"Ash. I have something to say." The car moved quickly but it felt like time had been slowed down. Bonnie sang and I couldn't stop crying,  it was time to explain why. Walking out of the building, I had just caught a glimpse of Clemont. His sister hugged the boy she loved and his sister laughed and patted their heads like they were playground children, which they were, in my corrupt eyes. Clemont. I walked to the car park with holes in my heart, but Ash didn't have the guts to fix them. Wondering. I was wondering what he was going to do, how he was going to react. Would he hit me? Would the tires stop their endless cycle of spin after spin? He had never laid a physical finger on me, before. Just silver words of his golden idol and how I was a silver one. But he would say sorry and call me 'babygirl' like I had been dreaming of at Bonnie's pure age. And that would make it all okay.

"Say it." There was a lump in his throat and might have been the knowledge of what's always been, or perhaps it was the constant stutter in his head of the things he knew he should have done. "Please." He was waiting. 

The forest at the side of the road grew taller with every time my heart pumped blood around my body and up to my weary mind. I felt a barely-there length of cement thrown upon Mother Nature's canvas growing thinner and thinner with every imperfect little bump. It wasn't just Ash - everyone was waiting. Everyone wanted to hear it. In my head, ghastly, little girls lined the dark, country road. All were blonde, all had blue eyes - but some were Serena and some wore the potential energy of 'Bonnie'. Little girls, like the daughter Ash and I were going to have some day, the one I would name Bonnie after Clemont's baby sister.  And they all screamed. "We're gonna end up like you, Serena! You!" It wasn't just Ash who wanted me to spit those fucking words out, it was them.

They were my memories. My first kiss at the airport. My miscarriage.

Nobody had known I was pregnant. I was considering abortion at first because I was only seventeen and this was before we had even gotten married. "Do you remember Bonnie? Bonnie Heliotrope?" Heliotrope represented eternal love, we liked how it sounded. Picking middle names and all had made me so infatuated with the idea of becoming a mother, despite me just leaving school, that I wanted to keep her. I had thought about everything. But not about what I would do if I ended up with a boy, heh. But Bonnie Heliotrope Ketchum would be perfect, like a flower, graceful and shining with hope. Heliotrope; eternal love. 

The lump in his throat wasn't there anymore. "I do."

"I feel like for so long, she, losing her," I hesitated, "was the glue holding us together. And seeing Bonnie Bergamot, tonight... I can't forget her."

"Is that why you were crying? You were thinking about baby Heliotrope?" He reassured me, "Serena, it's only been two years. We can still bring a kid into the world, this isn't the end, it's far from it."

"But it is." Life, it had been getting slower and slower around the car which didn't feel capable of stopping. "I had sex with Clemont." The car didn't stop.

"I trusted you." That was all Ash said. "When did it happen?"

"His birthday, when you and Bon were both gone."

"So I left and we thought Bonnie was dead, so you decided to jump on his dick?"

"I'm sorry."

"I can't sleep in the same bed as you, tonight." This was me, I had been living in fast motion. I was nineteen, but I was married, I had betrayed my husband and I had lost a baby. Baby Heliotrope. We had called 'Bonnie Heliotrope' that. But then I lost her. And only Ash and I knew. After that, we were golden. Things were looking up, and we were going to try for another baby as soon as Ash's financial problems worked themselves out, which we were sure they would do. Eventually. 

But now it was just... Nevermind. "I understand." But as long as Bonnie Bergamot wasn't going to end up like me, I would be able to sleep soundly, once again. "I'll leave for Kalos, soon."