36 // ADDISON


The darkened corridor stretched ahead on an incline that grew steeper the further we walked. It was as wide and as tall as the great doors of the hall we'd left behind us, befitting the size of Kong and making me feel small and mouse-like, particularly when flanked by Blake and his two Demon guards. The smooth walls and ceiling were curved and segmented, like we were walking inside the belly of some huge worm-like beast and not a corridor at all. Dull lights moved under the surface, like fireflies bobbing under the skin, illuminating the strange walkway just enough for me to still see the hard lines of Blake's face as he walked alongside me.

The growing heat was sticky and uncomfortable, like the sudden rush of a bad pill, and perspiration itched the skin on the back of my neck. I longed to reach up and wipe it away, almost as much as I longed to grab Blake's wrists and make him burn.

No one had said a word since Blake had told me Addi was looking forward to seeing me, but inside my head it was crammed full of voices, all talking at once, a tide of rising panic that I was desperately trying to hold at bay. Despite how much I wanted to see Addi, I'd taken no comfort from what Blake had said. The glint of amusement in his dark eyes had set my already-frayed nerves splitting apart at the seams, because there was something in there that told me he wasn't planning on gifting us a happy reunion here. I was learning fast that there was alwaysa double message in everything Blake said, and it was one thing for me to be on the receiving end of his fucked-up games, but not Addi. All that Addi had ever done was walk into the crossfire, all that he had ever done was be a bystander to my screwed-up life and he'd paid for it ever since. The thought that Blake might have hurt him, stirred something dark and feral in the pit of my stomach, something that felt alien and yet so much a part of me and who I was, that it made me wonder what I could be truly capable of, given half the chance.

I held onto that thought as we walked, hoping it would encase my heart in a layer of steel and stop it from hammering so furiously in my chest.

'Where are we going?' I said finally.

'I told you,' Blake replied. 'We are going to see your friend.'

'Yeah, but where is he? Where are you holding him? Like a prison or something?'

Blake's mouth twitched. 'He is being held in a secure facility.'

'So, a prison then? You've got him locked up in a prison cell?'

'Well, he cannot come and go as he pleases, but I wouldn't use the term prison cell.'

I pressed my lips together, the anger simmering under the surface. We carried on walking, the silence hanging like glass in the air, fragile and easy to shatter.

'You think we are monsters, Miss Brogan.' It wasn't even a question. It was a statement of assumed fact, delivered in his usual calm, maddening tone.

I huffed a sharp exhale. 'I don't know what you are. I've seen first-hand what the Angels can do and when I met Ethan, and he explained everything to me, I came to understand things aren't anything like what we've been led to believe. I get why you would want to destroy them. I just think you're lying through your teeth about what you want out of it. I mean, if you want to be tyrannical bastards and you're willing to do whatever shit you have to do in order to achieve that, at least have the balls to be upfront about it. That's one thing I learnt from Oscar. He's a nasty piece of work, but at least he doesn't smash your kneecaps to bits and then claim he's Mother Theresa.'

Blake arched one brown and tilted his head to one side.

'A colourful way of putting it,' he said. 'But, I feel you do the Shedim a misjustice. We are not Berith, and Berith's way of doing things has very much been shaped by his many lives. He is more human now than anything, and besides, his intentions are hardly noble. There is no greater cause with Berith, simply a desire to satisfy his own needs. He cares very little for anyone other than himself.'

'He helped you out,' I said, sharply. 'He sold his friends' son to help your cause, remember?'

Blake laughed, and the noise wasn't unpleasant, a chuckle that warmed his face and brought light to his eyes. 'Miss Brogan, you seem to think you understand Berith very well, but please don't be fooled by his apparent loyalty to our cause, as you say. Not once in his very long life has Berith ever committed a selfless act. Not once has he ever done anything unless it benefitted him in some way, and trust me, by aligning himself with the Shedim, he is benefitting.'

'In what way?'

'Like I said, Berith is a selfish man – and I say man, in the loosest of terms, of course, because he is not one – but he is also not foolish. He knew that Helel would come to us in the end, whether by choice or by force.' He nodded again, a hint of an apology in his eyes. 'Berith is simply moving his chess pieces into a position on the board for when the time is right. Should he oppose the King, or sit alongside him? When one ruler usurps another, it's important to ensure you were seen to be fighting on the right side. Berith is merely protecting his own interests because he knows the shift in power will happen.'

'You seem very sure of yourself.'

