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Reviewer: sassy-weirdo

Reviewee: @UntarnishedForever

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Title: 5/5

The title is pretty interesting and intriguing. It definitely captures the readers' attention and makes them want to read it. I must admit, the first thing that came to my mind when I read the title and the subtitle was mafia romance but as I saw the tags, I understood it was something completely different. A very good choice of title and subtitle.

Cover: 3/5

The cover is attractive but I had to cut marks as the title looks extremely out of place. It isn't blended properly and the glow effect isn't very prominent. I liked the concept of using the colour maroon in the title and the subtitle is very neat. And what can I say about the face claim? It fits the description of Aster very well. Overall, the cover is pretty good but as I said, try changing the look of the title.

Maybe try something like this-

In the above pic, the glow is prominent and also it does not look faded.

Blurb: 9.5/10

The blurb is pretty well written. It is short and to the point. It makes the reader curious and makes the reader want to start reading the story at just that moment. This is a very unique and amazing quality and you've mastered it perfectly!

Opening chapter/ prologue: 9.5/10

The opening chapter is just jvhlewflcjewhqlhgv. It's mind-blowingly amazing. I literally thought the murder was happening in real when it was just a scene from a movie. You got me there ha! The part where Aster was trying to sink into the water was extremely vivid and was portrayed beautifully.

Grammar and vocab: 8/10

The grammar was good. There were some minor grammatical errors which I'm sure you'll understand if you go through the story. There's one thing I'd like to point out though, you have mixed up Jupiter/ Junior and James. There are times when 'James' should be written instead of 'Jupiter' or 'Junior'. I understand the urge to write Jupiter throughout the story, he's pretty cool after all but we do have to give poor James a chance don't we? XD

Writing style: 10/10

The writing style is amazing. I loved the imagery and the vivid descriptions. It seemed as if your hands had a mind of their own. It seemed as if your fingers had a mind of their own as if your words are the tributaries of the story. Keep up the good work!

Character development: 10/10

The character development was flawless. I loved how you expressed James' Aster's thoughts- the fear, the depression, the joy, the frustration, everything. I have literally no tips for improvement because there's nothing to improve. You did a fabulous job in this forte considering that it must have been extremely difficult not to get sidetracked while writing; especially since Aster's past and present are extremely difficult to imagine, much less write about.

Plot (like is it interesting and original): 10/10

The plot is 100% original and interesting. The mystery man, the game, Aster's past and Jupiter's cat's death are all so much in sync. The plot was very well thought out and has null plot holes.

Plot (like is it interesting and original): 10/10

The plot is 100% original and interesting. The mystery man, the game, Aster's past and Jupiter's cat's death are all so much in sync. The plot was very well thought out and has null plot holes.

Overall enjoyment: 5/5

I enjoyed the story a lot and can't wait to read more of it. The graphics are extremely well designed and the chapter names give me a feeling as if I'm playing the game already. This is definitely a story I'd suggest to anyone interested in the mystery-thriller genre. Your book's extremely underrated. Just a piece of advice before I take my leave, have fun and enjoy writing. Do not force yourself to update just because your readers are waiting <3

Total: 70/75