“Jesse, can I talk to you?” I asked.

We'd spent the entire drive over to the church sat in a tense, uncomfortable silence. I'd been mulling over how best to breach the subject of the letter and my suspicions about Eric with him. I hadn't really come up with any good solution, but I'd also run out of potential 'alone time' with the man sat beside me.

Really I wanted to talk him sooner rather than later, allow time for the seeds of suspicion I was going to plant to take root and germinate before the opportunity to act presented itself. But, early as we had arrived at the church, there was already a steady trickle of people filtering through the large wooden doors, like it was some kind of macabre show – come early to be sure you get the best seat.

“Well yeah,” he said, an exaggerated frown wrinkled his brow, “you don't exactly need to ask permission.”

I couldn't help the smile that crept to my lips, even despite everything that was going on he could still manage to crack a joke; I wondered if what I had to tell him would kill that quality.

“No, I mean there is something I want to talk with you about, privately, so y'know before we get out of the car?”

“Okay...that sounds serious...” The frown on his face this time was genuine.

I still wasn't certain if there was a right way to go about this, so decided to just jump right in with both feet and hope for the best.

“Well, now don't get pissed off with me but, while you were at the trade centre yesterday, I kinda had a bit of a snoop around inside Eric's house.”

“You did what? Why?” He hadn't shouted at me which was a start, he even sounded mildly curious which I took for a good sign.

I shrugged. “I dunno, I was there alone and just couldn't help myself. I wanted to find out some more about Eric. He's just so...vile and unpleasant. From everything you've told me about your sister, I just can't understand what she ever saw in him, so I wanted to see if I could find some redeemable feature somewhere I suppose.”

Jesse nodded as if he understood my intentions, but I couldn't help but feel he didn't quite get what I meant – either that or my lie just wasn't particularly convincing.

“So, did you find anything?” It might have been the only appropriate question that popped into his head at that moment, but I also knew how much he disliked Eric, how curious he must have been about what I'd managed to dig up which overpowered any desire he may have had to reprimand me for my actions.

“Nothing that I liked much, nothing that changed my opinion of him anyway. Just some weird stuff.”

“Weird stuff? Care to elaborate on that?”

I took a deep breath, now we were onto the nitty gritty of it. “Just some things that made me wonder is all. Eric's work contract was open on the desk in the office, on the pages about misconduct and dismissal, and there were a load of law books sat with it. I think he's worrying about the security of his job for some reason, so I got a bit more curious about that and started to dig about in the filing cabinets. A whole months worth of his expense records are gone.”

“Well, he doesn't travel every month, so there just might not be any...”

“Yeah, that's what I thought too. But the other files are all there, empty, but still there. November was gone completely.”

Jesse frowned, “Okay, so that is kind of weird I admit. But why are you so interested in that? He's cocked up at work and landed himself in some shit, so what? He probably deserves it.”

“I don't know, Jesse, I just get a bad feeling about him. I've known a lot of bad guys in my time, they give of a particular kind of vibe, and it practically pours out of Eric's every orifice.”

He sighed. “I know it's no secret I can't stand the man, Heather, but he's just a total tosspot, that's all. There's isn't anything, like, sinister about him...is there?”

Jesse tried to dismiss my thoughts with a shake of his head, but I could see it still turning around in his brain. I couldn't force him around to my way of thinking, he had to get there for himself, but I knew then that he was heading down the right path.

“Well, maybe. But I just can't help feeling he knows more about your sisters death than he's letting on.”

Jesse didn't reply. His brown eyes drifted towards the church, pinched slightly in the corners as if the glare from the non-existent sun was too bright.

“We should go inside, I don't want to be out here when they all turn up.”

“Sure.” I nodded, but I grabbed his arm just as he reached for the door handle to stop him. My other hand had slipped into my coat pocket for the letter. “Oh wait, just one last thing. I found this, it got delivered at the house yesterday. Sorry, I couldn't resist so I opened it.” I slipped the letter into his hand.