'The tide is turning, as I knew it would.' He smiled. 'Nothing is guaranteed in this world, but there would be no point in me denying that the odds are more in our favour than they have ever been. Like you say, it's best to be upfront about these things, yes?'

I stopped dead. Blake halted a few steps ahead and turned to look back at me, expectantly.

'And who is King in all of this?' I asked. 'You? Or Helel?'

When he walked back to me, standing so close that our toes were almost touching, I stayed firm, looking him in the eyes. There was an angular thinness to his face that reminded me of Davey, a similar coolness to the way he carried himself. A self-assured confidence. An arrogance that I probably would have once found attractive as fuck, because I would have known it wouldn't have been good for me. But not now.

'Miss Brogan, I'm sure that having the son of the great Lucifer swoop in and save you from the Divine Council's wrath has earned him a place on your pedestal. I even understand it to some extent. It's not as if you have had many heroes in your life, after all. No one to save you. No one to keep you from harm.' He leant closer, his eyes coolly assessing me. 'But do not make the mistake of granting him some kind of hero complex. Helel is no hero. He turned his back on his own kind for centuries. He let us suffer. Allowed us to be hunted like animals. I could not possibly tell you how many of my kind have been slaughtered at the hands of the Council. It's difficult to fathom deaths in their thousands, don't you think? All he had to do was help us. All he had to do was face his destiny.'

'Face his destiny?' I stared at him, my eyes wide. 'You make it sound like it's nothing. You're not asking him to pop down the supermarket for a pint of milk and a loaf of bread. You're asking him to help bring down the only ruling system this world has ever known. You're asking him to bring about the Great War that will end it all.'

'Yes,' Blake said. 'The same system that his own father despised. The same system that Helel himself despises because it was the Seraphim who ordered that the Council kill his parents. He was born to do this. Somewhere in the great mystery of this universe, the stars themselves aligned to ensure a child such as Helel came to be. If the supposed son of God was born to bring unity and faith, the son of Lucifer was born to bring truth, no matter how brutal that truth might be. I am under no illusions about the task ahead or what it is we have been asking – begging– Helel to do for some many, many years, so do not stand in front of me and claim to understand more than I do about his destiny.'

He straightened his spine, raising himself to his full height as he stared down at me.

'We are on the cusp of the start of a new world. A new era. A bright future. And I will not allow Helel to destroy our chances, simply because his selfish heart will not allow him to think of anyone else's pain but his own. Does his grief outweigh the losses of the entire Shedim race? Is it somehow more valid? More important? I want that new world. One where my kind are not savaged like dogs. Where we are not considered lesser beings. Where we can live in peace after so many centuries of hiding ourselves away. I do not desire war, despite what you may think, but I will do whatever it takes to ensure it happens.'

He turned and walked away, slowing only to look back at me again, his expression firm and grave.

'Helel will face his destiny, Miss Brogan,' he said. 'Whether by his own volition. Or by yours.'

*

The next set of doors was smaller than the last, but by no means any less ominous-looking.

Of course, the fact Juliette was waiting in front of it, her arms crossed, long fingers drumming against her bony elbow, made me feel like Ethan had lied about there not being a Hell and I was about to be marched right through its doors. She grinned as we approached, a cruel glint in her eyes.

'You've been simply forever,' she drawled, as she craned her neck up to offer Blake a small brief kiss on his thin lips. 'I forget how slow these creatures are when asked to use their legs.' She shot me a look of utter disdain and I returned it with one of my own.

'Open the doors, Juliette,' Blake said, with a hint of a sigh. I smiled inwardly. Somehow, I had the feeling he was tolerating her because he had to, and I wondered how long he would continue to put up with her, once Ethan had done what was required of him and Blake had his place on the Throne of the First.

'I couldn't think of anything I would like to do more right now,' she replied, adjusting some of her stray curls that bounced against the side of her face. 'I'm feeling quite depleted of energy all of a sudden. I'm wondering if your human boyfriend could put a spring in my step?' she said, looking at me. 'He's really rather a lively one considering he's not a maledicti. So much spirit. So much soul.'

With a wink, she put her hands behind her and turned the handles, grinning as the doors clicked open. She gave them a push, letting them swing back as she walked through into the next room, raising her arms in the air in exultation and then whirling around to place her hands jauntily on her hips.

'Well?' she cried. 'What do you think? Beautiful, aren't they?'

I stepped into the room beyond, my mouth dropping open, my heart plummeting even further.

