It's an early morning in Louisiana, preferably 9 in the morning. It's also September 20th, 2002. Keep that in mind, I don't know what importance this is, just keep it in mind. Okay so it's 9 in the morning, it's on September, and I'm such an ugly baby. Wailing with my wide mouth. My hair is thick atop my head. 

Anyways, I was just a very ugly baby. Dark black hair, with emerald green eyes. I came out of the womb sad and depressed, not happy or cooing or any of that shit that's in Pampers commercials. Yes, children, that is a lie. Your life is a lie. My dad wasn't in the hospital because he didn't want to pay child support for me. Thanks a lot dad, hope you read this. We've been playing hide and seek for almost 14 years, life's great. Still haven't found him.

So, we went home and the first thing I remember is getting dropped on my big ass head. My mom should've named me Tank. Anyways, after I got dropped on my head, I remember my mom letting out a piercing scream. She never cared for me, but still, great acting mom. My grandma heard my moms screams because she lived right next to us. My grandma, my dear old gram, ran in our house and slapped my mother in the face and told her to calm down. So, yep, great life.