Fawkes: (writing on Hedwig's page) I'm sorry, Hedwig. I've got some bad news for you. I couldn't find Dumbledore anywhere in Hogwarts, not even in the toilets! Since I can't get permission from him to stay in the owlery, I'm afraid you'll have to confront Salazar!

Hedwig has joined this chat. She has just had an argument with Harry that she should be able to stay in his room without stealing Salazar's sweets, but Harry didn't agree. 

Hedwig: Not a good excuse, Fawkes! You can still protect me in the owlery if Dumbledore isn't here! I don't care if he gets angry when he comes back to the school. Harry just told me that he won't let me in his room unless I get Draco's lollies, and I am even more FURIOUS! (screeches in anger)

Fawkes: I am not willing to betray my master. How about you stay in the girls' bathroom with Moaning Myrtle? No-one ever goes in there except for Ron, Harry, and Hermione. It is very unlikely that Salazar would have any access to that room. 

Hedwig: Seriously, Fawkes?! I've heard of Moaning Myrtle,she likes Harry too so  I do NOT want to live with her! And why would boys go into a girls' bathroom?

Fawkes: It's your decision. Go fight Salazar to live in Harry's room, or stay in the girls' bathroom and argue over who should have Harry.

Hedwig: Well, I don't like any of those choices. PLEASE could you defend me from Salazar in the owlery, even just for a few days? I don't want to get attacked by him again!

Fawkes: : I cannot do that until Dumbledore returns!

Harry Potter has joined this chat. 

Harry: It would be great if Fawkes could stay with Hedwig, but Dumbledore won't return until next month! I recommend you get the lollies from Draco's owl, and then we both get rewards! (thinking: I'm going to get loads of lollies!) 

Hedwig: It would be much better living with you than Moaning Myrtle! I suppose I'll just have to beat up Salazar like an ace and make sure he doesn't get me! (thinking: HIIIIIIIIYAAAAAA!!!) And by the way, thank you Fawkes. You've been really helpful. 

Fawkes: You're a queen of sarcasm as well as a queen of drama! (thinking: If this owl gets wounded again, I really, really hope someone else deals with her complaints...)

Fawkes has left this chat. He is glad to leave Hedwig.

Harry: I don't think Salazar will be able to harm you if you are very quick. I know you can do it, Hedwig. 

Hedwig: I can't always be fast in flight, and you're not making me feel any more relaxed about doing this! Are you becoming like Fawkes, who is so difficult?

Harry: I think you're acting like Moaning Myrtle! Like her, you're always complaining!

Hedwig: That's because I almost  never get what I want! (cracks the computer screen with her claws in fury) 

Hedwig has left this chat. She will really, actually unleash her revenge on Salazar's owl this time... ( and steal his lollies)