It wasn't so much a room, as it was a cavern. A deep, underground chamber, its walls and ceiling similar to that of the corridor we had just passed through and it stretched out in all directions, farther than my eyes could see, the same firefly lights pulsing under the surface, illuminating just enough.

Just enough for me to see the bodies.

Thousands. Hundreds of thousands, even, all suspended, much like I had been back in the hall, their arms extended out either side, rigid and taut, their ankles bound together. The only difference was that another shimmering bind reached around their forehead, holding their heads up, and they were all completely naked, a sheen of perspiration covering their skin.

I scanned the chamber, my breath rasping out through dry lips, my chest aching in fear and horror.

They were like me. Like Rita-May Turnbull. They were maledicti. They were the ones who had seen the truth and now they were here, held in some grotesque processing plant, like cattle ready for a slaughter that would never come. I knew now why Ethan had lied to me about what the Demons did to the maledicti, I knew why he'd told me they killed them after taking their souls. Death was better than this. It had to be. This was evil. Monstrous.

There was something wrong with their eyes. I took a step closer, morbid curiosity driving me to look, even though I wasn't sure I wanted to see anymore.

All of them had their eyes wide open, but there was nothing there. There was no glint of life, even though I could see that they all werealive. Their eyes were dead, covered by the sheerest of milky-white membranes. Could they see me? Did they know I was here, staring at them as they lived through their eternal fate?

I wanted to say something. Wanted to shout, scream, make some kind of sound, but I felt it stick in my throat, an acidic bubble that made me want to throw up. Instead, I swallowed it back, scanning the faces – so many faces – of the people held here. It was mostly women, of course, and, I noticed, some among them that looked barely into their teens, but hardly any reaching old age. There were some men, those I imagined, that were like Addi and Leon and Davey, the unfortunate ones who had seen things they were never meant to see and now eternally cursed because of it.

Juliette gravitated into my field of vision and, standing close to the nearest one – a woman with lank red hair that hung down to her pale shoulders – she walked her fingers along the woman's outstretched arm, hunger dancing in her eyes.

'Told you they were beautiful, didn't I?' When she caught my horrified gaze, she pouted. 'Oh, Casey, don't be sad. At least they're still alive. It could be worse. You could be looking at a giant morgue, but instead you can think of it more as an incubator. Besides, a collected witch is far more useful than a dead one. Here they are granted something most maledicti will never get to experience – a very long life.'

I gritted my teeth. Took a breath. 'How long?'

'Oh, some of them have been here centuries. They're quite lucky really. I mean, look at them. They haven't aged a day since they were collected. They're in permanent stasis and, unlike the rest of your pathetic race, they will never grow old. One of the many drawbacks of being human, I suppose. Old age. Such a terrible thing,' she trailed off, turning her gaze on me and running a finger down my cheek. 'Still, for some of you, I'm afraid this isn't going to do much to help your looks. We can't all be blessed with beauty.'

I felt the air shift by my side, the lightest of brushes against my shoulder and I looked, struggling to drag my gaze away from the horror now, to find Blake standing there, his face solemn as he stared out into the never-ending chamber.

'And you wonder why I might think you are monsters,' I said.

'You think this is evil,' Blake replied, nodding. 'And you might be right, but it is a necessary one. Before the Fall, we never needed to seek sustenance in this way. We were Angels and power was our divine right. We have to do this in order to survive and all this will not be necessary once Helel helps us win the War. You would do well to remember that now, Miss Brogan.'

'He's here, isn't he?' I whispered. 'Addi is here.'

Blake's eyes flickered to Juliette, who smiled in response and whirled around, leading us into an intricate network of narrow walkways between the suspended maledicti. A nauseating, dizzy sensation clouded my head as I looked over the edge, seeing the sheer drop below and the endless sea of bodies going on and on. We hadn't gone far when Juliette came to a halt, and we stopped a little further away.

I groaned when I saw Addi, a groan that soon turned into a gasp when I realised he wasn't like the others. His head wasn't restrained, and his eyes were alive, fixed entirely upon me, alert and drenched in a fear that sent my pulse racing.

'Case...' he began, but before he could say any more, Juliette reached out with both hands directly in front of his bare chest, bracing her feet against the floor and pulled. The air around Addi shuddered violently and he tensed, the muscles and tendons straining in his arms and legs. He gritted his teeth together in a grimace of pain, his whole body shaking as if she'd sent a thousand volts raging through him.

