CHAPTER FOURTEEN: THE FEAR
Din knew that it was a matter of time before ships carrying the Empire's fleet would arrive. The three of you broke out of the palace prison, ran towards the foyer, past all of the statues you'd spent days near with Din, and straight for the gates. At the gates lay the knapsack you'd left behind and the weapons and pieces of armor Din had been stripped of. The two of you gathered your belongings before heading out. Stormtroopers weren't chasing you this time; your father had really told them to stand down. To ensure that you would be killed.
"The Rebellion rescued me," your brother told you quietly as you walked through the woods, trailing behind Din to get to his ship. "They took me in and they didn't question my loyalty. I proved it time and time again to them. The Empire had already lost by the time I was recruited, but there was still work to be done. They didn't stop working really until a year ago, when the New Republic was finalized and peace was restored."
"There still isn't peace," you told him. "No one has won yet except for the Empire."
Darius shook his head. "What do you think that was back there? That was a win."
"We aren't out of trouble yet," you said. "Thriff was right. No matter where we go, they will look for us. We will never be safe."
"Maybe so," Darius said, "but any death in the Empire is a win for peace. For justice. For restoration in the galaxy. You'll see. You'll learn all of this when you meet my friends, learn their viewpoints."
"It's here." Din parted a large bush with both hands. Through the green, you could see a clunk of metal; a huge, odd-looking ship. "That's the Razor Crest."
"And I thought mine was a hunk of junk," Darius muttered under his breath, ducking through the foliage.
You shook your head at your brother and stepped into the green, pushing leaves out of your face as you moved carefully. A branch brushed against your shoulder and you hissed, the pain fresh and new once again. Din's fingers carefully brushed your arm.
"Easy," he said. "When we get to the ship and I can get you someplace relatively safe, I will help you. I have plenty of medpacs. You'll be fine."
With a nod, you shook off the pain and Din lifted all of the branches out of the way for you. Your dress was tattered and destroyed, hanging loosely on your shoulders, the skirt shredded and making it more difficult to maneuver in. You held up your skirt best you could off the ground, bunching it up into your arms as you moved towards the ship. Din was right behind you for a split second before he moved around you and hurried onboard.
As you walked up into the ship, you turned. Your kingdom lay before you. The village you never got to see hid behind the trees. And the autumn was here, warm and orange and all in the distance, up in the high mountains that you would never travel to.
But you weren't sad. There was no life here.
The ship closed as you stepped completely inside of it. All of the years you'd been alive, you'd never once seen the inside of a ship. You'd never been on one before. You watched Din disappear up a ladder and you followed him. He silently turned back to grab your good arm and pull you up the rest of the way, knowing that you couldn't. When you entered the cockpit, you noticed that your brother was already in the cockpit, taking the seat in the far back. You took the seat left and smoothed out your ruined skirt.
Din took off quickly, and you gripped the arm rests of your seat as tight as you could as the ship rocked and swayed, shooting off far from the ground, passing the tips of the mountains, pushing through the fluffy clouds, and taking off into the setting sun. You took in a sharp intake of breath as you blinked, and then, suddenly, you were amongst the stars.
Din turned his head to look at you. You gazed at the viewport in amazement, slightly leaning forward in your seat. Specks of white shone all around you, surrounding you in the most surreal experience of your life.
"All my life I went not knowing what it was like to be here," you said, "to be floating like this."
Din followed your gaze. He was silent as you marveled in your seat. You couldn't imagine anything prettier than this. Anything more freeing than this moment here.
"It's so beautiful," you whispered. "Look how it glitters."
Your brother looked at you and smiled, laughing quietly to himself at how you reacted to your first taste of freedom. You ignored him completely.
The only part of escape that frightened you was lightspeed, but it ended as quickly as it began. When you were back in the soft, slow, sparkling beauty of the galaxy, you leaned back in your seat and resumed watching calmly, your fingers tracing the cool metal of the wall beside you.
"How's your shoulder?"
"It hurts, but it's bearable," you said.
He glanced back for a second. "From what I can tell, it isn't that bad of a blaster wound. The shot must've barely brushed against you."
"It hurt badly when it happened."
"Any blaster shot would," he said. He flicked a switch and stood up. "Come on. I'll get you a medpac."