He unfolded the paper and frowned down at the words he didn't really understand. It's an appointment reminder for your sister, she was due to see a midwife next week.”

“Jen was pregnant?”

“Apparently so. I was wondering, do you think Eric even knew? I'd have thought he'd been a little more tore up, knowing he'd lost both his wife and an unborn child.”

“I dunno, but I'm sure as hell going to find out. I think you might be right, he knows more about this than he's letting on.”

* * *

The church was cold and uncomfortable. A dim light filtered in through the stained glass windows, dappling the high, hollow space with strange coloured shadows. We sat on one of the hard wooden pews, a couple of rows from the front of the congregation, and fidgeted. I clutched my jacket tightly around myself, trying hard not to shiver not only from the chill in the air but from the undeniable feeling I had in the pit of my stomach, the feeling that I really shouldn't be there.

I had no problem walking into that church, no great lightening bolt was shot down from the heavens to smite me where I sat or anything like that, but I knew I didn't belong in this place of faith and worship; I wasn't one of them. Faith, religion, spirituality, even simple morals and laws, they all equate to the same thing whichever one you choose to follow, all are a device to keep order in the world, to help the grand plan along its way and ensure that the balance of the world is kept as neat and orderly as possible. As a species, I was another device of this plan, another side to the very same coin, so there had been no issue when it came to taking my seat in that house of God.

My discomfort lay in the fact that over the years as civilisation developed, and new religions came along with them, people inevitably discovered small truths about the grand design of the world, and they adapted their faiths and ideas to try and better understand them - and to better take control.

This particular religion I was about to immerse myself in had developed their own views concerning my kind, and they were not favourable to say the very least. While I feared no holy retribution, that was not how this worked, I felt decidedly out of place sitting there waiting to immerse myself in prayer and hymns. I tried to remind myself that one did not have to follow a particular religion in order to attend a funeral service. It was tailored to the deceased and their family not all of the mourners, and that most amongst the gathering would probably never attend church again unless for a wedding, or yet another funeral. Still, it didn't sway the shivers that raced up and down my spine.

Jesse fidgeted too, though I knew that it would be for entirely different reasons than my own. He shifted in his seat, the hard wooden pews were not the most comfortable of places to sit, twisted his fingers together cracking his knuckles. The sound set my nerves on edge even more as it echoed in my ears like a gunshot. I nudged him with my elbow when finally I grew tired of jumping and shook my head.

“Can you stop doing that,” I whispered.

“Sorry,” he muttered.

Getting to the church so early had not really been the best of plans. Although the it was almost full, save for the front rows where the rest of the family would be seated once they'd followed the procession of the coffin down the aisle, there was still no sign of their arrival.

To occupy his hands, Jesse reached out for the embroidered prayer cushion that was set in the back of the pew in front of us. He twirled it between his fingers until it fell to the floor with a heavy thud, earning him some glares from the people around us. He ducked quickly to retrieve the cushion and set it back in its place, a slight flush on his cheeks. I struggled to hold back the nervous laughter that shook my shoulders, what the hell was wrong with the pair of us?

I met Jesse's eye and the laughter spilled from both of our lips, as much as we tried to stifle it. Thankfully, at the same moment, the organist started to play and the chief mourner made his slow progress down the centre of the church, top hat clasped in his hands and long tail coat swaying slightly from the motion of his walk.

The service began and we did manage to compose ourselves; though I made a point not to meet Jesse's eye again until the service was over. He soon lost himself in the words the vicar was saying about his beloved sister, and the grief overtook most other thoughts he might have had brewing in his mind. We stood as the hymns were sung, Jesse's lips moved along soundlessly to the words that meant nothing to him, while I couldn't bring myself to sing at all, it felt too wrong.

I spent most of the service glancing around me; mostly looking towards Eric to see how the grief was hitting him now that the time to say goodbye had finally come.