'No!' I screamed, desperately trying to break from the hands that were now holding me back.

Juliette pulled again, her fingers twisting into claws and I watched in horror, unable to do anything as Addi's body continued to judder, his head shaking, eyelids flickering. The air in front of his chest was hazy, blurring, and I realised something was pouring out of him, a stream of shimmering energy that streamed from his chest into Juliette's waiting, hungry grasp. Whatever this was – this energy – she absorbed it, laughing as she did so, her delighted cries sounding more like she was in the throes of passion, and then when she seemed finally satiated, she stopped, her arms dropping heavily to her sides, faltering a little as she stepped back from him.

Addi's eyes rolled in their sockets, a foam-like spittle seeping from the corner of his mouth.

And I was on my knees, sobbing.

Blake crouched by my side, a strangely sad look in his eyes as he studied me. I glared at him through my tears. In one of his hands, he grasped the Gospel and he touched his fingertips to the cover, holding it out to me.

'Not all power is evil,' he said, almost gently. 'Power can be a wonderful thing when used in the right way. It can crush regimes. Win wars. Heal hearts. Save people you love. We both want to save the people we love, Miss Brogan. I want to save my kind and you want to save your friend. You have it in your power to do that. I know what you are, and I know the magic you can wield. You canhelp him. All you have to do is restore the Gospel to its rightful state. Put back the words that Helel stole and we will set your friend free.'

I glanced sharply at Addi, who slowly seemed to be coming round, staring back at me with eyes that looked drugged and dazed. He shook his head as he looked at me, a gesture that could have been just him trying to shake off the pain of Juliette's attack, but I saw his mouth move wordlessly, as if he was trying to say something.

'You'll set him free?' I said.

Blake nodded. 'You have my word.'

I wanted to tell him his word didn't mean shit, that I didn't believe him, but there was an odd look of sincerity in his expression, something that told me there was some truth in what he'd said, no matter how small and tenuous that grip on the truth might be.

'I want to speak with him first,' I said, noting the way Blake's brows lifted with suspicion. 'Come on,' I continued, lifting my bound wrists to show him. 'What do you think I'm going to do? Please, I just want to speak with him.'

'And then you will restore the book?'

My shoulders slumped as I exhaled, exhausted from it all, exhausted from resisting. 'What's so important about this book anyway? You said yourself that you know what I am, which means I know that you're going to use me to control Ethan. What difference will it make to restore the book now?'

Blake smiled. 'The Gospel of Helel is a myth to many of my kind. A story from a time most of them can barely remember or know nothing about at all. Many do not believe he exists, and those that know of him, do not believe in him. This book will change all that. They will know the truth and they willbelieve. Even the Shedim need faith to help guide them.'

'Is it Ethan you need them to believe in, or you, Blake?' I said.

He shrugged. 'Every King needs his pawns.'

I struggled to get back on my feet and he reached out to help me up. On unsteady legs, I half-walked, half-stumbled towards Addi, giving Juliette a wide a berth as I could on the narrow walkway. Blake beckoned her to return and she did so, still looking dazed herself from her gluttonous binge on Addi's soul.

I stopped just in front of him, raising my bound hands to his face and gently wiping at his mouth.

'Baby-girl,' he croaked. He looked sickly-pale, his skin peppered with sweat. Pressing his lips together, he swallowed, closing his eyes for a second. 'You best not be looking down south, you know,' he said, when he opened them again. There he was. My Addison.

I rested my forehead against his, doing my best to stifle the sob that was building with a weak-as-fuck smile. 'Like I haven't seen that before,' I said, rolling my eyes when his own widened. 'Skinny-dipping at Aguas Blancas, remember? You, me, Davey, that weird girl you picked up in the club. Emma?'

Addi chuckled hoarsely. 'Emily,' he corrected. 'And she wasn't weird. She just wasn't wasted like us.'

'Oh, well in Ibiza, that is weird.'

'True,' he said, sniffing as he glanced over my shoulder. 'Not as weird as this though.'

'I'm not sure weird is the word for it, Ads,' I said, my voice cracking as I looked into his eyes.

'Don't.' He scowled, his brow creasing. 'Don't you fucking dare give them that, okay? This whole thing is fucked up, like really fucked up, but you just remember who you are, yeah?'

'Casey Brogan. Life and soul of the bloody party.'

'Baby-girl, you are the fucking party.'

We laughed softly together then and I rested my cheek against his, feeling the ache burn deep.

