheroes with superpowers and not to mention the literal devil.

Besides that, yes. Normal.

Lucifer sipped her tea and looked at Peter, who was devouring a giant stack of pancakes drenched in maple syrup.

"Your pancakes are drowning," Lucifer commented making Peter look up at her with sleepy eyes.

"If I can't drown and die, then my pancakes will have to do," and then poured more syrup.

Stark made a choked sound and then looked at Peter with concerned eyes.

Lucifer just nodded, finding it reasonable, and then turned to face Stark, "I have dealt with Dell, he's no longer a problem."

Peter looked up momentarily, "Did you kill Mr. Dell?"

"Not yet."

"It's okay if you do, he gave me a B," He stabbed his pancakes with a dark expression.

Stark pointed a finger at Lucifer, "Do not kill Dell," and then turned to Peter, "Murder is not okay, we do not condone it even if they've given you a B."

"But you kill," Lucifer pointed out.

The genius glared at her for daring to question his parenting, "Do as I say, not as I do."

Lucifer looked at Peter and shook her head and mouthed 'no'.

Peter nodded and gave her a thumbs up and mouthed 'got it'.

Stark looked at them both and once again glared at the devil, "You're a terrible influence, look at what you've done to the smol bean!"

Both looked at Peter who was pouring more syrup and muttered softly to his pancakes, "Die, be free. Do what I couldn't do."

Rolling her eyes, Lucifer sipped her tea and pointed a finger at Peter, "That's completely normal."

Tony groaned, "I need you gone asap."

。................✟............... 。

The weekend was spent researching ways to send the devil back to hell and the most they did was undercover a secret cult and how little humans knew about ways of returning the devil back to hell.

The cult was handled with almost no trouble-

( "I refuse to believe the devil, our lord, is a woman!" The cult leader shouted.

Lucifer rolled her eyes, "And I refuse to accept sheep as sacrifices, they're cute and should not be killed."

"You weak-minded fool-" )

And the cult members scattered easily and their leader is now in prison for many offenses.

( "Why did you build an army of frogs?" Lucifer was close to crying. In all her years she refused to cry,  but this-

This made her almost sob.

"It says in the Stitle."

Tony robbed Lucifer's back sympathetically, he wouldn't wish this on his worst enemies.

On second thoughts, maybe Justin Hammer did deserve this- )

For the matter of knowledge on the devil, Well, let's just say there should be more research condoned. It's embarrassing how their only source is devilcompelsuwu.com and the only thing on there is just...

Tony nearly threw away the laptop.

That site did what torture didn't do, it made him seek therapy.

(The site for reference^)

In the end, Tony stumped like a kid and declared this a matter of magic importance, and proceeded to call their local Harry Potter.

Said Harry Potter rolled his eyes when he received Stark's whiny call and opened a portal for a walk that would take, what the author would like to consider, the maximum of an hour.

Lucifer was sitting crisscrossed on the floor with a pentagram drawn around her, candles (not Gwyneth's candles) were lit here and there and her hands were red with food coloring.

Tony's hoping that's food coloring.

"Stark."

"Strange."

Lucifer hummed, "What's strange?"

"His name," Tony invited Stephan to take a seat with a nod of his head.

"That's not very nice to say."

The billionaire rolled his eyes, "Dumbledore, meet Forky."

Lucifer stood up and offered her hand -her food coloring dripping hand- for a handshake, "Mr ?"

"Doctor," Stephan gave her a short but firm handshake.

"Mr. Doctor?"

Stephan sighed, here we go again, "it's Strange."

"I've heard stranger."

Of course, Lucifer knew who was in front of her, demons and magic are closely connected so when there's a new sorceress supreme they're gonna know. Also, Kaecilius had a lot on his chest. It took her threatening to take away his makeup kit for him to finally shut up about that one time Mister Doctor did this and that.

But she's a child at heart. Very deep, deep, down in her heart.

Tony laughed to himself before informing Strange of what happened and how they're stuck with the devil.

Stephan hummed, "did you try looking up the net-"

"Yes, we did and I'm traumatized."

Lucifer flipper her hair, "That was almost flattering if it wasn't that horrible."

The sorceress hummed again before doing some magicy stuff around Lucifer, muttering 'interesting' here and there, and even asked for a strand of her hair.

She gave him three.

Finally, with the examination over, Doctor Strange said this needed more research and then left.

No goodbyes, just straight up opening portals and leaving.

Very rude.

Besides the good doctor's visit, nothing interesting happened.

Peter finished the rest of his homework with the help of Lucifer and Tony tried to make sense of what he could find online with Vision and FRIDAY.

Spoiler: nothing besides more horrifying sites came up.

In the end, it was decided to wait and see what the other could come up with.

In the meantime, Midtown High has a new history teacher to deal with.

BONJOUR

SORRY I'M SO LATE I'VE BEEN BUSY WITH ADULT LIFE
*HYSTERIC LAUGHTER*

Here's a short chapter, sorry I was working on that site thingy.

Next chapter we'll be dealing with teacher Lucifer.

Drop your suggestions for future chapters!

Love ya! Stay safe
(*≧ω≦)