Maura, had slumped into Patrick's shoulder and she sobbed, quietly and with a strange amount of poise I would never have thought could come with crying. His had gently stroked her back in a soothing motion while he continued to try and remain composed, though I knew just how much relief he must have felt at seeing his wife finally let out some of that emotion. Eric, however, revealed nothing. He sat, almost statue like in his pew, back dead straight, head bowed for each prayer as was expected, but his face remained a mask of emptiness.

Once the sermon was over, Eric stepped out into the the aisle behind the coffin, just as cold and stoic as he had remained through the service. We were all headed out into the graveyard for the interment. Maura, sobbing into a handkerchief followed next with Patrick close behind. A few more relatives stepped out next before Jesse and I joined the stream. He clutched at my arm as if not to lose me in the crowd of people, and I smiled and patted his hand slightly. Perhaps the small comfort of my touch was a help. He'd held back any tears that might have threatened to fall throughout the service, but his face was pinched in a frown of despair, and something more brewed behind his eyes, particularly when he caught sight of Eric by the grave side.

Once all were assembled, the coffin was carefully lowered into the open grave and the final prayers of commitment were administered. Again I found myself searching the faces in the crowd, many heads bowed in reverence, but most lost in their own thoughts and placid expressions as they bid their own goodbyes to this woman, the prayers having little significance to them personally. Single roses were tossed on top of the coffin with a few muttered words and finally it all was over. The crowd began to disperse as Patrick reminded them all, in as loud and clear a voice as he could muster at that moment, about the local pub where the wake would be held for drinks and refreshments. It always seemed odd to me to hold a party after a funeral, but I supposed it did help to lighten the heavy atmosphere the service and burial created – besides it could be of benefit to me, I knew only too well how drink liked to loosen tongues.

Eric stayed by the side of the grave for longer than most, his face still blank and unreadable. Jesse was watching him from a few metres away. His expression, on the other hand was quite obvious.

“D'you know how good it would feel to just go and shove him straight into that hole,” he hissed at me in a low voice. “He's the one that really deserves to be buried.”

“Your mother would have a fit and you know it,” I said in response, trying to be somewhat light-hearted about his words. “I'm almost sorry I mentioned anything about him earlier, I mean you're probably right, he's probably just a tosspot.” A lie, I wasn't sorry at all and to know that he'd been obviously mulling things over as the vicar droned on, feeding those seeds of suspicion made me very pleased.

Jesse shook his head, “No, he's definitely hiding something. I mean look at him, does he even look the least bit distressed that he's just put his wife in the ground, not to mention his unborn child. That's not exactly the look of a distraught man right there now is it?”

“True,” I said, “even your mother finally let it out during the service, but I didn't see even a crack in his façade.”

Jesse looked strangely eager as I admitted what I had observed throughout the funeral, and it was a little unnerving to see such a look in his eye. I knew that to complete my case he had to be capable of committing a murder, I just didn't think it'd be so easy to find that lust in his eyes.

“Okay, so say he does know something, how exactly are we going to find out what that is? He's not exactly eager to talk to either of us.”

“I'll figure something out.” Jesse nodded to himself, so sure of his own capabilities.

He had this idea stuck in his head now and there was no way it was going to disappear, though I worried slightly that it might stop mattering to Jesse whether Eric was genuinely guilty of something or not, because it mattered to me a great deal.

A random murder just wouldn't cut it. If it was that easy I'd have convinced him to pick off some random stranger from the village and been done with this case long ago. No, there had to be a real cause, a real reason that wouldn't disjoint the rest of the balance. Murders were committed in life for all manner of reasons, eventually those reasons start to tip the balance and the guilty ones end up on my other list, but for the corruption to work the way it was intended the right person had to be on the receiving end of vengeance; it was the only way the delicate balance could be kept in line.

“I hope so. If he's guilty of anything he needs to pay for what he's done,” I said, looking Jesse hard in the eyes, “but knowing the truth is the most important. Let's face it, you won't find any peace until you know for sure.”