'Why didn't you say yes, Ads?' I whispered against his damp skin. 'We could have been miles away from all of this. We could have left it all behind. I asked you to leave with me and you said no. You said no. I gave you a chance, I gave us a chance and you turned me down. Why did you have to do that, eh?'

He moved his head sharply away from mine, his eyes flaring with anger.

'What? Are you serious?' he said, his voice still a low whisper. 'I didn't turn you down, Case. I said no because you didn't mean it. You honestly think I wouldn't have run around this entire world with you if I thought you meant it? Shit, girl, I would have climbed fucking mountains for you. I would have swum oceansfor you. I would have done anything, gone anywhere, but you weren't ready to go. I knew it the moment you said it. We'd have left, sure we would. We would have packed our bags and gone and yeah, it might have been okay for a while, but you'd have gone back to him and if it weren't him, it would have been someone else. Some other dude ready to fuck you over. Because that's what you do, baby-girl. That's what you do. You run straight for the first guy who's going to chew you up and spit you back out, because you think that's what you deserve. You think that's all your good for. And the ones who know you, the ones who get you, who understand you in here.' He nudged my forehead with his own. 'You don't want them, because you know they'll be good to you. You know they'll make you feelsomething and you don't want to feel anything. You know why? Because that'll make you want to live, and you haven't wanted to live in the whole time I've known you. In fact, I think you stopped wanting to live a long time ago.'

'I want to live now,' I said, glancing away, drowning in his words, drowning in the truth of it all.

'Hey, hey,' he hissed. 'You look at me, yeah?'

I did look at him, my heart breaking. 'I never deserved you, you know.'

He sucked on his teeth, wrinkling his nose. 'Damn, you say that like you think I'm one of the good guys.'

'You are a good guy, Ads.'

'No.' He shook his head. 'I'm a dealer, babe. I'm a low-as-they-come, gear-toting scumbag dealer. That's what I am. I sell shit to kids. I peddle drugs to addicts and fuckboys and anyone who hands over a bit of cash. I've let party girls get down on their knees for a few pills. I ain't no better than the rest of them and I shoulda done you right, but I didn't. But I'm gonna do right by you now, yeah, so you listen to me.' He moved his mouth close to my ear. 'Don't you do it, okay? No matter what they do to me, don't you give them what's in that book.'

'What?' I stiffened against him, my throat constricting.

'Trust me, yeah? Don't do it. That book ain't what they think it is and they ain't got no business reading it.'

'How...?'

'Let's just say an old friend of ours told me, okay?'

I drew back slightly, staring into his eyes. 'We can't trust him,' I whispered.

'Yeah, we can, and I do.'

He meant it. He actually meant it.

'Ads, if I don't do this, they're going to hurt you and I can't save you, you know that, right?'

He smiled then, that wide, brash, toothy smile that I loved so fucking much it hurt to see it. 'Baby-girl, it's all good, okay? I know what I'm doing here.'

I looked back to where Blake and the others stood, before turning back to Addi and pressing my closed mouth against his.

'Oh, my days,' he moaned, as I drew back. 'Don't be doing shit like that, Case. You'll be getting things moving down south, you know, and then it'll get all awkward between us.' He rolled his eyes at me, but I could see the fear he was trying to hide. Fuck, I could practically taste it.

I kissed him again and smiled, my eyes hot with tears. 'It'll never be awkward between us, Addison Kane. Never. And listen, when we get out of here, you and I are going back to Ibiza, and we're going to Las Salinas beach and we're going to dance until the sun comes up, right?'

He stared at me, holding my gaze with weary eyes.

'Sure thing, babe,' he whispered. 'We'll dance there. Just like we always did.' He sniffed and nodded behind me. 'Now, you go tell that man to go fuck himself, yeah?'

I turned and walked away then, feeling the weight of every step like I was wading into the sea, as the current pulled at my feet, dragging me further and further away from him, until I wasn't sure how I would ever be able to find my way back.

Stopping in front of Blake, I looked down at the book in his grasp and then back up into his hateful, smug face. Lifting my hands, I angrily wiped away the tears that had started to fall.

'Go fuck yourself,' I said.

Beside him, Juliette grinned and pushed past me.

As Addi began to scream, I let the tears fall, but I didn't take my eyes off Blake the whole time, until finally it was him that broke the deadlock, turning away with a howl of rage and smashing his fists against the doors as he fled from the collection chamber.

Only when he'd gone, did I drop to my knees again, sobbing as Addi continued to scream. 

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