Reviewer: sassy-weirdo

Reviewee: Oizys604

Sorry for the delay! Hope it helps!

Title: 4.5/5

The title is quite intriguing and attracts the reader's attention. 

Cover: 2/5

The cover could've been better. It's too bright in the middle so nothing can be seen. I'd recommend using one of the other covers you made, though the text would look better if the font's changed so I guess you should request for a cover in a graphic shop.

Blurb: 9.5/10

The blurb is amazing. It's not too long or too short. It attracts the attention of the reader and also gives an overview of the book.

Opening chapter/ prologue: 3/10

The opening chapter isn't very appealing. There are a lot of grammatical errors and the same kind of sentences have been used over and over again. For example, instead of writing 'I started crying after that. My husband started comforting me but I kept on crying.' write 'I started crying after that. My husband tried to comfort me but it was of no use, I kept on crying, grieving for my daughter.'

Grammar and vocab: 3/10

There are a lot of grammatical and punctuation errors. I've noticed that most of your mistakes happen while you're using possessive pronouns. For eg- 'Chelsea's mom POV' isn't the right way to use the apostrophe. You're showing that it's Chelsea's mother's POV not that Chelsea is in possession of something called mom POV. Thus, it should be 'Chelsea's mom's POV'. There are several mistakes like these.

Another thing I've seen is that most of the time the names are written in small letters which isn't the way to write a name. Also, some of the words have been used repeatedly so I'd say go for synonyms of those words so as to avoid repetition.

Writing style: 3/10

The writing style needs improvements, I liked how you added pictures so that it's easier for the readers to imagine the situation but as I said, repetition of sentences is not a good thing as it gets most people irritated and is very unattractive. It doesn't help that it seems like you wrote the part just cause you had to/ cause someone forced you to. I don't have any suggestions for improvements here other than this- analyze other professional authors writing styles. It helps a lot.

Character development: 8/10

I liked how you expressed and justified Chelsea's thoughts and actions but I must admit that some parts seemed totally like fairy tales where things are very much unrealistic. Chelsea may be mature but how is it that she has a mafia? And if she does then shouldn't she be knowing that her brothers' run the mafia even if she didn't know they were her brothers, she should at least know who they are. There's also the thing about why she let herself be bullied when she could just as easily have run away as she's probably rich since mafias need a lot of money to run.

Plot (like is it interesting and original) : 5/10

The plot's interesting but some parts are very unrealistic and I don't mean the paranormal or fantasy unrealistic. I mean that those parts seem very absurd. So far, I've liked how the plot's going other than the few parts concerning Chelsea having a mafia.

Overall enjoyment: 2/5

I like the whole plot a lot but the grammar and writing style ruins the environment that's supposed to be created in the reader's mind when they're reading the story.

Total: 40/75