You followed him. Your brother was asleep in his seat. You found it much more difficult to go down the ladder than up; you couldn't put any weight on your hurt shoulder. Din's hands appeared and gently moved around your waist. He pulled you off the rung and as easily as possible placed you on your feet.
You turned to smile at him, but he was turning away, going towards the stack of supplies he kept. He rummaged through a crate and pulled out a medpac. Silently he pointed at the same crate he had just placed the top back on, telling you to sit. You did.
He opened the back and rummaged through it. You decided you didn't want to look; nurses made you uneasy. But Din didn't try to calm you, even though you were sure he could hear your breaths that were a little too fast. He was careful with you, but he wasn't easy. The slip of his finger made you jump slightly, eyes snapping shut and teeth biting down on your lip as you tried not to flinch.
"Din," you said.
"Sorry," he muttered.
You opened your eyes and looked at him, but with his face hidden away, you couldn't tell what he was feeling. You could only assume. And with his overwhelming silence, you felt like you knew exactly what he was thinking.
"You're finally upset with me," you decided. "About... about your Creed."
He paused only for a moment before resuming, spreading a medicine over your skin. A towel covered in your blood was draped over his knee. "That isn't true."
"Then why are you acting like I've done something wrong?" you whispered.
"I'm not," he said. "I'm trying to come to terms with... with this."
"With what?"
He sighed. "Nervarro is a place you might not like. It's more peaceful than ever now, but there is still danger."
"Aren't we just... passing through Nervarro?"
"Let me finish. Danger will follow me, no matter where I go. I have promised to protect you but protection isn't guaranteed. Today is proof of that. If your brother can offer you a better life.... a safer life, then by all means, go with him. He will be what you need."
Your eyebrows pulled together. You leaned back from him. "Do you not want me?"
He sighed. "Of course I want you. I'm not asking you to leave. I am only saying that a life with me is no life for a Princess."
"I'm not a Princess anymore."
"You will always be remembered by the Empire," he said. "By Moff Gideon. And since he is alive out there... until I can finally kill him, you are in danger if you remain with me. He's after the kid and I don't know how long it'll be until he is stopped. I can come back for you, if you wish, but I don't think that being with me is what is best for you."
"How do you know what is best for me?" you whispered. Heartbroken, you stood up and turned away from him. You didn't know where to go, so you just walked away, hoping to find someplace relatively hidden in this small space.
"I don't know what is best for you," he said. "I'm just trying to think about what could be."
You paused, your hands clenching tightly into fists. "Din, I'm finally free, and you're trying to take away the first choice I've ever had by asking me to go away from you. I promised you that I would follow you anywhere."
"And I promised you that I would protect you."
You turned around and walked back to him. You stared at the visor of his helmet. "Then protect me."
"And if I fail?" he whispered, "the way that I did today?"
"I'm safe, aren't I?" you asked, and you placed your hands on either side of his helmet. He nodded very slightly. "Then you protected me."
His hands met yours and he very slowly urged you to take his helmet off. This time you did not cry when you did it. The helmet left his head and he stared down at you, brown eyes warm and in love. You shook your head at him slowly.
"Don't send me away from you," you breathed. "Keep me."
"I'll keep you," he promised, his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes flickered to your lips and as his hands found your waist, yours found the back of his neck, and his mouth found yours.
You were not afraid. You were not looking for an easy life. You'd only known a life of fear and pain and loneliness, and for the first time you were confident that you were the safest you've ever been. Your father had torn your family apart. He wasn't able to protect your mother. He sent your brother away. He locked you inside with him. But now you were free.
When you returned to your seats in the cockpit, Din held your hand. Your brother woke up and gave him the coordinates for the planet he wanted to return to. The planet of Mora, a planet of lush green and hot, steamy air that stuck to your skin the minute you stepped outside. Although the invitation for you to join him was there, you politely declined, giving your brother a long goodbye. As he stepped back onto his warm planet and into the arms of his loving friends, you stayed by Din's side, waving goodbye to your little brother as he walked down a long path.
"You're sure about this?" Din asked.
"I am," you replied. "My brother and I were torn apart long ago, both given lives we didn't choose to live. But they led us down the right path. His path goes here and mine goes wherever you are, Din."
His hand silently found yours. He turned his head to look at you and you gave your brother, who was just a dot on the horizon now, a final wave.
"I wouldn't change this for anything," you promised him, keeping your eyes on the horizon.
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