"Guided by the taillights, we walked along, down the highway.

Before we knew it, we were burdened, unable to discard our heavy loads."

— Unbelievers,
Kenshi Yonezu

ー・ー

"Kar...ma...?"

My eyes widened. It's her, my mother. Awake. Weakening, unresponsive, but awake. Though, my happiness was cut short when her consciousness once again drifted to oblivion. I glanced at Nagisa, bewildered, but he just flashed a reassuring look.

As if on cue, the doors opened, revealing a frantic Aguri-sensei with two nurses trying to catch up behind her.

"Karma-kun! We rushed back as soon as we heard the alarm go off! Did something happen to—" the brunette stopped, her sight locked at the midnight haired woman whom she just tended to a while ago. "I'm confused."

She flashed a look of astonishment when I told Aguri-sensei what happened earlier (beside the fact that Nagisa had used his abilities, of course) before ordering the nurses to conduct tests to confirm her condition.

"Hmm, she has no signs of concussion nor internal bleeding from the convulsion. At the moment, she's all fine and is ready to be transferred back to her suite. However, her body still needs to undergo proper therapy and examinations to ensure that her body can withstand the outside's ever-changing circumstances."

I sighed in relief, hearing that.

Meanwhile, Aguri-sensei still wore a confused expression as she stared at her clipboard intently. "I still don't understand. You did say she convulsed, right?"

I nodded. It would best after all if I told her a bit of truth.

"But there should be traces left. How could she recover from this quickly? Her complexion also seems to be better in comparison to before, and her breathing more stable."

I shrugged my shoulders. To be honest, I also won't seem to understand how it worked. "Maybe a divine miracle?"

She seemed to have consented to the thought and sighed. "If so, then we must thank God for healing your mother. You've both been through a lot these past few months, Karma-kun." She patted my head in a sisterly manner. "How about you go on ahead to Room 262 while we settle Sensui-san's transfer, is that alright?"

Not that I'll ever admit it, but I trust Aguri-sensei's judgement on my mother's well-being. And probably due to the exhaustion dawning on me since this morning, I nodded in response, gesturing for Nagisa who was standing on one corner to follow after.

I'll see you soon, mom.

ー・ー

"So," I started, breaking the silence between us. "I guess other people can't see you?"

He scratched his cheek, looking away from. "I think it's more of a 'don't', in a sense. Humans actually can, especially if they have a strong affinity for spirituality, like that doctor, Aguri or something. But over time, people prefer to not see us angels— prolly because we're not meant to stand out."

Unknowingly, I gave him a look of pity and asked. "Doesn't it feel a bit lonesome?"

He glanced at me, his azure eyes filled with curiosity. "What is?"

"I don't know. Maybe encountering someone from your past without their recognition?" I shrugged nonchalantly. I'm actually a bit weirded out that I was actually the one initiating the conversation. Maybe the stress is finally catching up to me.

Nagisa's pace suddenly slowed down, ceasing. His expression dimming as his stare turned to the ground.

"It does."

For a moment, sadness flickered in his eyes. But that all disappeared when he flashed his usual, annoying, lopsided smile.

"And yet again, we angels are already dead. There's no need to fret about something we can never have." His eyes wandered through doors, picking up his speed once again throughout the rest of the conversation. "It might also be the fact that our memories are suppressed as we place ourselves in the comfort of paradise. So, you can say that something is stirred, but only feelings ever remain."

So things can prove to be quite difficult up there too, huh?

We finally went inside Room 262, the silence remained. I made myself comfortable on the beige couch on the far left side of the bed after I told Nagisa to settle himself wherever. I'm still not over my attitude's 180-degree turn, nor how I gave him consent to meddle with my life just a few moments ago.

But, whatever.

"You're not as bad as I thought you were, tenshi," I muttered as I drifted off to a much awaited slumber, completely missing the bluenet's soft and welcoming grin.

ー・ー

"Mom, why are you crying?" I heard myself speak, a childlike voice emanating from my lips as I heard her whimpers echoing through the empty halls.

Then and there, I knew. I was reliving that same horrendous memory once again.

"Karu?" the woman sniffed, wiping the evidence of her tear-stained face. She lifted my projected body— the same ten-year old, helpless body I have always resented— and placed it on the mattress. "Don't mind mommy, darling. She's just washing away all the sadness in her body for a moment."

"Then why is mom sad?"

She gave out her usual sweet smile, then shook her head. "Just mommy missing her parents and siblings from overseas, is all."

Despite the age, the mindset this Karma had was never naive. He— rather, I, knew the root of her unhappiness.

"Never mind that. What are you, young man, doing outside so late at night?"

But I never wanted to cause her even more grief. So I kept mum about my knowledge until it became unbearable.

The younger version of myself smiled at the mother, brimming with innocence. "I was waiting for father to return home."

The midnight haired woman flinched at my words, her hand that was caressing my unruly crimson hair froze. I kept my gaze at her arm that was embracing my petite body— at the lightly smudged areas, where seemingly fresh and old bruises colored black and blue are starting to unravel.

"I'm sorry for staying up so late, mom. Should I not have waited?"

The sound of my voice brought mother back from her trance, then she covered her arms with her nightgown's long sleeves when she noticed I was staring.

"Maybe daddy's not coming home tonight, darling. You know how busy he is with the company."

The memory of her quivering lips as she said that one word was so vivid, I could never forget.

"Come on, let's get you tucked in okay Karu?"

After mom had my ten-year old self settled down in bed, she left, unbeknownst to her that there remained trails of tears along with her exit.

"And whatever you may hear, just sleep my darling. Mommy will handle everything. All for you, my Karu."

Then the nightmare starts. But like the obedient child I once was, I never said a word. Even though I could hear from a mile my mother's cries, and the loud crashing of porcelain emanating from their room every other night. I let her handle everything. Alone. Until she couldn't handle it anymore.

The last thing I remember before I succumb to the darkness was my sweet mother's empty crazed look, and that childlike body of mine trying to find the last sliver of hope in her eyes.

But all I ever saw was the expression of abandonment I have learned to inherit.

ー・ー

scrivener's memo:
I apologize for neglecting the update schedule, and I have no excuses. すみません。